When the raiders returned they brought back quite a few things; shampoo and conditioner, soap, some clothes from a store, grabbing everything they had in stock. They also got a few razors and deodorant. You never realize how much you miss these things until you don’t have them. I would have put in a request for a bathing suit if I’d known people had gone out. Instead we, or should I say I, found out about it an hour after they returned.
“Ian.” Dane said, pausing before he finished. “I want to search areas on the wide perimeter. This trip is going to take a couple of weeks, because it’s also a recon mission. We need to know the number of Infected in our area so we can be prepared if any more of them migrate our way.”
Ian nodded, eyes distant.
Dane continued. “You can round up a few guys and take off tomorrow.”
“Are you sure you want me to go?” Ian asked, looking over at me.
“You know you’re the only one I can send on these kinds of missions. The short ones, I don’t mind sending out others, but you’re the only one who seems to be able to handle the longer runs.”
“Yeah, all right.” He reluctantly agreed.
In the time we’ve been here, it was clear that Ian did most of the critical errands. They’ve tried to send others out, but most of them lost half of what they found, or ate most of the important items. They couldn’t be counted on like Ian, and Dane knew it.
By the end of the conversation, it was agreed that Ian would go, and he’d take Michael, Zack, Luke, and Dustin along for help.
That night, I sat quietly in our room after Azami fell asleep, thinking about Ian out there in danger. Now that we found this new breed of Infected, a trip like this seemed suicidal. I was thankful James had his sight when we ran into them, his warning system probably saved our lives. If we hadn’t been with him, they would have found me and Azami, and we would’ve been eaten just like that poor dog. I couldn’t stop those images from running through my mind, only now, instead of the dog as their victim, I saw Ian.
“How are you doing?” Ian asked. Seeing me in my trance half the evening had him looking worried.
I mustered up the best smile I could, even though it felt false on my lips. “Fine. I’m just not comfortable with the idea of you being out there, but I know you have to go. Do you think we can come with you? I could help with the…” I couldn’t finish the sentence. He was already shaking his head at me.
Ian moved and sat next to me on the bed. “I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to you, let alone Azami.” He ran his hand down the side of my cheek. “Believe me, I would love it if you came, but the situation this time is not going to be safe. We’re not sure what we’ll even find out there.”
That’s exactly what had me so uneasy. I understood, but it still sucked beyond all belief to have to sit back and let him go. “I get it. I just don’t have a good feeling about you leaving.” My stomach twisted, as if it wanted to eat itself.
“Don’t worry. I’ve done this a thousand times. I’ll be back in a few weeks and everything will be fine.” He was trying to reassure me, but his words didn’t help shake my reluctance. Something kept nagging me.
I nodded and leaned into him as he wrapped his arms around me. He held me until I was almost asleep, cradling me against his chest. His heartbeat sounded strong and sure, pulling me under into a dreamless sleep.
~~~~~~
The next morning, the search party woke before dawn to get the rest of their supplies ready. They each wore long pants, short sleeve shirts, and a pack, one that looked army issued. They carried rolled up blankets, food, water, and any other supplies that they may need while they were out. I sat against the wall of the cavern, watching Ian and Michael checking their bags, making sure they remembered everything.
All the while, Ian stole small glances in my direction. His masculine beauty had a way of lighting me up from the inside out. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. Every time he caught me staring, his sky blues twinkled with mischief. His movements flowed as smooth as water running through a stream. His shirt stretched tight against his arms and shoulders as he loaded his pack. He was breathtaking.
I wondered though, if they were already carrying so much, how would they bring more home?
“Ian? How are you going to collect more things when you have so much to carry already?”
Ian smiled as he walked over to where I was sitting. “Because we’re not walking. On long raids like these, we take the Explorer.”
My eyebrows rose, surprised. “You have an Explorer?”
“Well, technically, we have an Explorer and a station wagon.”
I smiled at him. “So someone else brought the Explorer here?”
“Of course; Me. We use it when we have to travel long distances. We try not to use it to much, since we don’t know how much longer we’ll be able to find gas, but that’s how we’re going to bring more stuff back. We have a trailer, like a U-Haul, that hooks to the back so we can put stuff in that too. It’s important that we haul as much as we possibly can on these long raids because you never know how long things are going to last.”
“Oh, alright. Just wondering.” Ian smiled as he ran his hand down my hair and under my chin. He leaned down and pressed his soft lips against mine.
“I have to finish packing.” He said, excusing himself.
I nodded and watched him walk back to where Michael was finishing up his pack. They conversed a bit more and threw a few more things together until finally, they all huddled up and said their goodbyes to everyone.
Ian took his time telling me goodbye with simple caring touches and told me not to worry, that he would be back faster than I could miss him because he couldn’t stand the thought of being away from me for so long.
Yeah, right.
I handed Azami over to him, the gesture still shocking him into silence. He looked at me in awe and then held her close, hugging her to his chest while she whined about him having to leave. All the time they spent together, he spoiled her rotten.
“I don’t want you to dgoo. I wiwl miss you.” She told him, her little arms hugging him tightly around the neck.
