“I know,” he said, laughing a little. “I don’t mind. Honestly.”
“Don’t mind,” she repeated. “That’s not exactly the same as wanting to spend the afternoon with someone. How about we don’t, and say we did.”
He knew she was trying to be funny but he didn’t laugh. He was gripped with the fear that she was going to get in her car and drive away without understanding what he’d been trying to say. He’d once quoted Same Spade from the Maltese Falcon to her but he wasn’t a tough guy from the mean streets. He just a carpenter who was trying to say what was in his heart. “I said ‘don’t mind’ but actually should have said ‘really, really want to’.”
One brow went up and she hesitated, as if trying to decide whether he was serious. “I guess it could be a doggy play date.”
“Not that they need any encouragement on that front.”
Her lips twitched. “True.” A moment later, she sobered. “So, what do you want to do? Walk around Arcadia Creek Park?”
Silas looked up at the bright blue sky and prayed for inspiration. Lord, help us get past this place, past what I’ve done. But there was nowhere in Arcadia Valley that didn’t have some connection to that time in their lives, however fragile the link. From that realization, another idea took shape but he would be taking a leap of faith just suggesting it.
The heat seemed to kick up a notch and Silas felt a bead of sweat slide down his back. Waving her toward the shade of a tree at the edge of the parking lot, he waited until they were out of the glaring sun before asking, “What about taking a drive?”
“Drive? Like down country roads?”
“Like… out of this town.” He stopped there, watching her for the fear and suspicion that surely would flicker in her eyes.
To his surprise, she started to smile. “You have a destination in mind? Or are we just hitting the highway with two giant mastiffs and driving until we have to stop?”
“I was thinking about hiking the canyon, but just heading off into the wilds doesn’t sound bad at all. Road tripping with Loki and Thor could be a thing.”
“Loki, Thor and seven puppies,” she corrected. “Even better.”
“We’d have to get a motorhome.”
She was laughing out loud as she swept her hand across an imaginary window. “I can just see the stickers on the back. Girl person, boy person, big dog, big dog, little dog, little dog, little dog, little dog, little dog…”
“My mom always got a kick out of Juan and Julia Gonzalez’s car window stickers. They have the four kids, two cats, and their dog. Takes up most of the window.” It was a bittersweet memory. His mother had always wanted a large family. She hadn’t made any secret of her miscarriages, but she didn’t speak about it very often. It made her too sad.
As if sensing his change in mood, Violet’s laughter faded away. “She really loved the school kids.”
“She loved all kids. She really was looking forward to having grandkids someday.”
“Oh,” Violet said softly.
“She died without any regrets and she was secure in her faith, but I see Romy with Luke and I wonder what it’s going to be like for her when she starts a family. At least Mrs. Delis is there to be a grandma.” He shook his head. “If Romy does get married and have kids with Luke, I mean.”
She smiled. “It’s hard not to jump to that when you see them together, right?”
“Pretty obvious, isn’t it?” It didn’t bother him as much as it had just a few weeks ago. Maybe he was getting used to the idea.
“Yeah, it is.” She seemed wistful, looking up at the leaves of the tree above them. “They seem really happy. There’s nothing better than friends who fall in love, don’t you think?”
“Agreed. Although I’ve never been in love,” he amended.
“Me, either. I hadn’t even really thought much about it until…” Her cheeks turned pink. “It’s probably just the age, you know? Everybody starts falling in love and getting married and having kids.” She looked around the parking lot. “So, what were you thinking?”
“About marriage? Or kids?” Surprise made him stutter but he wanted to be honest with her. “I wasn’t really thinking about it. I mean, I have. More recently than before I moved back to Arcadia Valley. And maybe you’re right. Maybe it’s just the age when people start getting married and it seems to pop up everywhere.” He felt like he wasn’t explaining himself very well. “Not all the time, but more than before. It just seems more of a possibility now when a few years ago I never would have wondered what kind of dad I’d be or noticed how long some people have been married.”
She was looking at him, as if trying to puzzle out his reasoning. He hurried on. “The Camdens were married fifty five years. That always seemed impossible to me. But I can see it now. If you make a vow before God, it means something.”
Violet nodded. “I know what you mean.”
“Sometimes I’m worried that I won’t be a good husband because I never saw a marriage up close like that. After my dad died, my mom just didn’t seem interested in remarrying. But she was a great mother and I hope I can be a good parent like she was. Maybe it doesn’t matter and striving to be a perfect parent is an impossible dream. Maybe we all just bumble along as best we can and we pray God fills in the gaps,” he said.
Violet bit her lip and seemed to be choosing her words carefully. “I think you’ll be a great dad,” she said softly. “And a great husband.”
Relief rushed through him.
“But before… when I asked what you thought, I was asking about our plans for our hike,” she said.
His relief turned as quickly to intense mortification. “Oh, right.” He wanted to rewind the last few minutes, right up to the point he thought she’d been asking about his existential angst and not his afternoon plans.
