“’Allo?”
“Lena? It’s Kate.”
“Kat-ey! ’Ow are you, dahling?”
“I have a favour to ask. Can I send a client over to have a smoke on your balcony? It’s so lovely out.”
“Why of course, of course.”
“I’ll send him over.” She hung up.
“There. Across the hall, my neighbour Lena has a bit of balcony you can access through a French window. The view will be great today.” She grinned at Eli, who was grinning back, clearly pleased with the prospect. “She’s expecting you. I’ll forewarn you, though, she’s eccentric.” She twitched cautioning eyebrows.
Eli moved to the door. D'arcy stood up and scurried after him, conspiratorially. “I want to come, too.”
“Are you hungry, D'arcy?”
“Well. We’re always hungry, you know.” She rubbed her belly with a sheepish smile. She had finally given up attempting to hide her pregnancy, and now wore a snug fitting black sweater with a narrow band of fur trim, and wide trousers with high-heeled boots.
Eli and D'arcy went to the yellow door.
“Take your coats, you two, it’s cold out there. And don’t be too long. I’ll see what I can find to eat. I didn’t expect us to take so long today. Sharon, Simon, what about you?”
“I can always eat, but don’t trouble yourself,” he quirked that self-deprecating, one-sided smile that made Kate’s heart melt. “But I’ve got to call the office if I’m staying longer today.” He pulled out his cell phone and drifted over to the far side of the room.
“I really must talk to a couple of clients, too, Kate,” said Sharon, glancing around hopefully, peering down the corridor towards Kate’s bedroom.
“Um, do you need privacy?” Kate gestured toward the closed door.
Sharon nodded, “Yes. Ideally. Would you mind?” She grudgingly smiled her thanks, darted a suspicious glance after Simon, and headed toward the closed door, already dialing.
“Just hold on one sec,” Kate said, chasing her. “I’ll check if it needs tidying. It’s my private space.” Egad. She’d never been in this situation before. Did she really want Sharon poking around in her bedroom?
Sharon paused her dialing and waited expectantly by the large window while Kate ducked into her bedroom. She cringed. Of course she never tidied here. No one ever came in, least of all work colleagues or clients. Even the decor and color scheme here was different… personal. The rumpled, unmade bed looked like sand dunes at sunrise, the blend of mauve, peach and pale gold soothing and feminine against the carved antique headboard and soft grey walls. It was a side of her that few people saw.
She kicked a litter of discarded clothing and shoes into her closet and closed the door, and raked a couple handfuls of freshly laundered bras and underwear from the bed to shove them into her bureau drawer, sliding the drawer shut with the side of her leg while she scanned the room. Jeez! She scooped and dumped loose cosmetics into a bag, catching a glimpse of her harried self in the beveled oval mirror, rolled her eyes, tucked her hair behind her ears before tugging and smoothing her duvet, plumping her pillows.
The slightly drooping bouquet of roses Jay had sent her still sat on the bedside table, dropping wilted petals artfully, and she wished she’d kept his note to throw Sharon off the scent, but it was long gone. The entire operation took about three minutes. It was not perfect, but…
“Well?” Sharon’s head poked through the door.
“Okay. Excuse the mess. Come on in.” Kate glanced around one last time, trying to see her space with a stranger’s critical eye. Not terrible.
Leaving Sharon to her calls, Kate went into the kitchen, wondering what she could scrape together. At least she’d been to the bakery for some nice fresh bread. Maybe she could find something to make a few sandwiches. She rummaged through the fridge and pantry still puzzling over Simon, wondering if he could ever be happy in any relationship, given his predilection toward romantic idealism, and herself, with her utter terror of intimacy and rejection. It’s not as if I’m discontent with who I am as a person. She could happily live alone. But whenever there was the possibility of love, her history came back to haunt her. No amount of counseling could ever completely rid her of her trust issues. And now, in spite of her doubts, he claimed that he wanted to be with her again. Him! Simon. Her ghost and her nemesis. Her heart of hearts.
She was mixing mayonnaise into tuna, lost in thought, when she sensed him behind her. She stopped her movements, held her breath, but didn’t turn. He moved closer, she could hear his slow even breathing, smell his skin, warm and clean and masculine. Still he didn’t speak. Then she felt his warmth next to her body like the sun, radiating heat, and felt his hot breath on her neck.
