by Linz, Cathie
“You made breakfast.” She sounded stunned.
He shrugged awkwardly, his broad shoulders bare, a pair of jeans hanging low on his hips. “It’s no big deal. Just bacon, scrambled eggs, and toast.”
Julia wanted food. But she was naked under the sheets and wasn’t about to parade nude across the room. So she yanked the sheets around her, toga style, and headed for the food.
“Mmmm, good,” she mumbled around her first bite. She was starving. “You’re good. Very, very good.”
“As a cook, you mean?” he teased her, offering her another slice of perfectly prepared bacon by holding it in front of her mouth.
“Mmmm.” She bit into the bacon. “That, too.”
“So you thought I was a good lover?”
“You were great. But you already know that.”
“So were you. But you already know that,” he repeated with a wicked grin.
She blushed. “I really had no idea. I mean it’s never been like that for me before . . .”
“Like what?”
“Like flying into the sun. Thank you.” She leaned closer to kiss him—intending it to be short and sweet but ending up being long and leisurely.
“You’re thanking me for what specifically?” he murmured.
“For everything. For understanding.”
“Mmmm.” He nibbled on her fingertips.
“And for that move . . . what did you call it?”
“Butterfly whiplash.”
“Mmmm.”
He peeled the sheet from her body. “Maybe I should demonstrate it for you again, so you’ll remember this time.”
Julia never realized that making love in a chair could be so awesome, but Luke grabbed a condom and showed her just how to make the most of their position . . . with her on his lap and him lodged deep within her.
Later that afternoon, Julia sat at Luke’s dining table and tried to make sense out of her life. Recognizing that she might need some time alone and that she wasn’t ready to face her mom yet, Luke had gone over to Algee’s to watch the football game.
The minute Julia was alone, she realized that solitary meditation might not be all it was cracked up to be. But by then Luke had left and calling him back would only make her look like more of an idiot.
Note to self: Get a plan. Fast.
Julia found a pad of paper and a pen and started writing.
OPTIONS:Move elsewhere in the country.Too much trouble.
Would need new job. Like it here.
Move elsewhere in Serenity Falls.Get an apartment and leave Angel et al in house.
Town would talk, and too expensive anyway.
Kick my family out.That one definitely had appeal, but what kind of person would that make her?
A smart chick with backbone.
And one without compassion.
Move in with Pam.She only has a small one-bedroom place, so that isn’t really practical.
Move in with Luke.
Julia immediately crossed that line out. Where had that thought come from?
The man kept his bed and a punching bag in his living room.
And a couch. One that looked like something from the brand-new IKEA catalog, now that she thought about it.
She couldn’t see Luke thumbing through home furnishing catalogs, though.
She could see him telling Adele to order him a couch like he’d order a pizza.
It was obvious to her that this was not a man who put down roots. Despite having ordered a new couch. And a bed, too, now that she looked at it.
What did she really know about him? He’d been in town two months now, and she still had no idea what he’d done in the twelve years he’d been away from Serenity Falls.
Sure, he’d let it slip that he’d been in the Marines. But that was it.
What else did she know?
That he was an awesome kisser. That he knew just where and when to touch her. That he hadn’t taken advantage of her last night despite the fact that she’d wanted him to. But that he had allowed her to seduce him and had given her incredible pleasure in return.
That he looked great in black leather and jeans on the back of a Harley. That she wanted to be there with him, riding off for a wild weekend of hot sex.
And that was so not like her. She wasn’t the type of woman to get sidetracked by a bad-boy image.
But there was more to Luke. At Christmas dinner, she’d seen the way he interacted with Tyler and Algee. All three of the town’s outcasts had drawn together like companions-at-arms. And he’d been thrilled with the Harley-Davidson book she’d gotten him for Christmas. He’d clearly put some thought into the presents he’d gotten her—a silver daschund and a silver hot dog charm on a lovely chunky silver bracelet. And a set of daisy underwear—from prim briefs to outrageous thongs.
Yes, he was cocky.
Yes, he was exasperating.
Yes, she was falling in love with him.
And yes, she knew that wasn’t a very smart move.
Julia stared down at the pad she’d filled with her neat notes and tidy handwriting.
Lots of words, but still no plan. Not a good thing.
Chapter Thirteen
“Are you okay?” Angel asked the instant Julia walked in the door later that afternoon. Her mother’s hands fluttered as if they were doves that wanted to land on Julia but were afraid to. “I’ve been worried sick about you.”
“I can’t talk to you yet.” Julia thought she could. That’s why she’d come home. Well, maybe not the primary reason—that was because this was her house and she’d left it with only the clothes on her back. Plus, she couldn’t hide out at Luke’s, making love with him forever—as tempting as that might be. Or sit at his dining table like a wimp making useless lists.
She’d thought she’d regained enough control to come home and deal with her mother. She was wrong.
Note to self: Not ready yet. Definitely not ready yet.
“You’re angry.” Angel’s hands came together in a wringing motion. “I understand that. You feel I betrayed you.”
“Please don’t tell me how I feel.”