“Thank you for sharing that, though” she said quickly. “I feel the same way. It all seems so scary to me. How do people stand up there and blithely take a vow that will last their entire lives? How do they take home a tiny infant whose life is literally in their hands?” She looked up at the leaves again. “I just don’t know if I’m that brave. I love reading all those mysteries and thrillers, with fierce people doing outrageous things, but I’m really pretty weak.”
“I don’t think you’re weak at all.” He’d tried his best to break her and she’d survived. Not only survived, but emerged stronger than ever. And then she’d forgiven him. He couldn’t think of anything stronger than that.
He started to speak but the shrill ring of his cell phone interrupted his sentence. “Sorry,” he said as he took it out of his pocket. Glancing at the screen, he frowned. “Ron’s calling.”
Fear passed over Violet’s face. They had just been there in the room with Ron and Elise. “Maybe he forgot to tell me something,” he said, his chest tightening.
Putting the phone to his ear, he could hardly hear his greeting over the beating of his heart. “Everything okay?”
“They can’t wait any longer.” Ron’s voice was thick with emotion. “I had to make a decision.”
Silas swallowed hard. “We’ll be right back. We’re still in the parking lot.”
“No hurry,” Ron said. “No reason to hurry now.”
He froze, the phone to his ear. He needed to know what had happened, but couldn’t get the words out. Violet stepped forward and took his hand, her eyes filled with tears.
Ron cleared his throat. “They say the surgery will take three or four hours. I just wanted to let you know that she took a turn and we had to make a choice. I hope I did the right thing. She was okay with just going home but I convinced her to push for the surgery. I just can’t let her go yet. I know I said I could, but I can’t.”
Silas almost slumped with relief. He closed his eyes, regaining his composure. He had been so sure that they would be planning Elise’s funeral. And they still might be. Bypass surgery at her age was risky at best.
Violet squeezed his hand and he looked down at her, forgetti
ng that she couldn’t hear the whole conversation. “Thanks for letting us know. We’re coming back up there.”
Ron said goodbye and Silas slipped the phone back into his pocket. “They took her into surgery,” he said.
Her eyes went wide and he could see her readjusting her emotions. “Oh. I thought…”
“I did, too.” He looked down at their linked hands and thought of that shining moment where they’d been planning their afternoon together. He’d imagined letting the dogs play at Centennial Waterfront Park while they spent some time alone, just the four of them. Just as quickly as disappointment flooded his emotions, it faded away. He and Violet were just where they were meant to be.
Her love and loyalty to her mother had brought Violet to the restaurant for the weeks he’d been working there. His love for Elise and Ron had thrown them together again. Her friendship with Romy had united them in the garden. Over and over, they had ended up side by side because of their love for their friends and family.
He looked into Violet’s dark eyes and felt more sure of her than he had of almost anything in the last few years. People said timing was everything, and Silas wished he knew whether he should speak now, or wait until the end of the day. It wasn’t a matter of whether he would declare himself to her, but when. Violet had walked into his life and changed everything around, reminding him of who he wanted to be and how far he had come.
She squeezed his hand. “We’d better head back inside,” she said softly.
Silas nodded and together they stepped out of the shade of the tree, and toward the long hours ahead. Ron had told him not to waste time and Elise had told him to seize the day, but Silas knew that sitting vigil with a friend was where he was meant to be. If he was given a chance, God willing, he would tell her what was on his heart, but for now, Elise and Ron came first.
***
Violet tried to calm her heart as they walked back toward the hospital. What she had been hoping and wondering over had finally come to pass. Well, perhaps not completely and definitively, but she was holding Silas’s hand. Silas, the guy whose name had made her stomach clench for the past decade. Silas, the person she’d talked to God about for years, trying not to hate him because she knew hating someone was wrong, but at the same time, unable to be stronger than her feelings. She glanced up at him, in awe at how their lives had come together in the last few weeks. Jamie might think she’d lost her mind, but what had happened between this former bad boy delinquent and the girl he had bullied wasn’t crazy. It was miraculous.
Chapter Eighteen
And Spring herself, when she woke at dawn,
Would scarcely know that we were gone.”
― Sara Teasdale, Flame and Shadow
Jamie handed the iced mocha to Violet and sat down on the hard plastic chair beside her. Her cheeks were flushed from the heat outside but Violet knew her friend would regret wearing shorts and a light T-shirt if she spent any amount of time at the hospital. The place must have top-notch air conditioning because Violet was freezing, even with the sweater she’d brought from the car.
“Any news?” Jamie asked.
“Nothing yet.” She glanced at the swinging doors at the end of the hallway. Ron, Silas, and Mrs. Delis were in the waiting room just to the right. They were solemn but calm, praying every so often, joining hands and entreating God to guide Elise’s doctor’s hand. Violet had never realized what torture a waiting room could be for families who waited for news, and she couldn’t imagine what it would be like to keep that vigil alone.
“I saw your mom when I was getting the mochas,” Jamie said, pausing to take a sip. “She said when she went to pick up some keys from the restaurant, the police came by to talk to her.”
