“Yeah, but I know some couples who’ve made it work.”
“Guess that’s true. Emma Yoder’s a widow, and I’ll bet you anything she and her husband had a good marriage. Even with him gone, her face lights up like a jar of lightnin’ bugs whenever she mentions his name.”
“Yeah, well I hope my folks get their act together soon, ‘cause I sure don’t wanna see ‘em go their separate ways. They’ve been married too many years to throw in the towel.”
“Maybe they oughta see a marriage counselor. That’s what the couple takin’ our class is doin’; although I ain’t sure it’s done ‘em much good.” Jan bumped Terry’s arm. “Turn right here. That’s Emma’s house up ahead.”
When they pulled into Emma’s yard, Jan was surprised to see Star sitting on the front porch by herself. What was even more surprising was that she wasn’t wearing her black hooded sweatshirt.
“You wanna come up to the house and meet Emma and Star?” Jan asked, turning to Terry.
“Naw, you go ahead.”
“Okay. I’ll just be gone long enough to get what I left.” Jan hopped out of the truck and hurried across the yard.
“I’m surprised to see you here this mornin’,” he said to Star as he stepped onto the porch.
“Came to talk to Emma awhile.” She smiled. At least he thought it was a smile. Her lips were curved slightly upwards. “I’m surprised to see you here, too.”
“I’m on my way to work, but I wanted to come by and get the quiltin’ project I left when I ran outta here on Saturday.”
“So what’d you find out? Was it your dog that had been hit?” she asked.
“It must have been, ‘cause when I got home Brutus wasn’t in his pen, and there ain’t been no sign of him since.”
“That’s too bad.” Star’s somber-looking face let Jan know that she felt his pain. He figured behind that defiant attitude lay a heart of compassion. Out of all of Emma’s other students, Star was the one who seemed the most real. Probably didn’t have a phony bone in her body. Jan kind of liked her because she had spunk. Didn’t care what anyone thought of her either. Too bad she wasn’t a couple of years older, or he might consider asking her out. ‘Course, he’d known a few other guys who’d dated younger women, but then he wasn’t really looking to get serious about anyone again. Right now with all the roofing jobs he had lined up for the summer, he had enough to occupy his time.
“Did you check at the Humane Society to see if the dog had been taken there?” Star asked.
He nodded, unwilling to admit that he hadn’t bothered to get Brutus any form of identification.
“So, where’s Emma?” he asked, quickly changing the subject before he ended up blubbering about how much he missed Brutus.
Star motioned to the door. “She went to the kitchen to get us some iced tea.”
“Guess I’ll go inside and ask about my stuff, and then I need to be on my way.”
“Before you go, you might like to know that you weren’t the only one who left the class early the other day,” Star said. “Oh?”
“Yeah, Ruby Lee got a call from the hospital, sayin’ her husband had been taken there.”
“That’s too bad. What was wrong with him?”
Star shrugged. “I’m not sure. Ruby Lee took off like a shot after she got the call. Hopefully it wasn’t serious and she’ll be back for the class this Saturday.”
Jan couldn’t help but notice the look of concern on Star’s face. It was refreshing to meet a young woman who cared about people. He looked forward to getting to know her better in the coming weeks—maybe some of the others in the class as well. It seemed that joining their little quilting club was one of the few things he’d done right lately, rather than adding to the list of bad decisions he’d made.
Carrying two glasses of iced tea, Emma left the kitchen. She was just passing through her sewing room when she nearly collided with Jan.
“Oh my! You startled me. I—I didn’t realize you were here.”
“I’m on my way to work and decided to stop by and get my wall hangin’,” he explained, looking a bit embarrassed. “I left here in such a hurry on Saturday I forgot to take it with me.”
“Yes, I was sorry about that,” Emma said, noticing the look of sadness in Jan’s eyes. “Did you find out whether it was your dog that had been hit?”
Jan nodded soberly. “I’m sure it must’ve been Brutus.”
“You must miss him very much.”
“Yeah, I sure do, but it’s my own stupid fault. Shoulda made sure his pen was secure all the way around and over the top, ‘cause I’m convinced that must be how he got out.”
