I didn’t know what I was doing, but I definitely figured it out quickly. Shaking, I pushed away from him by his chest, and before I could see the hurt, the anguish move over his face, I took my feet in the opposite direction.
I didn’t run, but my feet were moving pretty close to that speed. I made it to the door, and the clouds, suddenly so dark and foreboding, opened up before I could even cross the threshold. The ranch covered in a thick downpour, thunder crashing around me, as if attempting to trap me here. To make me deal with this, him, and the constant fight I was making in hopes to protect him; keep him and his life safe from her. I fought to my breaking point and actually pushed off the door to head into the storm.
His hand encircling my arm didn’t let me leave. He didn’t pull, but simply held me there.
“We said we wouldn’t hurt each other,” he said.
My eyes were watering when I closed them, and when I turned, shaking, the tears had bled through, running down my cheeks.
He touched the wetness on my face, and I reluctantly opened my eyes. The look I knew would rip me apart lined his face, the one so handsome, so beautiful. Now, it was shattered severely, and I did that to him. Tanya didn’t do that.
I did.
He put his other hand on cheek, his warm forehead resting against mine. His breath moved over my mouth, and he closed his eyes tight. “Talk to me,” he whispered, his voice strained, retched. “Talk to me, baby. Trust me. Please.”
I gasped and pushed my arms around his waist, and it was all I could do to remain standing. I couldn’t stop shaking and I couldn’t stop crying. No matter how hard I tried. “I’m sorry, Griffin. I’m so sorry.”
He was shaking, too. I felt it moving through his arms when he wrapped them around me. All the while he whispered, “Talk to me.”
With a rasped breath, I pulled back, but only slightly. Tremors moved through my hands as I placed them on his cheeks. “She said she’d destroy you.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Griffin
Her hands trembled on my face, the rest of her body feeling two shakes from collapsing in my arms. There was genuine fear in her eyes, and my heart dropped into the depths, settling somewhere in the pit of my stomach. I didn’t understand. Who had my Roxie so scared? So scared she wouldn’t tell me what’s wrong.
“What is it?” I asked her, urging her. “Who said that? When?”
Another thunderclap hit, and she twitched in my arms. I held her tight, not letting her fall, and the tears rolling down her cheeks battered my insides.
“Tanya,” she gasped, sniffling back tears. “She came by my place after you left. The night of the bake sale.”
What she was telling me fired up my insides. A red haze blinded my vision, and the constant rolling thunder outside didn’t help me regain any clarity. It only drummed my heart more.
Tanya… she spoke to her? I grabbed Roxie’s arms, lifting her to me. “What did she say?”
She shook her head, gasping for air in my arms. “I’m sorry, Griffin. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I was just so scared. She said she’d tell.” Her words were muffled by the tears she was crying. She swallowed hard. “She said she’d tell about all the things you accepted. Those gifts. She threatened to ruin your career if I didn’t break up with you.”
I heard her out. I did, but honestly, I didn’t give a shit about Tanya’s threats. Whether they were empty or not, they came secondary to what they were making me and Roxie deal with now. She felt she couldn’t talk to me about this, even after we told each other we’d deal with any problems together. I knew that was in regards to her past, but she had to know that extended to me as well. My past demons. We agreed not to compare ourselves to the other. Not to measure our pasts against the other. But when push came to shove, she chose to handle things on her own. To give us up in hopes of protecting me.
“Roxie, look at me.” I shook her shoulders, and her eyes flashed to mine. It was hard being forceful with her, but she had to understand. She had to know what I was about to say. “You don’t try to handle things by yourself, you hear me? You don’t play savoir. You gotta trust in me, Roxie. Trust that we’ll be able to handle issues together. If you don’t…” I placed my hands on her cheeks, her skin so wet with tears. “If you don’t, we just won’t work, baby.”
She was just about broken in my arms, shaking and clenching my shirt. It hurt having to be so real with her, but it was true. How could we be together if we didn’t hold faith in one another? It would only cause us to argue, to be in constant battle with the other.
