“Shit, you’re hurt.” His weight disappeared from the couch.
“No. It’s nothing. Just my stupid leg.” I gasped through the pain, rubbing at my thigh, trying to relax despite the fact it hurt like a bitch.
Flexing my toes just made it worse. Too soon yet. I’d have to ride it out a little longer. Tears pressed past my closed lids. Tears of frustration and anger. Humiliation. This was happening all too often, and I wasn’t ready to face what that might mean. Not now.
Warm fingers pushed my hands away and I was forcibly shifted so I found myself lying flat. I looked up.
“It’s definitely not stupid.” Van stared down at me grimly.
He propped up my knee with a pillow and worked his hands over my leg, gentle probing turning into a soft kneading as he quickly found the knot. He ran his fingers down the outline of my muscles, teasing them into submission. At first I couldn’t feel his touch through the pain, but as my leg relaxed, so did I. The torturous agony climbed down from a nine to a four…a two…until only a shadowy ache remained.
I stared at Van, as if seeing him for the first time. His movements were sure, like he knew exactly what he was doing.
Fuck. He did know what he was doing.
A chill rolled over me.
“You’re not a doctor, are you?” The first stirrings of uncertainty leapt to life.
Van glanced up and met my accusing glare with a sweet, sexy smile. “Not a doctor. No. But this isn’t my first massage either.” He managed to push more than a hint of suggestion into his words.
I grew warm, suddenly conscious of just how wonderful his hands felt on my calf, just how close my calf was to my knee, only a few inches away from my thighs…and the thigh bones connected to the place that was becoming hot and bothered again.
I relaxed back. Everyone indulged in a sensual massage at least once in their life. Right? It was only my sensitivity—okay, loathing—of anything medical that made me wary.
To me, lusting after a doctor would be tantamount to making out with my brother. Just. Fucking. Wrong. Every doctor I’d met had a hero complex, wanted to look after me, try something new, do something to cause me pain all in the name of making me better.
Imagine taking that to bed.
Ah. No thanks.
I swallowed the sigh that built up fast in my throat and shoved it far down, deep in my gut. This wasn’t me, to give in to self-pity. I had a super-cute mystery man laying his hands all over me—a man who, with a little prompting, could be encouraged to utilize those fingers for far more nefarious deeds.
Except the moment had gone. I couldn’t fool myself any longer. My damn leg had won this time. I shifted under Van’s ministrations, struggling to sit up. I felt spent. Deflated.
I wanted to go home.
And it sucked. That I hadn’t been able to do what I wanted hurt more than any cramp could. I shoved down my T-shirt to cover my breasts.
“I’m done for the night.” It cut me to the bone to have to say those words.
“Yeah, I think it’s best.”
I put my arm over my face, cheeks burning with humiliation.
It made it a hundred times worse, the fact that Van didn’t even try to stop me.
Chapter Four
Jess
“Let me grab my keys.”
Van stood and I pushed myself up to sit. I set about pulling on my pants, wincing against the sharp tug of aching muscles. I ended up leaning half to the side, using the tips of my fingers to get the waistband past my toes.
Van leaned against the counter, watching me. He’d put on a fresh T-shirt, a worn gray one that looked soft and lived in, and fit him perfectly. He looked comfortable in a smoldering, sexy kind of way. At ease.
I tensed. If he dared offer help…just one fucking word…
Wisely, he said nothing. I tugged on the bottom of my shirt and stood up, feeling exposed even though I was fully dressed. A small part of me hated him right now, the fact my weakness had been revealed.
“I’ll call a cab,” I growled out my intention.
Shit. Too late, I remembered I didn’t have my wallet. I clenched the hem of my T-shirt to stop my hands curling into fists. Worse than running away like a terrified virgin was having to be driven home like a two-year-old. Mortifying.
Van pushed off the counter and walked over. I stifled an inner sigh. Walking seemed too tame a word to describe the way he tracked across the room, all long, lithe steps and fluid grace. Really. Did he have to look so damn good? One small stumble, an inadvertent trip and I might have given in and said, “To hell with it…take me.” But not this…this…Adonis of creation. The better he looked, the more I wanted to slap the sexy right off his face.