“Blaming yourself will not bring the dog back, and it won’t help you feel any better about losing him, either,” Emma said gently.
“I know that.” Jan hung his head. “Guess it’s a good thing I’m not tryin’ to raise any kids, ‘cause I’d probably bumble that, too.”
Emma set the glasses of iced tea on the sewing table and impulsively reached out to touch Jan’s arm. “I’m really sorry for your loss.”
“Thanks. I appreciate that.”
“You know, Jan, a lot of accidents have happened within my Amish community, and even within my own family unit.” Emma paused a moment to gather her thoughts. “One time when I was a little girl, one of my friends drowned in her uncle’s pond.”
Jan’s eyes widened. “That’s a shame.”
She gave a nod. “It was a shock to everyone, and at first Elsie’s parents blamed themselves for not keeping a close enough watch on her.”
“I can understand that.”
“They weren’t the only ones who blamed themselves. Elsie’s uncle Toby blamed himself because he should have put a fence up around the pond.”
Jan gave a nod. “Guess they were all to blame then, huh?”
Emma shrugged. “I’m not sure if anyone was really to blame, except for my friend, who knew she couldn’t swim and shouldn’t have gone anywhere near that pond. The point is, blaming didn’t bring Elsie back, and until her folks and her uncle came to accept Elsie’s death and moved on, there was no healing for any of them.”
“But they did finally accept it. Is that what you’re sayin’?”
Emma nodded. “They still grieved and missed Elsie, of course, but when they stopped blaming themselves and accepted her death, knowing she was in a better place with God, then healing began in their hearts.”
“But Brutus is a dog. He wouldn’t have gone to heaven. Right?”
Emma turned her hands palm up. “Only God and those who are with Him right now know whether there are animals in heaven or not.” She smiled up at Jan and gave his arm another gentle pat. “The main thing to remember is that your dog isn’t suffering, and if you focus on the good memories you have of him, it’ll help to heal the pain you feel so intensely right now.”
Jan, his eyes now glassy with tears, smiled and said, “Thank you, Emma. I’m sure glad I stopped by here today, and I look forward to seein’ you on Saturday for another quiltin’ lesson.”
Emma nodded. She hoped, Lord willing, that she’d be up to teaching the class.
CHAPTER 22
Elkhart
For the last couple of days, Paul had been trying to reach Carmen, but here it was Wednesday, and she hadn’t returned any of his calls.
Should I try again before I leave for school? he wondered, glancing at the phone. Guess there’s not much point. Carmen obviously doesn’t want to talk to me, or she would have responded to at least one of my calls.
Paul didn’t know why it bothered him so much that Carmen had cut them out of her life. It wasn’t as if she was Sophia’s only aunt. It just hurt to know that she blamed him for Lorinda’s death and didn’t care enough about Sophia to come for a visit—or at least keep in contact with them.
He glanced at Sophia sitting in her high chair, patiently waiting to be fed. Not only would his precious little girl never know her mother, but it looked as if she wouldn’t know
her aunt Carmen either.
Paul had spoken to Lorinda’s mother last night, asking about the trip they were planning to make to Indiana sometime this summer. When he’d mentioned that he hoped Carmen might come with them, Ramona had dismissed it lightly, saying Carmen had just started a new job and wouldn’t be able to take time off for any trips this year. While that might be true enough, it didn’t excuse Carmen for refusing to answer his calls.
Carmen was five years younger than Lorinda and had always been very independent. She’d gone to college right out of high school, and after she’d graduated and landed a job as a reporter for one of the Los Angeles newspapers, she’d rented an apartment several miles from her folks. Ramona had suggested that Carmen live at home for a while so she could save her money for other things, but Carmen wouldn’t hear of it. She wanted to be out on her own. Carmen’s career seemed to come first, and as far as Paul knew, Carmen didn’t have a serious boyfriend.
Oh well … it’s none of my business what Carmen does. I just wish she’d open the lines of communication with me again, Paul thought as he took a seat beside Sophia to feed her a bowl of cooked cereal.
