“Being a doctor just didn’t turn out to be what I wanted to do long-term.” Pace shrugs.
“What did you want to do long-term?” I ask.
“Make a shitload of money. I work for the company that owns this place.” Pace grins. If there’s one thing you can say about the foul-mouthed Turner brother, it’s that he’s one hundred percent honest. “Seriously though, November. Where’d you resurface from? It’s been so long.”
It’s clear from the look on both of their faces that I haven’t exactly been a topic of recent conversation.
“So, you live one floor apart and I’ve never come up?” I eye Adrian, who looks out to the harbor.
“Oh, you’ve come up all right.” Pace crosses his arms in front of his chest, tucking his fingers under his armpits.
“Shut it, Pace,” Adrian commands.
Silence befalls the previously light atmosphere. That’s my cue.
“Well, I’m going to take a shower.” I clear my throat and disappear into the bathroom.
When I’m dried and dressed, I find Pace alone in the living room, eating the omelet he was preparing when we walked in.
“Where’s Adrian?” I ask as I slide onto the stool next to Pace. I’ve always been comfortable around him. The big brother role exudes from his core; it’s nice to see that hasn’t changed in the last few years.
Pace sips his orange juice and watches me from the corner of his eye. “He went around the corner to grab you guys some bagels.”
“What gives, Pace? Tell me...before he comes back.” I know he’s holding something back, and it’s irritating.
“Well, obviously when you two broke up in college,” Pace launches in with little thought, “he was a mess for a while. After graduation, law school took up most of his time.”
“And bimbos.” I roll my eyes.
“Yeah, those too. Anyway, when he took the contract job with DROP, and saw that your organization was on the table, he became a nervous wreck. He thought about suggesting every organization but yours. I told him not to be such a fool, so he went for it. God,” Pace pauses and shakes his head, “you should have seen the sorry sight that walked into this apartment the day after you guys all went out—when he figured out something was going on with that Bo dude.”
My neck suddenly feels hot, and I look down.
“No, it’s OK, girl. Don’t worry. I told him he should have just gone right for you, but, you know how he is all “respectful” and whatnot.” Paces eye roll elicits a huge laugh from me.
“I take it you’re still single?” Monogamy, and relationships in general, were never Pace’s strong suit.
“You got it, baby.” He winks and brings his dishes to the sink. “I guess, given the fact that you’re here...things didn’t really ...”
“No, things with Bo didn’t pan out—so to speak.” I save Pace from his social fumble.
I spend the next several minutes telling Pace about everything that happened in Concord. Adrian walks in during the middle of it, but resigns himself to listening with his back turned, toasting our bagels. He slides my plate in front of me as my voice cracks around the details of the hotel room. I clear my throat several times in an attempt to sound composed, but the truth is, I’ll never get used to telling the story. Someday I’ll just have to stop. Adrian sweeps my hair away from the side of my neck, replacing it with his lips. Pace’s eyes leave mine for a moment as he studies his brother; when they return to me they’re different, softer. He believes in us—he always has.
“So, that’s it. That’s what the fuck I’m doing here.” I shoot Pace a wry smile.
“Thanks for clearing that up, November.” He chuckles and flashes a sexy, lopsided grin. It’s really a shame he won’t settle down. Well, I suppose it’s no shame for the hordes of women vying for his attention constantly. He stands to leave.
“Hey, before you go—remember Monica? She and her boyfriend Josh got engaged a few weeks ago. I’m throwing an engagement party for them at Finnegan’s in Barnstable—Fourth of July weekend. You should come.”
“I thought she didn’t like him,” Adrian spits out.
“No, it’s you she doesn’t care for. She loves Pace,” I tease. “You’re coming with me anyway, so it’s a non-issue. She’s over it.” I shrug.
Pace leaves, and Adrian and I finish our breakfast. I leave out the part about Pace telling me the emotional turmoil I inadvertently put Adrian through. Adrian heads to work, and I deal with my conference calls. Rae and Monica each call me once, but I ignore them both.