Or kiss it.
I turned away. I was the only train wreck in this room.
“I’m taking you home.” He stopped in front of me.
Just like that. No preamble. My chin lifted and Van’s mouth tightened into a look so like Cole I nearly choked on my own breath. That smug, disapproving expression he wore, like he had all the answers and I didn’t even know the question. I hated that look.
“It’s all right. I’ve got it.” I waved him away. “There’s a stand just around the corner.”
“So, you’ll wait. In the cold. In your T-shirt.” He crossed his arms. “Don’t be so silly, Jess.”
Anger rose in a hot tide, spilling up into my throat. “Oh, I’m silly now?”
I was a lot of things—silly could be one of them—but I’d earned the right to be what I wanted the night of my accident. I’d spent the last three years being coerced into doing things I didn’t want to do.
It’s for your own good. You’re being silly…selfish…stubborn…
No. I was just being me. And there was nothing wrong with that.
“Goodbye Van.”
Van dropped his hands. “I didn’t mean it like that—”
“It doesn’t matter how you meant it.” I turned away, suddenly tired. I wanted the humiliation to be over.
“At least wear this.” He walked me to the door and handed me a fleece-lined jacket from the rack.
“Thanks.” I might be stubborn but I wasn’t stupid. “I’ll give it back to you at school.” I stopped to look at him. “I never did figure out which faculty you’re with.”
“Don’t bother bringing it to school.” Van dismissed my offer. “I’ll collect it from your house tomorrow.”
“No. That’s okay. I can bring it Monday.” I didn’t want him owing me any more favors. And I didn’t know if I’d be ready to face him in the cold light of day tomorrow.
“Just keep it with you.” Van gave a resigned sigh. “We’ll be seeing each other soon enough.”
I hurried out the door, knowing my limp was more pronounced in my haste to get out.
It was a hell of a lot worse by the time I’d walked home. But at least the party had come to an end, Brad and Mike disappearing with it. I shrugged off Van’s jacket, surveying the mess Brad and Mike hadn’t cleaned up. It could wait until tomorrow. I bypassed the chaos and went straight to bed.
Huddled in my blankets, I let Van back into my thoughts and I mulled over just how much I’d liked him being in charge. He’d thrown me tonight. Kept me off balance. If my leg hadn’t given out, I’d have been sure to turn the tables. I’d have liked it to be Van writhing in pleasure.
Except Van hadn’t pressed the point too hard about me staying. Was it my injury—that big, juicy scar that looked like I’d tangled with a chainsaw and lost? He hadn’t seemed bothered by it when he’d first peeled off my pants, but there was such a thing as delayed reaction. My mangled flesh was not a pretty sight.
I rolled over to curl onto my side.
At least I was still alive.
A lump pricked at the back of my throat. My mom would have understood why I was acting like this. We’d been two of a kind, peas in a pod…Langford-stubborn. Cole had never gotten our need to live life the way it should be—rich, full, and at top speed.
Waking up after the accident to find out Mom hadn’t made it had been devastating. And to know that she’d died, not in a blaze of glory, but while dropping me off at school…as if everything she’d done before that one insignificant act was nothing. It hadn’t even made the papers.
I swiped at the tears threatening my lids. Mom wouldn’t have cried. She’d have demanded to know what I was going to do next.
I pulled the blankets up around my ears, my fingers twisting in the bedding, my eyes gritty and tired. I’d like to know my next move too. The only thing I was sure of, was that it hadn’t been living in the dorms at college. Moving out was only the first step.
I woke up cooking in a swaddle of blankets, to the sound of my phone’s persistent buzz. It took a moment to realize what the noise was, my thoughts emerging from the fog of sleep into the not-so-pretty pattern of very fucking tired.
“Ay-o,” I mumbled into the phone, consonants beyond me.
“Jess.”
