“Well, maybe we can buy you a new pair,” she said, glancing up at Morgan as if it was his fault his son looked so shabby.
“Will you help me pick them out?” Nathan looked up at Tabitha with that adoring expression he always seemed to have around her. It bothered Morgan to see the boy so attached, but he understood far too well the hold this woman could have on a guy.
“I guess I can.” To her credit, Tabitha tossed a look at him as if seeking permission. All Morgan could do was nod his acquiescence.
Nathan fist pumped, then yanked on the shop’s door to go inside.
“I hope you don’t mind,” Tabitha said, lowering her voice as Morgan held the door open for her.
“Not at all. Maybe if you help us pick out some new clothes, he might actually wear them,” he muttered.
Tabitha frowned her puzzlement as they followed Nathan into the store.
“I bought him new clothes when I picked him up from his grandmother’s place,” he explained. “But he won’t wear them.”
“Well, that makes a lot more sense,” Tabitha said with a gentle smile.
“What does?”
“Why he’s dressed the way he is.”
“What? You thought I preferred that my son go around looking like a little homeless boy?” Morgan couldn’t keep the offended tone out of his voice.
“Actually, I thought you might not notice. Which surprised me. Considering how you always dressed so nicely.”
“Past tense?” he teased as they walked to the back of the store where the kids’ clothing was located and Nathan stood waiting for them.
She flicked her gaze over his cowboy hat, twill shirt and worn jeans. “I like this look better.” Then their eyes met and Morgan felt it again.
That faint quiver of renewed attraction. A gentle back and forth of flirtation.
“I like these pants,” Nathan said, pointing to a pair of blue jeans.
To Morgan, the pants with their pre-ripped holes didn’t look much different than the ones Nathan already wore. But at least these weren’t as faded.
“I think they are cool, but what do you think about these?” Tabitha suggested, steering him toward another pair without rips or holes. “You probably want something different than what you already have,” she said. “That way you have some choices of what to wear.”
“Okay.”
And that was that. Though if Morgan had his way, he would get rid of the worn and ripped blue jeans Nathan wore as soon as they got home.
“Does Dad have a budget?” Tabitha asked, shooting him a teasing glance. “Just wondering how much we can load onto the credit card.”
“No budget,” he said with a dismissive wave of his hand, adding a grin. “But remember, these days I seem to be only a part-time veterinarian.”
Tabitha made a sympathetic face. “We’ll try not to bankrupt you.”
“Your generosity astounds me.”
She just grinned, then turned to his son. He stood back as Nathan and Tabitha picked out two more pairs of blue jeans, a couple of pairs of cargo shorts, some T-shirts and, after some long deliberation, a cowboy hat. It was only straw but Nathan was thrilled with it.
“Thought you weren’t going to bankrupt me,” Morgan laughed as he pulled out his wallet again.
“Nothing a couple more hours at the vet clinic won’t cover.” Tabitha looked over at Nathan, who was clutching one of the crinkly bags and grinning from ear to ear as he led the way back out of the store. “I’m sure Dr. Waters will come around sooner rather than later and you’ll be able to pay off your credit card.”
“Hope so. But I guess I can be thankful I can spend more time with Nathan for now.”
“He seems...distant with you, if you don’t mind my saying,” Tabitha said.
“We’re struggling.”
Nathan looked so happy, however, that Morgan felt a tiny flicker of hope. Maybe, in time, they would become more connected.
“Time and miles, Ernest always says,” Tabitha said as if she had read his mind. “That’s the best way to connect with a horse and, I suspect, with a son you barely know.”
Morgan held her gaze, recognizing the wisdom in her words. “Thanks.”
She returned his look, and again, he found himself unable to look away. Unable to break the growing connection between them.
She was the first to turn her eyes away, which made him realize how she was getting under his skin. He couldn’t let it happen but he wasn’t sure how to stop it.
* * *
The hum of the engine was the only sound in the truck on the drive back to Morgan’s place. Nathan had fallen asleep, clutching his bag of clothes, his head tipped to one side. Morgan kept his eyes on the road but occasionally she caught him looking at her as if not sure what to do about her.
Tabitha kept reliving the few moments of connection they had shared, wishing she could be stronger. Wishing Morgan didn’t still have such a hold on her heart.
She had to keep her focus on what was important, she reminded herself. Not indulge in past fantasies that she had no right to.
But in spite of her self-talk, she still stole a glance over at Morgan, disconcerted to see him watching her instead of the road.
She gave him a tight smile, determined to stay in charge.
“So, Dr. Waters. He’s being difficult?” she asked, latching on to a neutral topic, pleased at the conversational tone of her voice.
He shot her a puzzled glance but seemed willing to go along.
“Yeah. I thought he would be easy to work with but he’s turning into a problem.”
“He’s losing business, so I don’t see why he’s cutting your hours.” Tabitha let some of her own frustration with Dr. Waters show. “I know when I first applied, Cass told me that Dr. Waters needed the help. But I guess he figured my equine specialist degree and my vet assistant program wasn’t enough.”
