“Fuck them too,” Ben said, but Kate’s faint smile and the dark circles under her eyes were evidence of her concern. “How’re you doing?” he asked, and they both knew he was referring to Andrew.
“Not great,” Kate said. “But it’s a lot. How are you?”
“I dunno,” Ben said. “It kinda hit me yesterday. Really hit me.”
“It’ll take time…”
“I just keep thinking I should have come home sooner.”
Kate draped her arm around his waist, and Ben relished the comfort of their relaxed embrace.
“There’s nothing you can do about that now, Ben. I was thinking the same thing. But we both grew up, started our own lives. Kids grow up and leave home, and parents know it’s for the best even if they miss us, or we miss them.”
“Do you really think that?”
“Not really,” Kate replied as the suitcases traveled by on their lazy rotation. “There’s mine,” she said when a black case with a green ribbon tied around the side handle emerged from behind the plastic flaps.
“I got it,” Ben said, and he bent forward and grabbed the suitcase. He pulled the retractable handle up and tilted the case onto its back wheels. “Let’s go.”
Kate hooked her left arm under Ben’s right, and he led them out to the multistory parking lot. When he stopped behind the Malibu, her brow furrowed in confusion.
“Where’s the Camaro?”
“Long story,” Ben replied.
“You seem to have a lot of those,” Kate said. “Were you in an accident?”
“Kinda,” Ben said, popping the trunk to put the suitcase inside. “No one was hurt, but the Camaro is out of commission for a while. I’m going to fix her up, though.”
“I hate that you call it ‘her,’” Kate said with an indignant huff. “Why are vehicles always referred to as women? Ships too. It’s infuriating.”
“I’ll work on that,” Ben said. He could feel his sister’s shrewd stare, but she did not press for more information about the Camaro, and he pressed the keychain’s unlock button. “Hop on in.”
Kate eased herself into the passenger seat when Ben opened the door for her, and he waited until she was comfortable before he slammed it shut. Ben slid into the driver’s seat and cranked the engine. He navigated the spiraling loop of parking levels and exited the multistory lot.
“Benji?”
“Yeah?”
“Is that a hickey?”
“Pardon?” Ben asked, turning onto the highway.
“There,” Kate said, leaning close to examine his neck. “It is a hickey. Really, Ben? Really? Are you in high school? Oh shit, are you with Peter again?”
“Shut up, Katie,” Ben said with affection as he peered up at the rear-view mirror to check for traffic behind him.
“I absolutely will not,” Kate said. “Come on. Spill. The flight was boring, and it’s a long drive back to Point Pleasant.”
“I’m not with Peter,” Ben said, focusing on the highway as he changed lanes.
“So there’s someone new?” Kate asked. “I’m not the only one with secrets it seems.”
“Someone old, actually.” He glanced over long enough to see Kate lift an eyebrow.
“Who?” she pressed. “Not someone in town, surely?”
Ben kept quiet, and he took in his sister’s perplexed frown before he finally replied. “Nic, okay? I’m with Nic.”
“Since when?” Kate asked with an annoyance that made Ben want to cringe.
“Since I came back,” Ben replied and checked the rear-view mirror again. “Well, not the whole time.”
“Ben,” Kate said, sounding flat and unimpressed. “He’s why you left in the first place.”
“Katie,” Ben started, and he spared a warning glare over to his sister.
“No, are you fucking kidding me right now? Didn’t he just arrest you the other night?”
“I probably deserved that.”
“Ben,” Kate said as if scolding a small child. “No, really. What are you doing?”
“Driving your ass to Point Pleasant, Miss Daisy.” Ben winked to his sister and gave her an easy smile. “What does it look like I’m doing?”
“Ben,” Kate repeated.
“Go on,” Ben said, sighing. “Say what you want.”
“I don’t understand. He broke your heart,” Kate replied. Her voice was quiet and even, but it stabbed like a knife.
“And I broke his in my own way,” Ben said. “I broke a lot of things when I left.”
