Chuckling to myself, I picked up the bowl and followed the older woman to the back of her property. I thought there were lots of people for the family reunion, but there were at least double that today. So many tall men amongst them for Griffin’s celebration.
My feet left the back porch steps and the bright sun heated the tops of my shoulders exposed from my tank top. I came prepared this time, purchasing my own brown cowboy hat before the trip. I really loved this place. I loved coming here and being with people. I never thought I’d be able to say that before.
After I set the bowl of salsa near the chips, I was pulled into a conversation with Hayden’s wife, Karen, and her friends. Clare and Destiny were there with them, too. I was so happy they were still together and that they’d been able to fly out for the celebration. Despite the incident with Tanya, Clare had been able to catch up in school and walk with us. She and Destiny moved in together after both getting job offers near campus. And from what I hear, Clare was taking Destiny back home to Michigan for a short weekend to meet her parents soon. They wanted to meet her girlfriend.
I guess things worked out for all of us.
We all chatted today about the future, the complications of the previous year nothing but a memory, not important enough to linger on. While in conversation, I passed a look over the back porch. Griffin’s Aunt Robin was guiding someone out the backdoor to the party. That person was someone I didn’t necessarily think Griffin wanted to see.
I scanned the area and spotted Griffin with some of the younger kids. He had sparklers, setting some of them off for the giggling children surrounding him. The first time he brought me here, he dressed in his street clothes from campus, but today he was looking very much like he was at home. Of course his tall hat and boots were a given, but he also had on a plaid shirt with blue checks, his lean build formed throughout it. He couldn’t look more handsome and perfect.
Seeing him interacting with those kids lit an unexpected warmness in me. I never really put much thought into children for myself. My childhood didn’t really allow me to. Bringing someone else into the world meant risking the world’s affects on them. I felt with Griffin maybe having those thoughts of children wouldn’t be a bad thing. He was a protector; he took care of the people he loved like I did. He’d keep them safe alongside me. I knew he would. We were so strong together, Griffin and me. He made me want to be better. Be strong and brave like him.
I got Clare’s attention, giving her a hug before excusing myself from the conversation. We’d talk again before she left town, but I just wanted to thank her again for coming like I had when she arrived. After giving one to Destiny, too, I went over to Griffin, a smile on my face. I just couldn’t help it. He made me feel so happy. Just knowing he was around did that. I wondered if I did the same for him.
He saw me approach, and I had a feeling he did. His whole face lit up, those pretty blue eyes underneath his hat brightening. He gave the sparklers to one of the older teenagers and then met me halfway. Touching my back, he guided me the rest of the way to him.
He settled his long arms over the tops of my shoulders, just holding me. No words said. I tilted my head and our hats collided. The one flaw of those things.
Laughing, he removed his, his blond hair a bit flat but still gorgeous on him. I pushed it up and back into its signature messiness, which he thanked me for before placing a kiss on my cheek.
“What’s up?” he asked, pulling back. “Or did you just miss me or somethin’?”
I’d never grow tired of that Texan drawl that came out so strong when he was home. I pushed my arms around him. “I miss you, but I did come over for a reason.”
He eyed me, but followed my finger when I pointed behind me. To the guy by the salsa table with the rest of the people there. At the sight of his friend D, his face fell.
I didn’t think he’d be happy to see him. Not after how he told me he left things with him back when we were still in school. “Why is he here?”
Griffin didn’t take his eyes off him. “Gram invited the whole team to this thing.”
D crunched on a chip, gazing around. He spotted our eyes almost instantly. Giving a small smile, he pushed his hands into his pockets, heading this way.
Griffin groaned, brushing my back with his hand. He did this restlessly. “Hey. He probably just wants to say hi or something. I’ll make sure it’s quick.”
“It’s fine. It doesn’t bother me he’s here.” And it didn’t, but if his presence made Griffin upset, that didn’t sit well with me.
D made it over to us, nodding. “Hey, Griff.”
“Hi,” he said, though rather stiffly. He brought his arm around my shoulder. He did so almost in a possessive way, but I knew he was just letting him know I was with him. “You know Roxie.”
I gave a small wave, which he returned. After chewing on his lip a bit, he gestured to me. “I actually wanted to talk to you, Roxie. If I could.”
Griffin’s brows twitched up at the request, and I was quite surprised as well. I couldn’t imagine what he’d want to talk to me about. I mean, he hadn’t talked to me at all and Griffin and I had been dating a few months while they lived together.
Griffin’s expression went stiff, and he looked as if he was going to tell his friend no, but I didn’t see a problem with talking to him. I really had nothing against him. What was in the past was in the past for me.
“I don’t mind,” I said, telling them both.
Griffin gave me a concentrated look, as if to ask, “Are you sure?”
I placed my hand on his chest, popping up on my toes to give him a quick kiss on the cheek. He bent so I could, but didn’t take his eyes off D, and when the two of us walked away, I could still feel his gaze on my back. He’d be watching us. That I knew.
If D knew, he didn’t act like it. He didn’t take me far. Stopping near the fence that surrounded the ranch’s horses, he leaned his long frame against the post.