“In ranching country, with all these horses around, you’d think it would give you full-time work.”
“You’d think. I sometimes wonder—” She stopped there, knowing she was veering into self-pity territory. She never knew how much was Dr. Waters just being Dr. Waters or how much was her father’s reputation.
“You wonder what?”
She brushed off his question. “Would you ever consider going on your own?”
“You mean, starting my own business?” Morgan slowly shook his head. “I don’t know. I’m not much of a risk taker. Don’t like stepping outside of my comfort zone.”
“That’s what comes from growing up with money,” Tabitha said, unable to resist the urge to tease him. “All your problems get swept away.”
He held her gaze and she knew he was thinking of their past. “Not all of them can be fixed with money,” he said.
She was silent, feeling the emotions, older and dangerous, trembling between them. Part of her so badly wanted to give in. The only time she’d ever felt like she was worth anything in her life was when she was with Morgan.
But she had to find her own way and so did he. They weren’t young kids with no responsibilities anymore. Life had beaten the optimism out of both of them.
“I’ve had to quickly learn how to adapt,” she continued. “I’ve been in too many situations where I’m not in charge, which made me want to find a way to change that. I don’t want to be working for someone else all my life, letting them determine how many hours I work or whether I have a job at all.”
“Sepp was an idiot to let you go,” he said.
His defense of her gave her a small shiver of happiness. “I like to think so, though he wouldn’t agree. But that’s a prime example of having other people in control of my life. My father did the same thing, dragging me and my sister hither and yon, and if you’re going to ask me where yon is, I can
tell you. It’s in the northwest corner of Saskatchewan.”
“Good to know,” he said, grinning. “So you want to be in control of your life. What would that life look like?”
“I want to save up enough money to build a training facility. To train horses full-time. It’ll take years, though, to build up my reputation, I’m aware of that, but it’s the only way I can feel like I’m in charge.”
“That would require taking a risk, wouldn’t it?”
“Of course it would. If there’s one positive thing I learned from my father, it’s that if you don’t take risks, you don’t get anywhere. The trick is not to take risks with other people’s money.” She heard the usual angry note enter her voice and she stopped herself. She had to get past all that sometime, but she knew the sooner she could pay Morgan’s father his money back, the sooner that would happen.
“That’s admirable. That you’re willing to do that.”
“You wouldn’t?”
“I don’t know how. Your comment about money was kind of dead-on, hard as it is to hear. My dad was harder on us but my mother spoiled us rotten. I know that now that I have a son myself. She would move mountains to make sure my twin sister, Amber, got the barrel-racing horse she wanted, no matter the cost. She pushed Dad to pay for vet school so that I could graduate without debt. I never learned to take a chance. There was always a fallback. A safety net.”
His confession surprised her. As did what he said about his mother.
“But working with Dr. Waters frustrates me. He keeps pushing me away. Taking cases from me.” He released a harsh laugh. “I sound like a pouting child, don’t I?”
“So start something of your own,” she said.
“I’ve thought of it.”
“But it’s a risk.”
“Yeah. I’m not going to ask my dad for help. I would need to do it on my own.”
“So do it.”
He gave her an odd look. “You really are fearless, aren’t you?”
“No. Just want to be in control, that’s all.”
He frowned, holding her gaze as if trying to delve behind her comment.
But she forced herself to look away.
Control, she reminded herself, grasping the very thing she had just said. She needed to be in control. And if she let herself weave too many daydreams around this man, she would lose that control.
Because no matter what she thought or dreamed, until her debt to his father was paid, she would feel as if that had control of her life and would determine her value and worth.
She wouldn’t let that happen.
Chapter Seven
It had been a busy Saturday, Morgan thought with a feeling of satisfaction. Dr. Waters had been sick, so Morgan had taken over most of the cases at the clinic today. Now that the day was over, he was on his way to Tabitha’s. She had given him instructions to her place, but Morgan knew the way. Back when they were dating, he had brought her home once. It was the only time.
Usually she would take her car, or whatever vehicle her father had bought for her to drive, and meet him wherever they were going. Though it was at the end of a long, narrow road, it was close enough to town that sometimes she walked to the highway and met him in town.
He didn’t like it but she’d always been insistent.
The road made another bend and he saw a driveway ahead of him. It looked like the main road but Tabitha had been adamant that he take the second driveway. So he drove past the clearly marked one, turned another bend and saw a pair of white reflective posts marking the second driveway. It was narrower and didn’t look very well maintained, but he turned down it anyway.
Then he came around a tight corner and saw the house. A grove of trees sat between it and the rest of the yard. The area around the house was tidy and neat with clipped grass and edged with brick and heavy rocks. Flower beds flanked a house that gleamed a pale yellow in the sun, trimmed with white around the windows and eaves. It looked like a fairy cottage tucked into the hillside.
