by J. H. Croix
Matthew snorted something, and then I heard the door swing open. Inside of a second, Dallas was at my side, his eyes locked to Matthew. Matthew glared at him.
“What the fuck, Audrey? Is he your bodyguard now?”
“Matthew, shut up.”
Dallas was quiet, too quiet. He was coiled tight, energy coming off of him in waves.
“Just leave it alone, Matthew. Leave me alone,” I said, shaking my head. I quickly pulled the apartment key out of my pocket and set it on the counter. “We can consider this goodbye, Matthew. No matter how pissed I am at the fact you screwed one of my friends, I think it's for the best.”
Matthew muttered something and turned to Dallas. “So you're fucking her, aren't you?”
Before I could react, Dallas had Matthew by the collar and lifted him off the floor. “It doesn't matter if I am. You don't talk to her like that. You have no fucking right. You're an idiot, and it's your loss,” Dallas said, his tone low and laced with danger.
If Matthew meant to say something, he didn't. Dallas was clearly furious. I knew it wouldn’t be a fair fight if there were one. Dallas had an edge to him. That edge turned me on and always had. It was subtle, but there was a depth to Dallas that few men shared. Matthew was nothing compared to him. He was all surface and gloss. Matthew muttered something and then Dallas flung him away, turning and grabbing my hand.
“We're going,” he said firmly.
In another time and place, I might've been annoyed, but not now. I wanted to get the hell out of there. Within minutes, we stepped off the elevator into the parking garage. When we reached the car, I stopped and stared at Dallas. My emotions were a storm inside. Reeling from the reverberation of seeing Matthew, his betrayal fresh in my mind, the way I savored Dallas’ protectiveness of me, how deep my feelings for him ran inside, and the confusion over what to do about any of it had pushed me to my limits inside.
“What am I to you?” I asked abruptly, the question tumbling out.
Dallas had been about to reach for the passenger door and let me in because he was that kind of guy. He spun back to look at me, his eyes narrowing.
“What do you mean?”
“Just that. We haven't seen each other in years. You act like nothing’s been happening, but what is this to you? You said we couldn’t have anything other than sex. Yet, here you are, helping me move and basically making sure I end things with Matthew. I don't get any of this. Why do you even care?”
For a millisecond, something flashed in his eyes, but he shuttered it quickly.
I didn't know why I was pushing, but I was unsettled and on edge. My voice was raised, echoing in the parking garage. Dallas simply stared at me. His hand dropped from the door handle, and he turned to face me, leaning a hand against the top of his SUV.
“Audrey, maybe we haven't seen each other in years, but you’re Thea’s best friend. Obviously, if you needed help, I would help. I wasn't trying to force you to move away from Matthew. I thought that's what you wanted,” he said, his tone measured.
I hated that he sounded so reasonable. I also hated that he didn’t even bother to address my question. He kept to the surface. I didn't know what I was pushing for. Something about seeing Matthew had set this off inside of me. Matthew reminded me of all the signs I'd missed before with him. I'd ended up wasting a lot of time, and now here I was having crazy, hot sex with Dallas and wondering what I meant to him. I gave myself a shake.
“Never mind,” I said abruptly. “Let's just go.”
For a moment, I thought he was going to argue the point. Part of me wanted him to. I might’ve known then if I meant more than I thought. But he didn't. When the silence began to stretch, he shook his head.
“Fine. Let's go.”
The ride home was quiet. Dallas took a few phone calls, all of which were cryptic. He was always careful to keep his responses circumscribed. I had enough sense to know he needed to keep his work private, but it reminded me how unavailable he was to me, or anyone. No matter how much I wanted him for myself, I felt sad that he’d walled himself into this life where work was all he allowed himself. He was a good man with a good heart.
Thea thought everything that went down with their father had affected Dallas more than the rest of them because of his role in it. It’s not that he’d been responsible for his father going to jail, but he’d been the investigator who stumbled across his father’s financial crimes. I'd been just as shocked as everyone. Their family and mine had been close. I spent many a summer night at their house. Their mother had been an amazing cook, and she used to make heart-shaped chocolate chip pancakes for all of us in the mornings. After she died and then their father ended up in jail, they scattered. I knew they stayed in touch, but it wasn't the same. They weren’t the family I had known once upon a time.
I couldn't help but wonder how deeply it had changed Dallas. I would've guessed his work would've been important to him before. I knew how hard he’d worked to get to that level in his career, but I'd never have guessed he would be committed to being alone.
Hours later, he pulled into the driveway, the snow crunching under the tires as we rolled to a stop in front of the house. He quickly carried our bags inside. Sherry had agreed to drop Molly off this evening, so when we came in, she scurried over to us, greeting us with wiggles and kisses. I loved how quickly she’d gotten attached, but then that's why I loved dogs. Dallas set his bag on the floor and knelt down to greet her. My heart clenched. It felt silly, but it meant so much that he loved dogs the way I did. That should've been my deal breaker with Matthew. Perhaps it would've been had I been living anywhere other than New York City at the time. I hadn't had a life where I could have a dog, so I didn't think about it much.