Chapter Twenty-One
“That was a great set, guys. Awesome work tonight.” I chug water backstage at Finnegan’s, grateful that I’ve made it all the way to Saturday night without having to talk to anyone about Ainsley and Bo. Judging by Rae’s appearance in the crowd tonight, however, I know my grace period is over.
After a few minutes of anxiously winding my mic cord, I look up to find myself alone with Regan. Josh hasn’t said much to me since the concert. I guess that’s to be expected; Monica seems to be his barometer for interactions with me lately.
“Nice work yourself, Ember.” Regan stares at me for an uncomfortable amount of time.
“Regan, I’m fine...really.”
“That was intense, Ember. After you left ...”
“Nope,” I stop him. “I have zero interest in the rest of that sentence. I don’t care what happened or didn’t happen. I saw what I saw with Ainsley, he knows about Adrian, it’s all settled.” I nervously tie my hair into a disastrous bun.
Regan’s shoulders sink with his long sigh.
“I see Rae’s here. I should go talk to her,” I cut in before he can tell me whatever was going to follow that sigh.
“Yeah, enough ignoring us—I gave you two days, I can’t do any more.” Monica busts through the door, Rae in tow.
Regan kisses Rae on the lips before excusing himself to the bar, leaving me alone with the firing squad.
“I’m sorry for ignoring you guys yesterday,” I start.
“No, you’re not. But you’re lucky I only called once. This one forced me to leave you alone.” Monica gestures to Rae.
“I don’t want to talk about what happened at your house, OK, Rae? Bo and I both said things...look, I just don’t want to talk about it. We’ve proven over the last several weeks that we can’t be friends.”
“Ember, stop,” Rae ceases my rant, “I just wanted to tell you that I get it. It’s all-or-nothing with you two, and nothing seems to be winning right now.” Her face isn’t as sad as the words she just let out. My brow crinkles for a second.
“OK, well, thank you. I don’t want things to change between us, though ...” I walk toward her.
“You’re not getting rid of me that easily.” Rae smiles and gives me a hug.
“Anyway, let’s talk engagement party. It’s going to be here, the Friday of Fourth of July weekend. Rae, you’ve gotta come. Also, Mon, I told Pace to come.”
“Pace Turner? How is that gorgeous asshole?” Monica laughs.
“He’s good. Dropped out of medical school and is making, quote, a ‘shitload’ of money, working for the company that owns The W. He lives there too; one floor above Adrian, of course.”
“Of course,” Monica snorts.
With all of my fires currently contained, I’m able to enjoy the rest of the night with my girlfriends, thankful Rae’s still on that list.
* * *
The next two weeks fly by with ease. Well, relative ease. I’ve been busy splitting my time between organizing Monica and Josh’s engagement party and spending time with Adrian. Our arrangement has been seamless thus far. He spends Sunday and Monday nights with me, we enjoy a decadent goodbye on Tuesday morning, and we see each other again Friday evenings.
My time at DROP has been uncomfortable at best. While Rae, Monica, and I have worked well together, few words pass between Bo and me. And, when they do, it’s typically in the form of email. I’ll update him on grants I’m pursuing
, and he’ll send me info on ones he’d like me to investigate. That’s. It. Except for the part that nearly every other day Ainsley Worthington and her clacky heels grace the halls of DROP when she brings Bo lunch. It’s not lost on me that he rarely goes out to lunch with her; but that detail only makes me grin as far as naive Ainsley’s concerned.
I, however, play a different game. It’s no game at all, really—Adrian just never comes around here. There’s no need for him to. If he did, it would be a clear sign that I’m trying to rub Bo’s face in something that I’m not. I’m happy with Adrian. Just a few years older than we were when we first dated, things are much smoother. Each of us are more confident in who we are as people; physically and emotionally.
Today is the dedication for DROP’s community center. I’m thrilled with how it’s turned out. Rae took me on a final tour yesterday, and the place is beautiful. As we stand inside the office—me, Monica, Rae, Bo, Carrie, David, and other DROP employees—it dawns on me that this is the last day for a long time that I’ll spend in Concord. I’ve been so busy, I haven’t paid attention. I let out an audible sigh, and everyone except Bo turns briefly in my direction. He knows. Monica discreetly squeezes my fingertips. She knows, too.
