by Bennett, Liv
Something rips inside me…beneath my chest, to be very specific. It might be my heart that’s now filled with jealousy. I’ve always envied people for having their parents, family, and good jobs, but I’ve never cared about their lovers…until now.
Now jealousy of Loraine for having Kenneth as her husband is turning my heart black with hatred. And the more she lingers in his arms and the harder she presses her crotch against his, the darker my heart becomes. The pang of jealousy overcoming me makes me dizzy but is also strangely empowering. I’ve never known that side of me, the possessive side.
Kenneth lovingly caresses Loraine’s thick blonde curls and runs his hands alongside her back and down her ass. It’s like watching a porn movie, their public make-out looking equally arousing and disgusting. The sizzling passion and the enormous chemistry between their bodies are palpable even to the point that I can see the sparks flying as they feel each other up.
I finally find enough courage to turn my eyes in the opposite direction to escape the sight. I’m not sure how Loraine will come to terms with having Kenneth cheat on her—that is, if I can seduce him, of course. But, from what I can see, he only has eyes for his woman.
“Love, let me introduce you our new nanny. Lisa Walsh.” I hear Loraine’s musical voice and glance up at her as both walk toward me while holding hands. Why did she want her husband to cheat on her again?
“What happened to Mrs. Whittier?” Kenneth asks softly, the sexiness of his voice brushing the depths of me teasingly. Goodness gracious, he’s irresistible and I’m glad I’m not hired just to babysit his kids.
“You know her problems with her lungs.” Loraine runs her hand down his bare chest slowly as if she wants to draw my attention to his chest, her eyes following the trail of her fingers on his body as she speaks. “I didn’t want our kids to catch a bug from her. I let her go yesterday and hired Lisa.”
“Lisa,” he repeats and turns to me. Somehow hearing my name from his beautiful lips sends a violent shiver all over my body and I fight hard not to show it. “Pleasure to meet you.” He offers his hand.
I slide my hand into his and quickly pull it back, trying not to let the feel of his skin further poison my mind. This is absurd. Up until yesterday, I was completely content with my existence as an asexual being as long as Monika and I had our health, now it seems I can feel nothing but passion and sexual arousal.
“Nice to meet you, sir.” My eyes dart down to the floor quickly, and I take a step back.
“She’ll be riding with you and the kids in the mornings to drop them off at the daycare,” Loraine explains, her hands circled around his arm, her head resting on his shoulder.
“I wish you’d told me about it sooner,” Kenneth says, again softly as if she’s an injured child that needs to be treated gently.
“I didn’t want to bother you. You already have enough on your plate with all your projects. Besides, Scott ran an extensive background check on her. She’s clean as a whistle.”
Kenneth’s face beams with a warm smile as he slides a finger beneath his wife’s chin and lowers his head to leave a tender kiss on her lips. Another round of jealousy washes over me, making me feel ridiculous. Both Loraine and I gape after him as he bounces up the stairs, his leg muscles flexing like a well-oiled machine, his firm and round ass a work of art. I can easily say lack of motivation won’t be a problem on my way to completion of my task.
“I guess that went well.” Loraine clasps her hands together before her chest, exhaling a long breath, and looks down at the golden watch around her wrist. “Time to meet Jamie and Jack.”
Jamie is five and a carbon copy of her mother with her long blonde hair and large blue eyes. Jack is, to my surprise, a baby of nine months. With her great body, Loraine doesn’t look like she gave birth to a child less than a year ago. In fact, she doesn’t look like she’s ever been pregnant in her life.
After quickly changing his diaper and clothes, Loraine gently lifts him up from his bed and hands him to me. I have never before held a baby, so I wrap my arms tightly around him to make sure I won’t drop him. He smells like caramel candies and is very soft. I loosen my grip around his cuddly body and glance down at him with a smile. He doesn’t cry or show any discontent at finding himself in a complete stranger’s arms.
“Okay, let’s go have breakfast,” Loraine announces and holds her daughter’s hand as they walk in front of me. While walking down the stairs, I fear I’ll slip any moment and the baby will fly out of my hold and land head-first on the floor.
