by Shae Black
“Yes, I have work to do, I can keep busy.” I feel awkward now that I’m actually leaving, should I kiss him goodbye in front of Maria? She’s bustling around removing our dishes as soon as the last bite has been taken. This thing between us is so strange I don’t know how to act, so I simply turn and say goodbye.
“Ok…so I’ll see you tonight?”
“Yes.” And that’s it, I leave the dining room and walk right out the front door. That was too easy for him, and too hard for me. I feel the disconnect as soon as I’m in the front drive. I am leaving an important part of me behind when I leave this man. Marcus has become my home, not his house but him. His presence is as vital to my survival as oxygen or water.
Chapter 21
It feels like a lifetime since I’ve been home…or to my home rather. I crank the radio; I miss the constant presence of music in my life. Imagine Dragon’s Radioactive fills the car, and I sing along until I’m home. The moment I turn the key in the lock of my apartment and step inside it’s different. I don’t feel like I belong here anymore, even surrounded by pictures of my family, my furniture, the throw on the back of the couch, none of it feels like home. How can one man encompass my whole life in a few short weeks? Surely this isn’t how love is supposed to be, unbalanced, desperate, and tenacious. Tutting to myself, I shuffle back to the closet and grab an overnight bag stuffing it with clothes, shoes and toiletries for my week at Marcus’s. The light fixture I made for him is safely wrapped in a cocoon of bubble wrap on my bed, along with the Vase Dax gave to me. Using some of the clothes I’m packing, I wrap the vase in the soft material and place it safely inside my duffle bag. I dial my sister’s number, and she answers on the first ring. “Imani!” She hollers with excitement damn it’s so good to be loved and missed.
“Hey sis, you home? I thought I’d stop by- I’m missing my niece and nephew.” “Oh yea? How bout your ol sister, no love for me?” “Oh yea I miss my sister too, whoops sorry.” I tease.
“Yea yea I see how ya are. Come on over they’re messin round in the play room an girl they always wanna see their aunty Imani!” “Ok, be there in a bit.”
“Imani?”
“Yea?”
“You alright…with the job and stuff?”
“Yea, I’ll tell you about it when I get there.”
“Ok, see ya,” she says. I know she’s worried about the unexpected change in my career; if she only knew. When I have the car packed up I set out to spend time with my family.
Pulling up in front of Latoya’s house my two favorite angels come barreling out the front door with no shoes or coats on. “Imani, Imani, Imani!!” Kimmie squeals as they both attack me and almost knock me to the ground. “We missed you so much, why didn’t you come last week?” Dante whines.
“Sorry babe, I have a new job and it took up a lot of time.”
Latoya appears at the door as the three of us approach, both kids hanging on my sides. “Kimmie, Carl let her go! It’s cold out here, get inside, hurry up now!” Just inside the front door she hugs me, and I hold on a little longer than usual. I bite my lip hard to suppress the tears that have sprung to my eyes. When we part I realize how bad I need to talk to someone about this whole situation. Latoya takes my hand, leading me to the kitchen not noticing my struggle…. thank God.
The kids shadow me, chatting endlessly about school, dance lessons, sports, all the things little kids are involved in, and I listen intently with genuine interest, I love these two so much. “Hey, why aren’t you in school today?” I ask.
“No school today we got conferences.” Dante replies with an ear-to-ear smile.
“Ahh, well I’m glad your home so I get to see you. Hey guys can you go set up a game while your mommy and I talk for a few minutes?”
“Ooooo yea, can we play Chutes and Ladders?!” Kimmie asks.
“That’s a baby game, I ain’t playing that!” Dante protests.
“How about one game of Chutes and Ladders and one of whatever you want Carl, sound good?”
“Yea, come on Kimmie.” I watch their little heads bob up and down as they retreat to the playroom to find their games.
“Want some coffee?” Latoya asks.
“Sure.”
“Spill,” she says sharply.
“What?”
“Girl you’re a hot mess, I see it, what’s up with you?” Ok, so maybe she did notice me fighting the tears.