Ian smiled down at her. “I know, baby girl. I’ll see you soon. I…” He paused looking at me, searching my eyes, unsure of his next words. “I’ll… miss you.”
She pulled tighter on his neck. “I wuve you.” She whispered in his ear and then kissed his cheek.
Ian’s eyes took on a glassy appearance. He whispered back to her just as quietly, both of them having their first moment. “I love you, too, Angel.”
She slips down his body to the ground and takes off after James. James had given a quick side hug and fist bump to Ian before strutting off. He’s getting way too big for me to handle.
Ian latched an arm around my waist and pulled me to him, putting his lips to my ear, causing shivers to run the length of my spine. “You are so gorgeous. At least I can see where our daughter gets it from.” He made a deep sound in the back of his throat, before nuzzling my neck under my ear.
Addressing Azami as our daughter had me panting. It was such a turn on for him to want me for having his child.
“I’ll miss you.” I whispered against his cheek, then he turned and walked out, looking back only once to smile.
He was gone a whole thirty seconds before I started missing him. I remained against the wall, thinking. I couldn’t kick the trepidation coursing throughout my body. My heightened warning system was going off, and I certainly didn’t want Ian going off with the Infected when every pore in my body told me to keep him close.
I was deep in thought when I heard a familiar voice repeating my name.
“Lil? Lil? You in there?” I looked up and Mason was standing over me, a look of concern weighed heavily on his brows.
“Yeah, sorry. I was thinking about Ian.” I stood up and wiped the dust off my clothes.
Mason’s smile faltered slightly when I mention Ian’s name. “He’ll be fine.” He reassured me.
“My anxiety just keeps growing. It’s like something is going to happen and I can sense it. I’m uncomfortable with them being out there.”
“How long have you been feeling like this?” Mason looked concerned. “You’re not in pain, are you?”
“No, no pain. Just uneasiness. Nausea. Sometimes dizzy, but not enough to make me sit down or anything. I’ve been feeling this way since yesterday.”
Mason was nodding, thinking. “Was it around the same time Dane asked Ian if he would go on the raid? Maybe it’s just jitters, being nervous for him?”
“Yeah, you’re probably right. I think I’m going to go take a nap. It might help. Will you tell Dane I’m not feeling well and I’ll do my part in the garden later tonight? And let James know he has Azami until I wake up?”
“Of course. Dane expected you to take the morning off anyhow. Most people do if their… companion leaves on a raid. Everyone gets the jitters.” He smiled at me warmly. “Let me walk you to your door, my lady.” He offered me his arm.
My smile grew wide as I took his elbow. Mason always had a way of making me smile, a quirky sense of humor. We reached my door and I pulled the curtain aside, thanking Mason for walking me. As I turned to walk inside, he caught my arm.
“Lil… um…” His eyes were full of confusion and a bit of panic.
“What is it?”
He fixed his eyes on me and for a second I wondered if he was going to tell me how he felt. He looked like he wanted to, but all he said was, “Ian will be fine. They all will. They’ll be back before you know it.” His lips held a fake smile.
“Thanks, Mason.”
My heart broke a little for him. I enjoyed his company so much, I didn’t want this to come between us and our friendship. Maybe if he told me how he felt, it would help. Ian and I just started to discover what we could have, what maybe we should have had if we had met under normal circumstances.
“Mason.” I said before entering the room. “Is that all you wanted to say?” He looked at me, his eyes opening wider. He has no idea that I know. “You just looked like you wanted to say something else is all.” I prompted him.
He paused a moment before he answered, “No. No, I just wanted to reassure you. Ian’s done this plenty of times. He knows what he’s doing.”
I nodded. “Thanks again, for everything, Mason.”
“My pleasure.” He smiled and turned to walk down the tunnel.
I closed the curtain behind me and tossed myself on the mattress. It still smelled like Ian, a warm breeze of campfire. I covered myself up with a blanket and placed my head sideways to keep my nose by Ian’s pillow. It didn’t take long for me to fall asleep. It also didn’t take me long to start dreaming.
The dream was a rerun of today. Waking up, watching Ian leave, and talking with Mason, everything down to me falling asleep. Then everything went dark for a second, but I could tell I was still dreaming, like when the lights go out in a room when a play begins. I could hear muffled sounds, as if a hand were covering a mouth, a stifled voice in the air around me, echoing. I couldn’t figure out where the noise came from. My equilibrium was off, like I was spinning in the darkness. Soon, a hint of light appeared, only showing me flashes of a struggle―two people trying to gain control over one another. I couldn’t see faces or make out their identities, but finally, a hard blow from one dark figure had the other on the ground, limp.
Everything started spinning wildly. I couldn’t control it. I heard a voice calling me. “Lil! Lil, wake up!”
James.
I turned in bed moaning, trying to pull my eyes to the front of my head so I could see the voice I knew so well.
“Lil! Wake up! I heard you moaning and making weird noises. Lil, can you hear me?”
My eyes flickered open, attempting to focus on James’s face. “Oh.” I said holding my head. “I had a bad dream… and then I started spinning. Now my head aches. How long have I been sleeping?” I looked to him slightly confused.
“Only a little while. Mason told me you came to lay down after Ian left.”
