Eying the time, she thought now would be a good time to make her and Felicia some lunch. It was nothing fancy, just peanut butter and strawberry jelly sandwiches with cantaloupe, canned green beans and cheese puffs.
“Trying to prepare yourself for how you’re going to be eating up at college?” Felicia asked, giggling as she walked into the kitchen.
“Ha ha. Very funny, Felicia,” Deborah replied.
The two of them sat down to eat. When Deborah wasn’t saying a whole lot, Felicia asked if something was bothering her.
“I’m just going to miss this place and everyone here, that’s all.”
“Everyone will miss you too, but we’ll all make it through.”
“Not everyone I don’t think,” Deborah said quietly, but Felicia still heard.
“Who are you talking about?”
“Nick. I highly doubt he’ll miss me. Last time we spoke he basically pushed me out the door like he couldn’t get rid of me quick enough.”
“I doubt that’s what really happened, Debbie. And besides, it’s been almost two months since that’s happened so I’m sure his feelings are different now, especially since you haven’t seen him in a while.”
“Yeah, right.” Deborah doubted what Felicia said as she ate the remaining bites of her sandwich.
“Hey, I’ve got an idea!” Felicia perked up.
“What?”
“Why don’t you just go over there to at least say goodbye? I’m sure he wouldn’t mind that.”
“I don’t know. I don’t think he really wants to see me.”
“Well, then you can just leave. If you don’t go there though, you might regret it.”
Deborah toyed around with the idea of stopping over there. “I guess I could stop by right before I take off.”
“All right then. Let’s finish getting you packed up so you can get out of here.”
The two girls put their dishes in the sink and finished loading up Deborah’s car. It was just before one o’clock so Deborah insisted she get going right then, especially if she was going to stop at Nicholas’ house for a moment. She gave Felicia a hug, who then drove off. Before going across the street she said her goodbyes to her mom and sister, also accompanied with hugs. After wiping a couple of tears from her eyes, Deborah got in the car and went to Nicholas’ house.
Deborah was so nervous. Not only had she not seen Nicholas in a long time, but she had no idea how Nicholas was going to react when he saw her. Pulling herself together, she rang the doorbell. When Nicholas answered the door, she knew he was shocked.
“Deborah? What are you doing here?” Nicholas asked, pleasantly surprised to see her.
“I came to say goodbye.”
“Goodbye?”
“Yeah, I’m leaving today for Upton.”
“Oh, that's right! Do you have time to come in for a minute though?”
“Not really.”
“Please?” Nicholas begged as he grabbed one of Deborah’s hands with a sincere look on his face.
That small touch made Deborah’s heart race, which put a little color in her cheeks. She wasn’t aware she still had deep feelings for him since she spent the last couple of months trying to get over him and not think of him in any way. Giving in, she told Nicholas she would come in, but only for a couple of minutes.
The two of them sat down at the kitchen table and for the first few moments neither of them spoke to each other. All that happened was Nicholas eyeing Deborah who was looking in no particular spot as she lightly tapped her fingers on the table.
“I’ve missed you,” he finally said. “And I don’t like how things ended between the two of us the last time we saw each other.”
“Me either, but what did you expect after what you said?”
Deborah did her best to avoid eye contact with Nicholas. She knew looking into his eyes would once again stir feelings for him deep inside.
“I’m just confused. Help me understand something. Why in the world were you willing to put everything on hold for me?”
“Because I love you,” she blurted without thinking. Upon seeing the look on his face and realizing she spilled her secret, she quickly added, “As a friend of course.”
That was a close call. Now get a hold of yourself, Debbie!
Seeing as she quickly explained her type of love, Nicholas didn’t think twice about what she said, believing it was nothing more than a friendly love. He, after all, loved her as a friend too.
“Even so, you do understand why I can’t let you give up everything, right?” Nicholas insisted she understand.
“It’s not like I was never going to go. I was just going to wait.”
“Well, I didn’t think that was really necessary. I mean, I’m almost one hundred percent better and I think it would have been a mistake for you to have stayed behind.”
“Okay. That’s your opinion and I respect that,” Deborah said. “Although I have to say I don’t agree with you.”
“Okay. If you respect my opinion then I respect yours. And I do want you to know I appreciate everything you’ve done and were willing to do, caring for me and all that.”
“I would have done it for any of my friends.”
“That’s what I love about you. You’re such a great friend and always willing to do something for others. Now it's your turn to do something for yourself,” Nicholas said with a smile and customary wink that he knew for sure Deborah saw this time.
How did I get so lucky to have her as a friend? Nicholas contemplated.
Deborah smiled back and for the next couple of minutes she went over what her plans were and that she wouldn’t be back home until next summer. When they finished their conversation, Nicholas gave Deborah a hug and wished her luck as she walked out the door. Although sad he wouldn’t see her for a while, he at least felt good about the conversation they had, feeling certain their friendship was on the mend.