“Okay, then you tell me how you feel.”
“I just told you I can’t talk to you right now.”
“I know.” Angel nodded. “I should listen. You need time. Your aura is disrupted.”
“Do not talk to me about reading auras. I’m sick of hearing about things that aren’t true!”
“Auras are true.”
“This from a woman who lied to me my entire life about who my father really was!”
“I explained.”
“Yes, that you’d already told Skye before you told me. I’m the family joke.” Julia’s voice shattered with the humiliation and pain she still felt inside.
“No, you’re not! Don’t say that.”
“Why not? That’s how you and Skye view me. As the stupid, sensible one who doesn’t know how to have fun. As the good girl. Well, that’s changed.”
“Oh, honey.” Angel shook her head and looked at her with such sad, sad eyes. “I hope you didn’t do anything you’ll regret.”
“This from the woman who last night was mocking my ability to have an orgasm?”
“I wasn’t mocking.”
“Well, for your information, I do not recite the Dewey Decimal System when I come. I’m sure that will reassure you.”
Angel hung her head. “We were wrong to tease you. How can I make it up to you?”
“By telling me my father’s name,” Julia immediately said.
“I can’t do that.”
“You mean you won’t do that.”
Angel wrung her hands again, her narrow face displaying her agitation. “You don’t understand.”
“You’ve got that right. I don’t understand. If you weren’t going to tell me the entire story, the entire truth, then why tell me anything at all? Why not leave me in blissful ignorance? Didn’t you stop to think how this news might affect me? Or were you too wrapped up in yo
ur own guilt to care about that?”
“I did care. I do care. That’s why I was so conflicted about telling you.”
“Oh, but the runes told you to do it now, is that it? Or the tarot cards? Or tea leaves?”
Angel stood her ground, her colorful Indian cotton skirt flowing around her ankles. “Mock me all you want, but that doesn’t change the fact that the time had come to tell you.”
“Fact?” Julia scoffed. “You don’t deal with facts. You deal with fiction. And what did you actually tell me? Only enough to upset me.”
“That wasn’t my intention.”
“Then what was your intention? Tell me, because I still don’t get it. Did you want to disrupt my life? Make me doubt who I am? Turn my entire world upside down?” Julia fought back the tears to no avail. “Well, congratulations. Mission accomplished. Are you happy now?”
“No.” Angel looked as if she were about to cry as well. “I’m not happy. I deeply regret hurting you. I made a mistake.”
“So now I’m a mistake?”
“No!” Angel vehemently denied. “I meant it was a mistake not to tell you earlier.”
“Yes, it was.” When her mother made no further comment, Julia said, “I’m going upstairs to take a shower.”
As she walked away, Julia noted that this wasn’t the way she’d expected to start the New Year—with an awesome lover, a deceitful mother, and a mystery-man father.
Luke’s motto of “expect the unexpected” was turning out to be the story of her life.
“You’re whistling, man,” Algee told Luke. “What’s up with that? You never whistle.”
Luke reached for a tortilla chip. “Hey, I’m just watching a football game.”
“Since when are you a fan of a college bowl game?”
“You know I like football.”
“I know you’ve got the look of a man who got laid last night.”
Luke glared at him.
Algee shrugged. “Fine. You want to limit the conversation to football, I can do that. Far be it from me to intrude where I’m not wanted.”
“I’m not into locker-room bragging about the women I may or may not have been with.”
“Neither am I. My momma raised me better than that.”
“You never talk about your family.”
“You don’t either,” Algee pointed out.
“I’ve got reasons.”
“My momma raised me on her own in the projects in Chicago. My daddy took off right after I was born. She made sure I stayed out of trouble and got a good education, courtesy of the United States Navy.”
“Ah, so you were a squid.”
“Yeah, and I figure you must have been a jarhead, right?”
Luke nodded. “The few, the proud, the Marines.”
“There’s always been something crazy about jarheads,” Algee stated.
“On the contrary. There’s something crazy about squids, cooped up in a boat all day, away from all the action.”
“Totally inaccurate. And it’s a ship, not a boat. Hey, that was out of bounds!” Algee yelled at the screen, almost upsetting the huge bowl of popcorn he’d made in the process. “Are you blind? That catch was totally out of bounds! Did you see that?” he asked Luke.
“I was reaching for a nacho.”
“That’s the problem with life, man. It happens while you’re getting distracted by a nacho.”
“Uh-huh.”
“I mean look how that librarian got to you. Like a stealth weapon, she flew right under your defenses.”
“You trying to write a romance novel or something?”
Algee tugged on the diamond stud earring he’d gotten since they last time they were together. “I’ve read a few. Some of ’em aren’t bad.”
Luke held up his hands as if warding off evil cooties. “Don’t give me any.”
“Why? Because you’re living the studly life?”
“A gentleman never kisses and tells.”
“And we know what a perfect gentleman you are,” Algee scoffed.
“Hey, I was polite to those nuns,” Luke reminded him. “Even moved furniture for them.”
“Yeah, right. A prince among men, that’s you.”
