“Do you want to take a shower?”
“With you?”
“I… Yeah.”
Antonio smiled. “I do.”
“Stay the night.”
Antonio chewed his lower lip, seeming to consider it. “You’re leaving tomorrow?”
Scott nodded. “I’ve got an early morning flight, but you can sleep as long as you need to.”
“What I need doesn’t matter. This is about what I want.”
Scott was almost afraid to ask. “What do you want?”
“To eat your ass in the shower.”
Scott leaned against the end of the bed to keep from falling down. “Oh my God.”
“You like that idea?”
“You…you’re so…”
Antonio grinned. “Hot?”
“Yes. I missed you.”
“I missed you too, which is why I shouldn’t stay.”
“Oh.” Was he going to leave after all?
“But it’s one night. We’ll enjoy all of it, and then… It will be a good memory, right?”
“Right.” Scott didn’t dare disagree, even though his heart was screaming that he didn’t want memories. He wanted Antonio to be his.
***
Scott slapped at the alarm clock, finally stopping its piercing shriek. Why had he scheduled such an early flight? He felt like he’d only been asleep for an hour. Then he remembered why he’d gone to bed late.
Antonio.
He turned over so fast, his neck twinged. Antonio wasn’t there.
“Hello? Antonio, you there?”
No response. The room was too still for anyone else to be there. When had he left?
Scott sighed. There was really no point in wondering. He had a flight to catch and a life back in Boston, at least for now. Antonio had his own life here, one that didn’t include Scott.
Normally, Scott loved going home—not the flight itself, but being back in his own bed, his own space. This time, he’d do anything to stay.
The interview went well. I might be back.
Even so, Antonio had made it clear there wouldn’t be a repeat of last night.
Scott had been perfectly content before this trip, or so he’d wanted to believe. His life was nice, if a little boring and, occasionally, a little lonely. He had friends, a good job, a fantastic home, but he didn’t have Antonio. Now that he’d seen him again—and slept with him—he would be constantly reminding himself of what was missing. He should never have gone to that fucking club. He picked up one of the complimentary shampoo bottles and hurled it at the door. The thunk when it hit wasn’t nearly satisfying enough.
He squeezed his eyes tight as he turned on the shower. No fucking way was he going to cry. He’d had a chance with Antonio years ago, and he’d ruined it. He needed to accept that and move on.
Chapter Four
That night, Antonio wanted to call off work, but he couldn’t risk Marcus deciding he was no longer reliable. What would he do if he wasn’t at work, anyway? Sit around his apartment acting pathetic? Guzzle a bottle of tequila and then hate Scott even more because his head was exploding? Binge on ice cream until he felt sick?
Besides, he needed to talk to Marcus about butting in with Scott. He could take care of himself. He didn’t require Marcus’s assistance.
Things were busy at first as the after-work crowd stopped in for drinks. The constant stream of customers kept Antonio moving, but his concentration was fucked. He messed up two orders, and he had to fight the urge to keep from snapping at men who wanted flirtation with their cocktails. He wasn’t up to his usual banter.
Hopefully none of his dissatisfied customers would complain. He needed to get it together, but how could he when he alternated between dreamily remembering the night before and being pissed at himself, Scott, and the world in general.
“You okay?” Shane, the other bartender on duty, asked.
Antonio waved him off. “I’m fine.”
Shane’s brows rose, and Antonio sighed.
“Thanks for asking, but I’m really okay.”
“I heard your ex was in here last night.”
Fantastic. “So Marcus told everyone?”
“You know how it is around here. And you did run like you were being chased by a pack of slavering hipsters in corduroy.”
Antonio couldn’t help but laugh.
“Now you look more like yourself.”
Did everyone expect him to always be upbeat? “I’m allowed to have an off night.”
Shane shrugged. “Yeah, I guess, but we’re not used to it.”
“I’m in a shitty mood today, but Marcus made assumptions he shouldn’t have. Things with me and Scott are okay now.”
Shane’s eyes lit up. “You fucked him.”
“Why would you think that?”
“You ran from him, then disappeared immediately after work, and now you’re in this mood. What else would I think?”
“That we talked and worked things out.”
Shane shook his head, and Antonio knew there’d be no convincing him. “So what if we did fuck? Why is it a big deal?”
“He’s your ex.”
That really was explanation enough, but Antonio kept trying to throw Shane off the scent. “It was years ago.”
“And it must’ve been more than just fucking back then if seeing him made you leave Marcus on bar duty.”
Antonio sighed. “We had a bad breakup because of a misunderstanding; I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”
“All right. You’re due for a break. Now’s a good time.”
Thank God, he could escape.
“I’m here if you want to talk, though.”
Antonio patted Shane on the shoulder as he walked by. “Thanks.”
“Hey,” Shane called. “Bring some more coasters from the stockroom when you come back. We’re running low.”
“Will do.”
Antonio didn’t want to talk to anyone, and he was too keyed up to sit still in the break room anyway. So after pulling on a T-shirt and jeans, he exited the club through the back door and circled the block, enjoying the cold air that washed over him.