“Mommy!” Azami squealed as she jumped on the bed.
“Hey, baby girl. Are you having fun?”
“Yes.”
“Are you being a good girl for your Uncle James?” The word slipped out before I had a chance to catch it.
James cocked his head toward me and smiled.
“Yes.” She smiled up at James adoringly.
“Sorry. You don’t mind, do you? I figured you’re around so much...”
James held his hand up to stop me, “Of course not. I love her as much as family.” If he only knew.
“I miss Een.” Azami whined.
I pulled her into my lap and hugged her tight. “I know, baby. Me too. But, he’ll be back very soon.”
“Otay!” She jumped up. Her baby voice and her mispronunciations were so damned cute.
I turn back to James and asked, “Have you been able to see them?”
He nodded. “Yeah, they’re driving. It only comes in flashes, but everything seems fine.”
“I can’t get over this overwhelming feeling of dread. I think I’m going to stay here for a while longer. Will you come and wake me if I don’t get up before dinner?”
James nodded. “Hope you have sweet dreams.”
Azami kissed my cheek before taking James’s hand, closing the curtain on their way out.
James was becoming a very handsome young man. When we first met, he was such a little boy, but now he walked tall, and with confidence. He had obviously been picking up some of his brothers swagger. I smiled to myself as I fell back to sleep, but this time I dreamt of James and Azami and how happy they’ve been since we’ve arrived. This was the best decision we could have made, coming here. His connection to Ian was remarkable. They were so cute together. Ian tried to parent him and James rolled his eyes every time.
I woke up before dinner, feeling better than I had earlier. The uneasiness was still there, but it subsided to only a pinch in my stomach. I ran into James and Azami in the tunnel on their way to wake me. I couldn’t believe I’d spent all day sleeping. I must have needed the rest.
“Hey, sleepy head,” He said, meeting me halfway down the tunnel.
“Hey.” I answered, smiling at the two of them.
“I see you’re feeling better.”
“I am. So, what’s for dinner?” I wasn’t really hungry, more curious than anything. Bread might help settle my stomach.
“Tonight is potato soup, bread, and veggies. The veggies might be mixed with the soup.” James made a disgusted face. He didn’t like vegetables much, but he ate every bite, knowing food could not be wasted.
“Are you hungry too?” I asked Azami as I picked her up.
“Yes.” She said. Unlike James, Azami loved her vegetables, broccoli being her new favorite. She marched them around the table as talking trees.
“I think I’ll just eat bread. My stomach still feels a bit queasy.”
We entered the kitchen and sat down at one of the far benches. Everyone else was almost done eating, so I scanned the room to see who remained.
“Where’s Jen and Mason?” I wondered out loud.
“Oh, they’re washing up. Mason did your gardening today so you wouldn’t have to do it later tonight or double up tomorrow. He said you didn’t feel well enough to do it. Jen pitched in, seeding after he dug.”
“They didn’t have to do that.” I protested and started to rise.
“Just thank them.” James cut it, pulling me back to my seat. “You needed a break. I know you don’t like to rely on other people, but let them do this. It was a nice gesture.”
James’s eyes kept me in place. He was right, I didn’t like to rely on anyone else, and it was really nice of them. James, Azami, and I had just finished getting our food and sitting down when Jen and Mason walked in. They wore wide smiles, which grew wider when they saw me sitting at the table.
“Did you have to drag her out of bed, James?”
Mason laughed, sitting opposite of me.
“No. Actually, she met me halfway down the hall.” James said in my defense.
Mason’s face grew more serious. “How are you feeling? James told me about your nightmare. You want to talk about it?”
“Maybe later,” I said in a low voice, remembering the chill that went along with that dream. I definitely didn’t want to talk about it in front of Azami.
“Well, at least you’re eating.” Jen broke in.
“Yeah. Just bread for me, though. I don’t think I could hold anything else down. I’m still a bit woozy, but I feel a lot better than before. Thanks you two, for doing my chores today. You didn’t have to do that.” I blushed, feeling some embarrassment.
“Don’t even worry about it.” Jen reassured me. “Just remember though, when I want a day off, you owe me.” She laughs. “I’m going to get some dinner. You coming Mason?”
He nodded at her, but was still watching me. My flush deepened and a small smile turned at the corner of his lips. He jumped up and met Jen over by the kitchen. They served themselves a good portion of dinner and returned to their seats.
The conversation held nice and steady. Crops were coming in well. A batch of corn would be done soon. We talked about another game of volleyball, or just relaxing in the hot tub, but I didn’t feel like doing either. My stomach rolled each time someone mentioned anything that involved fast movement, or being really hot. It would be nice to sit outside under the stars, in the cool breeze. I couldn’t remember the last time I sat under the sky, outside these cave walls, just to watch the stars.
I’d wondered off in my thoughts again, only vaguely hearing the others talking. Jen and James were in a conversation, but I couldn’t concentrate enough to know what they were saying. Azami was off in her own little world. She had such a wild imagination.
Mason reached over and touched my wrist with the tips of his fingers, drawing my eyes to him. “What are you thinking?”
Flash Series (Book 1): Infected Page 14