I did the same. I gestured to him. “Griffin said you accepted an offer from Indiana. Congrats. That’s great,” I said, trying to make this less awkward. It kind of was. Really, we hadn’t said much to each other. The longest conversation we had was when he was drunk and told me Griffin was sleeping with two women—at the same time.
He smiled, nodding. “Thanks. I wanted to stay in the Midwest. Be kind of near my family incase they need me. I’m from Chicago.”
I nodded, too. Though I was trying to keep this casual, it was damn hard. I really didn’t know what this was about. Thankfully, D didn’t seem to want to beat around the bush when he broke the silence.
“I may owe Griffin an apology,” he said, staring at the ground. Suddenly, he looked at me. “But I owe you so much more. Fuck, I owe my whole goddamn life to you. My career is my life. My family is my life. Because of you, I get to keep both.”
The guy really didn’t owe me anything. I didn’t do what I had for him. I did it for Griffin. I decided to let him know. “I’d do anything to protect Griffin. He needed me, and he wanted to help you. So I did.”
He nodded but didn’t look offended by what I said. He seemed to just accept that for what it was. “I’ve been a douche. A real big one. I didn’t understand you both at first, and Griffin told me he didn’t expect me to. He didn’t expect me to get it, and I think I know why. I was stuck. Stuck where I think he used to be, but somewhere along the line he got out. He saw the light outside of that world we were in. The one of manipulation, sex, and greed. He got himself out of that, but I was stuck. I couldn’t see beyond myself. Maybe if I had, I wouldn’t have gotten in so deep. I almost went to jail. I could have lost it all.”
I’d fortunately only saw a snapshot of that world. D was right. By the time Griffin and I began seeing each other, he’d already made his way out of it. He saw things for what they were. He did before it was too late. I looked at this guy before me. He’d been taken in by the system, yes, but his reasons for why started off as admirable. That I knew, and that had to count for
something.
“Griffin told me you only went into the scheme because your mom was struggling,” I told him. “You could have gone to jail, though. That was worth the risk?”
Pushing his hands into his pockets, he gave me a smile. “For fam? Yeah. Definitely.”
His eyes shifted behind me. I turned from the fence and saw Griffin heading our way with a determined look in his eyes.
D gave a small laugh. “He awaits.”
I smiled. “I guess so. He can be kind of protective.”
D cocked his head. “A match made in heaven then?”
I never thought about that. I guess he was right.
*
The light clicked on in Griffin’s grandma’s living room and my eyes flickered up from my laptop monitor, adjusting to the brightness. I was graced with a handsome grin before me. Griffin closed the front door I assumed he came in through quietly. Once he did, he eyed me curiously, no doubt wondering why I was sitting here in the dark by myself. I guess I just didn’t notice.
He came over to the couch. Taking a seat next to me, he draped his arm behind my neck. I closed my laptop, and his eyes twitched.
I laughed, thinking he might be assuming the worse. “I promise I wasn’t doing anything bad on this before you came in.”
His grin suddenly went hellacious. He dipped his head, leaving a kiss on my neck. “Maybe I want you doing something naughty. If you’re taping it only for me of course.”
I pushed his chest, and he chuckled. He moved his hand up and down his peck, where my hand hit, pretending to be hurt with a pouty lip.
I shook my head. “Did you and D just finish up?”
Griffin’s party wrapped right after the fireworks showing in the backyard, but his friend stayed. Clare and Destiny left shortly after the showing. I saw them off at the gate as they were staying at a hotel before flying out early the next morning. While I helped clean up after the bash, Griffin and D walked off to talk. This didn’t surprise me. D said he owed Griffin an apology. I had a feeling that’s what the talk was about. When I was done cleaning, I wandered around and found the two sitting on the porch. They were chatting, talking about life, their careers, and where they were headed. Silently, I backed off to give Griffin his space and ended up on the couch with my laptop.
“Yeah,” he said, brushing his fingers against my shoulder. “I told him he could stay. Gram has a couple spare rooms since only you and me are staying tonight. Pop and my brothers headed back. D said he already had a hotel room, though. It was good to see him. I’m glad he came.”
I put my hand on his leg, squeezing. “I am, too.” And I really was. D was one of his best friends, and I was glad it worked out.
Griffin settled his hand on mine, lacing our fingers together. “I’m gonna come right out with this, Roxie,” he said, letting out a breath. “I want you to come with me to Florida. I know it will be different, and I know I’m asking you to rearrange things, but I thought about the alternative. I can’t just be away from you, baby. Only seeing you on holidays and maybe short weekends when I can. It hurts me even thinking about it. I know it’s selfish, but I need you with me. I just do. I can’t help it.”
He looked so worried, his eyes not making direct eye contact as he rambled. He actually feared I wouldn’t say yes. That I wouldn’t come with him.
I lifted our hands, kissing the back of his once. “What if I want to stay where I am?”
