“Come on, Mase, you’re first. Show me what you’ve got.”
Alphas didn’t fight mock battles. Usually they had trouble controlling the part of their brain that had to win at all costs. I was older than most alphas. My control, when I used it, could easily handle a cat claw or two. Mase looked scared to death as he walked forward.
I’m sure my grumbled, “I’m waiting,” didn’t help him.
He made a half-assed attempt to push me aside and it didn’t work. Then he looked ready to run and hide. “You defended your woman and child against me. By doing so, you saved your life. That’s what I’m looking for.” I added a growl to my commanding words.
His eyes went to my legs right before he went for them. A moment later, he gazed up at me from the ground, looking less petrified. I put my hand out and helped him stand.
“You want to try again without giving away your intent?”
This time I received a little added eye contact. “Will the outcome be any different?” he asked with complete seriousness.
“Doubtful.”
He ended up on the ground three more times before I called Treson. He was young and a little more willing to take me on. Each time he scrambled up from a prone position, his smile grew. He was having fun, and when I looked around at my pack, and hopefully future pack mates, a part of me thawed. Their smell wasn’t as bad. Hell it wasn’t bad at all and their scent had me thinking of Talya. I needed to end this quickly and find her to apologize yet again.
Without hatred dripping from my pores, the cats appeared more relaxed. Jasper could barely contain himself as he jumped up and down while holding his mother’s hand. The only sour face was Rondy’s.
“Last try, and then it’s the kid’s turn.”
I flipped Treson over my shoulder much like Talya did me. He got up laughing and slapped Rondy on the back. “Make us proud,” he said as Rondy walked into the circle.
The kid was angry, but he kept his tone level when he addressed me, “I owe you for last night.” He had no trouble staring into my eyes.
“Take your best shot.” I stepped closer and placed my hands at my sides. One of the females made a distressed noise. Rondy took a boxing stance and swung. I didn’t move. The blow hit my jaw and mouth. It didn’t exactly hurt, but it wasn’t a butterfly’s touch either.
I wiped blood from my lip. “Feel better?”
Rondy massaged his hand. “No, it hurts like hell. Is there steel under your skin along with the odor of smelly dog?”
I had to laugh. The kid had balls. “Don’t think I’ll be giving you another free shot.” He wanted a bit of steel, so I made sure there was no mistaking the tone of my voice. “Stay several feet away from my mate. My wolf is hard to control where she’s concerned and we wouldn’t want more accidents.” I walked away. And then instead of finding Talya, I ran while trying to work out this new feeling I was experiencing. I wanted a pack… this pack.
***
Talya
The bastard stayed away for four days. Becca assured me he was coming back. His excuse was hunting the poachers. But everyone knew the truth. He hated me.
Each night I slept in his room. I breathed his scent deeply into my lungs because it’s all I had. I held my tears inside, but my anger grew daily.
We finished organizing the house and adding the finishing touches to make it a home. With the guardrail up on the stairs, they were easier for Cecily to climb, but she still took each step slowly. At the end of the day she was weary and went to bed early. Then she’d be up with the sun each morning ready to go.
Rondy stayed away from me as much as possible. The women told me Ivan made it clear to Rondy to keep his distance. It pissed me off that Ivan wasn’t here and I didn’t even have my friend to talk to. But then again, what would I say to him? I missed Ivan. My cat wanted to fuck his brains out. Yeah, like that would go over well with Rondy.
The pitying looks from the women didn’t help either. Each afternoon I took it out on them. They were a sore substitute for who I really wanted to hurt. I gave the females credit, though; they came back for more training every time.
Without Ivan around, they shifted to cat form more often. That was another reason I was pissed off. The pack needed their alpha and it was time for Mase and his crew to put up or shut up. They were with us or they needed to leave. Bottom line was we needed Ivan here.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Ivan
By the third day there was still no sign of the poachers. I was sick of the swamp, mosquitoes, and my wet dog odor. It rained each afternoon, making the ground soggy and life miserable.
