“Some of the people are being informed,” I share. “Remember, I have my own garden and the tribe is my main source of food for the cafe.”
“You’re an exception,” Benny says. “You’re practically Native American yourself, just born into the wrong family.”
“Thanks,” I return with a smile, appreciatively.
“You’re welcome,” he comments, hugging me from the side. “It’s good you called ahead. Dad was just in for a few meetings and was going to head straight home after this. If you came about ten minutes later, you would have had to drive all the way to the house.”
“You know I don’t mind driving,” I state. “Besides, the route to the village is beautiful.”
Once the elevator dings that we’ve arrived to our desired floor, Benny leads the way into the Chief’s office that spans about a fourth of the floor. Trudy’s dad is quick to greet me and ushers me to sit in the main area with him and Benny.
“How’s mom?” I inquire.
Trudy’s whole family has become my family.
“Good,” the Chief replies. “I just spoke with her and told her you were coming up. She said to say hello and looks forward to seeing you again soon.”
“We can go see the family,” I mention. “I’ve got time.”
The Chief studies me for a moment and I know he can tell something’s bothering me. I rarely show up last minute, unannounced and alone, unless I need to seek some guidance.
“I told her we’d have dinner here, but if it would make you feel better, we can go right now,” the Chief offers, petting the dogs.
“That would be great,” I confirm.
Once the Chief calls mom, we head down to the trucks and make our way to the family home. Benny drives his dad while I follow in my truck with the dogs. Sometimes we’ll drive together, but I know they’ll be tired since they had late meetings.
The landscape changes from a highway and a few main roads into beautiful countryside as we take the exit onto an unpaved road toward the village. My nerves calm a little as they always do out here. I mull over the information and what I need to share and ask, hoping that the Chief, mom, and Benny can provide some much needed guidance.
Right as the sun passes the top edges of the mountain, we arrive at the village. Mom is excited to see me and the dogs, greeting us on the patio before we park, then escorts us into the house as Benny and the Chief speak with a few of the elders.
“It’s good to see you so soon,” mom comments as I help her in the kitchen, setting the table for four of us.
“It’s always good to be here,” I return.
She tosses in some extra, raw meat and bones into two bowls for the dogs. “How is Marcus doing with the truck?”
“Great,” I answer. “I think Trudy’s working on getting used to it.”
“I’m glad she has you to help her and the boys,” mom mentions.
“I’m glad to help them,” I comment.
“Benny said that Marcus did really well with you at the range,” she adds.
“Yes,” I verify. “Very well. I think Trudy’s more calm about that then the car.”
“I think it’s better that you’re teaching him,” mom states sweetly. “For now, that is. But, one day, she’ll need to do it too.”
“Yeah,” I agree. “I know they’re excited to come back and learn more about hunting with Benny and the Chief.”
“Us too,” mom replies. “It’s a great reason to get them to visit more.”
Neither of us comment, sensing that the mood has shifted.
Ten minutes later, Benny and the Chief come inside and we sit down for our meal. Mom says a prayer, then I signal for the dogs to eat after the four of us have taken our first few bites. General topics are discussed during dinner, which is always tradition. We never speak of anything deep or heavy, and especially not business, prior to or during our meals.
Once dinner is finished and we all help with cleaning up, the four of us and the dogs head out to the back patio where a fire has already been going for a while. We sit on the large logs that surround the pit. The Chief begins setting the mood with a pipe that gets passed around.
“What plagues you, my child,” the Chief begins, breaking the silence.
I take a few puffs of the pipe after Benny hands it to me, and then I pass it to mom. I try to collect my thoughts, but they still feel jumbled.
“You are safe here,” the Chief states, as if directing the energies of our mastermind.
“It seems…” I begin, hoping to choose my words carefully.
It’s always best to present information with as little emotion as possible, allowing one to think clearly and for solutions to present themselves more easily.
“It seems that demons from my past have resurfaced,” I state.
“In the emotional, spiritual or physical?” mom queries.
“Truthfully?” I reply. “All three.”
No one speaks, giving me time to explain.
“It’s been just over seven years since I’ve been removed of the physical, and now, the physical seems to possibly be here.”
“In this state?” Benny checks.
“Yes,” I confirm. “In Willow River to be more exact.”
“In what way?” searches the Chief.
“In the form of enemies of my enemies,” I share.
“The Feds?” mom inspects.
“Yes.”
“Who else?” she asks. “I’m sensing another energy.”
“Not sure of who it is,” I say. “They won’t give me anything else until I agree to work with them.”
“Hmm,” the Chief hums.
Anytime the Chief makes a noise that is not an actual word, that means he knows something, senses something.
“What do they want your help with?” Mom inspects.
“I’m not completely sure. Apparently, whomever it is that they’ve been monitoring is living right next door to me,” I comment. “I haven’t met him, let alone seen him. I don’t know if I can trust what the Feds say.”
“He’s there. The man they claim they’re watching,” mom mentions as her eyes flutter in the firelight. “I feel his energy. He is where they say he is.”