Luke threw a tortilla chip at him. “Just watch the game.”
“I will. But you better watch yourself, or you’ll be married and settled down before you know what hit you.”
“Not in this lifetime,” Luke stated emphatically.
“Julia!” Bang, bang, bang on her bedroom door. “Read to me!” Toni shouted.
She reluctantly undid the lock.
“Here.” Toni shoved the book Julia had gotten her for Christmas at her. “Read to me.”
Julia looked down at the title. Are You My Momma, Llama?
The story, about wondering who your parent was, struck a little too close to home for her at the moment. “How about I read you something else?” Julia suggested. “One of the Olivia stories or . . .”
“No, I want this one!” Toni pointed to the book for extra emphasis, her tiny finger tapping the cover, before she climbed up onto Julia’s bed.
Toni had removed her Wellington boots in the house, which was a good thing. And she wasn’t wearing her tiara today. In fact, she was dressed rather normally for a change and was even wearing the top with the kitty on it Julia had gotten her a few weeks ago.
Looking at her little niece, who was rather adorable sitting on her bed, Julia suddenly wondered what it would be like to have a child of her own. Sitting beside Toni, Julia felt her heart melt when the normally mischievous child suddenly leaned her head against her and hugged her.
“I missed you today,” Toni told her.
Julia was stunned. “You did?”
Toni nodded.
“But you don’t miss me when I go to work at the library, do you?”
“Sometimes.”
“You never told me so.”
“I never told you about the kitten I want, either. I asked Santa, even though he doesn’t pay his elves. But my kitten didn’t come.” She lifted her head and stared at Julia with such big sorrowful eyes that Julia wanted to rush right out and get her a kitten immediately.
The intensity of her emotions gripped Julia by the throat and left her momentarily speechless.
Toni had no such trouble. “Maybe the Easter bunny will bring my kitten. The Easter bunny doesn’t have elves. Danny next door says there is no Easter bunny, but I don’t believe him. He’s a capitalist pig.”
The ultimate insult. Skye and Angel had taught her well. But Angel claimed that Julia’s father was a capitalist pig.
“Do you believe in the Easter bunny?” Toni demanded.
Julia didn’t know what to say. “I don’t know.”
“That’s okay.” Toni patted her cheek reassuringly. “You know lots of other stuff. You’re smart.”
“You think so?”
Toni nodded. “You can even read the big words.”
Julia might be able to do that, but she sure couldn’t make sense out of the mess her life was in right now.
Gazing down at Toni, Julia wondered—if she had a child with Luke, would she lie and not tell him?
So many questions, so few answers.
Angel sat beneath the big pine tree in the town square . . . as close to it as she could get on the bench beside it. There was snow on the ground, so she’d had to make do with the bench.
Angel remembered how as a child Julia had always wanted snow during the holiday season. She used to draw picture after picture of snowflakes. She was fascinated with the white stuff.
Angel stared up at the pine tree. They were supposed to interact with the human energy in a cleansing way, drawing off negative emotions. Especially guilt.
And Angel was certainly feeling plenty of that. Guilt. Eating away at her. She’d hurt her daughter. Hurt her deeply.
Was Julia right? Had she been selfish to tell her?
“Happy New Year,” Tyler said quietly.
She h
adn’t even heard him approach.
“Mind if I join you?” He pointed to the bench.
She waited until he sat beside her before blurting out, “You know that secret I had? It didn’t work out.”
“What didn’t?”
“Telling the truth. Julia hates me now.”
“I doubt that.”
“You shouldn’t. I’m telling you the truth.” Angel paused to smile with sad self-mockery. “I always prided myself on telling the truth, on living a truthful life. My daughter knew that, and I think it made this all harder for her to accept.”
“Whatever you two argued about, you’ll make it up.”
Angel shook her head. “I don’t think so. I hurt her to the soul of her being.”
“I can’t imagine you hurting anyone.”
“I try not to, but in this case . . .” She wiped away a tear. “I haven’t been a good mother to her. I should have done better. Should have told her the truth about her father.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that I just told my oldest daughter that the man she thought was her father wasn’t really. He died in South America when she was nine.”
“Her father?”
“No, the man she thought was her father. Her biological father is still alive.”
“Who is he?”
“You have a strange look on your face. Are you worried I’m going to tell you that you have a daughter, that you’re her father?”
“Trust me, I would have remembered if you and I had met before.”
“Really?”
“Absolutely.”
“That’s nice of you to say. You’re not Julia’s father, although I wouldn’t mind if you were. That would be convenient, huh? Julia knows you, likes you. But maybe it wouldn’t have been convenient for you. Maybe you already have kids.”
Tyler didn’t say anything.
“Anyway, her father isn’t someone like you. I wish he were, but he’s not.”
“What’s wrong with him?”
“He’s a corporate capitalist. Rich, of course.”
“And you’ve kept his daughter from him all these years because of that?”
Angel wrapped her arms around herself defensively. “He would have been a bad influence on her. He cheated on me and walked away from our relationship without ever looking back.”