He gently lifted her hair, and bent over her, inhaling deeply into the soft crook of her neck, sending a shiver through her, and then gently nuzzled her ear and neck with a small hungry sound deep in his throat, like a whispered moan. She sucked in her breath, and willed her heart to still its frantic beating.
“Simon… ” she sighed breathlessly.
“If you say my name like that, I won’t be held accountable.’’
“Is Sharon–?”
“Still in your room on the phone. I can hear her voice.”
She turned around to face him, pulling her neck out of his reach, but he moved even closer, and took her head between his hands, his startling clear blue eyes blazing into hers, captivating. Then he lowered his mouth hungrily onto hers. She heard a squeak, and a moan, and this time it was herself. How could she keep a clear head when her body was throbbing with the heat of his touch. Just when she thought she might slither, spineless to the floor, he released her, breathless.
“You can’t tell me you don’t feel anything for me, Kate,” he whispered against her mouth.
“I never said that.”
“We have to work through the fears and questions that are keeping us apart. I have to be with you. I know I promised, but–”
“No! We can’t… ” Her thoughts were scrambled. She had to stop…
“Yes, Kate. Shh.” He reached for her again, his hands at her back, tugging her into his body, hip to hip, his unspoken need darkening his eyes to indigo.
She forced herself back, shaking her head, and whispered helplessly. “Stop toying with me. You know I feel something. I can’t resist you. I can’t stop feeling…” Her hands formed tight fists to stop herself from pressing her hands against his muscled chest, and she felt her throat constrict with the pain of confusion and desire. With an iron will, she stiffened her spine and raised her chin in defiance of his power over her. “You mustn’t tease me when you’re still involved with someone else, that’s all. It’s cruel.”
His eyes widened. “Who am I involved with?” The wry smile returned to his face. It occurred to her in that moment, how much he had changed over the years. He was still the same Simon she knew and loved all those years ago, and yet, there were differences. His bones were more rugged though fine, and he carried himself with the same silky grace. His eyes, the same stunning sky blue, were wiser, creased at the corners. His smile, still teasing, still sardonic, was a little sadder. There were layers to Simon now, complexities, nuances. More to love… more to lose.
“You’re still married to Rachel, of course,” she whispered.
He laughed without sound, his unruly blond brows knitting. “I thought you started that rumour, to confuse Sharon.”
“It’s confusing me!”
“What is?”
“Please don’t treat me like an idiot. I saw you together… the whole family thing.” Why was she scolding? She had no right. She opened her hands, palms on his chest, patting and pushing him away at the same time. “But it’s good. She’s your wife. She’s Maddie’s mother. You should be with her. You don’t owe me anything. Just… just don’t mess me around.” She mixed her hands through the air.
Simon’s face registered his confusion and exasperation. He raised both hands, palm up, plea
ding. “She’s not my wife. Kate, I’m not seeing anyone else. I’m especially not seeing Rachel. You’ve got to be kidding. I’ll admit, I’ve dragged my heals with the divorce, but it’s only custody issues. I admit I want Maddie to have a mother. What’s wrong with that?”
Kate swatted away his arguments like gnats on a summer day. “I’m not capable of surviving a reckless affair. I can’t deal with it, especially with you.” She jabbed his chest with an angry finger. “Please respect my needs and stop playing with my feelings.”
“You’re out of your mind! Why are you throwing up obstacles between us? It's not rational. Haven’t I made myself clear? I’m not interested in light flirtations or affairs.” He gripped her shoulders, pulling her closer, bending his head to plant a tender kiss on her brow, and touch his forehead to hers. “Kate, I’ve fallen in love with you. I want to be with you. Only you.” Kate’s heart skipped a beat and her lips tingled. Her eyes, despite herself, were drawn to his mouth as he leaned toward her. She felt herself drawn to him.