The lure of home called me. My wolf laughed. There was only one comfort he wanted. He wasn’t laughing at my blue balls, though. To top off an all-around shitty three days, I finally masturbated and ended up with a mosquito bite on my balls. Fucking bloodsucker didn’t even give me a thank you after he got his.
That night I slept in an uncomfortable, moss-covered tree and almost fell out when my dreams of fucking Talya had me grabbing for her and finding thin air. That was it. I couldn’t stay away any longer. Me, and my itchy balls, needed to go home.
It was early afternoon by the time I made it back. I didn’t bother waking The Moor and telling him of my return. I’d pretty much ignored him since leaving. I expected him to do his pop-in routine while I combed the swamp, but he left me alone after a few grumpy replies to his bullshit.
I opened the front door to a quiet house. A few steps in and I heard sounds from the courtyard. I headed to the shower in my room. Talya’s scent filled the bedroom and I had to stop and take a few deep breaths. When it didn’t help my irritable mood, I washed four days of grime away in the hottest water I could stand. I dressed and headed out to find my mate, still wanting to punch someone.
Talya and Mase were fighting an intense mock battle. I watched the two of them twist and tumble in a flowing dance of offense and defense. Talya could fight. She could also take a punch and that caused my second problem. He was too close and he caused her pain. Fur and muscle split the sweats I’d put on. I barely noticed anyone when I exploded into the center of their circle. Mase went flying and I was on him before he had a chance to defend himself. I saw red and wanted his blood soaking my muzzle.
The kick to my jaw had me turning bared fangs only to discover Talya. She whipped her shirt over her head then kicked out of her sweatpants. Her fur burst as she flew at me. I rolled with her teeth deeply embedded in my shoulder. Her sharp claws made it through my coat and burning heat filled the gash.
The world came back into focus.
I shifted and tried rolling again to dislodge her. For a second I thought she’d rip my arm off. I gained my feet and took a step back from her bloody teeth. I let my power go. Beastkind fell to the ground.
Talya shifted against the tide of my energy and started screaming, “You fucking prick. The babies. How could you?”
I sucked back the power, pulling it in faster than I ever had. I’d fucked up badly. Not that it would cause lasting injury to the children, but it hurt them. Wolves did not hurt the young. Deeply ingrained inside of us, it separated the wolves from the cats.
I heard the baby cry and Jasper’s loud wails. The roar erupted from my human vocal cords. The women pulled the children beneath them as they all went to the ground. Mase stayed hunched in a ball. Cecily and Rondy were the only ones standing besides Talya.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
I turned my back on her and walked over to Mase and helped him rise. From the corner of my eye, I saw Talya helping the women. She took the baby into her arms and rocked her until her cries became soft whimpers.
I stared at Talya until she lifted her head and made eye contact. Fear. For the first time I read it clearly in her eyes. I left the courtyard and ran up the steps to The Moor’s rooms. I threw open the door expecting to catch him asleep, but he was sitting in a large comfortable chair facing me.
“Becca is grabbing the first aid kit from the bathroom. I
’ll be damned if I’m helping you heal a much-needed bite from your mate. Please tell me her teeth marks are on your ass.”
I dropped to my knees. I couldn’t open my mouth and get the words out. I spoke silently into his head. “I’m dangerous. You must end this.”
His long sigh filled my mind. “If I actually thought that I’d have ended your life long ago.”
Becca touched the back of my head and I recoiled, but she didn’t lift her hand. “I will clean your wounds, Ivan. If you don’t stay still I’ll have my mate sit on you.” There was no humor in her voice.
“Why do either of you trust me? I can’t control my wolf. It’s past time for my life to end.”
The Moor stood and his hand went to my throat tilting my head up. “The beast is simple. It wants food, security, and sex. The man is more complex, and it’s never been your beast I’ve worried about. You left your mate at the height of the mating frenzy. What did you think would happen?”
He didn’t allow me to answer.
