Today was Christmas Eve. Nathanial had originally planned for his family to come to Kill Devil Hills for the holiday. I was looking forward to meeting everyone and he even had a rental house all set up. But then one of his nieces got sick with strep. I thought for sure he’d leave to go to Miami for Christmas. But he hadn’t. He’d decided to stay with me. And his family would come after Christmas when everyone was feeling better.
That meant this year I had a date to my parent’s annual Christmas Eve dinner. I guess there was a first for everything. Noah and Georgie were home from school—they were going to be there. Both set of my grandparents would be there. Even Rhett would be there. His family was scattered these days, so he’d decided to stay in town and I’d invited him.
I purposely hadn’t told my parents about Nathanial. I hadn’t mentioned him because I wanted to shock the hell out of everyone when I showed up with aman—acelebrity man—in less than an hour. My camera was charged, safely in Rose’s possession at the moment, and ready to capture everything. I’d let it slip to her earlier today that my new boyfriend was famous. I’d never seen her so giddy and nervous.
Typically, I wasn’t one to try to heighten the family drama. But by bringing Nathanial and by surprising everyone, I hoped that I would help lessen the pain we’d all be facing due to spending this holiday without my brother. My parents still didn’t know he was alive, and I figured the distraction would be good for them. The holidays were meant to be merry and fun—it sucked that because of Ben’s bullshit ‘death’ that had to hang over everything.
“Are you nervous about meeting my parents?” I asked Nathanial. He wore khaki pants, a collared shirt, and a gray sweater. And he wore the shit out of those clothes. He was too handsome for his own good all dressed up like that. Biting down on my lip, something I did to keep myself sane, I tried not to watch him too much as he finished getting ready. But the truth was, I was completely undressing him with my eyes.
“Stop staring at me like that, Ellie,” he growled, shooting me a sideways glance. “Or we’re going to have to get naked and then we’ll be late. Seriously, cut it out. We can’t be late.”
Yeah, the thing about his threat was…I wanted to provoke him. “I can’t wear this stupid Christmas sweater,” I impulsively decided. It was my favorite, ugly sweater with Rudolf sewn on the front. I wore it every Christmas. But I ripped it off, dramatically, exposing the brand-new cherry-red bra I’d bought. The bra was supposed to be a Christmas present for Nathanial…later. But I couldn’t wait until later. Shimming out of my jeans, I moved for my closet. I owned exactly one dress—a black dress. I found the dress and pulled it from my closet. “The zipper always gets stuck on this dress. Will you help me put this on?”
“Are you fucking with me right now?” he asked. He came up behind me, brushing the tips of his fingers across my shoulders and down my arms.
I grew hot all over. “Maybe,” I breathed, unable to follow through with my plan to seduce him.
The tables turned in a moment. Now, using his touch and mere presence, he was seducing me. Without saying a word, he took the dress out of my hand and carefully hung it back in the closet. He slipped his hands around my waist—one gripping me close to him, while the other went down to my panty line. He lightly traced the skin along the edge as he inhaled against my neck, making my knees instantly go weak.
“Whenever you want me, just ask,” he muttered against my ear. “Okay, baby? I’m yours so there’s no need for whatever it was you were doing.”
I nodded, unable to respond. Because his hand had found its way further down, touching me exactly where I was thumping and begging for him. I sighed, letting my head fall back against his shoulder as he stroked in small circles. Then a strange moan left my lips as he pressed a finger inside.
We were going to be late for sure. Nathanial didn’t know how to do quickies.
My mouth had gone dry, my body limp, and my mind was already swimming. He kept touching me, while he kissed my neck and bare shoulder.
“I need you to fuck me,” I whispered, stopping him. “Now.”
His touch left me.
He grabbed my hand and directed me toward my bed, gently pushing me so that I fell backward onto the covers. He started undressing—first his sweater and collared shirt then his khakis and boxers. My body was screaming for him, my senses on fire, but he went about as damn slow as he could, purposely torturing me.