The front door closed with a thud, and they heard a clatter of voices, feet and laughter, and both jumped back. Sharon was suddenly there too. How long had she been back from the bedroom? What had she heard? Kate’s eyes flew open in shock, her mind a whirl. Oh my God! With a strangled low sound, she grabbed the bowl of tuna salad and shoved it unceremoniously into Simon’s hands without explanation. He was going to have to think on his feet. She turned to the counter and pulled the bread out, preparing to make the sandwiches, her hands flying, the blood pounding so hard through her veins that her teeth were vibrating, her head hot with mortification.
Cool as summer linen, Simon turned to the open doorway, laughter in his voice. “Hey, you’re back. Hope you like tuna sandwiches, ‘cause that’s what you’re getting.” She heard the sound of the fork clattering against the sides of the bowl, as if he really had just been helping in the kitchen.
“Kate!” D’arcy’s voice sailed high, giddy. “Eccentric isn’t the word. That woman is downright peculiar!” She giggled.
“What did we miss?” Simon enquired, laughing obligingly.
“You wouldn’t believe the place,” Eli offered. “It’s piled to the rafters with brass Buddha’s and prayer beads, stacks of paper everywhere… Incredible. And Lena… wow.”
Kate pulled herself together, forcing a laugh and raising her voice. “I warned you guys. What do you expect from a woman who spends half of every year trekking around Nepal with a Sherpa, and the other half hermitted away with her mail order business?” The jarring odour of cold winter air, incense and cigarettes wafted about Eli and D'arcy as they shucked their coats and hung them up, snickering and whispering, heads together.
Kate stole a glance in Sharon’s direction. Fortunately, the upheaval seemed to have distracted Sharon, who was watching D'arcy and Eli curiously, intrigued by their adventure. If she’d seen or heard anything in the kitchen, she wasn’t letting on. Kate’s breathing slowed ever so slightly, and her pulse calmer.
“She’s lived quite the life. We almost had to stay there for lunch, she told stories…” D'arcy shook her head, meeting Eli’s eyes, sparkling with shared delight.
“Lunch will be ready soon,” said Simon, turning back to the kitchen, and looking into Kate’s eyes with silent laughter, communicating his shared embarrassment, affection, and so much more with the intensity of his starry gaze. The smile she’d forced onto her face fell away as she realized how much he could convey with those eyes, so much meant just for her.
Kate pointedly avoided his gaze while serving a platter of tuna sandwiches and coffee and more Christmas cookies. Once they were all seated, he turned, pensive and preoccupied, nibbling half-heartedly on his tuna sandwich, his glazed eyes fixed on the shimmering mirrored baubles slung across the Christmas tree in the middle of the room.
Kate tried to keep her attention on what D'arcy was saying. “ … hair dyed flaming red, who knows what colour it was… ”
“It’s probably snow white now. I’m sure she’s not a day under seventy.” Eli interrupted.
“I’m sure Lena’s not that old. I took her for sixty, maybe,” Kate said, incredulous.
“I’m not so sure. You should have heard some of the stories she was telling, of growing up in England,” Eli contradicted.
D'arcy shook her head vigourously, plucking another sandwich from the pile. “But she’s French. Surely she’s French, with that accent.”
“No, no, no. I think she’s originally from Bulgaria or someplace. She lived in France for many–”
“Good heavens, she sounds very colourful, anyway,” Sharon interjected. “And she actually makes a living importing statues of Buddha?”
“And you wouldn’t believe what else!” D'arcy exclaimed. “You really had to see the place to believe it Sharon. Piles of boxes and heaps of stuff. All sorts of religious artifacts from Tibet, China, India…”
“That would interest you, Simon, wouldn’t it?” Sharon turned to him, jogging him out of his personal train of thought.
“Hmm?” He blinked.
“What’s the matter? You don’t seem to have your usual appetite.” Sharon scowled at the half-eaten sandwich that hung suspended in his hand.
“Preoccupied, Sharon, that’s all.” He glared at her for a moment and shook his head. “Not hungry, I guess.” He set down his sandwich, glancing at Kate. “I… uh… have to make another phone call, actually, excuse me.” He pushed his chair back and stood up, moving away from the table while he pulled out his cell phone.
“He’s awfully quiet today,” commented Sharon.
“Must be work,” mumbled Eli.
“Or his daughter?” D'arcy softly speculated.
