Hard Rhythm

by Cecilia Tan

  She let out a huff but didn’t actively argue, still in “sex doll” mode. Good.

  “Don’t believe me? I’ll be more specific. You are the most beautiful, fantastic woman I’ve ever had the honor of making come.” I pulled one of her legs to the side, exposing her glistening folds. “I’m reactivating your ability to come now, but I’m deactivating your ability to move.”

  She lay perfectly still and I felt that thrill pour through me: she obeyed! Every time this gorgeous, independent spirit bent to my will I felt that power surge. Oh yes.

  I moved her other leg and she stayed wonderfully limp. I licked slowly right up the middle of her, dragging my tongue across her clit. A deep shudder went through her but she didn’t move. Every part of her was swollen and slick, the most aroused I’d ever seen her, and that included after she’d been wearing the phone-controlled vibrator.

  I framed her pussy with my hands and continued my slow licking. Each pass of my tongue was like a kick drum, low and deep. After a while at the end of each lick I added a flutter of the tip, like a hi-hat fill that didn’t break the rhythm. I let myself fall into a kind of trance, repeating the motions again and again, measuring time not by seconds but by her breaths, which came faster and faster.

  When she began to come she could no longer keep silent, a long, low wail starting in her stomach and rising in her throat as her arousal crested, hung like a wave, then broke and washed all the way up the beach. I doubted she was done either, and slid my fingers inside her, triggering another one immediately. She was wired for penetration for sure. If I hadn’t just come minutes before I would not have been able to hold back putting my cock into that pleasure tunnel. Unfortunately, though, I was limp for a while. Probably another half hour at least. Well, something had to feed that hungry pussy, so I handfucked her roughly, sparing her nothing, and she responded with the most wonderfully encouraging cries, changing from screams to the word “yes!” repeated again and again. I made her come until her screams began to sound more exhausted than enthusiastic, and then I let her rest at last.

  As before, when I lifted my sloppy fingers to her face, she licked them clean. “You’re a better sex slave than the supposed ‘house-trained’ slaves at the private clubs in London.”

  “I am?” She licked her lips and lay back, the fitting picture of a ravished goddess, like something from a painting.

  “Way better.” I didn’t want to jump into a heavy discussion seconds after ending a scene, but it was clear to me now that her submissive streak ran very deep. I heaved myself up onto the pillows next to her. “Or maybe you’re just more into me than they were.”

  She blinked and stretched, rolling her shoulders. “Wow. I hadn’t realized how much work it would be not to move. I’ve never done anything like that before.”

  “A doll scene, you mean?”

  “A pure obedience scene,” she said. “But wait, what private clubs in London?”

  I chuckled. “Come on, Madison. You don’t think the Governor’s Club is the only place like it in the world, do you?”

  “Well, I assumed other groups of people meet in secret but I don’t actually know any of them. You’ve been to ones in London?”

  I nodded. “Went to one that’s been in the same house since the 1800s. It was pretty wild. People have been hiding their kinks for a really long time.”

  She snuggled against me. “How’d you get the idea to turn me into a sex robot?”

  “Do you really want to know?”

  “Yeah.”

  I snagged the edge of the bedspread with my foot and pulled it over us. “You might not realize this but you have a tendency to resist being dominated.”

  She poked me. “Quit being sarcastic. I know I resist. I know I…top from the bottom sometimes, too. That’s why it’s surprising you think I’m a better slave than someone trained.”

  That made me smile. Did she really not know how exciting she was to play with? I guess what some people considered topping from the bottom I considered a fun challenge. “Maddie, you’ve been-there, done-that when it comes to so many kinks. If I put you in bondage it’s like inviting you to resist. But if I make you hold yourself still, that’s a whole different story.”

  “Okay…”

  “Making you a doll gave you no opportunity to top from the bottom. Because when there’s no bondage, no ropes, no blindfold, there’s nothing to resist.”

  “But you like it when I resist,” she said, a hint of confusion in her voice.