I said what I had to mess with him and was quickly going to let him know that when he said, “All right. If you don’t want to come that’s okay. I’m sure I can figure something else out. A way to be closer to you—”
I kissed his lips both long and full, letting him know I wasn’t serious, yes, but also so much more than that. I was letting him know I wanted him and needed him, too. Maybe even more than he needed me. Griffin changed something in me. He made me demand for more. I’d never been able to do that before. Take what I wanted, and I wanted him. I had to have him, too.
“Of course I’m coming with you,” I said between kisses. “I have to. I need you.”
His mouth moved into a smile. He slid his tongue between my lips, taking what he needed too. Eventually his mouth landed on my cheek, my neck next. “Good,” he said. “Good.”
We were lost in the other for a while before Griffin feared his grandma walking in on us. He slipped his hand into mine. “Ready for bed?”
We had separate rooms, but I had a feeling he’d end up in mine for part of the night. I kissed his hand. “I’ll be just a minute. I have to respond to an email.”
He kissed my hand back and then towered over me when he stood. “Don’t be long. I’ll be upstairs.”
Slowly, he released my hand and left me to my computer. I let out a breath after he left. It could have been from him and my love for him or from what I was about to do. I had a feeling the release was a little bit about both.
My heart racing, I opened the monitor. On the screen was my open email. Just like I told him. I just hadn’t told him who sent the one I was reading. I’d read it what seemed like a million times. Sometimes it made me cry. Other times filled me with an extreme anger that again led to tears at the painful memories it brought me. The apology on my screen was years old. Its contents were filled with sorrow and pain from the sender, and also extreme remorse for what he allowed to be done to me. It ended with pleading words for me to respond. To just let him know I got the email. Not that I forgave him, but to simply let him know I was there. That I’d heard his words.
Lifting my hand to my mouse, I clicked reply. I started with two words…
Dear Dad.
Today a basketball player told me something that resonated with me. He risked it all this year. His freedom. His everything. When I asked if it was worth it he said it was. He said it was for family.
This email was my first step. Maybe a way to get that back with the man who raised me. One day, long ago, I felt that too with him. It was so long ago… but it was there. That connection, that bond. That feeling of love and family that I hadn’t been able to feel for so long until I met Griffin. Maybe one day, I’d find that again with Dad. I just had to let him know I’d heard him.
That I knew he was there.
Epilogue
Griffin
The loud buzzer marking the end of the second quarter and the start of halftime sent a charge into my already rapidly beating heart. I’d been on edge all night. Amped to hell. My team and I were up in points, and I had more than my fair share of games my starting season to get used to my new career. Those weren’t the reasons my nerves were shot, my legs completely noodles—though I definitely didn’t let that shit show on the court. My reason for being nervous was that girl located courtside, the one standing up in her seat, cheering with the rest of the fans. She always got so psyched at these games. Excited just like the thousands of others watching the game. The difference between them and her was I knew she wasn’t cheering for the game. Hell, my girl still didn’t like basketball. She couldn’t hide it. I didn’t care, though. She was there for me. She cheered for me. Tonight, the crowd would be cheering for her.
I didn’t know when she realized the audience’s eyes were no longer on the halftime show, but on her. Perhaps it was when our team’s dancers came out. Doing their normal routine, yes, but this time with a new addition. A large sign in their hands.
I could see Roxie clearly reading what they were holding from my zoomed in view of her on the scoreboard screens above the court. I waited for her mouth to drop open before I left my team on the sideline, receiving pats on my back along the way.
I crossed onto the court, the dancers parting for me. Meanwhile, Roxie was looking every which way. I assumed to seek me out, but she didn’t have to do that. I was coming for her. She didn’t have to do anything but let me get to her.
Finally, her gaze moved to the division of the dancers on the court—or I guess I could say the reason why they were dividing. Me.
She had her cute
little cap on backwards, dressed to the nines in my team’s colors. I got her jersey customized. On the back it said, Roxie Elbowa. I asked her before I ordered it if she wanted it to say what I always thought she was, Super Girl. In the end, she got both, but tonight she wore the name she used on her roller derby team. The one she rocked like a badass with her derby sisters on her own court back in college.
She watched me come to her, and one of the dancers broke the line, guiding her onto the court by the hand. The sign I had made followed behind me. She read it one more time, her green eyes watering.
Marry me, Roxie Peterson? How does a fall wedding sound?
I grabbed her hand, getting down on one knee in my basketball shorts, and her eyes went to me, her small hand shaking in mine.
“You can change the date of the wedding if you want,” I told her, opening the black box I had in my other hand. I got her a diamond with emeralds around it. They reminded me of her eyes.
“Just say yes,” I finished, praying for the best. I’d put her on the spot, the world around us, but I wouldn’t have done that if I didn’t know. That this was right. The timing, the moment… everything. Now, we just needed to make what was already in our hearts official. God, I’d been the sappiest guy in the world since I met her. But shit, did I fucking love it.
Her shaky “yes” gave me permission to put the ring on her finger. I stood, bringing her with me, tight in my arms.
“I love you, Griffin,” she said, holding onto me tight, her voice like a warm song in my ear.
The crowd deafened around us, but I still heard her. I always would. I’d always see her.
Forever.
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