She turned and stared at him.
‘How do you do it?’ she demanded. ‘How do you know what I’m thinking?’
He had to smile.
‘Never play poker, kid!’ If he kept it light he could tighten his arm and give her half a hug. Half a hug was friendship, not involvement. ‘You’ve got the most expressive face I’ve ever seen.’
Kate sighed then, joy of joys, rested her head on his shoulder and gazed out over the placid waters of the cove.
‘I know that in my head—about Grandad and my parents loving me,’ she admitted sadly. ‘It’s in my heart I’m having trouble.’
Tell me about it! But Hamish kept his comment to himself. Having Kate this close was bliss, but one false move and she’d skitter away again, hiding behind the barricades of remembered pain.
‘In my heart I’ve got this alone thing happening. I know it’s stupid, but I can’t seem to get around it. Anyway, smell this.’
She thrust her frond of flowers under his nose.
‘Isn’t it beautiful? Do you know what it is? Do you know why Charles doesn’t like me?’
‘Charles doesn’t like you? You’re asking me to identify a flower for you—it’s ginger, by the way. I liked the scent so much myself I asked Jill about it. Then you switch to some cockamamie question about Charles not liking you. Has he said so? Did he roll right up to you and say, “Kate, I don’t like you”? What is going on in that head of yours?’
He tightened his hold—in friendship of course.
‘He frowns at me. Well, not at me when I’m looking at him, but you know how silently he gets around—someone should have found a way to make his wheels squeak by now. Anyway, sometimes I kind of sense his presence and I turn around and there he is, frowning at me.’
‘You’re imagining it,’ Hamish said stoutly, though in his head and heart he was remembering that he spent a lot of his own time frowning at this woman when she wasn’t aware of his presence. His frown was because he was pretty sure he loved her, and couldn’t work out how to get past her determination to avoid love at all cost.
Could Charles also be in love with her?
Hamish could well understand if he was, and the clenching in his gut suggested he didn’t like this idea one bit. Charles was far too old for her.
Not that old …
And Charles could certainly be charming …
‘I’ll talk to Charles,’ he said firmly, and Kate laughed.
‘And ask him to stop frowning at me? Oh, please!’ She turned and kissed him on the cheek. ‘You’re a really good friend, Hamish, and I appreciate the offer, but I’ll live with Charles’s frowns. I only mentioned it because it happened again when we left the room after we’d been talking to him about Jack.’
She was silent for a moment, moving away a little before the settee tipped her back towards him.
‘You don’t suppose he thinks—He couldn’t think I’ve got something going with Jack, could he? I mean, apart from me being far too old for Jack, he’s really only interested in Megan …’
She sounded confused enough to need comfort so Hamish drew her close again, and they sat like that for a while, watching the moon come up over the horizon, spreading a silver path across the water of the cove.
‘Moonlight and water—made for romance, isn’t it?’
The murmured words slid seditiously into Kate’s ear and her heartbeats upped their intensity, bringing heat to the innermost parts of her body.
Kissing Hamish was back!
‘We can’t have a romance, Hamish,’ she said, betraying the words by wriggling closer to him, because being close to Hamish was extremely comforting. ‘Leaving aside my hangups about relationships—which are huge—you’re going home in a couple of weeks. It would be stupid to start something we can’t finish.’
He kissed the top of her head then his lips moved down and pressed against the corner of her right eye. His tongue slid out to lick a tiny patch of skin—surely eye-skin shouldn’t be erogenous.
‘My leaving isn’t an issue. We could finish it in Scotland. Or not finish it at all.’
Even hushed, his deep voice sent shivers down her spine. It had to be the accent. Daniel’s voice had never made contact with her spine at all—with any of her bones, come to think of it.
‘Come home with me. Be my family. Make a family that is ours.’
His lips had reached the corner of her mouth. He couldn’t have any idea how tempting that suggestion had been—how much she longed to regain some concept of ‘home’ and ‘family’.
Damn, she should have been concentrating on the progress of his lips, not thinking about nebulous concepts of home and family. He’d taken advantage of her distraction and was kissing her!