  “I like that also. It’s exciting when there’s a power struggle,” I clarified, “but I like it even better when I win.”

  “Ah.” With that one syllable I felt her drop back into subspace, which meant this conversation was no longer on the level—if it had ever been.

  I rolled her onto her back. “I think that’s what I’m waiting for.”

  “What?”

  “For your total and complete surrender to me. For all the fight to be gone. For your will to be ‘one hundred and ten percent’ mine.”

  She chuckled at my imitation of Puppy’s voice, but then asked, “But when I go into subspace, my will is totally yours. What’ll be different?”

  I kissed her temple so she wouldn’t feel these next words were a rebuke. “What’ll be different is that you won’t hold back whatever it is you wouldn’t tell me at TGC that night.”

  She bristled a little anyway. “I told you there was no flashback. It wasn’t like that.”

  “But something is definitely going on in there. Listen to me, sweets. I’m not scolding you for not being able to tell me. But I think we both know there’s something to figure out.”

  She swallowed, then admitted, “Yeah.”

  “So that’s the key. When we unlock that box, that’s when I’ll fuck you. Other than in the ass, I mean.”

  I could feel her considering this idea. “You mean…it’s the dom/sub version of a woman not giving it up until he puts a ring on her finger.”

  “Exactly. Until that commitment’s total, yeah, we’re not going all the way.”

  “How’s that different from using your cock as a prize?”

  “Because this isn’t about sex. This is about whether there’s more here than just sex. If all the toys and role-playing is just set dressing to spice up sex, then there are plenty of things we can do to get off besides P-I-V.” I felt proud of myself all of a sudden. Life of a rock star: I had a steady stream of women ready to be instantly sexual and it had kind of devalued “traditional” fucking for me. But with Madison, I didn’t want a quick fuck. I wanted much more. I wanted her. I wanted to own her. Not because she was a meek submissive creature but because she wasn’t. Holding back from fucking had given it meaning for me again, and cemented in my mind that what I had with Madison was precious. “It’ll happen when you’re really ready to submit, completely and totally. When you won’t feel like you have to hold back part of yourself.”

  “Submission is complicated for me,” she said, half a whisper.

  “That’s why it’s worthwhile,” I murmured, slipping my hand between her legs again. “If it was simple, I wouldn’t be interested.”

  She clamped her legs together. “I thought we were done.”

  “If you want to be done, say so. Personally, at this moment, I want to put a finger inside you.”

  “Why?”

  “Isn’t it obvious, sweets? Maybe it isn’t, actually. I’m not ready to stop pleasuring you. I’m not ready to stop torturing you. I’m not ready to give you back your body. ”

  Her eyes were staring intently into mine as I felt the pressure of her thigh muscles slackening, as she gradually convinced herself to let go. When her knee shifted to give me better access I slid my fingers up and down her wetness. “You tell me which finger to put in you,” I murmured into her ear. “Or how many.”

  “Two,” she whispered. “Index and middle finger, please, sir?”

  The sound of her voice as she submitted again was the sweetest music. “Ooo
h, dirty girl.” I obliged her, slipping them deep inside and fucking her gently with them. “You see how good it feels when you surrender?”

  “Mm yes,” she said, her arms around my neck as she arched her back toward more pleasure. “I…I think it’s because it’s you, Chino.”

  “What’s because it’s me?”

  “I mean, I’ve never got off from submission before, not like this.”

  “Oh, and you think it’s because you just hadn’t met the right dom?”

  “I guess. No other guy, or gal for that matter, has ever made me feel like this.”

  “Maddie, I keep trying to tell you, that doesn’t mean you’re not ‘good at it.’ That you can only drop for me is even better.” She really didn’t seem to understand why that was so perfect—why the fuck would I want a sub who was submissive for anyone and everyone? I crooked my fingers against her G-spot and made her eyes roll back in her head. “Puppy’s master was onto something. When you’re completely ready to be mine I won’t have to put you into subspace for you to feel it. Being mine will be such a part of you that you won’t second-guess, you’ll do it completely with no reservations.”