Scott would be back in Boston now. What was he doing? Was he alone? He wouldn’t have fucked Antonio if he had a boyfriend, would he? No, not unless it was an open relationship, and he couldn’t imagine Scott in one of those. Open relationships worked great for some people. Hell, Antonio had been a third for several open couples, but Scott liked to focus on one man at a time, and Antonio had enjoyed having his complete focus. Most of the men at Sparks would laugh to hear Antonio say that. None of them thought of him as a one-man kind of guy. Some of them probably didn’t think he was a one-man-per-night kind of guy. But they didn’t know him like Scott did.
He stopped right in the middle of the sidewalk on a busy block. He couldn’t breathe. No one knew him like Scott, no one; not the family he never spoke to anymore, not his friends at work. No one.
Someone pushed past him, nearly knocking him down. He needed to keep moving, but his legs felt like they’d give way.
He hadn’t intentionally hidden his real self, but there were things he used to long for, things he dreamed about that he’d ignored since Scott broke his heart. Yes, he’d been in love. There, he said it—to himself at least. He doubted he would ever say it to anyone else. Did he even want to be the man he was back then, a romantic who contemplated love and marriage?
It was only three years ago, but it might as well have been a lifetime. Maybe that’s not me anymore. Maybe I really did change.
Deep inside, he knew that wasn’t true.
He made his way back to Sparks. He passed by Alex, one of the dancers, as he headed to the stockroom. Alex turned and followed him. “You look like you could use some cheering up.”
He and Alex had fucked a few times, and he’d enjoyed it. Alex was enthusiastic and ridiculously flexible. Like Antonio, he was always up for fun. Except that tonight Antonio was either not himself or more like himself than
he’d been in a long time. Whichever it was, he didn’t want to fuck anyone.
Except Scott.
Alex followed him into the stockroom and closed the door behind them. “How long do you have?”
Clearly, Alex thought Antonio intended to do more than replenish the stock at the bar.
“Actually, my break’s over. I came in here to get a box of coasters.”
“Seriously?” Alex took a few steps toward him. Antonio moved back and hit the wall. Alex caged him in, arms on either side of his head.
Alex was tall, with muscular shoulders, and Antonio loved a big man who wasn’t afraid to take over. Any other night, the look Alex was giving him would have him hard and ready to go. But right then, he didn’t want anyone but Scott.
Fuck, what had he done? He never should’ve texted Scott, much less gone back to his hotel.
“Yes, seriously. Shane’s expecting me back.” He grabbed a box and ducked under Alex’s arm.
“Did I do something wrong?” Alex asked.
Antonio turned as he opened the door. Alex was frowning at him, looking confused. “No, it’s not you. I’ve just had a difficult fucking day.”
He left before Alex could say anything else.
***
When Antonio had another break toward the end of his shift, he went in search of Marcus. He hadn’t seen his boss all night, but Shane said he was in his office, doing paperwork. The door was shut, so Antonio knocked.
“Come in.”
Antonio stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. Only months before, he’d come here with the purpose of seducing Marcus. That seemed absurd now. Marcus was so in love with Tyler. Antonio wouldn’t be surprised if they got engaged soon.
Marcus smiled when he looked up from his laptop. “Antonio, I was going to find you before you left.”
“What do you need?”
“To see if you’re all right.”
“I’m fine. You didn’t need to defend me last night. Scott and I had a rough breakup, but he’s hardly a threat.”
“I don’t like anyone making my staff uncomfortable.”
Antonio sighed. “I don’t know why I freaked out so bad. I just didn’t want to talk to him.”
“But you did, didn’t you? After you got off work.”
Antonio nodded.
“You did more than talk to him.” Why was it so obvious to everyone? Was he wearing a sign on his back that said “I fucked my ex”?
“How did you know that?”
Marcus raised a brow. “You’re snapping at everyone and fucking up drinks.”
“Shit, did someone complain?”
“No, Shane’s worried about you, and so is Alex.”
“They told you that?”
“Yes. Alex said you weren’t acting like yourself.”
Antonio rolled his eyes. “I wouldn’t blow him in the stockroom.”
“Exactly.”
Antonio plopped down in a chair. Could Marcus be any more exasperating?
“You know I’m teasing, right?”
“Yeah, but look, I’m fine. Scott’s gone back to Boston, and I’ll put on a pretty smile for the customers.”
“Antonio, I don’t want customers pissed off, but I’m far more worried about you. This guy must really mean something to you.”
“Don’t start. Remember how you complained about your friends wanting everyone to fall for someone just because they had?”
“I’m not—”
“Yes, you are. Scott and I dated a few years ago. Yes, it was serious. He fucked up. It ended. Now we’ve made our peace.”
Marcus wrinkled his brow. “That’s a terrible euphemism.”
“It’s not… Ugh, would you listen? You don’t need to worry about me, and neither does anyone else.”
“You’re yelling.”
Antonio wanted to strangle him. “I’m annoyed. I’m allowed to be fucking annoyed.”
“Yes, you are, but usually you express annoyance with bitchy little comments, not yelling. If Scott hurt you before, why are you even talking to him?”
That was an excellent question. The only answer he had—that he still loved Scott—terrified the fuck out of him.