I’m so glad we left things on good terms, Nicholas thought. I'm sure going to miss her though. I'll have to make a point to keep in contact with her and see her as soon as she gets back.
Deborah, on the other hand, blew out a sigh of relief when she left Nicholas’ house and headed to Upton. Their conversation only made her feel slightly better, but she was still hurt by all the things that were said this past summer. She would have done anything just for him to understand. For him to just want her to stay.
Seeing as that wasn’t the case, in her mind, leaving for college would give her a fresh start. And when she said her goodbye to Nicholas, she believed it would be goodbye forever. That way she’d make Nicholas happy by giving him exactly what she believed he truly wanted now days.
For her to stay out of his life.
11
Deborah couldn’t believe that her first year of college was almost done. The whole school year seemed to go by so quickly. Probably because she managed to stay as busy as possible in order to forget about everything that happened back home. She wanted to keep her thoughts as far from Nicholas Michaels as she possibly could.
For instance, a typical freshman took twelve to sixteen credit hours which Upton University considered full time. Deborah, on the other hand, took at least twenty credit hours each quarter. Not only did this occupy her time more, but it helped her get closer to her degree quicker. She didn’t mind taking the extra classes, even though it often meant the extra homework would have her miss out on some of the parties that were happening around the campus dorms. Deborah believed that most of the parties weren’t worth going to anyway.
The homework from her heavy class load didn’t bother her either. She was one of the fortunate students at Upton who could participate in the work-study program. Not only did she get paid to do so, but she was able to work on homework while basically sitting at a desk. All she had to do was make sure to check guests in and out of the dorms and answer any phone calls that rarely popped up. It also didn’t hurt that all the classes that Deborah took came easy to her so homework oftentimes was quic
k to finish.
Overall, Deborah enjoyed her first year of college. She felt she had learned a lot and enjoyed taking the various classes with various teachers. There were two classes, however, that she dreaded. One class was Speech 101. Deborah never liked having to make speeches in front of a classroom. It always made her nervous, but she knew she wasn’t the only one. When that class ended last quarter she was relieved, but walked away having enjoyed it more than she thought she would have. Deborah would never forget the speech someone made on how and why to do a colon cleanse.
The other class that Deborah dreaded was an American politics class. Not only did she have no interest whatsoever in politics, but the teacher was incredibly boring. The nice thing was that there weren’t any tests and there was never homework, a student’s dream. However, for the whole hour and a half, all that happened was that the teacher would read through the book and mention some things the students should highlight. The only thing that kept her sane through the lecture was her roommate, Amber Palser. To pass the time, they often shared notes and doodled on each other’s notebook.
Deborah was very thankful to have ended up with the roommate that she did. She knew that students were randomly put together unless a request was made to live with someone in particular. Having not known anyone when she got there, she had no choice but to live with whomever they randomly selected. Deborah had no idea what to expect seeing as she’d heard both fairy tale and horror stories regarding college roommates. While Amber fit into neither category, she was at least a clean, trustworthy person that Deborah became really close to.
Amber oftentimes came to visit Deborah during her work-study hours and the two of them would play card games if Deborah had no homework. They both were also going for a Business Management degree so they ended up taking a lot of the same classes and helped each other with the homework assignments.
When Deborah thought back over the past year, she knew that the one thing she’d miss most was Amber. She already decided to do the remaining classes online so she wasn’t going to be coming back once classes were over and summer break started in a couple of weeks. However, the two of them promised to stay in contact with each other one way or another. What helped was that the two girls didn’t live too far away from one another so visiting each other was a good possible option.
Deborah’s social life grew by leaps and bounds since being away from home for so long. She not only had the opportunity to go to a few good parties, but she even had a decent boyfriend for a change. Brad Luxley had asked Deborah out the second month of school. At first Deborah didn’t think she was ready to date anyone, but she wanted to give him a shot because he was funny and they both had some things in common. They had met each other in an English class and sat beside each other the whole quarter. Brad was actually going for an Engineering degree, which fascinated Deborah.
Brad and Deborah usually saw each other on the weekends when neither of them had much going on. Sometimes Brad would head back home because he didn’t live far from the campus, but sometimes he stayed at school. When he did he hung out with Deborah. They saw a few movies together and went out for dinner on numerous occasions. Deborah came to realize that he was a nice gentleman and very sweet.
However, no matter all the good qualities she was finding in Brad Luxley, she still couldn’t come to love him like she did Nicholas. Having tried most of the year to not think of him, and for the most part succeeded, she still found herself thinking of him from time to time. Especially when she was with Brad. She’d compare the two men, which she knew wasn’t a fair thing to do. So a few weeks back she broke it off with him. Deborah explained why and he took it pretty well. Deborah knew that when the right time came she’d find the right person to be with so it didn’t bother her to be single again.