“He’s such a devoted father,” offered Sharon in an undertone. He disappeared behind the carved privacy screen, and his cell phone rang in his hand.
“Hello?…Right, I was just about to call you.”
“Excuse me for a moment.” Kate stood up, taking advantage of the fact that the others were eating and still talking about her crazy neighbour.
“I did want to go over that with you,” he was saying into his phone. “Thursday might be possible, but I’ll have to check with my secretary later today, when I’m back in the office.”
He glanced at her.
“I think there’s a precedent for that, yes,” Simon said distractedly as she moved past him to the bathroom, following her with his eyes.
A moment later, as Kate opened the bathroom door, he stepped through the door, nudging her back into the room, still talking on his phone. “I’ve gotta go now. Bye.” He hung up the phone abruptly, and rather rudely she thought, and closed the door. “It’s just my brother,” he explained, but that didn’t explain at all the previous chatter about secretaries and precedents.
“Ssss… ” Kate caught herself before she exclaimed loudly, but not before he silenced her with a fervent kiss. “Mmmm.” She gasped, her eyes wide, recovering and pulling away with her hands against his firm chest. “What are you doing? Are you crazy?” she hissed.
“Mmm. Crazy for you,” he murmured, his hot and needy eyes raking over her body.
“Looks like you’ve got more than talking on your mind today. This is ridiculous. We can’t be in here together. You promised.” Kate stood with her arms akimbo, a strangely aggressive posture given the fact that she was whispering.
He grinned, and raked a hand through his hair, drawing a breath. “It’s only that I’m so damned frustrated playing these stupid childish games. Agree to see me and maybe I can relax.” He was begging, becoming belligerent. He pressed on in an urgent whisper.
“Shhh.” She opened the connecting door into her en suite drawing him through, separating their voices from eavesdroppers by one more door.
He closed it, glancing through to her bedroom over her shoulder. “If at the end of this, you send me away, then fine. I’ll go. But not without understanding something. I can feel… something between us that’s overpowering me. I k
now you feel it too. And it’s not just shared memories of our old affair. It’s more. There’s a bond between us that we can’t ignore.”
“How can I ignore it when you won’t leave me alone?” she sighed, exasperated.
“You can’t tell me you don’t feel anything, Kate. That you don’t want to see me ever again once this case wraps.” Simon grasped her shoulders and squeezed, stroking her arms in frustration. He gazed deeply into her worried eyes. “I need to be alone with you.”
“I don’t know. I only know we cannot do this while we are trying to work together. I’m in so much trouble already.” She felt her face threaten to crumble as tears welled again. This was too much. She couldn’t deal with it.
He sighed, and brushed a hand over his eyes. Then he framed her face with his palms, slid them down to cup her shoulders, squeezed reassuringly. “I know. I know you’re worried. I’m confident Sharon’s complaint will come to nothing, but I understand you’re concerned. She’s got no foundation. It'll be dismissed. It'll be okay, sweetheart, I promise. ”
He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her, pressing his face against her neck, cheek to cheek.
“How can you say that? Look at us.” She lifted her hands to illustrate, and ended with them against his cotton smooth back, rubbing up and down. He smelled so good.
“Okay. Not now. Let’s have dinner.” He paused to think, pulling back to push her hair back from her face. “Saturday. We’ll just talk. I promise.”
“That’s what you said last time,” she replied, meeting his eye apprehensively. Why was she even considering this given her earlier resolution? “Can’t you wait a week or two until this case is resolved and I hear back about the complaint? I’d just like to know where I stand before I flaunt our… whatever… in public.”
With one bent finger, he touched her eyebrow lightly, traced a line down her nose, dragged a fingertip across her bottom lip, making her shudder. “Please, Kate. It won’t hurt. I can’t think about anything else. I feel like you’re rejecting me, and I can’t–”
“Oh, alright. But not… out anywhere… Here, at the loft. Just stop talking to me now. Please.” She shoved him gently away. “We can’t stay here. They’ll come looking…” She sliced the air with an agitated hand, and marched out of the room before she surrendered completely to his persistent touches.
Reconcilable Differences: A 'Having It All' Novel Page 30