“I’ve sent word to Mase and they are preparing the old cabin for you and Talya. I don’t wish to hear from either of you for two days. Test me, Ivan, and you’ll find yourself in a feral cage for the next month.”
Becca finished washing my wounds and The Moor handed me a pair of sweatpants. He had no idea what he was doing. Talya would be the one to suffer. I left the room and gathered my clothes from my bedroom. I walked to the cabins and saw the door to the one The Moor and Becca shared standing open. I entered, but knew Talya wasn’t there without needing to look around. Chances were good she was running back to Nicolas and Zenya. I sat in the wooden chair at the table and stared at the wall.
“I can’t do this, Alba. I can’t fucking allow your memory to fade more than it has. I love you.”
“Then tell me about her, Ivan. Tell me how much you loved her and why losing her is so painful. You owe me that.” Talya stood in the doorway. Somehow my thoughts invaded hers.
I buried my head in my arms unable to speak. The old bed made a sound of protest and when I finally lifted my head, Talya was curled in a tight ball beneath the covers. I looked around at our home for the next two days. Canned food sat on a shelf. It wasn’t much, but we could hunt.
We. I hadn’t used the word in a long time.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Talya
I was so incredibly tired because I hadn’t slept since Ivan left. I’d stared up at the ceiling above Ivan’s bed each night. It was all I could do to drag myself through the following day. I barely met anyone’s eyes. I didn’t think my shame could exceed what I felt the past few days. Hearing Ivan’s words to Alba tipped the scale.
The cabin remained silent over the next hour. Then I heard the rattle of a pan. A while later, the smell of chili reminded me of my first meal with Rondy. Why couldn’t my beast call to a human boy and find peace? Everything would be so much easier if the Goddess didn’t play with our lives.
“Come to the table and eat, Talya.”
I lay on the bed for a few more minutes. Ivan didn’t ask again. My stomach growled, which had me pushing back the covers and taking a seat across from him.
We ate in silence. I couldn’t taste the food. When we finished, I took the bowls to the sink and washed them. I looked at the bed and wanted nothing more than to crawl back beneath the covers. “This won’t work,” I said into the quiet room.
I felt the heat of Ivan’s body at my back before his arms closed around me. His chin settled on my shoulder. “We have two days. We can fight and hurt each other or we can try to pass the time and learn about each other.”
He was crazy. “I asked about her, Ivan. What more can I do? I want to hate you, but I can’t. I want to hate Alba, but I can’t do that either.” His arms tightened at the mention of her name. “I’ve been hated most of my life. Cold, hateful eyes glaring at me thinking I’m worthless. I lived with it each day and it wasn’t just the men. The women hated me too. I deserved their hatred and I’m sure for at least one of my many sins, I deserve yours.”
I couldn’t stop the tears. Ivan pulled me into his solid chest and I cried harder. This was so unfair to both of us, and I wanted to be anywhere but here. When my tears didn’t slow, he picked me up and carried me to the bed.
“Shh,” he said as he pulled my hair out of my face and used the sheet to wipe my tears. “Our beasts don’t understand the conflicts we suffer. Maybe for the next two days we should let them have their way.” He kissed my temple. “I’m willing to try. I’m not exactly keen on killing one of our possible pack mates. And I hate not having control. When he hit you, I couldn’t contain my beast. That makes me very dangerous and somehow we need to find a way past this all-consuming rage I feel at just the thought of a male being near you or someone hurting you.”
His eyes carried the tears he would not cry. It was so heartbreaking. I lifted my head and kissed him. He didn’t move and I almost pulled away. His hand trailed down my face and stopped at my shoulder. I opened my eyes and gazed into his.
His husky voice filled me with longing. “I want you, Talya.”
The wanting pushed the hate aside, but I knew it was still there. Could I exist with both? My cat purred. My inner thighs ached and my nipples grew hard. For two days I could try and then I would make some big decisions. But right now we needed this time together. It might be all we would ever have.
I lay my hand on his and squeezed before moving it to my breast. He gave me a tender smile. I bowed my back when he pinched my nipple.
