A knock sounds on the dividing door. “Just let us know when you’re ready and we’ll take off,” the stewardess informs me.
“I just need a few minutes to make a call and then we can go,” I state.
“Sure thing,” she confirms. “Would you like the door closed for privacy?”
“Yes, please,” I return.
My finger hovers over the send button, torn with what or how to say what I need to say. It only takes to the second ring for him to answer.
“Hello?” he asks with concern in his voice. “Laurie, is that you?”
“Aiden,” I reply meekly.
“Where are you? What happened?” he asks nervously.
“Aiden,” I repeat, trying to get him to calm down. “I need you to just listen.”
“Shit, did they get you?”
“No,” I affirm. “It’s not like that.”
“Where are you, Pix?” he pushes.
“I only have another minute,” I inform.
“What? Why?”
“I…” I mumble.
“Laurie, baby, please,” he begs.
“Trudy, the boys, and the Lenards are safe,” I inform, doing my best to sound emotionless. “Bob killed Becky…he was the mole…or at least one of them.”
“What? When? How do you know?”
“Thank you for everything, Aiden,” I say. “I know that you’re a good man. And, I know that you were telling me the truth when you said you love me.”
“Pix, where are you?” he requests.
“If you love me like you say you do….”
“Don’t, Pix,” he pleas.
“If you love me, don’t look for me,” I repeat. “It’s better this way for everyone…for both of us. But, know that I will always remember you.” I hang up the second the last word comes out of my mouth. It takes me a few extra seconds to remove and break the battery and memory card from the phone before asking the stewardess to throw it out in the trash that’s outside of the plane. She kindly does and I watch her to make sure.
A sinking feeling enters my stomach when we’re somewhere over the ocean. No one ever dreams of their life being as empty as mine feels right now. I don’t care that I killed a man this time. It felt good, really good, to kill not just any man, but one that I hated. It made killing him that more enjoyable. Is it wrong that I enjoyed killing him? Now I know how the Reaper feels when he comes to claim your soul.
Fifty Four - Aiden
“Laurie! Laurie!” I shout into the empty phone. “Baby, please.” I know the line is dead, but I can’t convince myself to hang up. “Fuck!” I yell, throwing the phone against the wall. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!”
I barely throw on some clothes as I stumble down the stairs, grab my keys, and head over to Paul. The moment I get to the house, I’m stomping up the steps and barge into his bedroom.
“Where is she?” I shout.
“What the fuck?” Paul gasps as he points a gun at me. “Jesus, Aiden. What the fuck…?”
“Where is she?” I repeat.
“Who?”
“Laurie,” I state.
“How the fuck am I supposed to know,” he snaps. “You’re the one living with her.”
“She just called me,” I inform. “Said something about Bob being the mole…that he killed Becky.”
“How doe she know Bob’s the mole?” Paul asks.
“I don’t know,” I huff, feeling frustrated.
“Where is she now?” Paul inquires.
“That’s what I’m asking you,” I remind.
“How does she know Bob killed Becky?” Paul questions.
“I don’t know,” I return. “She failed to mention that before or after telling me that if I do love her that I won’t try to look for her.”
“Fuck,” Paul sighs.
“If you know anything…about the moles…or shit that you haven’t been telling me, Paul, now is the fucking time to tell me,” I warn.
“Let me get dressed,” Paul says, getting up. “What do you know? Retrace what Laurie said.”
“Other than the Bob and Becky thing,” I say. “She mentioned that Trudy, the boys, and the Lenards are safe.”
“What does she mean safe?” Paul checks.
“How the fuck should I know?” I snap.
Paul and I head straight for Trudy’s house and don’t notice any signs of a break-in. An odd smell permeates the air and we find their iPads and phones burned in the pit. We check the Lenards house and find nothing unusual. It just looks like they’re out. Then, we make our way over to Dr. Derek’s and are surprised to find him at the hospital for an early shift. When we inquire as to if he knows where Trudy is, he just says that she should be at the cafe with the boys until they leave for school. We check the Cafe and other than the staff being slightly confused as to why Trudy didn’t show to open, causing the other main chef to come in, no one knows anything.