“Thank you all for coming today,” Bo speaks into the microphone, while the rest of us stand to either side of him. “The tireless hours put in by the people standing here with me have brought this center to life. A special thank you goes out to Carrie, November, and Monica from The Hope Foundation, who have uprooted their lives the last several weeks in order to get the center off the ground.” His voice is proud but stern. It’s all pomp, with loads of circumstance lingering in the background.
I notice his tight grip on the podium and cast my gaze to the crowd, where, naturally, I immediately spot Ainsley. Dripping in pearls and pretense, she beams at Bo through his speech.
“Choosing today for the dedication didn’t come out of nowhere,” Bo continues. “Today is the four-year anniversary of my parents’ death. My sister, Rae, and I wanted to give the date a new and promising meaning. You’ve all helped make that happen.”
Dizziness knocks me senseless as bile rises in my throat. I didn’t know the date. We never talked about it, and Rae never talks about it. I turn my head to the right and see Rae lean her head on David’s shoulder, dabbing her eyes with a tissue. Instantly, my vision clouds behind tears. I swallow hard and force a smile as the room erupts in applause.
Bo and Rae cut the ceremonial ribbon, and the crowd breaks into clutches of supporters wishing the Cavanaugh siblings well. I start toward Bo, intent on saying something congratulatory, but Ainsley beats me to him. This is the first time I’ve seen them in public together; and, judging by the way her arms fit perfectly around his neck—and his lips seem to fit perfectly on hers—they are together. Like, together I don’t like that it bothers me, and I curse myself for my own relationship double standard.
I clear my throat. “That was a great speech, Bo. I’m thrilled for you about this center. Your parents would be proud.” My cheeks burn, as he seems to stare right through me.
“Isn’t it great? I’m proud of him, too.” Ainsley squeezes her twiggy arm around his waist and kisses his cheek. Bo pulls his head away from her lips almost as soon as they make contact.
“Thank you, Ember. And, thank you for all of your hard work.” He smiles before his face greys a bit. “I know it’s been challenging to live in so many different places over the last few weeks.” Bo’s face is blank, but his eyes scream Boston. I offer a tight smile and walk away.
Seeking out Rae, I find her talking with her friends. She nods in my direction, and they scatter through the crowd. Wordlessly, I embrace her with all the force I can muster, tears spilling down my cheeks.
“What’s that for?” Rae pulls away, dabbing her eyes with her fingers.
“I had no idea that today was the anniversary, Rae. Bo and I never talked about it...I never asked.”
“Hey, it’s OK,” Rae takes my shoulders and pulls back, “it’s not something we harp on. It happened once, and we didn’t want it to happen every year, if you know what I mean. Like he said, we wanted it to mean something new—something hopeful.” Regan weaves through the crowd toward us and tenderly kisses Rae on the cheek.
“You two are so friggen cute, I can’t even stand it,” I change the subject, talking louder to drown the sound of Ainsley’s giggle from my ears. “Are you guys coming to the party tomorrow?” Monica and Josh’s engagement party is finally upon us, and I couldn’t be more grateful for the timing. I need a liquor release after the last few weeks.
“We are, but we won’t stay too long. Usually I spend this weekend holed up in my room somewhere, but Regan’s assured me it’s healthy to get out of the house.” Rae smiles up at Regan, who strokes her cheek and kisses the top of her head. He’s probably eight inches taller than she is, but her larger-than-life personality fills the gap.
“All right, kids, I’m heading out of here.” I rake a hand through my hair.
“Are you heading to Boston tonight?” Monica comes up behind me, linking her arm with mine.
“No, I’ve got lots to do to get ready for tomorrow.” I kiss her on the cheek. “See you then, bride-to-be.”
I return to the office to grab my bag and keys. The strap of my bag catches the arm of a chair, scattering the contents across the floor.