  “But I already feel more deeply about you than about anyone else I’ve ever been with.”

  I nodded. “Likewise. But give yourself this test. If I had a tattoo gun sitting right here, would you let me ink my name into your skin?”

  She stiffened in my arms. “I’d…have to think about it.”

  “Exactly.” I kissed her gently. “Which means we’re not all the way there yet. Not all the way to you giving me the gift of your body forever. It’s okay, Maddie. I’ll accept what you give. You’re just not ready to give it all.”

  “I’m not even ready to come again,” she whispered.

  “Too bad,” I whispered wickedly. “Because I’m going to make you come now.”

  She made a noise of dismay but didn’t protest, didn’t use her safeword, didn’t fight, unless you counted the way she bucked against my fingers as a fight. Given how hard she came, I wouldn’t call it a struggle at all.

  Chapter Eleven

  CHINO

  We avoided heavy D/s relationship talk again until we were in the car driving back to the city on Sunday afternoon. I exchanged contact info with a bunch of the other partygoers and Bry and Jill asked if we wanted to go to a party with them in a couple of weeks up north somewhere. I told them we’d look at our calendars; I knew the band had some upcoming gigs but didn’t know when we’d scheduled the rehearsals.

  The drive back was peaceful. I felt good and it seemed like Madison did, too. I wasn’t sure if she was taking all the talk about her surrendering to me as just an elaborate mindfuck that heated up our scenes or if she was taking it seriously.

  The truth was I meant it very seriously. I could understand why she might want to laugh it off. I mean, come on: become my permanent sex slave? Get my name tattooed on her? I had to be kidding, right?

  But I wasn’t, not about the tattoo or how I felt about her. I’d been falling for her right from the start, right from the moment at the Governor’s Club when I’d realized what I wanted most from her wasn’t a warm place to stick my dick but someone who’d listen. And every time we got together I fell deeper into that hole. I wanted us to be together, and everything we had done so far felt really good, but I didn’t think we’d found quite how to fit together. “I wonder how it works with Faisal and Puppy both belonging to David,” I mused aloud. “Do the two of them have a relationship, too?”

  “I got the feeling it was kind of like sibling rivalry,” Maddie said. “They both love their Daddy but their relationship with each other is on a different axis, not romantic but still important.”

  When she said the word “Daddy” I felt a deep throb in my gut, as if a bass string connecting my balls and my heart had been plucked. “Did they call him that?”

  “I didn’t hear either of them use the word, but he called them ‘my boys’ and he had the whole gay ‘leather daddy’ wardrobe and look down pat. Even if he doesn’t use the word itself.”

  “I think Faisal addressed him as ‘sir’ even when they weren’t in scene. But maybe the whole party was a scene for them.”

  “He was definitely the service-oriented one.”

  “Does that make him a slave, you think? Or just a boy, if leather boys are expected to serve.”

  “Probably depends on what they decide for themselves.” She yawned and stretched in her seat. “I’ve never been totally comfortable with the word ‘slave.’ I mean, it’s fine for other people, and I know a lot of people find the whole ownership idea super-hot, but something about the word just doesn’t sit right with me.”

  I felt a rush of joy. Once again Maddie said the perfect thing. “It’s like you read my mind. I can play master and slave for a night or two but in a relationship? It’s like the word’s too loaded.” Ha. Like “Daddy” isn’t loaded? I kept quiet about that for the moment.

  “So what do you think was going on with Lion and Kittyn?” she asked. Her eyes were hidden behind dark sunglasses as we drove through the desert.

  I should’ve kept my eyes on the road and not try to look at her, but I had to steal a glance or two. “What do you mean? Oh, you mean with the whole thing about how she can never remember to ask his permission before eating?”

  “Yeah. Didn’t that strike you as kind of weird?”

  “You mean the whole asking permission thing?”