“Ok, I’ll start, how’d this shit start? I know you love workin that ICU, and now you’re doin home care?!” she says ‘home care’ like they’re dirty words.
“What’s wrong with home care? It’s not exactly home care anyway…more like private care.” Ha that’s funny. No way am I telling her exactly how private!
“So…private care ok, ok, whatever. Why does this guy need private care?”
“I can’t give specifics, you know HIPPA and all that, but it was a serious accident and he needs help at home.”
“So …why’s it gotta be you? You drop everything in your life and go out in left field doing private care, somethin’s not right about that.” she says with lifted eyebrows.
“I can still go back to the hospital. It’s in my contract. The reason I left… it’s complicated. I’ve been going out of my mind trying to figure him out, he’s different….” I trail off, unsure of the boundaries I’m able to cross without violating Marcus’s confidentiality.
“You like him! Oh good God in heaven you do, look at you! You never blush, ha!” And I can feel the heat creeping up my neck to my face- shit, why does my body betray me so easily? I nod my head, confirming her accusation. “Imani…you never wanted a man, I can’t believe this!”
“Yea me either, I’d pretty much sworn off them for eternity, but, he needs me, and for some reason I need him too.”
Latoya takes a big breath and holds it for a few seconds, before blowing it out dramatically. “Wow. This is it huh? You found your guy, he was out there just waitin for ya after all. Prince charming, oh naw wait, sleeping beauty.” She laughs. “You did say he was in a coma didn’t you?” She’s such a romantic; leave it to Latoya to make a fairy tale out of this potential nightmare.
“I wouldn’t go that far, he’s got issues, and some I’m not sure I can handle.”
“You have issues Imani, big ones. You can’t live your life like you think it’s supposed to be, people are fucking messy and confusin but they’re also beautiful and strong. Take the good with the bad girl.” When the hell did she switch to team Marcus? “Man Latoya, what’s your deal? I’ve never heard you talk so passionately about someone you’ve never met.” She scoots my coffee across the island, and when I reach for it she covers my hand with hers. “I want you to have somebody, I hate you being alone. You got dealt a shitty hand sis; I know what you went through was really bad; well not really I guess. But if there is something with this guy I say choose love.” Love? I have no idea if that’s what I feel for him- electricity, undeniable physical attraction yes, but love?
“Thanks, for caring about me I mean, I never knew you worried about that so much, I figured you were comfortable with my choices.”
“Aw Imani, it’s not just me, the whole family worries bout you. Nobody wants to bring up the past though so they don’t say anything. We love you girl we want you to be happy.
“Don’t get your hopes up too high sis, I’m not supposed to talk about his medical condition, but we’re personally involved as well and I need to talk to somebody about it…he has a head injury from a car accident. I’m worried about the effects.”
“What kinda effects?”
“Well…I’ve met a few of his employees, his right hand man in business, and his sister.” “Yea…. and?”
“And, they all seem really, really, afraid of him- not the normal respect-for-your-boss type of thing, but fear. And then there’s his sister, something is weird there- she came to sit with him every day before he woke up from a coma but she hasn’t been seen since, no call to check up on him or an
ything.”
“Yea that’s weird. What about you? What kinda vibe you gettin from him?”
“From what I know, and how he treats me he’s cocky, bossy but vulnerable, gentle and sexy as hell!”
“Well I don’t see a problem then. Go fur it, if he treats you good nothin else matters right?” “Well yea but he has blackouts that worry me, and mood swings. I’m so afraid I’ll wake up someday and he won’t be… him. What if the Marcus I know isn’t the real Marcus Castillo? What if he’s an evil sadistic bastard?”
Latoya shakes her head. “Lemme break it down here real simple for ya, that shit can happen with any man not just your coma boyfriend, there’s no guarantees in life sis, it might happen, but it might not. But thing is ya can’t give up before ya even start.”
“Yea I know it’s just insane; I have all these new feelings, they scare the shit out of me. He could wake up one day and be a horrible person.”
