by Val Wood
She glanced at Polly, who was in the same situation yet didn’t seem at all perturbed. There are different rules, Rosalie thought. Polly hasn’t had to follow the same path of convention, nor has she been taught to keep her emotions and feelings under control; and although I’m sure she is virtuous, she hasn’t had to consider the moral path as I have.
She gave a sudden start as she thought of her father, and what he would have to say if he should hear that she had been alone with a man, a man who had held her tight within his arms.
‘Are you all right, Rosalie?’ Sonny eased away from her and loosened his arms. He had felt her flinch as if she had been burned or scorched, and with a sudden awareness he knew that he shouldn’t have stood so near. He had felt her hair on his face, seen her slender neck as he’d placed the blanket round her. It will not do, he thought. I’ve embarrassed her. Perhaps she thinks I’ve dishonoured her, and that was not my intention. He stood back. ‘Are you warmer now?’
She looked away from him. ‘Yes, thank you,’ she murmured.
‘Please don’t be distressed.’ His voice was low so that the others couldn’t hear. ‘I only wanted to keep you from catching a chill. See how the horses stand so close. That is what animals do to keep warm. The heat from their bodies ...’
His words trailed away. What was the use, he thought impatiently. She has been ruined by pious dignity, never been allowed self-expression; will never be permitted to make her own decisions. She will fit into the slot which her father and her mother chose for her the moment she was born.
‘Are you angry with me?’ she said quietly.
‘What?’ he muttered. ‘Angry? Why would I be angry?’ But he was.
‘I don’t know,’ she said. ‘I just felt that you were.’
She gazed at him. A shiver ran down her spine, but it was something other than the cold. Something she had never experienced before; she was unsure what it meant.
She took hold of his hand. ‘I find that I am still very cold after all,’ she murmured. ‘Would you ...’
She placed his hand on her waist and, though he frowned, instinctively he drew her closer.
‘Are you sure?’ he whispered in her ear.
‘Oh, yes,’ she breathed. ‘I am. I’m very cold indeed.’
Howard was puzzled. Sonny was standing very close to Rosalie and they were murmuring something, but he couldn’t hear what. It seems very odd, he thought. They seem so intimate, and yet I assumed that he and Polly ... Sonny told me that he had promised her mother he would look after Polly. Always, he said. And he said he had met a lovely woman to die for. Didn’t he mean—
He stood still, barely breathing. Did he not mean Polly after all? He gave an intake of breath. He meant Rosalie! Not Polly. Not my Polly, whom I adore!
‘Howard,’ Polly said. ‘What’ll happen to Edwin? Did he intend to hurt Sam, or was it an accident?’
She’s still so young, so immature, he thought affectionately. Not ready for a commitment. But I can wait.
‘An accident, I think,’ he hedged. ‘Look, the sky’s brightening. Another half-hour or so and we’ll be able to move off.’
Polly turned within his arms and lifted her face to his. ‘Thank you for rescuing us,’ she said and reached up to kiss his cheek. She smiled. ‘However would we have got home without you?’
He grinned down at her and patted her cheek. ‘Always at your service, madam. Always ready to rescue you.’
When they reached Nab Farm, hot baths were prepared and Rosalie and Polly were sent upstairs to bathe before having supper brought up to them in bed.
‘What bliss.’ Polly pulled her white cotton nightgown over her head and climbed between the sheets. ‘Do you feel all right?’ she called to Rosalie. ‘Are you warm now?’
‘Oh, yes!’ Rosalie called back. ‘I feel absolutely fine.’
A few minutes later Polly’s door opened and Rosalie came in. ‘Can I get in with you?’ Without waiting for an answer, she took off her dressing robe and climbed in beside her. ‘I want to ask you something.’
She took a breath. ‘Have you ever been in love, Polly? You’ve lived a different life from me and I don’t know how it would feel to fall in love with someone. I’ve always lived such a sheltered existence.’
Polly gazed at her with wide open eyes. ‘I’m not sure,’ she said. ‘Not when I was young, I didn’t,’ she said.
‘But you’re only young now,’ Rosalie laughed.