I shot up in bed. “Co-Cole.” It took two attempts for my voice to work. “What time is it?”
“Ten.” His answer purred down the line, sending a chill scudding between my shoulder blades.
“Shit.” I gripped the phone tighter. “Sorry. It’s the weekend. I partied with some girls from the dorm last night.”
All true, and while I hadn’t drank much, the taste of stale alcohol still clung to the sides of my mouth. I rolled my tongue around my teeth.
“You were at a dorm party last night?” Cole asked, sounding oh, so reasonable.
“Yeah.” I released the breath I’d been holding. “Tash and I were up till late. We’re still in bed.” My words were met by a wall of silence. I shifted, gathering my bedclothes around me. “Are you there?”
“Yes. I just find it interesting.” Cole sounded thoughtful. “You see, I’m at the dorm right now. Looking at Tash. And guess what?” More silence. My heart started thudding. “You’re not here.”
“I-I can explain—”
“Oh, you bet you will.” His angry voice cut across mine. “You’ll be explaining everything. Right after you tell me where the hell you are.”
I huffed out a breath. “You can’t tell me what to do!”
And so it began. I tried ranting, begging, sniveling, swearing, and cool, calm rationale. Cole remained impervious and in the end, I gave up. Truth was, my heart wasn’t in it. He paid my rent. He paid for everything. And the threat of cutting me off was real enough that I had to roll over. I gave out my address in resignation.
“I’ll be there shortly,” were Cole’s final words.
As I hung up from one call, my phone went again. It was Tash.
“I’m so sorry, Jess. Cole turned up here and oh my God, when he couldn’t find you… I’ve never seen him get angry like that. I mean he’s always been so nice but I thought he was going to rip my head off.”
“It’s not your fault,” I reassured her.
I couldn’t be mad at Tash. Cole was a blunt instrument when it came to my well-being. He bludgeoned his way through everything to get what he thought was best and no one could withstand his wrath, not when it came to his little sister.
I pushed away the blankets and swung my legs to the floor, contemplating the thick, red scar on my knee. Cole hadn’t always been this way. Once upon a time, before the accident, he’d been more relaxed.
It was funny how my life was now defined by before and after the accident—and the disaster had left a shitload more scars than the eye could see.
“Will you be okay?” Tash was asking. “He’ll calm down once he sees the place, right?”
“Yeah. Sure he will.” I glanced around my bedroom. The wallpaper was peeling a little and the orange roses clashed with my pink coverlet, but it was tidy. Cole might appreciate that.
“You want me to come over?”
“No. I better go and make sure the rest of the house survived the party. I’ll see you later. If I’m still alive.”
I hung up and pulled on jeans and a clean T-shirt, confident I could handle Cole.
And then I went into the living room. My mouth fell open, then snapped shut as the smell of stale alcohol and BO assaulted me.
“Mike! Brad! Get up now!”
I hauled Mike and Brad out of their rooms. Mike got a trash bag shoved in his hands with orders to start picking up. Brad, I pushed toward the shower. The evidence of his drinking binge clung to him in a palpable aura.
It was only when the red plastic cups had been scraped off the floor, pizza boxes stacked and the last of the empty bottles disposed of, that I allowed myself to relax. I looked at my watch. I probably had time to call Jayne and ask about Van. Then I decided freshening up was a more sensible use of my time.
I barely had time to jump in the shower before Cole arrived.
He was one angry, pissed-off brother.
His gaze roved around the room, pausing on the worn carpet, the mismatched drapes and patchy linoleum. His nostrils flared, no doubt filling with the aroma of day-old party fumes and cleaning fluid.
Brad chose that moment to stumble out of his bedroom, half-naked. Cole’s eyes widened, then narrowed to slits. Radiating pure anger, he arrowed in on me.
“Pack your things.”
I knew I was in trouble when his voice came out low and dangerous like that. It was a warning, the only one I’d get before he exploded.
Not that it bothered me as I faced off against my brother. My anger rose to match his. A bottomless well of hot, spitting emotion.