Paul joins me back at Laurie’s as we try to see if there’s anything that Laurie would leave behind for us intentionally or not. When nothing is seen right away, we sit and eat while I probe Paul for information.
“Start at the beginning,” I instruct him, wanting to make sure I get as much detail as possible about the case regarding Quintin.
Paul shares how at first, when his previous partner and he were assigned to monitor Quintin, that they were under the impression to watch, report and eventually bring Quintin in. Over time, Paul learned that Quintin’s influence was greater than they had realized, but his partner didn’t believe it. Then, one day, Paul’s partner got caught for getting too close.
Quintin’s in charge of the supply of weapons, drugs, and humans that are trafficked into the United States. Antonio, Laurie’s Antonio, is merely one of Quintin’s puppets in the whole scheme. I’m still not sure how Jack, Laurie’s ex-husband, still plays into the whole mess, but it all sickens me regardless of if I ever completely find out how.
I feel sucker punched, used and everything else in between. It doesn’t matter what I do, speak up or not, my job is pointless. There’s nothing I can do to correct that level of bullshit and corruption.
“Do you love her?” Paul asks after minutes of silence from his explanation.
“Yes,” I answer, feeling defeated. “Nothing else matters other than her.”
“Then, find her,” Paul insists.
“She doesn’t want me to,” I remind.
“You have a choice,” Paul informs. “You can continue to live, whether you know it’s a lie or not, fall in line like everyone else who knows…or, you can become a conspiracist…or….”
“Or?” I sigh.
“Or, you can say fuck it all and go after the woman you love,” he states. “Fuck the rest.”
“They’ll kill me since I know,” I declare.
“I’ve known since my partner, Danny, was killed,” Paul reveals.
“Then, why haven’t you done anything?” I press.
“How can I?” Paul challenges. “After what you know…do you think anything really can be? Plus, why bother fighting? I made my decision by leaving Tahiti.”
My head bobs slightly to indicate my understanding.
“You have a chance, Aiden,” Paul suggests. “You have the chance to forget this shit and move on. The only way they’ll come after you is if you deliberately try to reveal the truth…or, are stupid enough to stay involved and you get killed over something stupid…whether it’s trying to do the right thing or picking a side that is lesser of all the evils.”
“She said not to follow her,” I say.
“She told you that because she loves you, Aiden,” Paul mentions.
“What?”
“She loves you…why else do you think she’s pushed you away?” he states. “She said that Trudy, the boys, and the Lenards are safe…that means she left them behind too. You know she loves them…so, that mean she loves you too.”
“I wouldn’t know where to begin,” I reply, feeling defeated.
“Find T
rudy and you’ll know where to go from there,” Paul suggests. “Trust me.”
I look up at Paul, searching his eyes for something.
“Choose love, Aiden,” Paul coaxes. “It’ll make all of this much more bearable.”
“What about finding Becky’s and Bob’s bodies?” I remind.
“I’ll look into that,” Paul offers. “Let’s find Trudy so you can find Laurie.”
Five minutes later, after starting to look for a clue as to where Laurie may have gone, Dr. Derek texts. He says that he got a message from Trudy through an unknown number stating that she and the boys went to visit the family on the reserve last second due to an emergency and had forgotten her phone. Why the fuck didn’t I think about the reserve?
Paul and I head straight to the reserve, and it takes a little longer than usual for us to get to the tribe’s village. I’ve only been there twice and ended up confused with the turns to find the main road. If I had the ability to contact Trudy or anyone there, we’d be there by now.