“Or he may stay like he is right now, life’s all about risks. It’s a huge one I know, but ya gotta get out there an live, we’re here if you need us you know that.”
I smile at her and drink my coffee. “Thanks.”
“For what?”
“For loving me, and for the advice, I was going bonkers with all this, it feels good to get someone else’s prospective.”
“That’s what family’s for honey, so tell me more bout this hot man!” We talk and laugh, then I Google Marcus so she can see what he looks like, and as I predicted she freaks. I play board games with the kids and after a while I feel myself coming back. The me I’m familiar with, not the crazy me I’ve become since Marcus arrived in my life.
My phone beeps in my pocket alerting me of an incoming text and I slide it out to check them. Along with several from Laney I have a few from my other friends but the one I just received is from Marcus. I didn’t put his number in my phone, but his beautiful brooding face shows up on the screen with the unfamiliar number. Are you almost done? I’m missing you; I think I need some medical attention, M. My tummy flutters at the thought of him sitting around texting that he’s missing me. The nagging feeling of rejection I had this morning dissipates instantly. So stupid, I’m going to drive myself nuts trying to figure him out. At my sisters, finishing up- will be there soon, and what kind of medical attention are you in need of? T ;) His response is immediate. It’s an urgent issue that needs immediate attention. Smiling, I shoot a return message. Be there STAT!
My sister is eyeing me…”That him?” she asks.
“Yep.”
“Your face lit up like a Christmas tree, better get your ass back to work,” she teases.
“Yea, he’s asking when I’ll be back. See you soon?”
“Course, I’m always here, just call.” I hug them all good-bye and head out; amazed at what a difference a few hours with your family can make. I purposely crank the music in the car to distract myself from the building anticipation of seeing him again. I’m 99% sure his medical attention request will be much to my advantage, so peddle to the floor, I speed to close the gap between us.
Chapter 22
When I pull into the driveway a new situation presents itself I wonder if I should knock or just let myself in? Not to worry though that question is answered for me when Mr. Black appears at the front door. “May I get your bags Ms. Jefferson?” He is so formal and stuffy, and the fact that I now need a room in Marcus’s house really irritates me, he was right and I suspect his presence right now is a passive aggressive dig on me. I really hate being proven wrong but this time I’m going to have to roll with it.
“Sure, just the one bag and a box, and please be careful, there’s glass in both,” When I tell him this a tiny frown puckers between his brows.
“Glass?”
“Yes, a gift, something I made, I’m a glass blower.” Why does explaining myself to this man aggravate me so much?
“I see, would you like it in your room?” He asks. Ugh! He’s definitely trying to make a point. “Yea, sure.” He accompanies me inside and when we pass the doors to Marcus’s office he nods in it’s direction.
“He’s working but he asked me to have you wait for him in your room.” Oh really…wait in my room, huh? Must not be much of an emergency after all. I don’t want to interrupt him though, so I take my bag from Mr. Black and make my way through the living room, Mr. Black on my heels carrying the box. The doors to my room are closed, that’s a first. Marcus has a thing about keeping doors open and lights on, I wonder sometimes if he’s a little paranoid. Mr. Black sets my box down in the living room and leaves without so much as a goodbye, whatever. I open one of the double doors and instantly I’m hit with the heavy, fragrant smell of roses.
Frozen on the threshold, I blink repeatedly to be sure I’m seeing correctly. Lavender, purple and white roses fill the room, every available surface is covered with vases, hundreds of them everywhere. The dresser, night tables, they’re even floor vases covering ever inch of space between pieces of furniture. Each vase holds 2-3 dozen roses. My mouth drops open in shock, and I don’t hear his approach from behind. Even with the clacking of crutches, I’m so focused on the floral explosion in front of me that all sounds have been tuned out. His hand reaches around from behind me to close my mouth from under my chin. “My favorite color flowers for my favorite woman,” he whispers in my ear. Resting his chin on my shoulder he snakes his hands around my waist while leaning on the crutches, one palm flat on my belly holding me flush against him, the other sliding between my legs. Even through my jeans his touch is scorching hot and an electric jolt shoots from my chest directly to my core. His warm breath on my neck gives me goose bumps. That mouth that I love is working his way up to my ear, nibbling, licking and finally biting my ear lobe hard enough to make me gasp. Softly he sucks it to sooth the pain. Marcus moans softly in my ear as he shifts his weight on the crutches to press his hard arousal against my backside. “I only let you leave so easily this morning so that I could spoil you rotten when you returned.” “And I take it the medical attention that you requested involves this?” I say, pressing my ass against his cock, but gently worrying that I may knock him off balance if I’m too forceful. “Mmmhmm,” he agrees.