I should have googled how to take care of an infant rather than the ways to seduce a man, because I have no idea how to even place the baby into the high chair and struggle to get him inside. Loraine asks me to warm up his pureed food and prepare his milk. I guess he’s not old enough to drink from a glass. It’s little Jamie who explains to me where the baby’s food and formula are and how I should prepare it, rather than Loraine who is busy checking her phone.
Either I have a secret talent for babysitting, or Loraine’s kids are the easiest children on earth, because less than half an hour into my crash course of feeding children, both Jamie and Jack finish their breakfast. I clap my hands joyously once all the food is safely transferred into their stomachs because I hate having to throw away food for obvious reasons.
A subtle but powerful scent of body wash mixed with cologne fills my nose before Kenneth steps into the kitchen. I draw in a sharp breath of air as my head turns in his direction. My eyes can hardly resist how incredible he looks in his crisp white shirt and blue jeans. His golden-brown hair is brushed back, displaying the gorgeous contours of his face. My stomach makes a summersault at the sight of his raw masculinity.
With an air of undeniable confidence, he walks past me and stops at the table to give each member of his family a kiss on the top of the head. I watch him, breathless and still, until he settles on the chair beside his wife.
“I’ll work from home for a few hours. Can you drop off the kids today?” he asks of Loraine as she pours him coffee.
Loraine gives him a reassuring smile and circles her hand around his bicep. “Sure. It’s better that way actually, because I can introduce Lisa to the teachers and show her around the daycare.”
They’re too touchy-feely, too loving to each other. How I’m supposed to break through that love and get into Kenneth’s bed is a mystery to me.
The daycare and the kindergarten visits go smoothly despite the suspicious looks I get from the teachers. Thankfully, Loraine drives me to a few stores on her list and helps me pick out clothes that will make me look like a high-class prostitute rather than a nanny. Body-hugging summer dresses, mini-skirts, tank tops…all in bright red, pink, or blue. Lingerie that I’d be ashamed to look at if I weren’t forced to, much less have the courage to put on. The only modest piece of clothing she buys for me is a pair of jeans, and even those are so skinny and thin, I feel naked inside them. As a final destination, she drives me to a hair salon to get my hair dyed a light shade of blonde.
The girl looking back at me through the mirror at the hair salon isn’t the honest and innocent orphan who worked her ass off to survive. This new girl is manipulative, opportunistic, and ready to hurt anyone on her way to get what she wants. I shiver at the tangible possibility that I might indeed become that girl.
CH 7
~
I love my new clothes, each and every one of them, although I hardly think I’ll ever be able to fool Kenneth into believing I was hired to look after his kids wearing this wardrobe—not to mention my lack of experience in babysitting.
But I shouldn’t hesitate. Monika’s wellbeing and our future depends on my acting skills. If being a Mary Poppins is all it takes to get me and my best friend a better life, I’ll make damn sure to become one. It’s Marilyn Monroe’s seductiveness that I doubt I can pull off.
Giddy with happiness at riding in a luxurious car, I glance down at the half-dozen shopping bags at my feet and realize I have a big pro
blem. There’s no way I can carry them back home doing the three-bus commute. Even if I could manage it, by some miraculous stroke of luck, how am I supposed to commute to work every day in those skimpy clothes? I’d risk exposing myself to sexual molestation in overcrowded busses or on isolated streets at night while walking home.
“What’s the matter?” Loraine lifts her head from her tablet and looks at me on the other side of the passenger seat in the back of the Mercedes.
Since she’s been nice and generous to me, I don’t find it difficult to open up to her regarding my problems. “I don’t have a car. I use the bus only.”
She pulls her eyebrows together in obvious confusion, then her features soften and her gaze drops to my bags. “You’re worried about carrying the bags to your place.”
And wearing them while on the bus. “Yes. I was thinking it might be better if I could leave them at your home and change into them at your home.”