Once he was naked, with me about ready to combust, he crawled into bed and on top of me—kind of like a lion after its prey. I was on birth control now and we’d stopped using condoms, so there was no time wasted worrying about that. We could get right down to the good stuff.
But there was always this moment, the moment right before, that had become my new favorite thing. As he positioned himself at my entrance, right before the beast inside him had a chance to fully take over, Nathanial would grow incredibly sweet. The way he pressed his forehead to mine and stared into my eyes, the way he kissed me like I meant everything to him, the way his strong hands gripped my waist a little tighter—I loved it all. I cherished that moment each time it happened.
A second later he was inside me, filling me, stretching me, and holding me close as he began his assault. With this sexy, confident man inside me, it only took a few minutes before he had me whimpering his name out in warning. I was close to my orgasm. And I couldn’t hold off the feeling, not even for a second. The world blurred and I saw stars; my body tingled and my heart expanded. The moment reminded me of one of the Van Gogh paintings I loved so much—vibrant colors, something mysterious, and a feeling no one or nothing else in this world could replicate.
As I came down from my high and he found his release, I realized something…
I’d fallen in love with him.
* * *
At my parent’s house, we let ourselves inside without knocking. The entrance was at the bottom level, which essentially was the basement. The main level, where everyone would be, was on the second floor.
On the drive over, I hadn’t said a word. I wasn’t sure if it was because of my early realization about loving him or if it was my nerves about tonight starting to set in. “Are you okay?” he asked, catching my hand and stopping me before we had the chance to go up the stairs. “If this is too soon, if you’re not ready to introduce me as your boyfriend, then we can tell them I’m just a friend.”
“No,” I blurted out. “I definitely don’t want that.”
“Then what’s wrong?”
I love you and I’m terrified of the day you’ll leave me. Of course, I couldn’t tell him that. Nathanial was a superstar. I was a small town girl. How long before he realized this and left me? Actually, I knew the exact the date. March something-or-other. The day his show started filming again. I wasn’t a self-doubting, insecure person, but realizing how much I loved him and how much I stood to lose—I suddenly became one. “Nothing,” I told him. “I have a bad feeling, that’s all. My dad’s eggnog will help me feel better.”
I started for the steps. He caught my hand and pulled me back to where he still firmly stood. Brushing my hair back, he softly kissed my lips and said, “Well, I have a good feeling about everything. Tonight will be fine, I promise. And after…I can’t wait to spend the night and wake on Christmas morning with you. I’ve never done that with anyone before, and I love that it’s you I’m sharing it with.”
And just like that, those insecurities floated away. Spending Christmas together was a big fucking deal. He said those words and I knew that I didn’t need to worry about March something-or-other. I wanted to make this work even when that day came. Everything inside me had to believe he wanted that too. “I love that it’s you too,” I told him.
“Good. Let’s go upstairs. I’m starving and something smells delicious.”
“That would be my mom’s roast.”
“I don’t care what it is. I’m eating it.”
I smiled. He was always thinking with his stomach, something I
’d discovered in the last two weeks living with him. I led him upstairs. Ready or not, this was it. We came into the living room/dining room area. Everyone was already gathering around the table for dinner—a table extended by two card-tables in order to fit everyone. The room was decorated in Mom’s finest beach-themed Christmas décor this year. Some years she went more traditional, some years not so much. This year was a beach year.
Rose was the first one to notice us. She squealed and ran over, immediately hugging Nathanial. Shocked out of my mind at her open affection—sometimes I had a hard time getting her to hugme—I watched as he laughed and bent down to tell her hi. “You must be Rose,” he said, shaking her hand.
“Yes,” she whispered. Now she was turning shy. I didn’t blame her. Nathanial was intimidating.
“Do you know who I am?” he asked.
“Yes. Nate West.”
“Friends and family call me Nathanial. Will you call me Nathanial?”