When Dallas straightened, he caught my eyes. He looked weary, and my heart squeezed again.
“Do you want me to unload everything now?” he asked.
I knew if I said yes, he would. He was that kind of man. I wasn’t going to ask it of him. Not now.
I shook my head. “No need tonight. I’ll figure out the rest over the next few days. It's not like I have to hurry.”
We kicked our boots off. I snagged his jacket to hang up when it slipped from his hands to the floor. He glanced to me.
“Something hot to drink?” he asked.
“That would be nice.”
“What's your job, the drinks or the fire?” he returned with a small smile.
The moment felt suddenly intimate. This was the kind of thing a couple did after a long drive. I nudged my chin in the direction of the kitchen. “I'll take care of the hot drinks, you start the fire. Do you want coffee, hot cocoa, or hot cider with a kick?”
“Hot cider.”
I nodded and headed for the kitchen. Hard cider was a favorite in New England. With apple orchards spread across the region, autumn was a lovely time. Locals picked fresh apples and made cider to last through the winter. You could purchase fresh local hard cider at most local grocery stores. I’d picked up some from a local brewing company the other day. I fetched it out of the pantry and heated it on the stove.
When I walked into the living room, I found Dallas seated on the couch with Molly asleep beside him, her head resting on his knee. He was leaning back with his eyes closed. For a moment, I wondered if he was asleep. He lifted his head when I reached the couch, his eyes opening and his dark blue gaze colliding with mine. He straightened and reached for the mug of cider. I sat down on the other side of Molly, resting my hand on her hip as I took a few sips. The fire was flickering in the fireplace, its flames just starting to warm the room.
I woke hours later, held against Dallas’ chest as he carried me up the stairs.
“I fell asleep?” I asked in a mumble.
Dallas chuckled softly. “We both did. I woke up when Molly whined to be let out. She's already back upstairs on the bed.”
It felt so good to be held by him. He carried me into the bedroom. I stumbled out of my clothes and crawled into bed. It never ev
en occurred to me to wonder whether he would be sleeping with me. He curled up behind me, pulling the covers around us, his palm warm on my belly under the cool sheets. I drifted back into sleep, feeling cozy and protected in his embrace.
Chapter 23
Audrey
I heard a squeal as I pulled my hair back into a ponytail. Walking downstairs, I found Thea stepping back from Dallas. Molly was circling Thea quickly, wiggling all over. It had only been two weeks, and Molly was finally starting to look a little less skinny. Thea glanced up at me.
“Hey Audrey, I came for the weekend since I have an extra day off.”
I stepped to her, and pulled her into a hug. “Good to see you.”
Dallas leaned into the archway leading into the dining room, his eyes bouncing between us. He’d been working more ever since we’d gotten back from New York City. Things had been also more tense between us. Oh, we still couldn't keep our hands off each other, not once the sun went down. Yet, during the day, he couldn’t seem to put enough distance between us, staying busy with work almost constantly.
I’d been contemplating whether it might be best if I left and went to see my parents for the holidays. I had enough sense to call my boss the other day and extend my time off for another two weeks. Word had spread that my engagement was off. Fortunately, I had an understanding boss, and he’d easily agreed to the additional time off.
With Thea here, I knew the question about my holiday plans would come up. She was already expecting me to be here and had mentioned as much in a call the other day. She spun to Dallas, flinging her arms around him.
“It's so good to see you! That’s twice in one month,” she exclaimed. When she stepped back, she cocked her head to the side. “Why don't you look more relaxed?”
He arched his brow. “What do you mean?”
“You’ve been on vacation for two weeks.” She looked to me. “He’s pretty much working all the time anyway, isn’t he?”
I caught Dallas’ eyes and shrugged before glancing back to Thea. “Pretty much. I suppose it's a little better because he's not working at the office until midnight like you say he usually does.”
Dallas glanced between us and rolled his eyes. “Great, now I've got two of you.” He chuckled. “How about I promise not to work for the weekend while you're here?” he asked, looking to Thea.
“I'll take it. What are we gonna do today?” she asked.
Dallas immediately glanced to his computer on the dining room table. “I need to finish up a few things and make some calls.”
Thea sighed dramatically. “Fine.” She looked to me. “What's your schedule for the day?”
“I don’t have a schedule. You wanna grab a bite to eat in town?”
At her nod, I said, “Let me change, and then we'll go.”
I jogged back upstairs, Molly shadowing me on the way up. I quickly changed out of my T-shirt and sweatpants into a pair of fitted jeans and a warm, fuzzy sweater.
In short order, Thea and I were driving down the coastal road into Haven’s Bay. Just before we passed her family’s old home, she slowed, glancing to me. “Do you know if Dallas has been by here?”
“I don't think so.”
She turned into the driveway. “Let's go take a look. I asked him the other day if he was worried anybody would break in here. He didn’t think so because the old alarm system is still on. I just don't get why he won't even stop by,” she commented.