Perhaps she hadn’t got an F for the cliff kiss …
‘Are you with me on this?’
He raised his head far enough to free his lips and ask the question, but the aftershocks of the kiss were such that she couldn’t answer. Bones—it was all to do with bones. His voice had affected her spine; now the kiss had made the rest of her bones turn to jelly.
Not possible.
‘Apparently!’ Hamish said, presumably to himself as she certainly wasn’t carrying on a conversation with him. She was trying to get her bones to solidify again, and worrying about the warm feeling in the pit of her stomach that Hamish’s kisses was generating.
He resumed kissing her.
She should be protesting, or at least not kissing him back, but there was something so deliciously delirious about being kissed by Hamish that shoulds and shouldn’ts didn’t count.
‘Oh, dear,’ she managed when they drew apart to breathe some time later. ‘This really shouldn’t be happening, Hamish.’
‘No?’
He tipped her chin up and smiled into her eyes.
‘But how else can I convince you this is special? Yes, it’s sudden, and surprising, and barely believable, but that doesn’t mean it’s not real, Kate. So I’ll keep kissing you because I know words won’t build the trust you need to overcome your doubts—and admit it, woman, you’re kissing me right back!’
His gruff words shook her jellied bones.
‘Yes, I know, and it’s very nice—lovely kisses—very special, but, Hamish …’
Kate couldn’t find the words she needed to tell him about the hurt inside her—about the scars so new they had no protective scabs—about the hurt against which she had so few defences.
To open herself up to pain like that again, it was unthinkable …
‘No buts,’ he said gently, and he kissed her again, so thoroughly she wondered if they’d leave scorch marks on the settee.
‘No, I won’t go to the fire on the beach with you tonight,’ Kate said firmly, pushing past a lounging Hamish to get into the ED office. With Harry apparently satisfied he’d got all he could out of Jack, Kate had been shifted back to the ED for the weekend.
She’d been happy about the arrangement as there was usually less time for chat and gossip in ED—until Hamish had wandered in.
Searing embarrassment still swamped her when she remembered her behaviour on the settee the previous night. They’d eventually been startled apart by a round of applause from the kitchen, Cal announcing with unabashed delight that they’d broken the settee kissing record, set only recently by himself and Gina.
Kate had skulked off to her room, not knowing the others well enough to laugh it off, though Hamish had stayed, apparently unaffected by the fact any number of their housemates had seen them kissing.
Now here he was again, wanting her to accompany him to the fire party at the beach, making public a relationship that didn’t exist.
‘You’ll enjoy it,’ Hamish persisted.
‘Yes, I will, because I’m going anyway,’ Kate told him. ‘With Susie. She was talking about it yesterday while she was massaging Jack’s leg. And as it’s in celebration of getting Megan and Jack back together, Megan’s coming with us. Girls’ night out.’
&nb
sp; ‘Oh!’ For a moment Hamish looked so downcast Kate wanted to change her mind, but when he smiled just seconds later she was glad she’d stood firm. Hamish’s smiles were nearly as addictive as Hamish’s kisses and neither were the kind of addiction a woman who was determined to make her own way in life could afford.
‘Susie and Megan, huh? Well, that’s OK.’
He wandered off, leaving Kate to get on with her work, which, today, because the ED secretary hadn’t appeared, was recording patients as they came in and prioritising them to see the doctor on duty, who happened to be Charles—making it the first time Kate had worked directly with him.
She glanced cautiously around, but he was still out the back where ambulance patients were admitted or in treatment room five where a small boy who’d been vomiting all night had been shifted up ahead of a young woman with stomachache and a drunk who’d fallen out of his mate’s car and taken a lot of skin off one leg.
‘OK, I’ll take over here while you make yourself useful out there.’ Jane, a cheerful secretary who usually worked on the front desk, came bustling into the small office. ‘Charles phoned to say Wendy hadn’t arrived, and asked if I could come. Don’t worry, I started work in this cubbyhole, so I know what to do.’