All in all, it was a great year for Deborah. She now sat in her dorm room studying for final exams that were to take place in a couple of weeks. After that she’d have the luxury to pack up and head for home. Every time she thought of home recently she had mixed feelings. One part of her was really anxious because she didn’t want to see Nicholas again. He did try calling her a few times this past year, another reason it was hard for her to not think of him. However, she was either out or decided not to answer. Even though in his messages he left a phone number and asked her to call back, she never did.
The other part of her was excited to get back home to see her family and friends, especially Felicia. She and Felicia had kept in contact via phone at least once a week. The two of them never ran out of things to say while chatting on the phone, sometimes for more than an hour. The last week or so the conversations weren’t as long because of exams coming up, but it didn’t bother them because they knew they’d see each other again soon.
As Deborah put her Business Ethics book down, she again thought of home.
Home. I sure hope I'm ready to go back.
---------------
Nicholas walked into his apartment, shutting his door a little on the rough side. After kicking off his shoes, which landed nowhere near where they were supposed to, he walked over to the kitchen, opened the refrigerator door and scanned its contents. He grabbed an A&W root beer, opened it up and sat down on his couch. When he had put his feet up on the used coffee table he found at a second-hand store, a huge sigh of relief and unwinding came from his mouth.
It was a Friday after work and Nicholas had never been so happy to see the weekend arrive. This week was particularly rough for him, especially the last couple of days. Things were busier now at West Hartley Public Schools where Nicholas worked as a groundskeeper/maintenance mechanic because the end of the school year was coming up. This meant final sports games, prom/dances and graduation ceremonies. West Hartley Public Schools was comprised of two high schools and four elementary/middle schools, all of which Nicholas traveled to on any given day to do whatever needed to be done. He truly loved the job and was very grateful they let him come back after his accident the previous summer, but this week was tough.
It all started on Tuesday when Nicholas found out that one of his co-workers had quit without a two-week notice, which meant more work had to be done by less help. Since Tuesday, Nicholas had been putting in at least a couple of hour’s overtime each day. He was glad that his boss wasn’t making anyone come in over the weekend, but knew the next few weeks were going to be long hours yet again.
Wednesday went by okay, but then on Thursday, two of the three trucks that the school system owned had broken down and were brought to the shop. Now not only did they have less help, but they didn’t have the vehicles necessary to bring equipment to any of the schools. With only one truck in working order, they all had to pretty much go to the same place at the same time, which proved to be an ineffective waste of time and had caused the crew to miss deadlines.
Then today, as if everything else wasn’t enough, Nicholas had to go and injure himself. At least it was nothing serious. As he was moving some equipment around, he pulled a muscle, causing him to jerk back and cut the top of his hand on something. Caring for his scrape made him think of Deborah, as he did many times over the last few months. He remembered how good she was with him after the accident and realized he really missed her and couldn’t wait to see her again.
Pushing the thoughts aside, he focused on work the rest of the day. He did the best he could, but due to the pulled muscle, he wasn’t moving at top speed anymore. However, now the day was done, he was home and all he wanted to do was sit back and relax his muscles while enjoying a can of root beer, his favorite soda.
As Nicholas sat back on his couch, he drifted off for a few moments. His mind wandered from various visions until finally settling on a halo of golden hair, flowing as if from a breath of air. He saw her angelic face gently smiling at him through crystal blue eyes. Ever so slightly, she parted her lips and spoke in a clear voice as soft as a baby’s sigh.
“I love you.”
Nicholas sat straight up, swung his legs off the coffee tab
le and rubbed his eyes.
“What was that?” he asked himself out loud.
Debbie!
He took some time to think about the dream and about Deborah. He really missed her he realized again. It almost felt as if there was a part of his heart missing. He missed her friendship and the ability to talk to her about whatever he wanted whenever he wanted. Sure he had called Deborah a few times over the past year, but she never answered the phone, even when he called on her birthday or the holidays. He hoped she would have called back, but she never did, blaming it on the fact that she was busy chasing her dreams.
That's what I told her to do though, wasn't it?
Nicholas thought about calling her again at that moment, but decided against it. The school year was almost over and he figured that maybe when she got home that she’d contact him or that they’d at least be able to catch up at some point. No matter how much he wanted to talk about his day, or job in general, he felt it could wait until then.
When Nicholas got up to look for a snack, he saw the Valentine’s Day card his mom gave him a few months ago that was still on the side of the refrigerator. After viewing it, he suddenly remembered what Deborah said in his dream just moments before and what she said the last summer right before she left. At that time she said she loved him only as a friend, and since then he believed it was nothing more.
However, a light bulb all of the sudden went on in Nicholas' head. He was beginning to realize that maybe Deborah did love him more than a friend and that’s why she truly did all she did and would have done more if he let her.
Now I get it. Boy, was I stupid, he thought as he grabbed a handful of some cool ranch Doritos.
Even though Nicholas was unsure of his own feelings or Deborah's true feelings for that matter, guilt still hit him hard and he felt sick for pushing her away last year.
Growing Up Neighbors Page 19