He could hardly believe this was the house that Tabitha, Leanne and their father moved into when they first came here. Back then it was a dingy brown with peeling paint and a porch that looked like it was falling apart.
Now it looked sturdy and welcoming. Bright and fresh.
He got out of the truck and caught a glimpse of the barn just beyond the house. Tabitha had said she would be working in the pen, and he should go around the right side of the house to get there.
Again, she’d been very insistent.
But he ignored her orders and went around the left side. He walked past the trees, up the hill, and his heart sank. Below him lay a graveyard of cars, stacks of wood and endless boxes of unidentifiable junk. The old driveway wound through it all and he understood why Tabitha had been so adamant he take the other way in to the house.
He was dismayed at the sight. It would take weeks to clean all this up. He shook his head, wondering again at Tabitha’s father and how he could have done this to his daughter.
He heard Nathan’s excited voice coming from close to the barn. He knew he could get there from here but he chose to follow Tabitha’s orders and walked on the opposite side of the house. He walked down a path, through the same grove of trees hiding the house from the other side of the yard, and there they were.
Nathan hung over the edge of the round pen and Tabitha stood with Stormy, flicking a tarp over her backside, holding her still with the halter rope.
To his surprise, the horse didn’t even flinch.
“You’ve come a long ways,” Morgan called out as he came near.
“It’s coming.”
Nathan glanced over at him, grinning, and then looked back at Tabitha.
“But I think that’s all for today,” Tabitha said, hanging the tarp on the fence. She led Stormy to the gate leading to the pasture, took off the halter and let her go.
Morgan was disappointed he didn’t have a chance to see her in action. He would like to see what her technique was, how she worked with the horse.
Tabitha carefully climbed over the railing instead of going through the gate. The panel wobbled as she stepped over and Morgan caught her as she faltered.
For a split second she was suspended, leaning on him, her shocked glance holding his as time wheeled backward. She was seventeen and he was helping her over a fence at his parents’ place after they had gone for a long walk along the pasture, up into the hills.
Just for a moment he remembered how much she had meant to him then. The dreams he had spun around her and the future he had planned for them.
Then she regained her balance and tugged her arm free, and they were both firmly back in the present again.
“Thanks,” she murmured, to his surprise.
He thought she would be upset with him.
Tabitha looked over at Nathan as she slipped the halter and rope over her shoulder. “So, what do you think, buddy?”
“I think I really like Stormy,” he said. “And I’m excited to ride her.”
“You know it won’t be for a while, though,” Morgan put in.
But Nathan ignored him, looking instead at Tabitha as if the sun rose and set on her. “I’m thirsty,” he said, suddenly. “Can I have a drink at your house?”
“Well... I suppose...” Tabitha hesitated, glancing at Morgan.
“Maybe Miss Tabitha wants to get to her work,” Morgan advised, sensing Tabitha’s uncertainty. “You’ve been with her all day.”
“I can’t wait until we get to our house,” Nathan said, his gaze firmly fixed on Tabitha. “I’m thirsty now.”
“That’s no way to ask,” Morgan reprimanded him.
“Can I please have a drink?” Nathan asked, correcting himself.
Tabitha looked from Morgan to Nathan, then gave in
. “Sure you can.”
Tabitha gave Nathan a smile and he beamed back at her. Morgan felt a surprising twinge of jealousy. His son seemed more connected to Tabitha than to him.
“I need to put this halter away and then we’ll go to the house,” Tabitha said.
“I’ll come with you,” Nathan said.
“No, that’s okay—” But Nathan was already running ahead.
Morgan guessed why she had protested, but now they were all together, walking to the barn.
As they did, they skirted the bodies of a couple of old cars. The windows of the vehicles were broken and the tires flat. They weren’t going anywhere soon.
“Where did those cars come from?” Nathan asked as Tabitha pulled open the door of the old hip roof barn and stepped inside.
“My dad got them from a friend,” Tabitha called out from the dim interior. She came back out and closed the door, the hinges creaking out a protest.
“Do they work?”
“Nope. And they didn’t when he purchased them, either.”
“Then why did he buy them?”
Tabitha shoved her hands in her pockets, her steps more hurried as they walked around a couple of old farm implements and a stack of metal and wood leaning precariously against a weathered shed. “Same reason he bought all the other stuff in the yard. Thought he would use it someday for something.”
Tabitha’s voice held a defensive edge, and Morgan knew they weren’t supposed to see this side of the place.
“Your dad bought this place when your family moved here, didn’t he?”
“Yes, he did.”
“I remember my father being upset because he was hoping to buy it.”
“Probably one of many times that would happen, I’m sure.”
He was about to ask her more but then they came near the house. “I have to say, you did an amazing job on the house and the yard.”
She smiled, her shoulders lowering, her posture less defensive.
“This place has been a huge work in progress for me,” Tabitha said with a faint note of pride in her voice. “Every minute I can spare, I’ve been fixing it up.”
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