Then she nodded to the drunk who was singing a song neither Kate nor, by the looks on their faces, anyone else in the room could recognise.
‘Who’s your friend?’
Kate smiled.
‘I’ll do him first,’ she said, and went out, taking the man with the gravel rash through to a treatment room. With any luck, all his leg needed was to be cleaned up and dressed, then he could go on his way.
Easier said than done. She managed to get him into the treatment room, but he’d no sooner lain down on the examination table than he gave a helpless yelp then threw up all over her.
A hastily summoned aide came in to clean up while Kate grabbed some clean scrubs and headed for the bathroom. But no matter how much water she splashed over herself, she knew she’d smell all day.
Damn the man!
Back in the treatment room, he was sitting up and at least had the decency to look embarrassed.
‘Room went round and round when I lay down,’ he explained, which was when she realised she’d misread his embarrassment as he began to sing again, this time about a room going round and round.
Kate shifted him so his leg was propped on an absorbent pad on the table and she could get at the bits of gravel in the wound. She flushed it first, but the grit remained embedded and she knew it was going to be a piece-by-piece job.
Using small tweezers and wearing a magnifying loupe, she painstakingly removed every grain, while her patient alternately serenaded her and asked her to marry him. She had nearly finished when Charles appeared in the doorway.
‘Need me?’ he said, and this time she was sure the frown accompanying the words was because of the way the two of them smelt. ‘Phew! Talk about ripe!’ he added, confirming her thoughts but making her smile nonetheless.
‘You might like to take a look, but he’s up to date with his tetanus shots, there are no deep wounds that need stitching and there’s no infection, so I thought I’d swab it all over with Betadine and let him go. Leave it without a dressing to dry it out?’
‘Yes,’ Charles said, then he frowned again, though he should have got used to the smell by now.
He wheeled away and, because the line-up for treatment hadn’t become noticeably longer, Kate finished tending her drunk then ducked over to the house to have a proper shower and change into clean clothes. She didn’t want people coming into the ED and going home feeling worse than when they’d arrived.
Susie knocked on her door at eight that evening.
‘You ready?’ she asked, when Kate called to her to come in.
‘As I’ll ever be,’ Kate told her. The quiet morning had turned into a hectic afternoon and she’d only come off duty fifteen minutes ago. But she’d had a quick shower and dressed in jeans and a light cotton knit sweater, thinking the breeze on the beach might be cool in spite of the fire.
‘Then let’s go,’ Susie said, leading the way out of the house.
‘Where’s Megan? Weren’t you going to pick her up?’
‘I was, but Hamish said he had to go downtown so he said he’d get her.’
Girls’ and Hamish’s night out?
Had he offered deliberately? Would that explain his smile?
Kate shook her head. She was here to find her father, not to get caught up in thinking about Hamish. Not about his kisses, or his Colleague Hamish days—just to find her father.
Harry might be there tonight.
She’d ask Harry about her mother. Say she was a friend of a friend in Melbourne—from a long time ago.
‘Hi you two.’
Mike and Emily greeted them, and Kate was relieved to see Emily was at last taking some time off. She worked in Theatre when Cal was operating and did shifts in other parts of the hospital, but mostly Kate had met her in the ICU where Emily had spent her free time fretting over Jack.
So her presence at the fire party was not only good for her, it meant she had at last accepted he was stable and his recovery would continue.
Susie unfolded the blanket she’d been carrying and spread it by the fire. She and Kate settled on it, though they had to move only minutes later when Megan and Hamish and Hamish’s guitar arrived, all three joining Susie and Kate on the blanket that had become, in Kate’s eyes, almost minuscule.
Not that Hamish was bothering her—not deliberately. Oh, no, he was being Colleague Hamish again, cheerful, chatty, making Megan laugh at silly jokes, asking her about Jackson’s progress, although every member of the hospital staff personally checked Jackson’s progress every day.
‘He’s coming home tomorrow,’ Megan said happily. ‘Well, home to Christina’s house with me. I’m not sure how I’ll manage, what with Mum over in Townsville with Dad.’