The car was submerged in silent tension, and Ben rolled down his window a few inches to let some of it bleed out onto the highway. He gripped the steering wheel with both hands and kept his eyes on the road.
“I should have come home sooner,” he said at last. “A lot of things would have turned out different.”
“Like you and Nic?” Kate asked, still using the same tone of disapproval.
“Like me and Nic. Me and Dad. And even us, Katie.”
“Ben, we’re fine,” Kate said after a moment.
“You’re four months pregnant, and you didn’t tell me,” Ben shot back. “And why didn’t you say anything about David?”
“It’s complicated.”
“Make it uncomplicated, then.”
“Jesus F. Christ, why do you think? I’ve been freaking the fuck out for the last three months. I want this baby, but I never thought it would be like this. I was with David for three years. Three years, okay? And suddenly I’m pregnant, and he ‘can’t deal with that kind of responsibility, yet.’ A thirty-five year old man can’t deal with the fucking responsibility.”
“I’m sorry,” Ben replied, noting his sister’s angry expression.
“Yeah, well, so was I. Three years gone. And I didn’t appreciate his suggestion that we ‘take care of it’ like the baby is some overdue library book I can return on my lunch hour.”
“You’re kidding,” Ben said, scowling at the implication.
“I fucking wish I was.”
“What an asshole,” Ben said. “Once again, fuck him. You’re gonna be a great mom, Katie.”
She laughed in response, but she shook her head just the same. “We’ll see. New partner, single mom. I haven’t even had the baby, and the wolves are already snapping their jaws for my position. I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a bet going for how long I last at the firm before I implode under the pressure.”
“Once again, fuck them too,” Ben said. “You’re Kate fucking Wisehart.” He paused for a moment and spared another quick glimpse at his sister in the passenger seat. “When were you going to tell me, though?”
“Soon,” Kate sighed. “It just never came up.”
“It never came up,” Ben parroted. “Am I supposed to ask you every time I call? ‘Hey, big sis, you having any babies in the near future?’”
“Jackass,” she said and poked at his shoulder.
“Did you think I was going to judge you?” Ben asked. When Kate did not reply, he scowled. “Are you serious? Me? Of all fucking people?”
“I didn’t want Dad to know yet, okay?”
“Why?” Ben asked. He glanced over to her, then back to the highway, and hated that they were having this conversation while he was driving.
“Because he would have been so thrilled,” Kate said. “His baby girl, knocked up and abandoned like some fucking Lifetime Movie of the Week heroine. Oh, the unmarried, bastardly shame of it. I replayed how that phone call would have gone in my head dozens of times, Ben. ‘I thought you were smarter than that, Katie.’”
“Kate, you don’t know that.”
“Yeah, because he was so supportive of you over the years. Remind me again why you never told him the Camaro isn’t the only kind of stick you prefer to drive.”
Ben tightened his hands around the wheel and did not reply. He thought of their phone call from the previous week when Kate had called to check on him after she negotiated the terms of his release from police custody. You’ve gotta s
top letting him dictate your life. You never see him, but you still let him rule over you. Without mirth, Ben realized his sister had been feeding him advice she probably should have taken as well. Kate’s pensive posture in the passenger seat told Ben she was most likely thinking the same thing.
“So let me get this straight,” Kate said, maneuvering the direction of their conversation away from their father as effortlessly as Ben changed lanes. “My little brother is dating the sheriff of Mason County.”
“Apparently.”
Kate cocked her head to the side, and Ben caught her passive smirk when he peered over at her again. “Under other circumstances, I might say that’s kinda sexy, Benji. What changed? Because last I checked, he was still the ghost that wouldn’t stop haunting you. Need I remind you who proofread your first book? Oh, yeah. It was me.”
Ben hesitated at the mention of The Blue Tulip. He looked over to Kate for a second and noted the unyielding furrow of lines set into her forehead.
“Jeez, Katie,” he muttered. “I didn’t realize you had such an excellent view of my personal misery all these years.”