When we pull up to Trudy’s parents’ house, we’re greeted quickly by everyone. At first, Trudy blames me for Laurie’s disappearance, throwing punches at me before I get all the way out of the truck. Her brother Benny keeps her at bay until we’re all inside. Everyone shares what they know, but Paul and I refrain from mentioning certain details. It’s better for them to not know everything. The Chief and Trudy’s mom seem quiet, more quiet than usual, which means that they know where Laurie is, or is headed. Before Paul and I leave, I try to get either Trudy’s mom or dad to tell me where Laurie is when I get them alone, but they deny that they know anything.
Barely eating, I drink myself into a stupor after Paul drops me off at Laurie’s home. It doesn’t feel the same without her and the dogs here. I tried to get the dogs to come back with me, but Trudy wouldn’t part with them. At some point, I crawl into Laurie’s bed, curling into the sheets as I desperately cling to the scent of her.
I wake at some point in the early morning, hungover and feeling like I’ve been crushed by a truck. Hoping to numb the pain, I start drinking again while I tear through every inch of Laurie’s house in search for something — anything.
Paul checks in on me, but I’m not up for talking. At some point, I start searching through Laurie’s iPad, wanting to see if there’s anything in the monitors from the past few days that will give me a clue. Scouring through the feed, I eventually find a shot of her leaving the house after three in the morning. She kept her lights off when she backed out of the house. I fast forward later until I find her back inside and punching something into the main home computer screen that’s in the hallway that leads to the mudroom and garage. Then, she disappears into the bathroom for a while before returning to the kitchen with two bags on her shoulders. She didn’t have those bags when she went in. She sets them down on the floor and heads up to her bedroom where I’m sleeping. Two minutes go by before she’s seen with another bag on her shoulder. She picks up the two that are on the floor and then leaves.
“Just give me something, Pix,” I coax. “Anything.”
I can tell that the alcohol is clouding my brain, but I don’t care. I need it to stay numb, to not feel the pain of losing her. My fingers aimlessly flick across the computer screen, replaying the main pieces of her in the house several times. Suddenly, a new screen pops up, giving me access to more than I’ve ever had. Cognizant enough to know that I didn’t crack a code or anything, I carefully move through each piece of data. A blueprint of the house pops up, one that I’ve seen early on and studied carefully when Laurie first gave me access. At first, I think that my brain is just playing tricks on me, but when my finger pushes on a new sector that’s never been shown before, all intoxication immediately drains from my body.
I scurry to get up and head for the bathroom I saw Laurie enter, closed the door and then came out with two bags in hand. “Holy fuck,” I exhale. My eyes search for the access point.
Within seconds, thanks to the help of the layout, I find the piece I need. A screen is revealed that requires a passcode and hand print. I enter in the code I’ve used for the rest of the house anytime I came and went and I’m shocked to see the access screen turn green and the door opens.
As soon as I step into the small room, I realize that it’s a panic room. There’s a cot with a pillow and blankets, a bed for the dogs, a hidden storage area for food and water, a small bathroom and several large screens that all have different camera angles flickering on them. I pick up the iPad that’s plugged into the wall where the monitors rest. The second my fingers touches the screen to turn it on, a computer voice sounds. “Welcome.”
“Hello?” I greet, hoping for a response.
“Please, state your name.”
“Aiden,” I answer.
“That response is incomplete.”
“Aiden. Aiden Killmore,” I state.
“Verifying identification,” the voice returns. “Thank you, Aiden. You are confirmed.”
“Wh….”
“You have one message. Would you like me to play it now?” it informs.
“Yes,” I confirm.
“I have been programed to warn you that once the message has been played, that my entire system will be erased. Would you like me to continue?”
“What do you mean erased?”
“I’m sorry. That is not a valid answer. Do you wish for me to play the message?”
“What?”
“I’m sorry. That is not a valid answer. Do you wish for me to play the message?”
“No,” I shout.
“Acknowledged.”
“What message?” I ask.
“You have one message. Would you like me to play it now?” it repeats.
“Yes,” I agree.