‘Yes, but now I’m a bit older I’ve got different feelings from when I was a child. It’s to do with ’flux, I think,’ she said seriously. ‘You start to feel different about everything once that’s started, and sometimes I feel all churned up inside as if I’m waiting for something to happen. Something nice, I mean.’
‘Yes,’ Rosalie said slowly. ‘So do you think it’s something physical? That churning? And it’s got nothing to do with meeting someone whom you think you might fall in love with? It’s a hypothetical question, of course,’ she added hastily. ‘I’m not speaking of real people.’
Polly gave a wide grin. She’d seen how close Sonny had been standing to Rosalie. Seen how they’d whispered together. And she knew, too, Sonny’s secret.
’Hi-pathetical!’ she teased. ‘I’m not sure what that means; but I think if you meet somebody and you get that churning feeling when he’s there, then,’ she paused, ‘I think ‘chances are that you probably do love him.’
The front door slammed and they heard Luke shout something and then another door slammed. They looked at each other.
‘Do you think Luke and Edwin are having a set-to?’ Polly said. ‘Edwin wasn’t in when we arrived back, at least not unless he was in his room.’
‘Perhaps he’s been sent off in disgrace,’ Rosalie whispered. ‘How will he ever be able to face society again after getting a servant girl into trouble?’
‘Never mind him,’ Polly said fiercely. ‘How will Dora ever face anybody again?’
After breakfast the next day, Anna asked Mrs Moody to ask Mrs Browning, the cook, to come upstairs as she wanted to speak to her. Mrs Moody looked askance at this as she generally passed on any messages to Cook.
‘Please stay,’ Anna said to Rosalie and Polly. ‘I’d like your opinion after I’ve spoken to Mrs Browning.’
Cook was tall and thin as a stick. She hardly ever ate, not even at the servants’ mealtimes, being always too busy dishing up and making sure everyone else was well fed.
‘Mrs Browning,’ Anna said, ‘I want to ask your opinion of Dora. Is she, do you think, a reliable sort of girl? I’m not speaking of her present difficulties, but of how she is around the house and kitchen.’
‘Aye, she is, ma’am. Well, when Mrs Moody’s not about she is. If the housekeeper’s there she gets into a bit of a pickle. I think the lass is scared of her sharp tongue, just like all the maids are,’ she added.
‘That’s exactly what I thought,’ Anna said when Cook had gone. ‘Dora works well except under Mrs Moody’s rule.’
‘What are you planning, Aunt Anna?’ Rosalie asked. ‘Have you something in mind for Dora?’
‘I have if my husband agrees and if Dora is willing. I’d like her to go to my farm. There are only two men living in and they need very little attention. There’s a cook who comes in daily to prepare their dinner and supper, and a general maid who sleeps in. Dora could live in too and look after the place. And she could keep the baby there.’ She sighed. ‘But it depends on what’s to be done about Edwin. Luke has to make a big decision.’ She sighed again and then gave a sudden start. ‘Rosalie! I quite forgot with all the fuss yesterday. A letter came for you by the second post. I think it might be from your father.’
The letter was lying on a plate on the hall table. Rosalie picked it up and, recognizing her father’s handwriting, took it back into Anna’s sitting room.
‘It is from Papa,’ she smiled. ‘I was beginning to think he’d forgotten me.’
Anna handed her a paper knife to open the enve
lope and she withdrew two sheets of notepaper. She put them to her nose and sniffed. Mm! Rose water, she thought.
My dear Rosalie [the letter began],
I apologize for the length of time which has elapsed since the promise of a letter. I regret also that a soldier’s life is so consumed with activities that I was hindered in my duty of writing to you, my dearest daughter.
I trust that your life at Nab Farm continues satisfactorily and that you afford your uncle and aunt every consideration and gratitude which is their due for giving you a home. I hope too that you have now come to terms with your mother’s untimely death. She had a satisfactory though relatively short life and we, that is you and I, must continue with ours as she would surely have wished.