She nodded. I think Nathanial might have had more to say to her, but he noticed Mom walking over and stood up. “Hi, Susan. Nice to see you again.”
“Hi, Nate,” she said politely. “Good to see you too. You know my daughter?”
What the hell? How did they know each other?
“Yes,” he said, choosing this moment to grab my hand and interlock our fingers. “Ellie is what brought me here.”
Taking in the sight of our joined hands, I swear to God, Mom’s eyes bugged out a little. “You’re together?” she asked incredulously.
“I told you she had a boyfriend,” Rose interjected. “See. Boyfriend. In the flesh.”
Mom didn’t seem to know what to say. She kept staring at us—probably waiting for someone to shout gotcha and tell her this was all some big joke. But it wasn’t a joke and I needed her to get with the program sooner rather than later.
Finally she spoke. “I have to say—this is surprising. But…alright.” She clapped her hands together. “Welcome to our home, let me introduce you around.”
Mom wasted no time introducing Nathanial to everyone. He already knew Noah, Georgie, and Rhett, but he shook all their hands and played along as my mom went around the room with him like he was some kind of show-pony.
All five of my grandparents were here—five because Mom’s parents had been divorced forever and Grandpa Joe was my step-grandfather. And even though Mom kept stressing Nathanial’s name, none of my grandparents seemed to recognize him. They probably had never watched a show as violent as his show. Still…I half expected Grandpa Joe to shout something ridiculous like, “I thought you were gay,” to me. But that never happened.
My Aunt Michelle stroked Nathanial’s biceps a few times like she was petting an animal. But other than that, nothing out of the ordinary happened. Then there was my dad. Dad was cool with just about everything, so his non-reaction was about the only one I expected.
“What did I tell you?” Nathanial whispered as we got sat down. “Everything is going fine.”
“How do you know my mom?” I whispered back. “That was weird.”
“She’s—”
“Ellie, honey,” Mom said, before Nathanial could respond. “Would you help me in the kitchen for a moment?”
Uh oh. Here it comes. So much for everything going fine.
I glanced at Noah, Rhett, and Georgie, who sat across the table from us. Ever since I walked in the door the three of them had been watching me and Nathanial carefully, as if they were waiting for something to happen too. “It’s okay,” Georgie mouthed. “Go with her.”
Nodding, I stood and followed Mom.
In the kitchen, she immediately gave me a pointed stare as she turned on her electric knife to start cutting the roast. “You brought a man,” she commented, speaking loudly over the buzzing noise. “I’m shocked.”
“Yeah,” I joked, “imagine how shocking it was for me when I first met him and realized I felt more than friendship.”
“Ellie, please,” she groaned, slicing up that meat like a pro. “There’s no need to get sassy with me. I’m curious, that’s all. A mother is allowed to be curious about these things. It’s not every day your daughter brings home a man, especially when you usually don’t date men. I guess it’s pretty serious too since he moved here and all. From what I’ve seen of him, he’s a very nice, put-together man.”
“Wait. Did you saymoved?” My heart immediately began beating harder than it already was. “Like you’re his realtor?”
“Yes. He settled on a house about two weeks ago. You didn’t know?”
I was having a little trouble breathing. “He’s been staying with me. I didn’t know he had a house.”
There suddenly was a crashing sound in the dining room—like someone dropped a giant plate or something. Then I heard my dad shout, in the most frantic voice I’d ever heard him use, “Susan get out here, please!”
She turned off the knife and hurried out of the kitchen. Meanwhile, I stayed behind for a moment so that I could collect my thoughts.Nathanial bought a house. Holy shit. I walked out of the kitchen, wondering if I should be thrilled or angry about this. But I didn’t even have the chance to process.
Because Ben was here.