“Perfect,” I mumble as I sink to my knees and gather my belongings. I ignore the shadow suddenly standing over me, pretending I don’t know it’s him.
“Need some help?” I allow a glance upward and find Bo leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed. His silver tie is loosened, hanging carelessly from his black shirt. This is the first time we’ve been alone since sitting in my car in his driveway.
“No. Thanks, though.” I stand and brush myself off. “That was a great speech you gave today. I didn’t know today was ...” I trail off.
“Yeah, we didn’t really cover that, did we?” Bo bends over and picks up my lip gloss that landed next to his foot. He studies it between his thumb and forefinger before handing it back to me. Our hands touch for a moment, and we simultaneously clear our throats, forcing our hands apart.
“Thanks,” I manage.
“So, I guess we won’t be seeing each other for a while, huh? Now that the center’s open and all.” Inexplicably, he closes the door behind him. Out of the corner of my eye, I catch Monica’s wide-eyed stare through the window. I can’t break his gaze as he runs a hand through his hair. His eyes are more grey than blue today, taking on the emotion of the room.
“Guess not. Unless, of course, you’re coming to Monica and Josh’s engagement party tomorrow night.”
Why in God’s name did I just say that?
“Am I invited?”
“You’re friends with Josh, aren’t you? Come, it’ll be fun.”
You just can’t stop yourself.
“I’ll come.” He shrugs.
“Please don’t bring Ainsley,” I spit out before I can stop myself. Get. A. Grip.
Bo laughs as he tucks his hands into his pockets. “Don’t worry about Ainsley, Ember.” His eyes gleam as he says my name.
What the hell is that supposed to mean?
“OK, then. See you tomorrow, I guess.” I breeze past him and race to my car.
When I get to my apartment a couple hours later, I tear open my guitar case and play and write until my raw fingertips meet the sunrise.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Waking on my couch late Saturday morning, I find my comp notebook splayed open on my chest, and my guitar on the coffee table. I sit and stretch my neck side to side before examining my fingers. I’m sure I’ll have a blister or two before sundown. Placing the notebook on the table, I look at what I wrote last night.
I don’t know where we’re going, but can it be
somewhere good, baby, mmmhmm
The space between your heartbeat and mine
is filled with indecisio
n, fear, and time
I just can’t see past my own mistakes...
A knock on the door stops me from reading further. I toss the notebook on the table and open the door to find Adrian—looking rather tense.
“I called you all night, what the hell?” He brushes past me.
“Shit, I’m sorry, Adrian,” I hurry to my coffee table, “I was playing last night and didn’t want to be interrupted. I forgot to turn my phone back on when I was—”
“What the hell is this?” Adrian is aggravated as he picks up my notebook.
“My comp notebook—you’ve seen it before ...” I reach for it, pulse picking up pace, but he pulls it away.
“You also said you were going to get a new one.” He throws it down and puts his hands on his hips.
I stare for a few seconds, confused from my lack of sleep, conflicted feelings, and Adrian’s aggressive stance. I mentally flip through the last few conversations we’ve had and nothing suggests why he’d come in so threatening this morning.
“What’s going on, Adrian?” I place my guitar in the case and slide it under the couch.
“I hardly heard from you all week, Ember. Then I can’t get ahold of you last night, and I come in here this morning and you’ve got Cavanaugh’s present—” he stops himself and walks toward the door.
Now I’m pissed.
“Pardon me? Are you suggesting I’ve been cheating on you?” My actual voice is softer than the one in my head.
“What am I supposed to think?”
“What you’re supposed to think,” I walk toward him with clenched fists, “is that I’m honest, and I would never do something like that. Yesterday was the center’s opening. We were busy as hell all week. Last night I was exhausted and stressed—you know what? I’m not going to explain myself to you. You’re being ridiculous.” Throwing my arms in the air, I walk into the kitchen to make coffee.
How dare he insinuate that my lack of attention had to do with Bo? I was busy with work, and avoiding Bo, and getting ready for Monica and Josh’s engagement party, and avoiding Bo.
Reckless Abandon (November Blue, #2) Page 14