“Again, I’ve read your fucking book,” Kate started. Her voice was shrill, and she took a few seconds to bring it down to a conversational level. “And on top of that, I’d like to think I know you pretty well. You moped about him for far longer than you would ever admit. Excuse me for not being thrilled to find out he’s your latest pit stop while you’re stuck in town.”
“No, I get it.” He pursed his lips, brooding over the assertion that he would use Nicholas as a ‘pit stop.’ “So is this why you never told me he didn’t marry Lily?”
“Would you have cared?” Kate asked, gazing at the taillights of the green Hyundai in front of them.
“Of course I would have cared!”
“Well, I’ll just hop into my TARDIS, shall I?” Kate said with all the dramatic flair of a Time Lord. “I’ll hop right in, go back in time, and send you the memo.”
“Someone’s been watching BBC America.”
“Hey, jackass, you don’t get to hold the monopoly on geeky shit just because you have a dick,” Kate said. “Let’s recap. He didn’t marry Gigglepants McGee because…what? It turned out he loved you too?”
“Apparently,” Ben said, letting out a snort of laughter at the name Kate had often used when referring to Lily. “It’s not that simple, though.”
“So he had feelings for you this whole time?” Kate asked after a beat, and Ben felt chagrinned by the reluctance in her tone. “That’s oddly romantic.”
“I don’t know about that,” Ben replied as he turned onto an on-ramp. Kate reached over and ruffled his hair.
“It kind of is,” she said and withdrew her hand to place it over the swell of her stomach. “I don’t even remember the last time someone bought me flowers. And I dare say I shouldn’t expect a bouquet anytime soon.”
“I’ll plant you a garden, so you’ll have flowers all year.”
Silence greeted the declaration, and Ben noticed Kate was staring at him with wide eyes.
“You’re sweet, Benji.”
They shared a lingering smile before Ben returned his focus to the road.
“What happens after Friday?” Kate asked.
“You mean how do I think my latest pit stop paramour will play out?”
“Basically,” Kate said. “Are you going back to Boston?”
“No,” Ben replied. “I’m not.”
“So you’re staying around for a while? I guess you can just come and go as you please.”
“I’ve decided to move home, actually.”
“You?” Kate tittered. “You’re moving home?”
“I think I stayed away long enough.”
“What the hell is going on with you, Ben?” Kate demanded. “Oh god, you are sick, aren’t you? Is it cancer? Is it a dude thing? Is it something with your balls?”
“Jesus, Katie!” Ben exclaimed. “My balls are fine, thank you very much for asking. Please never enquire about them again.”
“Did they drug you?” Kate pressed. “Did someone give you a Dixie cup full of Kool-Aid?”
Ben’s eyes flickered up to the road sign that pointed them toward the town. “It’s home.”
Kate seemed taken aback and did not speak for a few minutes. “The house is yours now, you know.”
“What?” Ben looked to his sister after he rolled to a stop at a red light.
“Dad’s will. He had me draw it up a few years ago. He left you the house. Asked me if I minded. I joked and said I didn’t care as long as I got the Eames set.” Kate trailed off and turned to stare out the passenger window. “Anyway. He just wanted to make sure you always had somewhere to go.”
Ben sat behind the wheel of the car and remained unmoving even as the light changed to green. The car behind them honked its horn, and he hit the accelerator.
“He said he told you.”
“He didn’t,” Ben said. Kate regarded him with an unnerving closeness as he digested the new information. He made a left onto River Bend Road and huffed out a deep breath through his nose. “He really sucked at that whole talking thing.”
“Now you know where we get it from.”
Ben rolled his eyes, but he figured it was true enough. When he turned onto Main Street, Kate straightened.
“What the hell?” she asked, gesturing to the burnt remains of the Gazette.
“I told you it’s been weird around here.”
“What happened?” Kate asked. “Was anyone hurt?”
“Yeah,” Ben replied softly. “A few deaths, actually. Richard.”