‘You know we’ll all do anything we can to help you with Jackson,’ Susie said, putting her arm around Megan and giving her a hug. ‘Anything you want, just yell, and half the staff will come running.’
Megan nodded.
‘You’ve all been so kind—and with Jack, too, although he’s still too sick for me to tell him all that happened.’
She turned to Hamish.
‘Should I tell him?’
‘About having Lucky at the rodeo?’
So Hamish’s ability to read minds wasn’t restricted to reading hers, Kate thought as Megan nodded.
But how would he reply? Kate held her breath, glad Megan hadn’t asked her.
‘I think you will eventually,’ Hamish said. ‘Not necessarily right away. But one day there’ll come a time and you’ll know it’s the right time. Then you’ll tell him and he’ll understand.’
He took one of Megan’s hands and held it in both of his.
‘You’ve been very sick, too, and have been through tremendous emotional pressure, so think about yourself as well as Jack and Jackson. Do what’s right for Megan sometimes, not just what’s right for them—or for your parents. That’s been a burden you carried on your own for far too long.’
Megan rested her head on his shoulder, and Kate heard her whispered thanks.
Kate was glad of the shadows as she blinked moisture from her eyes. Colleague Hamish was definitely something special as doctors went.
Drinks were passed around and Hamish shifted from the blanket, settling on a rock nearby and strumming lightly on his guitar. People started singing, soft ballads they’d obviously sung before, around other fires blazing on the beach. But the togetherness of it made Kate feel lost and alone again, and she remembered why she’d come on contract—and why she’d come at all.
She looked towards Hamish—strumming quietly on his rock. Could she forget her quest? Go back to Scotland with him?
Did it matter who her father was?
She no longer knew the answer to that one, and not knowing made her feel mor
e lost than ever.
Helpless.
She waited until Susie had gone to get more wine and Megan stood up to talk to Emily and Mike, then she slipped away, heading for where the casuarina trees threw shadows across the top of the beach—shadows deep enough to hide her departure.
‘Leaving so early? I’ll walk you home.’
Brian’s voice came from the very deepest of the shadows and, certain she hadn’t seen him approaching as she’d walked up the beach, she wondered if he’d been standing there.
Watching …
A shiver she didn’t understand feathered down her spine, and when Hamish spoke from close behind her, she was so relieved she nearly flew into his arms.
‘Sorry, had to say goodbye to Mike,’ he said, catching up with her and slipping his arm around her waist. ‘Oh, hi, Brian! You going down to join the party?’
‘Well, I was but then I saw Kate leaving and thought I’d walk her home.’
‘Kind of you, but I’d already offered. You go and join the fun.’ Hamish’s arm tightened, drawing Kate closer to his body.
‘Oh, well, I guess I might as well,’ Brian said, and he walked slowly out of the shadows towards the beach.
Reluctantly, because standing hip to hip with Hamish was very comforting, Kate drew away from her rescuer.
‘I might have wanted to walk home with Brian,’ she told him, angry because she couldn’t handle the way Hamish changed from colleague to, well, some kind of lover with such consummate ease.
‘You could have said so,’ Hamish pointed out. ‘You could have said, “Thanks but, no, thanks, Hamish, I’m going home with Brian.”’
‘I wouldn’t have gone home with Brian,’ Kate retorted. ‘Not the way you make it sound.’
‘Even to avoid me? Because that’s what you’re doing, isn’t it, Kate?’
She heard his pain but had to argue.
‘It’s best that way.’
Hamish put his arm around her and drew her close again.
‘Is it? I don’t think so. And is it just me you’re avoiding or are you afraid to let anyone, even colleagues, get close to you in case you’re hurt again? Is that why you walked away from the fire? Is that why you’ve suddenly got doubts about finding your father?’
The Australian's Proposal (Mills & Boon By Request): The Doctor's Marriage Wish / The Playboy Doctor's Proposal / The Nurse He's Been Waiting For Page 11