Sophia looked up at him and grinned. “Pa-pa-pa.”
Paul leaned over and kissed her soft cheek. “That’s right little one, and you can always count on me.”
Goshen
After Gene left to make a hospital call on one of their parishioners, Ruby Lee had felt the need for some fresh air and sunshine, so she’d left the house right after breakfast and headed for the Pumpkinvine Nature Trail.
As she walked briskly along trying to clear her head, she spotted a clump of violets growing along the edge of the path. Seeing the flowers caused Ruby Lee to think about her friend Annette, whose favorite flowers were violets. She’d e-mailed and called Annette several more times, but no response. Was Annette mad at her? Could she have said or done something that may have ruined their friendship? It didn’t make any sense. Even though Ruby Lee had originally decided to keep her frustrations to herself, she desperately needed to talk to someone about the church’s problems and the way Gene had been responding to them. She’d hoped Annette might offer some sympathy and understanding—maybe even give her a suggestion or two. If Annette lived closer, Ruby Lee would pay her a visit, but a trip to Nashville wasn’t possible right now. Ruby Lee had commitments at church, not to mention finishing the quilt class she’d enrolled in.
Refusing to give in to self-pity, which seemed to be right at the surface these days, Ruby Lee picked up the pace and hurried on.
Concentrating on the soothing motion of Rock Run Creek, which ran beside the trail, and the gentle breeze whispering through the canopy of trees overhead, she tried to relax. She had only gone a short ways when she spotted a young, dark-haired woman with a ponytail, who was dressed in a pair of black shorts and a matching tank top, running along the trail in the opposite direction. As the woman approached, Ruby Lee realized it was Star; although she almost didn’t recognize her without that usual black sweatshirt.
“Hey, sister! I’m surprised to see you here on the Pumpkinvine Trail,” Ruby Lee called. It felt good to see a familiar face—someone who wasn’t likely to judge.
“Hi, how’s it going? How’s your husband doing?” Star asked.
“He’s fine. We were worried at first that it might be his heart, but everything checked out okay.” Ruby Lee chose not to mention that the doctor had told Gene he’d had an anxiety attack. Star would probably want to know why, and Ruby Lee didn’t feel like talking about it—at least not with her.
“Do you come here often?” Ruby Lee asked as Star turned and started walking in the same direction as her.
“Once or twice a week.” Star picked up a stone and threw it in the water. “Or whenever I need to run and take out my frustrations. It’s great here, isn’t it?”
“Yes, it really is a beautiful place. I come here frequently, and for the same reason as you,” Ruby Lee admitted. “Only I don’t run.”
Star stared at Ruby Lee, as though in disbelief. “I can’t imagine you having any frustrations.”
Ruby Lee blinked her eyes. “What makes you think that?”
“You’re always so happy-go-lucky during our quilting classes—like you don’t have a care in the world. Except for last Saturday when you got the call about your husband, that is. I could tell you were pretty upset.”
“Well, we all have our share of troubles, so there’s bound to be times when we’re upset and need to do something to help relieve our stress.”
“That’s for sure.”
“I wonder how Jan is doing,” Ruby Lee said, quickly changing the subject. “He seemed really upset on Saturday when Paul told him about seeing that dead dog on his way to Emma’s.”
“I saw Jan on Monday,” Star said. “I dropped by Emma’s to talk to her about some things I’ve been dealing with at home, and while I was there, Jan stopped by to pick up his quilting project.”
“Did he say anything about his dog?”
“Yep. Said when he got home Brutus wasn’t in his pen, so he’s almost sure it was his dog that was hit.”
“That’s a shame.”
“Yeah. Poor guy called the Humane Society, and they said they’d disposed of the dog’s body, so Jan couldn’t even go there to see whether it was Brutus or not. Jan tried to hide it, but I could tell he was taking it pretty hard.” Star’s expression was one of compassion, causing Ruby Lee to see a different side of the young woman.
As they continued to walk, they talked about Emma and how sweet and kindhearted she seemed to be.
“Emma’s full of good advice, too,” Star said. “Even shared with me some things about her past.”
“Is that so?”