“Fulwell?” Kate asked, snapping her attention back to Ben.
“Yeah. Gas explosion,” Ben said, opting to sidestep his adventure into the paranormal in favor of the generic, completely natural excuse that Grant Harper had balked at just moments before he put a bullet through his brain.
“That’s awful!”
“I know,” Ben said. “Town’s trying to move past it, best I can tell.”
He parked in front of the house—his house—on Cardinal Lane and climbed out of the Malibu. He opened the passenger door for Kate and offered his hand to help her stand.
Kate stared up at the house. Her features were lit by the overhanging moon, and her green eyes had taken on a liquid sheen in its light.
“It’s weird,” she said, rubbing a hand over her belly while Ben took her suitcase out of the trunk. “Knowing he’s not here.”
“You’re telling me. The first night…” he trailed off when he thought of Andrew’s office and the cigarette he had smoked. “It’s just really empty.”
“Well, it’s not empty tonight,” Kate said. She slid her arm around Ben’s back and put on an encouraging smile, but it seemed forced.
“It’s cold,” Ben said, tugging his sister toward the walkway.
Inside, Kate took his coat, then her own, and hung them up beside Andrew’s black rain jacket. They stood in the entry hall and absorbed the dreary hush of the house.
“You know what would be great?” Kate asked.
“What’s that?”
“Pizza from Roderick’s,” Kate said. “If he’s still in business, that is. Extra cheese.”
“So I’m just sitting in the middle of the floor of the spare room—now the nursery, mind you—reading this baby feng shui book,” Kate said, and she gestured over the empty pizza box. “Margaret walks in because she had to drop off some briefs for me to go over, and I start waving my arms around about how the crib has to go in that exact spot because it has the best energy. The best, Ben. The best.” She accented the point with another flail of her hands. “Poor Margaret. She’s been lovely, though. Very attentive.”
“Sounds like she’s the best, Kate. The best.”
“The best, Ben,” Kate agreed and took a long sip of water.
“You’re gonna be the best mom. The best.”
“I’m excited,” Kate said with a grin. “So sue me.”
“I’d rather not.”
They lapsed into a comfortable silence, and Ben nursed a beer while he appraised his sister. He knew people said pregnant women had a glow about them, but Kate seemed especially serene as she lounged with her hands resting protectively over her stomach.
“You look happy, Katie.”
“I am,” Kate replied. “I mean, I’m sad about Dad. And life feels like a bit of a mess. But in general, yeah, I’m happy.”
“I’m glad,” Ben said.
“You seem good too. Better than when I last saw you.”
“Oh?”
“You seem different,” Kate said, assessing him with the same perplexed expression Marietta had donned after the ritual. “But I can’t quite figure out how you’re different. Are you really moving back?”
“Yeah,” Ben said and took a swig of his beer. “It feels right.”
“Good,” Kate replied, and she went quiet for a moment. “I should have told you about Nic not getting married. I saw him a few times when I’d come to visit Dad. He always asked about you.”
“What did you say?”
“That we didn’t talk much or that you were keeping busy. He asked me for your email address once. I told him you hated computers.”
Ben let out a humorless laugh.
“I was just doing what I thought was best for you, Benji.”
“I get it,” Ben said. “I’d probably have done the same thing if the situation was reversed.”
“Somehow I think you’d have been more aggressive.”
“What, like how I’d be if I ever saw David Brereton again?”
“Something like that,” Kate said. “But I am sorry. I should have told you. I was just trying to protect my little brother.”
“It’s not your fault, Kate,” Ben said. “It’s not like I’d have come running back just because you found out he didn’t get married.”
“He still made you feel like shit,” Kate said, stating the obvious. “I’m not saying I approve of this or him, but you do seem happy. And if that’s because of Nic, then I’m sorry if I hindered it.”
Ben gave a weak shrug and toyed with the label on his bottle.
“You’re a jackass, but I do love you, Benji,” Kate said, putting her hand over his to still his fidgeting.
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