She nodded, sniffling. “I know. I’m so sorry, Griffin. You… I understand if you’ve changed your mind about us. I… I get it.”
God, this fucking girl.
I snatched her up by her waist, bringing my lips down hard on hers. I wanted her to feel it everywhere throughout her entire body.
Her legs gave out from underneath her, and I knew I accomplished my goal. She had to push her arms around my neck just to stay standing.
Taking advantage of that, I lifted her up, grabbing her ass and making her wrap her legs around me.
She pushed my cap off my head as I brought her from the frame of the door inside. I didn’t know where I was taking her, but I knew it had to be somewhere quick. We ended up against the wall, yanking and tugging at each other’s clothes, pushing our hands through the other’s hair. We just needed to get a touch of the other, to feel each other.
Setting her on her feet, I whipped her around, pressing her breasts against the wall as I felt her body through her clothes. Her hips, her full ass. Eventually, I couldn’t take it anymore and yanked the buttons of her shirt open.
Beautiful brown skin revealed as I dragged her shirt down her shoulder. I put my mouth on her neck, drawing her sweet skin against my tongue for a taste.
She curled her fingers against the wall, panting out my name in desperate breaths. I didn’t know if she got impatient or what, but she shifted around, and the next thing I knew, she was going for my shirt.
She rolled it up, her clothes half falling off and looking sexy as hell. I bent so she could get the t-shirt off me, but then I was back to the task of getting her naked.
I wanted those cut offs gone. Now. She moved her hips forward when I went for the button of her shorts. Her hands fumbled underneath mine, zipping down her fly.
She didn’t even get the shorts down her thighs before I had her cotton panties below her hips. I was only patient enough to get her leg out of one of the leg holes. Her panties and shorts stayed at her ankle, down to the floor, and I was down there in a second with them.
I lifted her leg, placing it over my shoulder. Pushing a hot hand on her thigh, opening her up to me, I latched onto her glistening sex, so hungry for a taste.
The thunder around us was so loud, but I still heard her startled cries. She gripped her fingers into my hair, thrusting her hips forward and welcoming my tongue. I gave her folds the attention they deserved with long strokes, making her wetter than she already was for me.
Every time I got to her clit, teasing before escaping back to her lips, her legs convulsed. I had to grip her ass just to keep her against the wall.
Somewhere in her cries she asked me to stand. Reluctantly, I drew away from that heat between her legs that made me wild, but I quickly got over the loss when she gripped my hair, forcing my mouth on hers already lined with her taste.
We devoured each other’s mouths, both of us fighting for more. Roxie’s hands ventured to my waist while we did, her small fingers working open my jeans. She didn’t let them drop after finishing her task, but instead pulled me out with hot hands. Ones so warm and perfect around me.
I got the condom out of my wallet, my jeans still at my thighs, but after that, she took it from there, her small hands rolling it on me. Her hands felt so fuckin’ good, and it took all the endurance I had to stay put and not take her before she finished.
She gazed up at me, and I’d never seen her look at me the way she did as she
lifted her leg, curling it around my hip. Her eyes closed as she guided me inside her, and at the feeling of her around me, I had to press my hands above her against the wall just to stay standing.
I dragged my mouth along her cheek. “Fuck,” I groaned. “God, baby, you don’t know how good you feel.”
I gripped her hips, nearly raising her to my full height with my legs. Gravity caused her to slide down my dick, and I used the wall to get even deeper.
Her arms trembled around my neck, and she pressed her cheek against mine. Indiscernible words flew from both our lips; real words were too hard to form.
Her thighs pressed at my hips, urging me to thrust harder, faster, and I did, meeting every demand. Doing so not only willingly, but also desperately.
I could feel my release building within me quickly, and by the way she was tugging at the back of my head, calling my name loudly, passionately, I knew she was feeling the same.