“Okay, here’s what happened. I was working as a barista in a coffee shop near the financial management firm where Scott’s office was. Rick, this asshole Scott worked with, had been pressuring me to fuck him for months before I got together with Scott, and even after we were together, he kept it up. He was so pissed off that I turned him down, he convinced Scott I’d cheated on him.”
Marcus frowned. “How?”
“I was talking to another guy at their office. You know me. I’m touchy-feely and flirtatious with everyone.”
Marcus snorted. “When you’re not pining over your ex.”
“The bastard took my picture and made it look like I was about to kiss the other guy. He said he’d seen me at their office when Scott was out of town. I was there to leave Scott a note and some of his favorite candy for when he got back.”
Marcus looked ready to explode. “Where can I find this Rick?”
“I hope he’s burning in hell, but neither of us is going to find out.”
“Hmpf. Didn’t Scott find the candy?”
“No. I assume Rick took it.”
“But if Scott knew you at all, he shouldn’t have believed this guy. You’re as honest as anyone I’ve ever met.”
“He tried to apologize, but I wouldn’t let him. I hated him for not trusting me.”
“But you don’t hate him now?”
Antonio shook his head. Was Marcus saying he should?
“And you fucked him.”
“I…”
“Antonio, be sure you know what you’re doing.”
Marcus meant well, but he was just making Antonio feel worse. “It was the goodbye fuck we never had. We never talked to each other again after I kicked him out, and by the time I was ready to listen to his apology, he’d transferred to Boston.”
Marcus raised his brows. “He moved to get away from you?”
“I like to think he moved because he couldn’t get over me.”
“But he never tried to apologize after that?”
Was Antonio crazy to trust Scott? “He said he didn’t think I’d talk to him. He never expected our relationship to last. He couldn’t understand what I was doing with a stuffy guy like him.”
“That’s no reason for him to believe you would cheat on him.”
No, it wasn’t, but Marcus hadn’t seen the look on Scott’s face when he’d literally gotten on his knees to beg forgiveness. Antonio had turned away from him, yelled at him to get the fuck out, and ignored his texts and calls.
“He tried to call me again and again for weeks, but I was too stubborn to talk to him.”
Marcus chuckled. “Stubborn I can believe. That sounds just like you.”
“Yeah.” Antonio couldn’t deny it.
“It can be a good thing. You’re persistent. You keep at things until they’re perfect, and you stand up for yourself and others. That’s why I think you’d make a great lawyer.”
“Did I finally convince you that I don’t need protection from Scott?”
Marcus narrowed his eyes. “I thought you weren’t going to see each other again?”
“We’re not, but…”
“You’d like to.”
Antonio would, but he knew better. “That’s ridiculous. He lives in Boston.”
“Why was he in New York? Did he come here just to see you?”
Antonio hadn’t even asked. “He didn’t say. He was probably here for work.”
“So it wouldn’t be strange if he came back?”
“I guess not.”
Marcus nodded. “Take care of yourself. I’m here if you need to talk.”
“Talk about someone not being themselves. You playing relationship counselor? That would’ve been grounds to call a doctor a few months ago.”
Marcus glared at him. “Don’
t push your luck.”
Antonio walked around the desk so he could hug Marcus. “Thanks for being concerned.”
“Love isn’t easy, but it’s worth it.”
Antonio let Marcus go and gave him an exaggerated look of surprise, which made Marcus chuckle.
“Did I really just say that?”
Antonio scrunched his face up in mock disgust. “Try not to run the customers off with all that sap.”
“You wait. Your turn will come.”
Antonio shook his head. “Scott’s gone, and even if he were here, I—” The words stuck in his throat. He was lying. He wanted Scott, any way he could have him, and despite the time that had passed, that hadn’t changed. If he hadn’t cared so much back then, he wouldn’t have been so fucking stubborn. Now it was too late.
Marcus laid a hand on his arm. “Never say never.”
“Wow, you’re full of clichés tonight. Maybe you’re the one we should be concerned about.”
Antonio pulled his phone from his pocket.
“What are you doing?”
“Texting Tyler. He might need to come get you.”
Marcus growled. “Get out!”
Antonio laughed as he closed the office door behind him. But his happiness didn’t last long. What if Marcus was right?
He pulled his phone back out and texted Scott.
I should’ve stayed to say goodbye.
It was one a.m. on a Tuesday night, so he didn’t expect a reply, but his phone chimed before he reached the bar.
I miss you.
Antonio replied immediately. I miss you too.
What are we going to do about it?
I have no idea.
Scott sent a heart. Antonio sent one back. Then he put his phone in his pocket and returned to work.
Chapter Five
The next night, Scott lay in bed wondering what Antonio was up to. He wanted to be there at the bar, talking, flirting, watching Antonio charm the customers. He’d never minded how sensual Antonio was with everyone until fucking Rick ruined everything.
Scott had confronted Rick the next day in front of the entire office. He would’ve punched him if another colleague hadn’t pulled them apart—and he’d never punched anyone in his life. It was the first and only time he’d gotten a disciplinary write-up.
Memories with The Breakfast Club: Remember Love Page 3