  “No, that makes sense now that I think about it,” she said. “I mean, she’s a collared slave, supposed to be his property. Her entire body. Right? The idea is she doesn’t eat, shit, breathe, or come without it being like a benevolence from him, am I right?”

  “That’s pretty much what it sounded like to me,” I said.

  “So that’s the weird part I’m trying to wrap my head around,” Madison said. “If she’s that into him and into her role as his, how can she forget? I mean, there they are at a play party, the whole thing is kind of like one big scene—”

  “If they’re into 24-7 play their whole lives are one big scene,” I pointed out.

  “Exactly. So how does she forget? He even said she never forgets to ask him to come. I’m trying to…figure this out.”

  I glanced at her and couldn’t read her expression, but I had the feeling she was trying to process what was going on between her and me. So I tried not to be flip in my answer. “Not knowing them that well, I’m going to make a lot of guesses. But the first is he seems to put up with it pretty tolerably, so maybe it isn’t as important as it seems to us?”

  “He seemed almost resigned to being embarrassed by her.”

  “Yeah, you’re right. That did strike me as a little odd. Like, if it was me, and I knew my submissive had trouble following an order I think I’d…I dunno…do more to give them a better chance of succeeding.”

  “Like what?”

  “Like maybe remind her when she went to get the burgers, ‘here Kittyn, here’s a chance to practice your food restriction.’” Like you would if you were trying to teach a kid the right way to behave. “Or maybe punish her swiftly, quickly, when she did it so it’d sink in.” I drummed my fingers on the steering wheel. “But maybe they’ve already tried all those things and they didn’t work?”

  “Or maybe what he really wants is for her to remember for herself without a lot of special prompting from him,” Madison said. “Maybe that’s the test. She has to remember it for herself. And he’s patiently waiting for the day she gets it right.”

  “Huh. That’s a nice way of looking at it.” It truly was. I’d been thinking the guy was kind of weaksauce before that, but perhaps she had a point.

  “Just imagine how powerful that scene is going to be when she finally does.” Maddie leaned back in the bucket seat with a sigh.

  “Yep. And until then there are infinite excuses for punishment and training scenes in between. It’s win-win.” And what about us, Maddie? Is that what we’re headed for? A long st
ring of scenes where I dominate you every which way until you finally come crawling to me of your own free will?

  I swerved slightly as I realized my daydream was stealing my attention from the road. I hit my blinker to pull off at the next exit to get some coffee.

  * * *

  MADISON

  My phone buzzed with a text shortly before Chino dropped me off. I glanced at it in the car but kept my face neutral. Lawson. I’d been hoping to curl up with my journal and write down some thoughts about Chino and the weekend and whatnot and maybe take a nap, but Lawson had to rear his head. I called Gwen the second I got into the house to tell her about what he was up to now.

  “Maddie, where are you?”

  “Facedown on my couch. What a weekend I’ve had. I have so much to tell you.”

  “Oh? Do tell. A little bird told me you were in Palm Springs with Chino.”

  “Yes, but there’s something much more urgent.” I sat up and put the phone on speaker so I could read the text again. “I’m worried about a…potential breach of security.”

  “Oh.”

  In other words we probably shouldn’t talk about it over the phone.

  Gwen’s voice remained chipper, though. “Have you had dinner? Maybe we should go grab something and talk about it.”

  “Sure. Give me a couple of hours to clean myself up. Should I meet you somewhere?”

  “Hm. Not sure how cloak and dagger to be about this…”

  “Pick a restaurant, text me the address and I’ll meet you there at seven.”

  “Sounds like a plan.”

  I spent the next hour trying to convince my cat not to be miffed at me for leaving him alone overnight with a small mountain of kibble. “Morris, you didn’t even eat it all, and you’ve even got water in your fountain,” I told him when he decided to come out of hiding and march back and forth in front of me, voicing his displeasure loudly.

  I eventually coaxed him into my lap whereupon he instantly became a puddle of furry affection. “See, you just had to get over yourself. Sweet kitty.”