CHAPTER 23:
NATHANIAL
Ellie’s brother was here. All day long I’d kind of been wondering if he might break down and finally come home. It didn’t matter who you were, nobody wanted to feel alone on Christmas. When I spoke to him before leaving California, we’d spoken about this day. Maybe whatever I’d said had gotten through to him, helped him realize that he needed to be here no matter what the consequences were. Whatever his reasons for coming home, he was here now. And it was like a scene straight out of a holiday movie.
Ellie’s mom was crying, kind of hysterically. The grandparents were hugging each other and praising Jesus. Wade—Ellie’s father—was talking to his son, while awkwardly holding my cat. Yes, my cat was here. Because Ben hadn’t shown up alone. He’d shown up with Mrs. Stone. I assumed he hadn’t wanted to leave her on Christmas and had brought her along for that reason. Apparently, my cat had to come too.
But I wasn’t worried about any of that. I was worried about Ellie. Because when she came out of the kitchen, a minute or two after her mother, there was a look of fear on her face that hit me like a punch in the stomach. Her eyes connected with mine from across the room and I knew. Susan had told her she was my realtor and that I’d bought a house in town. Had that decision pushed Ellie too far? Was all of this too much too soon?
“Ellie,” I said, leaving my place at the table, trying to cut through the crowded room to get to her.
“Not now,” she snapped, her anger apparent as she turned in the opposite direction. She disappeared down the steps that led to the basement—not even her brother, miraculously back from the dead, had kept her from staying in the same room I was in.
I didn’t know what to do. I’d never seen her look at me like that. Was I supposed to chase her or let her cool down? Clinching my fists, I just sort of rocked on the balls of my feet—doing nothing. My stomach felt hallow. My heart felt frantic. The room started spinning.
“I’m not sure what you did,” Noah said, suddenly by my side. “But here are some words of advice that Ellie told me once. If you’re not one-hundred percent sure of your feelings, right now, then you need to end everything before it goes any further.”
“I’m sure of my feelings. I’m in love with her,” I quickly retorted.
“Then what are you waiting for? Go after her.”
Not hesitating another second, I hurried down the steps to the basement. She wasn’t inside, so I rushed outside. The wind hit me like a slap in the face. Dammit, it was cold and Ellie especially hated the cold. What was she thinking? Racing across her driveway, I checked her car. She wasn’t there either. Shit, now I was starting to panic.
“Ellie,” I screamed into the black night air.
No answer
There was a skinny, wooden path that cut through the
sand dunes and led in the direction of the ocean. Unsure where else to look, I sprinted down that path. There weren’t any lights and it was cloudy out tonight—the moon hidden in the sky—so when I came to the end of that boardwalk, I couldn’t see in the pitch black and nearly collided with a person.
“Ellie,” I gasped, stopping in front of her. “What are you doing?”
“Well, I thought I’d get some fresh air. But it’s fucking freezing out here. What are you doing? Why aren’t you inside?” Her teeth clattered as she spoke.
“I was looking for you.”
“Oh. I’m fine now. We should go back.” Crossing her arms tightly over her chest, she tried to walk around me, but the path was narrow and my body blocked her way.
“I love you,” I blurted out. Not exactly poetic, and probably just another thing that would push her away, but I couldn’t hold in the words a moment longer. She stopped trying to walk past me, but she didn’t respond to my words.
“And I bought a house,” I continued, rambling like a fool. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, but my plan was to show it to you tomorrow morning. It wasn’t in great condition when I bought it and it has taken me this whole time to get it ready. So…is this all happening really fast? Maybe, but I don’t care. It feels right to me. It feels like nothing I’ve ever experienced. I’m not asking you to move in with me—although I wouldn’t be opposed to it if you wanted to. All I’m trying to say is that…I don’t need the next three months to figure out my feelings. I know I love you. I already know I want this to last indefinitely. And I already know that when filming for season three ofDragon Wars starts again, in the middle of God knows where, I want to bring you with me. So if this is completely one-sided and if you—”
Changing Tides (Kill Devil Hills Book 2) Page 18