I didn’t know what to say because I didn’t have any answers. I looked ahead as we rolled down the winding driveway. Growing up with Thea, she and I had spent many an afternoon or night at each other’s houses. Their home felt like a second home to me. It was a lovely house, sitting on the edge of a bluff that meandered down to a lawn with the ocean beyond. It was an old colonial home with two stories and white clapboard siding. Beautiful and stately, it had a widow’s walk on the roof, an enclosed cupola with a clear view of the ocean, built for wives of sailors to watch for ships to return to shore. Thea and I used to love sleeping outside up there in the summer.
Dallas must’ve been hiring someone to plow because the long driveway was plowed and the front steps were shoveled. We rolled to a stop in front of the house. Thea glanced to me.
“This feels weird. The last time I came here, my dad wasn't in jail yet.” She shook her head softly. “What a mess.”
It was a mess, and I wished I could make it better for her, for Dallas, for all of them. Yet, I certainly couldn’t undo what their father had done.
I wasn't sure if Thea wanted to go inside or not, but when she unbuckled her seatbelt and climbed out, I followed her. We stepped inside, knocking the snow off of our boots as we crossed the threshold. The house was quiet and held a feeling of emptiness, of a place where no one had been for a while. It was the same except all the warm touches were gone. There was nothing left here but furniture with sheets draped over it.
We walked through the foyer with the large curving staircase that led upstairs. To one side of the main entrance was a lovely, high ceilinged living room, what would've once been called the parlor. To the other side was a smaller room that led to a large kitchen and dining room. In the back was a screened porch that ran the full width of the house. The snow-covered lawn behind the house was quiet and untouched.
I followed Thea as she walked through the home. This was where she, Dallas and their two brothers had grown-up. When I was younger, a small part of me had once envied their family. They had been a wealthy family, yet their mother was loving and fun. While their father might’ve been distant, their mother set the tone for the family. I knew a bit from Thea about when things went sideways for their father. They didn't feel so lucky anymore because they lost everything but this house. We meandered through the upstairs, our footsteps echoing on the hardwood floors.
“God, this is depressing,” Thea said softly when we were back at the main door. “No wonder Dallas doesn't want to come here.”
She was quiet after we left. We didn’t even talk about where we were going. We went to Emile’s by unspoken agreement. We snagged the table in the corner. Emile wasn't here today. I didn't recognize the woman working the deli, or the waitress who came to take our order. Thea looked pensive. After the waitress brought us our coffees, I glanced over at her.
“Are you okay?”
She flipped her fork back-and-forth between her fingers and shrugged. “I guess so. That was weird. I've been nagging Dallas about the house, saying that we should do something. Now I kinda see why he’s just sitting on it. It’s the only thing we have left after all of it. It’s sad to be there. It feels so empty.”
“Do you think you’ll ever come back here?” I asked.
“I dunno. I mean maybe we could rent it or something. It's just us now and none of us are in the same place.”
“There's no rush. I suppose you'll figure it out. Were you planning to stay there for Christmas?”
Thea sighed heavily. “I thought we would, but it feels weird. Not to impose, but maybe we could stay at your place.”
For a flash, I considered that would mean my nights with Dallas would have to be put on hold. I didn’t dare sleep with him with Thea and their brothers around. It didn't mean I didn't want to. I shook my thoughts off of him. I considered the sleeping arrangement. There were four bedrooms upstairs, which meant somebody would have to bunk together.
“You and I could share a bedroom like old times,” she said with a little laugh.
“You’re welcome to stay. I'm still not sure if I’ll be here through Christmas.”
Thea’s eyes narrowed. “Why? You said before you would be.”
“I know, but my parents would love for me to come down there. I’m not sure,” I hedged.
Our waitress arrived with our sandwiches. Conversation moved on. Somewhere along the way, Emile came in and stopped by our table, giving Thea a quick hug.
“Good to see you girls here,” he said.
His salt and pepper hair was more salt now.
His presence was steady and comforting, perhaps because we’d spent so much time here when we were younger. He and Thea chatted, catching up on all the Haven’s Bay news. Not much later, we left. As we were turning into the driveway at my family’s home, she glanced my way.
“How is Dallas really? I was so happy when he said he was coming here to check on the house. I thought it would give him a break. But it’s like he can’t even stop working,” she said with a sigh.
More and more, I was coming to see his work was how he escaped from the rest of life. It tugged at my heart, yet I didn’t know that he would let us be more than we were. I needed to remember that.
“I know. I suppose here at least he’s not working late, so it’s some kind of break.”
Thea sighed. “I suppose. I wish he’d find something other than work to be passionate about.”
My mind flashed to the way his hands and mouth felt when they were mapping my body, to the dark need reflected in his eyes when he was buried inside of me. I didn’t quite think that’s what Thea meant, but I knew there was one way he could let go.
Chapter 24
Dallas
“No seriously,” Thea said with a laugh. “The guy was ridiculous enough to go into court and tell the judge the reason he was late was because his girlfriend threw a pizza at him. I swear, every time I think I’ve heard it all, I hear something else.”
I chuckled and took a sip of wine, idly spinning the glass stem between my fingers when I set it back on the table.
Thea and Audrey had gone to law school together. Thea was a prosecutor in New York City and often shared funny court stories. I glanced between her and Audrey. Between the three of us, we’d almost finished a bottle of wine.