“I have been programed to warn you that once the message has been played, that my entire system will be erased. Would you like me to continue?”
Why would it be programed to be erased?
“Yes,” I affirm.
“Playing message now,” it announces.
The screen flickers and Laurie’s beautiful face appears.
“Pix,” I say.
“Aiden,” Laurie begins.
“Baby, I….” I stop immediately when she continues speaking, realizing this is a recording.
“…this is the only way that is safe for me to communicate with you. I’m sorry to have to leave a message like this, but you need to know. Becky texted me to meet. When I went to our location, behind the cafe, I saw Bob shoot her. He was on foot and had not arrived with her in the SUV. I followed him when he moved her vehicle and figured he was planning to dump her body and the SUV in the lake. I didn’t bother asking questions as to what his plans were, so I snuck up on him and killed him. They’re both in the truck and the truck is in the lake.” She pauses for a moment. “I don’t know why he killed her other than the possibility that he’s the mole…but I…I had to get Trudy, the boys, and the Lenards to safety. I knew you’d be able to take care of yourself…and…and, I wasn’t sure if I could trust Paul.”
“Pix,” I sigh.
“I don’t know what’s really going on…and I don’t want to know,” she continues. “I just know that I’m tired of being a pawn in their game. I’ve known since Jack returned that I was one…just not sure how all the pieces fit together.” She takes a deep breath. “I still don’t…and, the only way to protect everyone, including you, I cannot say where everyone’s been hidden. Know that they will be fine. I wish I could have guaranteed you the same. If you love me like you say…do not follow me. It’s best for everyone.” She pauses again. “But…know…I now understand the coyote’s message. Thank you…for everything.”
The screen goes blank.
“Play the message again,” I instruct.
The computer remains quiet as the screen flickers. “The house system has gone into emergency mode. All known information on this computer system will be deleted in five minutes.”
A clock flashes
onto the screen and starts counting down.
“Fuck!” I scream. “Laurie! Pix! Where are you baby?”
The voice for the computer starts counting down as the numbers change. Ten seconds in, it informs me, “Once the countdown hits zero, the wires in the house are rigged to set off a fire, causing the house to burn to the ground.”
“Fuck!” I shout, running from the room. “Thanks for the goddamn warning.” I run up throw on some clothes, pack several bags, making sure I grab several things of Laurie’s as keepsakes, and head out of the house. I lock it behind me, not wanting to risk anyone getting inside. With only thirty seconds to spare, I’m backing out of the driveway and headed to see Paul.
I don’t care what Laurie said. She’s the love of my life and I’ll die before letting her go. I will not stop searching for her — and, when I do find her, I don’t care if she tells me to leave. She’s my life. Nothing makes sense without her.
Epilogue - Laurie
It’s been three months and my heart and soul continue to ache for having to leave Willow River the way that I did. I did what I had to to keep my friends and family safe, to protect myself and to save Aiden from the fucked up thing called my life.
I’ve sent a cryptic postcard to the Chief two times now, letting him know that I’m still alive. He doesn’t reply, he can’t, because there’s never a return address or name included. It’s better this way for all of them.
I saw an albino husky in the park today and it reminded me of the coyote spirit guide I’ve seen two other times now since I left. At first, I thought that it was the coyote, letting me know that I’ve made the right decision and I wasn’t wrong to leave everyone, including him. With everything that’s happened, I’m not sure and I keep second guessing myself. I wish I knew where he was, how to get in contact with him.
I keep my back against the exterior brick wall of the cafe where I’m having lunch, needing to know that no one can sneak up on me. My thoughts drift back to different points in my life, flashing before me as I do my best to keep an eye on my surroundings. I miss Cain and Mable. I miss Trudy. I miss Marcus and Jacob. I miss mom, the Chief, and Benny. I miss my biological family. I miss my life. This doesn’t feel like a life anymore. There’s an empty hole that just grew wider in my heart and soul the day I had to leave Willow River. I miss Aiden.
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