I didn’t want to give in and tried to resist it, but I enviably had to come down from my high. Her body made me not want to let go. To be selfish.
My release was long, tiring, and sent an intense shudder throughout my body. In basketball, fatigue was a given after long, rigorous hours of practice, and at the end, it left me with a high I couldn’t get enough of. But in only moments of being with Roxie, my body had that same feeling, that same rush I got with hours spent on the court.
Her body twitched, her thighs squeezing my hips, and she followed right after me. After she brought herself down as I had, I moved my mouth along her warm lips but didn’t lower her to floor. I wanted more. I wanted so much more.
Still inside her, I maneuvered us to some blankets and pillows set out for sleeping on the floor. I did so slowly as my jeans were still at my hips.
We ended up at the bedding near my bag, and I laid her there, kissing her full lips, making her moan.
I finally allowed myself to fall out of her, and she pulled her shirt off the rest of the way. After taking off the condom and placing it aside, I shrugged my jeans and boxers off. My shoes and socks went next. She followed my lead by removing her shorts and panties from her ankle, then her boots and socks. I wanted to be completely naked with her in this wonderful darkness surrounding us, shielding us from everyone else.
Both of us bare, I leaned her to her side, getting behind her. I dragged my fingers up her arm, and small peaks of gooseflesh formed on her skin from my touch; the rest of her body trembled, and her chest panted.
I snapped her bra open and guided it down her arm. She lifted up, removing it the rest of the way. She was now naked, too, but between the darkness due to the storm and her facing the opposite direction, I couldn’t see most of her. That didn’t matter. Like that dance we shared, I’d use my hands to see her. That was my favorite way.
I gathered her breast with my hand, trailing slow kisses down her back. Her moans kept me breathing, my heart beating. They were always so sweet. The sound warm to my eardrums.
She pushed her hand back, sliding along my hip, squeezing. She had me so hard again, and I settled up against her bottom. We moved our hips together, naturally, slowly. It was like we were in our own world, created our own sense of time and space.
“Griffin…” she sighed, shifting back toward me even more, so soft against my length.
I hadn’t intended on staying in this position, but now it only seemed like the best way. I’d be hugging her, embracing her ample body. Protecting her.
I got another condom on and immediately went to do just that. I guided her legs open, and she kept them wide for me as I wrapped my hand around myself. I eased into her sex from behind, and her chest lifted, her body releasing a sigh. Once I made sure I filled her, I brought her in close—right against my chest, my arms tight around her.
Closing her hand over mine, she tipped her head back and moved her hips, finding her rhythm with me. It didn’t take us long to discover that perfect balance. Neither one of us took from the other; we only accepted each other.
I squeezed her into me and pressed hard kisses against her shoulder. I felt as if I had something to prove, had to show her and tell her something with the motions of my body, the rocking of my hips. We were connected. I wanted her to know that. I wanted desperately for her to feel that.
So as I held her up, taking us both through our second release of the day, I knew exactly what I planned to say to her. They were words I felt before I even thought to say them. Hell, even my pop knew of my feelings for Roxie within only moments of me discussing her in the kitchen. Roxie was everything. Everything.
We’d long been separated, our bodies relaxing after making love, when I finally told her what I wanted to say. She turned to me after I did, lying on her back, her body wonderfully naked. Her eyes wandered upon me in question, and an evident surprise lined her lovely face.
Her lips parted. “What did you say?”
I didn’t answer her. Not verbally anyway. I simply lifted my finger, placing it on her chest above the swell of her breasts.
I traced an imaginary “I” on her skin, mouthing the word at the same time. I followed the word by drawing an invisible heart over her own, the world “love” silently escaping my lips. And finally, I settled my finger on her chest, gazing up at her while I did. I finished by saying an inaudible “you,” though the feelings drumming within me were anything but silent. I loved this woman, and now…
She knew it, too.