“No.” She shakes her head in discontent, her lips a flat line while she’s thinking. She looks upset and I wince mentally for bringing up my problems. I could take a taxi back home and invest in a long coat to maintain a decent look rather than bothering my boss with my dull problems.
“I’ve got a better idea,” she exclaims, rather excited.
“Oh.” I shift my body slightly so I don’t need to crane my head when I’m looking at her.
“You’ll move into my home. It’s better both for you and my plans. You’ll have more opportunities to seduce Kenneth. An accidental bump into each other while you’re half-naked in the laundry room, or him walking in on you while you’re having a shower in the master bath. Those are all great ways to draw his attention to you,” she says without any visible discomfort, as if she’s talking about mundane arrangements, like manicure appointments.
My jaw drops at the vividness of her descriptions. Once again, I’m shocked to find she’s serious about this. She really wants me to have sex with her husband and she doesn’t even cringe at discussing the embarrassing details of the process.
“I don’t know,” I mumble, trying to push away the very graphic image of Kenneth walking in on me in the bathroom while I’m fully naked in the bathtub. The thought makes me grimace and warms me up inside at the same time. Then I remember Monika’s possible pregnancy. “My roommate is sick. She’s my best friend. I don’t want to leave her alone. She needs my help.”
“What does she have?”
I notice her body moves slightly toward the door, away from me. Perhaps she thinks whatever Monika has might be contagious. If she’s not pregnant, her sickness may very well be contagious. “I don’t think the doctor we saw diagnosed her correctly, but I think she’s pregnant.”
Her face lights up in a sympathetic smile and she tilts her head, looking away, lost in thought. Her eyes find their way back to my face when she says, “Will you move into my house, if I get my gynecologist to check her?”
“You would do that for me?” I’ll move to the moon if her doctor can figure out what’s wrong with Monika and treat her.
“Sure.” She shrugs as if it’s no big deal while I gaze at her with gratitude swelling my chest.
“Let’s pick her up now. I don’t have any plans for the next couple of hours. We can drive her to the clinic now,” she adds.
Dizzy with excitement, I give Scott the directions to my home and in less than an hour, he pulls up the Mercedes in front of my century-old apartment building. Thankfully, Loraine waits in the car rather than paying a short visit to my tiny apartment that’s smaller than the smallest bathroom in her mansion. She doesn’t need to know what kind of misery I live in, although she should have an idea based on the type of job I’m willing to accept.
The elevator is broken and has been since Monika and I moved in, so I run up the stairs and hurry to unlock the door. Monika is out of her bed and doing the dishes for the first time since her illness started. She’s showered and wearing a black cotton blouse with blue jeans.
“Heading out?” I ask.
She turns to me with a surprised expression on her face and smiles. “Wow, I almost didn’t recognize you. What’s up with your hair?”
“Do you like it?”
She grins. “Yeah, you look different….hot.”
“So, are you going out?” I ask again.
“Yeah. Azzam called me this morning. He said I can keep my job if I take over Pamela’s shift this afternoon.”
Going back into the lion’s cage after being eaten? “Are you crazy? You’re not going anywhere near Azzam. We should report him to the police. He raped you, and you’re possibly pregnant with his child.”
Her eyes fall on the sink before her, her cheeks blushing in a way that can only mean shame. If I know her even a tiny bit, I know she’s hiding something.
“What are you not telling me?” I sigh in frustration and walk toward her.
“I don’t think I’m pregnant.” She picks up a dirty plate and runs a soapy sponge across it. “And even if I am, the baby might not be Azzam’s.”
My eyes grow large in shock. Dear Lord, was she raped by another man, too? My eyes run up and down her lean and petite body. Her weak looks must be attracting the wrong type of men. “Who else can be the father?”
She shrugs at first, in an attempt to wave it off, but I’d be a fool to let it go and expose her to more violence.
I glance down at my watch and notice I’ve been in here for longer than ten minutes. Loraine must be getting impatient. “Talk to me!”
“Have you met Teo from the hotel restaurant?”