I let out a heavy sigh.
“What are your options?” Benny inspects.
“The Feds won’t allow me to leave. They want me to work with their agents…which means they want to use me,” I state. “That, and part of me doesn’t want to leave…doesn’t want to run…but I don’t want to put anyone in jeopardy.”
“Why won’t they let you leave?” Benny asks.
“I’m not really sure, but I think they believe that by having one of their agents pose as my ex, where he and I pretend to rekindle our relationship, that that will give them better access to their mark,” I say.
“What else is your challenge with helping them?” the Chief inquires.
“Trust,” I answer. “I don’t trust them, the Feds.”
“You feel like they may lie to you like they have in the past, yes?” mom asks.
“Yes,” I confirm.
“What else?” mom searches.
I don’t answer right away, wanting to make sure my thoughts are as emotion free as possible, but I know that they’re not. “They’re forcing me to help…using me…again…leaving me to fend for myself and the potential to lose, or have to leave, the ones I care about behind.”
The three of them nod as the subject lingers on the sparks of the fire as if being passed around between our energies and of those from the tribe’s ancestors. A spark catches in the fire and my gaze is drawn to a set of eyes that are staring at me from within the flames — that of a coyote. I’ve heard of spirit guides from the tribe, but this is the first time I think I’m seeing one.
“You feel you have no control,” the Chief states.
“Yes,” I sigh.
“Don’t let fear control you,” mom directs. “It clouds the mind and can hinder you from making necessary decisions or taki
ng action.”
I don’t reply, emotionally torn by what I know is to come.
The four of us are quiet for a minute or two as we pass the pipe around.
“You’re answer is an easy one,” the Chief says. “Not that I condone ill-intent, but take actions that are in the best interest for you.”
“What do you mean?” I ask, confused by his words.
“What do they have that would be of use to you?” the Chief says, rephrasing his statement.
“Nothing,” I answer.
“There’s always something,” the Chief replies. “Find something they have that you need and use that to fuel you to help them while you’re helping yourself and taking back some bit of control.”
“That makes sense, but I can’t imagine what they could possibly have that I would want or need,” I present.
“The answer or solution does not always present itself to you right away…especially if you are still figuring out what it is that you really want,” mom states.
“So, I’ve got to let them use me while I try to figure out what I really want.” I say.
Mom smiles and nods.
“It could get ugly, regardless if I figure it out or not,” I mention. “It’s too risky for even those not involved.”
“Those who you care for, would have asylum and safety hear, if needed,” the Chief declares. “Those who would need to know, will, just in case.”
“No,” I object, fearful of the thought that this situation could get to that point.
“And, if the time comes for certain measures, you will have the full support of the tribe,” the Chief adds.
“I could never ask that of you or anyone here,” I return quickly.
“I’m offering it so you don’t have to,” the Chief replies. “You have done so much for not just my family, but the tribe. You are our family. We are bonded by more than anything that the material world could produce or possess.”
“Like a sequoia seed, one sometimes must live through the fire and sprout from the ash,” mom states. “From life comes death and from death comes life which are one and the same to the Great Mother. The wolf is no different than the deer it eats.” She pauses for a moment and then adds, “The spirits of our people will guide you so long as you are not clouded by fear.”
Nineteen - Laurie
Two days later I’m back in town, still mulling over the whole situation at hand. I don’t trust the Feds. I know I’m already being manipulated by them. I don’t like the options in front of me. I’ve got to make best of what I have and use this to my advantage like the Chief stated, but how?
As I’m leaving the cafe, having stayed later than usual, I run into Aiden. “Don’t you have a job?” I question with a snippy tone.
“Yes,” he laughs.
My brows lift and I cross my arms in front of my chest in disbelief.
“I do tech and online trading stuff,” he states as his lie, smiling while his eyes glance down from my face to my chest. “That’s how I’m able to help dad.”
“He seems fine to me,” I remark. My throat clears when his eyes stay lowered. “Saw you two running this morning.”
“He has his good days and bad days with his joints and arthritis, you know,” he comments, glancing back up to my face with a smirk. “Besides, I know you’ve been avoiding us…even Becky…and you like Becky.”
Ignoring Aiden, I walk around him and head to my truck.
Since the day I kicked Becky, Bob, Aiden, and Paul from my house, I haven’t returned any of the messages from Becky and delete them before listening to them because I know what she’s going to say. She’s maintained a small bit of my respect since she’s the only one to call. Other than going to see the Chief, I’ve stayed home to avoid running into all of them. Aiden did come to the house yesterday, but my response was the same. I ignored him and pretended like I wasn’t home.
I open the passenger side of the truck and the dogs jump in. “Why are you following me?”
“Because, I’m hoping you’ve changed your mind.”
“To what?” I ask, playing dumb.
Aiden takes a step closer to me and closes the door. “For a date.”
“I told you, I don’t date. I’ve sworn off men,” I remind.