“Yeah, but I guess it’s not my place to be blabbin’ any of the things she told me.”
“No, you’re right. When someone confides in us about something, it’s best not to tell anyone else.”
“So what do you think of Stuart and Pam?” Star asked, taking their conversation in a little different direction.
“Well, it’s really not my place to say, but I believe they’re both very unhappy in their marriage,” Ruby Lee replied.
“I got that impression right off the bat. Think they’ll finish taking Emma’s classes?”
“I don’t know. I guess we’ll have to wait and see how it goes.” Ruby Lee motioned to a nearby bench. “Shall we take a seat?”
They sat quietly for a while, watching the squirrels run back and forth across the path. Then Ruby Lee asked Star a few questions about herself and was surprised to learn that the young woman not only sang and played the guitar, but had composed a few songs.
“Why don’t you sing something you’ve written for me?” Ruby Lee asked.
Star’s dark eyes widened. “Here? Now?”
“I wish you would.”
“But none of my songs are completed yet. I just have a few lines written on each of them,” Star said.
“That’s all right. I’d like to hear some of the lyrics you’ve come up with.”
“Well, okay.” In a hesitant voice, Star began to sing. “Can’t seem to look behind the right door; maybe that’s ‘cause I don’t know exactly what I’m looking for….” As she continued into the chorus, her tone grew stronger. “It’s hard to breathe…. It’s hard to sleep…. It’s hard to know who you are when you’re a lost and falling star.”
When Star finished the song, she turned to Ruby Lee and said, “It’s not much, but at least it’s a beginning to something that I hope I’ll be able to complete.”
“Oh, I’m sure you will, and Star, you certainly have a lovely voice,” Ruby Lee said truthfully. “The words to your song were well written, but my only concern is that they evoke a message of sadness and hopelessness. Is that the way you really feel?”
Star nodded solemnly. “Nothin’ ever goes right for me, and I—I feel kinda lost, like I don’t know what purpose I serve here on earth.”
Ruby Le
e placed her hand over Star’s, unable to speak around the lump in her throat. Here was a young woman without hope, and Ruby Lee, a pastor’s wife and professing Christian, couldn’t think of a thing to say but, “I’m sorry, Star.”
“That’s just how it is—life stinks!” Star leaped to her feet. “Guess I’d better finish my run and head for home. Mom’s probably havin’ a hissy fit wondering why I’m so late gettin’ home from work this morning. See you on Saturday, Ruby Lee.” She turned and sprinted in the opposite direction, leaving Ruby Lee alone on the bench, feeling even worse than when she’d left home. Oh, how she wished she had shared the love of Jesus with Star right then. She’d seen Star’s need and how quickly she covered up her emotions, and yet she’d missed the perfect opportunity to tell the confused young woman about God’s love. Was it because she felt so hopeless and sad herself? Truth was, Ruby Lee really needed someone to encourage her today, but Star, not even knowing Ruby Lee’s need, hadn’t been able to do that. Worse yet, Ruby Lee hadn’t met Star’s real need either.
Shipshewana
Emma cringed as she directed her horse and buggy toward the health food store. Every move she made and every bump in the road made the lesions on her stomach rub against her clothes and hurt like the dickens. While Emma was getting dressed that morning, she’d discovered several painful blisters and realized she had in fact developed another case of shingles. She’d immediately gone to the phone shack to call her naturopathic doctor but was unable to get an appointment until tomorrow. So she’d decided to head to the health food store near the Shipshewana Flea Market to find a remedy that might help with her painful symptoms. If her blisters continued to hurt like this, she wondered how she could teach the quilting class on Saturday. She would have asked Mary to take over for her, but Mary and her family had left this morning for Sullivan, Illinois, to attend the wedding of Brian’s cousin, and they wouldn’t be back until Saturday evening.
When Emma arrived at the health food store, she guided her horse up to the hitching rail and gritted her teeth as she climbed down. Just the slightest movement caused pain, making her wish she’d asked someone else to make the trip for her. Emma really wished she could be home in bed.
The Half-Stitched Amish Quilting Club Page 16