I have decided therefore that when my mourning period is over I shall marry again. There is a widow of a fellow officer, a Mrs Sherwood, to whom I have formed an attachment; her mourning seclusion is over and I have asked her if she will do me the honour of becoming my wife in the near future. I understand that she cannot take the place of your own mother, but, caring and charming as she is and mother to her own delightful children, she will, I am sure, find a place in your affections once you know her. To this end I wish you to prepare yourself to come to Aldershot before the winter to take up residence with her and her family. I am shortly leaving for abroad and when I return in the spring, when propriety concedes it appropriate, we shall be married.
There was more but Rosalie put down the letter. Her eyes roamed the room without seeing the contents or inhabitants of it. Marry again! So soon! How could he? She shook her head. And he wants me to live with her!
‘I won’t,’ she said, and Anna and Polly gazed curiously at her. ‘I won’t!’
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
‘What?’ Polly asked curiously. ‘You won’t what?’
‘Papa is going to marry again and he wants me to go and live with this Mrs Sherwood until it’s proper for them to marry! I won’t go to Aldershot and live with this woman.’ Rosalie’s voice rose. ‘I won’t.’
‘If your father says you must go, then go you must,’ Anna said quietly. ‘You’re too young to make the decision to stay.’ Her voice dropped. ‘But for him to marry again so soon after your mother’s death ...’ She was visibly shocked by the revelation. ‘And this woman he is to marry – how long has she been widowed?’
‘I don’t know, but I can’t go, Aunt Anna,’ Rosalie said tearfully. ‘How can I live with a woman I don’t know?’
‘But you didn’t know Luke,’ Anna reminded her, ‘and yet you came here; and perhaps that is why your father wants you to live with her, so that you can get to know her.’
‘But Uncle Luke was a relative,’ Rosalie wailed. ‘And besides, I had Polly with me. Mrs Sherwood is a complete stranger who’s going to marry my father and I shall probably have to play nursemaid to her children! I must speak to Uncle Luke and ask him if I can stay here.’
‘I don’t know where he is, my dear,’ Anna said. ‘He’s gone looking for Edwin. They had harsh words last night and Luke told him they must resolve the dilemma today.’ She pressed her lips together. ‘But this morning Luke discovered that Edwin had gone out. He’s taken his horse and according to Amos he went off before dawn. I’m very worried about both of them. I just hope that Luke doesn’t lose his temper when he finds him. He threatened to horsewhip him, but I don’t think ... no, of course he won’t.’
‘Oh.’ Rosalie’s hopes of getting Luke on her side were dashed. ‘I don’t want to trouble him when he has so much on his mind.’
Polly wore a sceptical expression. She said nothing, rather hoping that Edwin might get what he deserved, but she was unnerved by Rosalie’s news. What would she do if Rosalie’s father insisted that her friend went to live in Aldershot? Mark Kingston wouldn’t include her, she was sure; she had seen it in his eyes when she had met him at the wedding. He knew she wasn’t a suitable companion for his daughter.
Howard came into the dining room, followed by Sonny. ‘Hello!’ Howard said. ‘I wondered where everybody was. Late breakfast?’
Howard and Sonny had risen early and the two of them had been repairing fences.
‘I’m looking for Luke,’ Howard went on. ‘I need to ask him what we’re doing about the shoot at the weekend. I’ve heard the guns already over at Goathland. We’ll need to move the sheep if we’re having folks up here.’
‘Oh, heavens,’ Anna said. ‘I’d forgotten! Haven’t you seen Luke?’ she asked in concern. ‘He went to find Edwin. He’s been gone some time.’
Howard blew out his cheeks. ‘No. And we’ve been out since six. Would you like me to look for him – them?’
‘I’m sure they’ll be all right,’ Anna said nervously. ‘It’s just that he was rather angry when he went out. He and Edwin had words last night over the Sam and Dora incident. There’s fresh coffee, Sonny, if you’d like it,’ she added, always the gracious hostess. ‘We’re lingering. We’re having a strange morning what with one thing and another. I’m bothered about Luke, and Rosalie – well.’ She stopped, as if realizing that Rosalie might not want to discuss her father’s ultimatum.
Sonny poured himself a cup of coffee and came to sit near Rosalie at the table.