“You like that?” he whispered against my lips.
“Yes,” I said on a moan. “Please, Ivan, make me forget. Give me memories to replace the emptiness.”
He sat up and slowly removed my clothes. His fingers skimmed my flesh, sometimes gently and other times using his nails. His scent filled me as I waited for his body to do the same. Ivan had different ideas. He kissed my breasts, adding small bites to my nipples. It didn’t hurt, but the ache between my legs grew stronger. He kissed lower, placing his tongue in my bellybutton and earning a laugh that ended with a groan as he moved lower.
With all my experience this was something no man had ever given me. My breath hitched when he found my center. Now I wanted to cry again. He quickly went from tender exploration, to stoking the fire causing a blazing burn.
His finger slid inside me and I inhaled sharply as he moved his thumb against the nub that wanted more attention. I whimpered. He added another finger and moved at a steady rhythm that was driving me mad. When he finally sucked the nub past his teeth, I gave a half moan and partial cry.
“Let go, Talya.” The whispered words breathed against my flesh and I bucked my hips. “So beautiful. Let go.” He lowered his head again and added a bit of teeth to the suction. It was all I could handle. The waves of release rolled from my center outward. “That’s it,” he said as I rode the sensation, pushing against him with my hips.
When I came down from the glorious high and opened my eyes, he watched me. I could feel heat rise to my cheeks and I lifted my hand to cover my face.
“No,” he said as he took my hand and pushed it back against the mattress. “You’re beautiful. Don’t hide from me.”
My brain was not quite processing yet. “Thank you,” slipped out.
Ivan smiled. For the first time, I saw the man he once was. He carried his alpha effortlessly, but the man was in there. It surprised me when he moved up my body and took my mouth in another kiss. One he controlled. He slipped out of his sweatpants without ending the kiss. He smiled against my lips, and I smiled back until his tongue and teeth took over. His hands ran across my skin, rekindling the fire inside of me. Sex had always been a tool. With Ivan it was an adventure—a sweet and dirty journey.
He pressed between my legs and I opened to him without fear or revulsion. Our skin was slick with sweat as our bodies rocked together. The heat rose within me. It was easier to let go this time and enjoy the sensation of my body’s release. Ivan stiffened and I open
ed my eyes. His head was back, his jaw tense as his essence filled my core. His arms relaxed and he lowered himself against me.
I didn’t care that it was hot in the stuffy room. I never wanted him to move. I could die happy beneath his hard body. He rolled and I gave a loud sigh of objection. He pulled me over so I was on top of him. I peeked up and met his eyes. “We have two days to get it right.”
What? “That wasn’t right?”
His deep laugh filled the small cabin. He hugged me close. “That was perfect. Thank you.”
He’d repeated my words and a warm fuzzy feeling took hold of me. I settled against his chest and we fell asleep.
The sun was down when I woke to him playing with a strand of my hair. “I know you’re tired, but I’d like to hunt. Wanna go?”
Even smelling like sex with an ache and stickiness between my thighs, I’d never turn down a hunt. We went outside and shifted. To hunt with him was something I never expected. I missed our pack hunts with Nicolas.
“Can we take down something large?” I asked as we entered the dense trees.
“I saw boar tracks a few miles away. Is that big enough for you?”
“Lead the way.” He took off and I ran hard to keep up with him. “Did you find the poachers?”
His sudden anger shot into my brain. “No. I found no sign of them. If we’re lucky they won’t be back.”
“You don’t think we’ll be lucky, though, do you?”
“Not a chance in hell. They aren’t using guns, so I can’t hear when they kill a gator. They only skin one or two each time, so they’re in and out quickly. They collect about three hundred dollars per skin. There are only two of them, so if they hit us twice a week they’re probably doubling their weekly take-home pay. I could be wrong, but I think they have day jobs and use our gators as supplemental income. They aren’t too greedy and they need sleep. It makes it harder to catch them, but I will.”
Fang Chronicles: Ivan Page 17