Roxie
I didn’t think I heard what he said properly, which was why I asked him to repeat himself. Then, when he didn’t repeat himself, it was perfect. He didn’t have to speak out loud. He said what he had to say in our special way, and that meant more to me than anything.
He meant more to me than anything.
I drew my fingers through his hair, the strands of dirty blond sliding between the spaces of my fingers.
“I love you, too,” I mouthed, understanding this moment for what it was. It was life changing, absolutely amazing.
I think he picked that up, too. He smiled at me with that perfect smile. Touching my hair now, he smoothed it away from my eyes with his large hand.
“Good,” he said, letting out a breath like he worried about my response. He lowered his head to me, and his mouth formed against mine. He teased my lips, tasted, and all the while he whispered, “I love you. I love you, Roxie.”
I think I was saying it back, but my mind felt lifted. Sky-high on a cloud. This guy loved me, and I loved him. It was so crazy. So crazy wonderful. I couldn’t guarantee when we finally stopped telling each other the words, finally stopped kissing. It was like we were attempting to seal the love we had. Lock it up tight and never let it go. I only knew when the clouds opened up outside, letting the sunshine back into the barn, those words was cemented. We weren’t letting go of each other. That just wasn’t happening.
He kissed my belly, gathering the clothes we tossed off beside me. “We should probably go back. My gram will be worried.”
Tipping my head back, I sighed from both his lips and the reluctance of heading back to reality. If he wanted to go, he sure wasn’t acting like it. He kissed his way up my body and stopped over one of my dark, erect nipples. His large tongue drew it in, and he continued to mess with the clothing beside me while he made me moan. He found my bra, shaking it free from the rest of our clothes. When he lifted his head from my chest, he covered my breasts with the cups, a devilish smile on his face.
I shoved his arm for getting me all hot only to put my clothes back on. He had me lean up and took my arms, helping me put my bra on with extreme care, light fingers and a warm touch. No guy had ever done that for me. But Griffin Chandler wasn’t like any other guy. As he helped me dress, I worried for him. I didn’t want him being with me to ruin him, but I couldn’t let him go. We’d establish that now.
“Let me handle Tanya,” he said, as if knowing my thoughts. He buttoned the last button of my shirt, covering my breasts. “I can probably reason with her. You won’t ha
ve to worry about it. In fact, don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of it.”
I hated that he wanted to handle this without me. He probably felt he had to after what I almost did to us. Ending us. The guilt weighed upon me heavily. I’d let Tanya get the best of me and hurt Griffin in the process. I had to make this up to him someway. I honestly didn’t think him simply talking to Tanya would help. That night in my apartment with her showed me so many things. The girl played hardball, played dirty. She wouldn’t respond to reason. Even if it was from him. We’d have to go at this from a different angle. Something she would respond to. Something as hardcore as what she was capable of…
I waited for Griffin to dress then stood when he did. He’d gotten everything back on but his shirt at this point. He found it over by the wall we made love on the first time and slipped it on. My hat was next to it. He picked it up and tapped it on the top of my head with a smile.
Searching, I found his baseball cap. He lowered to my height so I could put it on him. After he disposed the condoms we used, he seemed like he was ready to leave, but I grabbed his arm. He looked at me questionably.
I wrestled with my hands. “Do you think I could try to fix this? This thing with Tanya?”
He turned completely, tilting his head. “How?”
I didn’t know exactly yet, but I knew I could come up with something. If I thought hard enough... “I’m asking you to trust me. Let me figure it out. Let me make this up to you. I need to after what I almost did to us.”
He came closer to me. Letting out a breath, he placed his hand on my cheek. “You don’t have anything to prove. I’m sure if I just talk to her—”
“I don’t think that will work, Griffin. I wish it were that simple. You didn’t see her that night. She feels like she lost to me. She was out for blood. Once she finds out I didn’t go through with letting you go…” I shook my head. “There will be no stopping her. She’ll come after you.”
He sighed, placing his hands on his hips. “Well, what are you thinking is better?”
Found by You Page 19