“Yes.” As far as I remember, Teo is actually a good-looking stud and a college student, and not the usual type to pursue innocent girls. Then again, who am I to know what kind of man gets a kick out of forcing girls into sex?
“He and I are dating,” Monika says, pulling me back from my thoughts. “Kind of,” she adds, her cheeks flustered.
“Oh!” Of course, there’re other ways to get pregnant besides getting raped. I must have a seriously depressed outlook on life not to consider the possibility of Monika having consensual sex with a man.
“Yeah. Teo is the father if I’m pregnant, of course.”
“How can you be sure?”
Exhaling a long breath of frustration, she shoots me a sharp glare. “I’m not exactly comfortable talking about this,” she screams first, then her shoulders slump down, and her expression turns apologetic. “I’m sorry. It’s very embarrassing. Azzam used condoms. And it wasn’t full-fledged raping. He coerced me into it by threatening to fire me, but he didn’t physically force me.”
“That’s raping in my book.”
“You know how much I need the job. And I told Azzam I might be pregnant with his child. At first he didn’t believe me, but I could tell he was scared shitless. He told me he’ll give me a full-time contract if I abort it. He’s ready to do whatever I want.”
“It doesn’t matter. You shouldn’t go back there. He’ll try to take advantage of you again.”
She shakes her head, dismissing my prediction and rinses the last of the dishes before wiping her hands dry with the kitchen cloth. “He won’t attempt it. In fact, he’ll help me get a safe and secure job with health and pension benefits. I’ll use his fear to turn things around.”
I look down at my watch again. “You’re playing with fire. But anyway, I don’t have time to discuss it. We need to go right now. My new boss has arranged an appointment with her gynecologist for you. She’s waiting outside in her car to drive us to the clinic,” I sum it up in the shortest way possible and grab her by the wrist to pull her out of the kitchen.
She barely gets a hold of her purse and a jacket before we both run out. We find Loraine on the side walk talking softly to Scott, the chauffeur. Her blonde hair shimmers under the sun, and her Gucci sunglasses cover most of her face making her look even more out-of-place on this God-forsaken street of Koreatown.
After a quick introduction, Scott opens the backdoor for us. Monika
and I climb in after Loraine. Monika doesn’t try to hide her astonishment in the least as her eyes examine every corner of the luxurious vehicle that must have cost more than our shoe-box-sized apartment.
Loraine’s gynecologist, Dr. Fiona Lopez, with her tall, thin body and long, black hair, looks more like an ex-super-model than a doctor, and takes Monika right in without making us wait. She not only confirms my suspicion that Monika is pregnant, but also diagnoses her stomach flu, handing Monika a bottle of pre-natal vitamins and another of medication to treat her sickness.
“I assume there’s nothing that’s keeping you from moving into my house now.” Loraine sets down her sunglasses and looks at me with an expectant expression as she reclines in her seat back in the Mercedes.
“Are you moving out?” Monika asks, worry thick in her voice. She and I have been inseparable for the last ten years. I can see how both of us will suffer from the separation. As much as I’d like to ask for Loraine to reconsider her request, I don’t want to risk having her change her mind altogether about keeping me as her nanny. I haven’t even signed a contract yet. I can’t do a thing if she decides to drop me.
“It’ll only be for a few months,” I say, feeling heartbroken for abandoning my best friend during a trying time.
Loraine clears her throat, as she interrupts my emotional exchange with Monika with a kind gesture. Her glance is warm and her voice is tender when she says, “You’ll have one day a week off and you can have your friend over for a night a week, if you promise you’ll keep the noise down.”
“Thank you!” I exclaim with a rather high-pitched voice and turn to Monika. “It’ll be fun, and four months will end before you know it.”
Despite my best attempt to cheer her, Monika’s eyes remain sad and she lowers her gaze at her hands fidgeting in her lap, shrugging with one shoulder. “Who’ll pay your part of the rent when you’re gone?”
The whirlwind incidents of the last two days have kept me from thinking about the rent. It’s not like the apartment has an additional room to rent out. It’s a miniscule studio apartment with the bedroom inside the living room.