“That’s not what Dr. Johnsen thinks,” Aiden says with a chuckle.
“That’s just sex,” I retort. “Not that it’s any of your business.”
“Have dinner with me tonight,” Aiden states rather than questions.
“No,” I refuse.
“Why not?”
“I’m busy,” I reply.
“Doing what?”
“Maybe busy doing whom?” I muse.
Aiden rolls his eyes like he doesn’t believe me.
“I have a hot date with two teenage boys and their mom,” I share.
“How about lunch tomorrow?”
“No,” I return.
“You know helping us is inevitable,” he challenges.
“Nope,” I deny, despite knowing the truth.
“The director will see to you helping…whether you like it or not,” he states. “I’d rather not involve him.”
“I prefer the alternative,” I inform.
“What’s that?” he checks.
“Not helping at all,” I present.
“Laurie,” he coaxes. “You’re the one who can make this easy or hard for yourself.”
“There are three choices,” I share, keeping my voice low as people pass by on the sidewalk. “Help willingly, help unwillingly or don’t help at all.”
“Only two of those can work,” he reminds.
“I’ll leave town,” I comment.
“We’ve been given the directive to do whatever it takes for you to comply,” Aiden states eerily.
“Excuse me?” I return, shocked. “I’m not some fucking puppet who performs at the whim of the government…let alone the Director.”
“I know,” Aiden agrees. “Which is why I’m trying to make this work. Just talk with me…lets figure out how to minimize your involvement as much as possible.”
I study Aiden, seeing the sincere apprehension he has about trying to force me. “I’ll think about it,” I return.
“When will you let me know?” he asks.
“You’ll know,” I answer, playfully.
Am I flirting with him? Why the hell am I flirting with him? Maintain control, Laurie.
“See you tomorrow for lunch then,” he comments.
“Maybe,” I remind.
“Should I meet you here or pick you up at the house?”
I purposefully don’t reply as I try to walk around him to get to the driver side.
Aiden takes a hold of my arm, just above my elbow and spins me to face him. Our bodies are flush and my hands are firmly pressing against his solid chest while he intentionally keeps me close.
“Unless you want me to break your neck, let go of me,” I command.
“You won’t,” he challenges, sliding my glasses down the rim of my nose until our eyes meet.
“Really?” I say.
“Yep,” he returns smugly.
“It’s very tempting right now,” I caution.
“Looking forward to lunch,” Aiden says.
“I bet you are,” I return sarcastically.
He lets me go, but his hand lingers on my arm a little longer before he steps away, giving me my personal space back. “See you tomorrow, sexy.”
My mouth drops in shock at his words. I try to think of something to say, but quickly close my mouth and get into the truck. I head straight to Trudy’s, not giving Aiden anymore of my attention other than watching him from the rearview mirror as he stands on the sidewalk.
The next day, I’m over visiting Esther at eight in the morning, helping her with her gardening. The mornings are the coolest, making it the best time for her to be outside. By eleven, I’m assisting Gerald to get the table umbrella up so we can have lunch on the patio since it’s been overcast for t
he last thirty minutes. I attach a few cordless fans to the bars of the umbrella and on the backs of a few of the chairs to keep the cool air moving around for when we eat. Gerald and Esther get the table set while I finish getting the food ready. Trudy shows up with the boys and they offer to take the rest of the food that’s in the kitchen out to the table.
As I step out onto the patio, I almost drop the bowl I’m carrying when I see Aiden and Paul standing and talking to everyone. “What the hell is this?” I inquire quietly to Trudy while keeping my jaw closed with a fake smile.
“What?” Trudy questions coyly, trying to lead the way to the table.
“You’re in trouble,” I return, not moving.
“I know he asked you out for dinner last night, and you used us as cover. And then, you completely failed to mention to him that you had plans to be here with us, so I told them to come,” Trudy defends.
“How the hell do you know that he asked me out?” I search.
“He told me,” Trudy shares.
“When?”
“Does it matter?”
“Yes,” I say quickly and quietly so I’m not heard.
“Well, he’s here, they’re here,” Trudy states the obvious. “Besides, it’s a great way to test the waters between you two. There are witnesses to make sure you don’t kill him.”
“I don’t care if there are witnesses,” I remark coldly.
“Be nice,” Trudy instructs.
“No,” I challenge.
“Aiden. Paul. It’s nice that you could join us,” Trudy speaks up, walking toward them.
I greet Paul and Aiden with a half smile and a nod while keeping my distance.
Everyone get’s settled around the table and I notice there are two extra places. Right as I’m about to say something, Dr. Codie and Dr. Derek come from around the side of the house.
Are you kidding me right now? Who’s fucking idea was this?
Codie and Derek greet Esther and Gerald first and then Trudy and the boys. I barely turn my head when Codie tries to offer me a hug, so he settles for kissing me on the cheek. They greet Paul and Aiden cordially before taking their seats.
Everyone’s pretty quiet for the first few moments as dishes are passed around the table.
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