“They’re so beautiful…what’s with you and purple?” I ask, trying to control my breathing unsuccessfully; he has to know I’m utterly turned on, my voice is shaky easily giving me away.
“Historically it is related to royalty and love, it represents wealth, passion and luxury. I like it, what can I say?”
“Duke…. right, you said you were a Duke?”
“In title only by lineage, yes.”
“Well Duke I think we should get you off your feet.”
“I agree, I was beginning to think you were going to make me stand here forever.” I turn in his arms. “ In your room or in here?” I ask. “In here.”
“Ok…. door shut?”
“Yes, and lock it.” Ok he must mean business if we’re locking the door. I immediately move on weak knees to close and lock the doors to my room. Searching for a place that’s not covered in flowers to set my bag, I find no such place exists so I open the closet and tuck it inside. I can feel him moving around behind me surprisingly quiet for a man on crutches. The room is dim; the sun has set, the only light coming from small lamps on the night tables. Marcus stands next to the bed and gestures for me to join him. I try to relax and saunter over but he stops me cold with the smirk that I’ve grown to adore, it spreads across his face and I know without a doubt in that moment this man owns my heart, I would do anything he asked, go anywhere, give him anything he wanted…. without question…anything. “Come closer, tell me about your day.” he purrs reaching out to pull me into the Marcus fog. He towers over me as he sits me on the edge of the bed between his knees. I don’t think he really cares about my day right now so I simply answer. “Fine.” I feel a little faint, he does that to me, his very presence is so overwhelming that my body literally has trouble adjusting to it. “Lay back,” he order
s gently and I obey not only because I want to but because I fear fainting. My vision is becoming tunneled and his voice wanes, “Imani, are you ok?” he asks with concern on his face and in his voice.
“Yea…you know how I get…I’ll be ok.” And just like that I am…so much more than ok, how could I be so lucky to have this heavenly man standing over me, treasuring me, adoring me? Could it be Karma balancing the universe? All the terror I’ve experienced in my life and my choosing to care for others as a profession has earned me the most beautiful dominant man alive? Finally my body and mind have been freed of mistrust, walls that used to protect me from pain and hurt have been destroyed beyond recognition.
Closing his eyes he takes a deep, shaky breath as if he’s trying to reign in his control. Marcus rests both hands on my knees, crutches still supporting him under his arms. The bed is so high off the floor that my body is aligned perfectly with his. “If I was not being held back by this fucking cast I would worry about hurting you right now. You are so damn beautiful, the day this thing is cut off you really need to be prepared,” He growls. I reach down and unbutton my jeans with trembling fingers, and without losing eye contact I work them off, raising my hips and bending my knees I wiggle them off while he hisses between clenched teeth dropping his head back to look at the ceiling. “Fuck Imani…you’re killing me here, I’m going to bury myself so deep inside of you…” Now it’s my turn to smirk while I pull my shirt over my head and remove my bra, completely bare to him, I offer myself with absolutely no inhibitions. Sitting up I gather the hem of his shirt and raise it over his head while he balances on one foot, crutches propped at the edge of the bed now. I hurry to unfasten his jeans and push them down so he won’t have to balance for long. Not that it matters; he has incredible muscle control I bet he could stand there all damn night. His muscles flex keeping him steady and a shiver runs through my body when I imagine what he will do to me when he’s at full capacity.