‘Has something upset you?’ he asked quietly.
Rosalie nodded. ‘Yes. I’ve just realized that I am not mistress of my own life but still a child,’ she said rather bitterly. ‘Even though I consider myself to be grown up.’
‘Indeed,’ Sonny agreed. ‘Putting up one’s hair does not a grown woman make.’ He smiled at her. ‘Circumstances can give liberation, and childhood is but fleeting.’
‘At what age would you consider childhood to be passed?’ she asked him in a low voice. ‘Apart from the obvious, of course, when a child is dependent upon its mother for food and shelter.’
Sonny pursed his lips. ‘That’s a difficult question. For instance, I know that Polly has been grown up since she was twelve or thirteen, when she started work and began to earn her own living. For someone like you, bearing in mind that you could marry with consent, childhood would be behind you at sixteen, and the advantage of an education would hasten the onset of adulthood. If you’d attended to your lessons, that is,’ he added teasingly. ‘Is there a reason for the question?’ he asked when she didn’t smile at his joke.
‘Oh, yes,’ she said. ‘There is.’ She began to tell him of the contents of her father’s letter, whilst Polly watched them solemnly from across the table.
Perhaps I could be a lady’s maid, Polly told herself silently. Though I don’t think I’d like that. Not to some toffee-nosed woman who only cared about her clothes and her looks. I’ve been spoiled now with ’freedom that I’ve enjoyed here at Nab Farm. Would Anna keep me on? I’d be happy to work for her, though she doesn’t seem to require a personal maid; she’s perfectly capable of looking after herself.
Sonny closed his eyes as he deliberated on what to say to Rosalie. It was too soon to declare his intentions, and in his present precarious financial position he was in no doubt that Rosalie’s father would dismiss him out of hand. He had been offered a chance of a commission in Italy, which might lead to other work, but it could take years to become established. He felt totally despondent. Rosalie was too young to know her own mind and he wouldn’t want her to consider marrying him only to escape the pressure of her father’s demands.
‘Could you, erm – could you forestall him?’ he said in an undertone. ‘Tell him that you have made other arrangements?’
He saw the puzzlement in her eyes and attempted to clarify his vague suggestion. ‘Perhaps say that you’re needed here for some reason or other?’
‘Like what?’ she said in frustration. ‘I’m never needed! I’m not like Polly who is so practical and sensible. I’m totally dispensable!’
‘Oh, my dear.’ Anna had heard her outburst. ‘That is just not true.’ She glanced at the three of them sitting glumly at the table and at Howard, who was helping himself to
a second breakfast at the sideboard, totally unaware of this other dilemma.
She huffed out a breath. ‘We were not going to tell anyone just yet; Luke and I agreed that we’d wait a little longer. Elizabeth knows, but Clementina doesn’t and nor does Edwin. We were not sure how they would take the news.’
Polly’s face lit up. Brilliant! She’ll need a nursemaid!
‘What, Aunt?’ Rosalie asked. ‘Is it good news?’
Anna smiled. ‘It’s excellent news. I’m expecting a child.’
Howard put down his plate and Sonny pushed back his chair and stood up; both went towards her.
‘I’m delighted,’ Howard said and kissed her hand. Sonny too, bent over her.
‘It’s wonderful news,’ he smiled.
Rosalie and Polly looked at each other. Their eyes gleamed, but for different reasons.
‘We must take great care of you, Mrs Kingston,’ Polly said, and tears came unbidden to her eyes as she thought of her own mother. ‘Great care.’
‘I’m thrilled, Aunt Anna,’ Rosalie murmured, finding herself unexpectedly embarrassed. ‘Are you pleased?’
‘Oh, yes.’ Anna laughed. ‘I always wanted lots of children, but after my first husband’s death I never thought my wish would be granted.’
‘So ...’ Rosalie heaved a breath and dared, ‘So may we stay and look after you? Polly and I?’
‘I was hoping that you would,’ Anna said softly. ‘For a little while anyway. At least until the birth, which will be early spring, and then, well, who knows what you might like to do afterwards? You will no doubt have dreams of your own to fulfil, but you are always welcome here.’