“You can’t tell me what to do, Cole.”
“I can and I will.” Cole mirrored my stance as we moved into familiar sibling territory. “Why the hell did you move out of the dorms?”
“Why not? They never do anything fun. I’m at college, not at Camp-frickin’-Mother-Care.”
Cole shot me an angry look. “It’s the best place for you. You have everything you need on campus.”
“And where did you stay when you went to college?” I spat back at him. “Oh, that’s right. You didn’t. You didn’t even make it through high school. If anyone’s going to decide on my future, I think I’m more qualified.”
Hurt flashed across Cole’s face and I felt like a bitch. Shit. I hadn’t wanted it to go this way. I’d wanted to act like a mature adult, making rational choices.
“Cole…I…”
“I may not have the fancy degree but I still pay your way.” Cole came straight back at me. No hesitation. “I’m happy to withdraw my funds if it’s not to your liking.”
I huffed out a sigh. All I wanted was for him to start taking me seriously, like I was an honest-to-God adult. An equal. In my head, I knew all this. Knew he was doing it to help me. Knew Cole was right to be annoyed about me moving. Knew it. Knew it. Knew it…and I still couldn’t let it go.
“I’ll get a job then, if that’s what you want,” I countered.
“Oh, and how are you going to juggle work with everything else?” He rubbed his hand over his face.
He was distracted, I noted. Tired. I almost gave in…
“You need to concentrate on your treatment.” He ruined my moment of weakness by mentioning the “T” word.
“Treatment!” It was like a well-worn path my life kept coming back to. Fresh anger bubbled up like scalding liquid inside my chest. “It’s always about the fucking treatment. Do you see anything past my injury, Cole?” I demanded, sticking my face into his. I felt like I was being squeezed into a box that grew smaller and smaller with each passing day. I wanted to explode, detonate. Go crazy. But instead I was trapped…in my own body. In circumstances beyond my control.
And that was the one thing I really wanted. Control.
“I need to be able to make my own mistakes.” I said quietly.
“Why would I let you make mistakes I’ve already made?” Cole shook his head. “Don’t you think you’ve gone through enough pain?”
A shadow passed across his face and I bit back my next retort. He didn
’t play fair. I knew how much he’d suffered after the accident, and the knowledge kept my mouth shut. He’d stayed by my bedside night and day, not knowing whether I’d live or die. He’d had to bury our mom on his own.
Cole deserved better. He was my brother, and he loved me.
It didn’t mean I had to like it. Or that I wasn’t going to keep trying new things. But for now, I conceded defeat.
“Start packing,” Cole warned as he left. “I’ll be back for you in two hours.”
Chapter Five
Jess
“I’m not going back to the dorms.” I stared out the window, gearing up for another fight as Cole drove through town. “I’ll stay with Marcus if I have to, but I’m not going back.”
“No. You’re not going back,” Cole said tightly.
“Really?” I snuck a sideways look at my brother. His jaw was tight and ticking like a bomb.
“There’s little point when you’re probably just going to leave again.” He directed a glare at me. “But you’re not going to Marcus’s, either. I’m taking you somewhere else.”
“Are you going to tell me where?” Despite my bad mood, my curiosity was piqued.
“I will, if you promise to at least give it a chance.”
My interest plummeted. If he was issuing ultimatums before we’d arrived, chances were it was somewhere I wasn’t going to like.
“I’m not promising anything until we get there.” I crossed my arms.
“That’s what I thought you’d say.”
Cole’s hand tightened on the steering wheel and I went back to looking out the window. We drove into the heart of Wellsford, skirting the central city area to follow the river winding its way through parks and suburbs. Into the nice part of town.
Cole pulled up outside a swanky apartment building. It was an older-style complex, all brick and glass and sleek polished wood.
I threw a questioning glance at Cole. I’d begun to think he might have rented somewhere for us to share, but we were too far away from campus. And Cole would never live here. He had a real thing about the rich and ostentatious.
Her Release (One Night Stand Book 3) Page 3