Violet sat up. “Why? Was there another break in?” Fire and Brimstone was closed on Sunday. The police would have called unless it was important enough to track down her mother in person.
She shook her head, her blond hair brushing her shoulders. “They finally got the guy to talk. Justin whatever-his-name was.”
“Kent,” Violet said. Silas had been right about the last name.
“Yeah, since it was an attempted armed robbery, he decided to trade information for a plea deal.”
Violet grimaced. She wanted to know who had given him information, but the article in the paper said he’d lived in Arcadia Valley a long time ago, just returning from Boise. Plagued with a drug addiction, the guy had a long rap sheet of trespassing, shoplifting, assault, battery, and burglary. Somehow, he always seemed to spend the minimum amount of time in jail. Violet shivered at the memory of their encounter. The man had been desperate and shaking with anger.
“So, how did he know I’d be there?”
“Remember that waitress who only showed up for a day or two? I can’t remember her name. She had red hair and lots of make-up,” Jamie said. “I guess she was scoping the place out for him.”
“Bernadette,” Violet said. Bernadette had practically begged to handle the deposits and paperwork, even though she’d been hired for waitressing. “That makes so much sense now.”
“I wonder how she knew your mom needed help. Probably saw a flyer at the Gas N Shop.” Jamie leaned back in the seat, trying to get comfortable. Her mocha was half gone, a layer of water visible from the melted ice.
“No, I remember she said that Silas told her…” Violet felt the words die in her throat. Bernadette had said that Silas had told her about the job and that they were friends. Silas had known Justin, too. The one connection between the robber and his accomplice was the man sitting right down the hallway, the one her heart had grown to love.
Jamie gave her a puzzled look. “Well, it doesn’t matter now. The police arrested her this morning. She’d been hiding at a friend’s place in Twin Falls, but people talk. It wasn’t hard to find her, I guess.”
She nodded, trying to focus on the conversation. The condensation made the plastic cup feel slick in her hands and Violet set it on her knees, shivering at the touch. Or maybe it was from the fear that was racing through her. Silas had always been able to fool the gullible people around him. Violet had always been able to see through him. Until she couldn’t.
Doubt bore down on her with a crushing weight. The more she thought about it, the more she realized that with Silas, there was no even ground. It was high or low, emotions running hot or cold. Maybe she was one of those women who was addicted to drama. Maybe she had subconsciously sought out a relationship with Silas, knowing he would cause her pain and grief.
“Are you okay?” Jamie asked, putting a hand on her shoulder.
“I’m fine. Just… thinking.” She closed her eyes for a moment. She couldn’t make her mind stop grabbing at details, flashes of memory. Everything Silas had said or done now seemed ominous. All of his time at Fire and Brimstone had been innocent-looking enough and the beautiful redwood counter bar that he’d installed was the shining jewel of the seating area, but he’d made a point to get a good look at other areas of the restaurant. He’d known more than most about the way the place worked, and he didn’t even have to pry, like Bernadette. Violet had told him everything he needed to know.
She felt her chest tighten and tried to take deep breaths. She’d been such a fool. All those moments of emotional connection, when she’d felt God moving them together were overshadowed with double meanings. Picking tomatoes in his garden like a regular guy, going to the same church service as she did, befriending Elise and Ron as if he actually liked old people, giving her the Dorothy L. Sayers book, doing dishes at her mom’s house― it all seemed different now. His heartfelt apology had clearly been just one more step in his plan. He’d been a con artist as a teen, and he hadn’t changed.
“I need to go… run an errand.” She stood up, unable to stay there and face her foolishness any longer. “Can you tell them I’ll be back later?”
Jamie stood up, concern in her eyes. “Are you sure? Why don’t we tell them together and I can come with you?”
“No,
I’m sorry. I have to hurry.” Violet was already walking away. She had to be alone. She had to think without Silas’s good looks and clever words distracting her. Her mind had to rule over her heart, because clearly her heart couldn’t be trusted.
***
Silas looked up as Jamie came into the room and knew immediately that something was wrong. Her pretty blue eyes were troubled and as she greeted them, her smile was tight.
“Violet had to run an errand.” She shifted her feet, as if unsure whether to sit down.
Mrs. Delis patted the chair next to her. “Come here. Tell us some news so we don’t worry so much.”
Ron nodded. “I turned off the TV. What a load of junk. And that laugh track was giving me a headache.”
“Well, the police told Mrs. Tam that they found the person who gave them information about Fire and Brimstone,” Jamie said.
“Great news. I was afraid they’d never catch the guy.” Ron hesitated. “Not that I doubted Gloria and Felipe and the chief. It’s just hard to track down these criminals sometimes, especially when they won’t talk.”
“It was one of the servers,” Jamie said. She was looking at Silas. He thought over the servers he knew and couldn’t imagine any of them being part of a robbery. “Her name was Bernadette,” she said.
“A shame,” Mrs. Delis said, shaking her head. “Who can you trust?”
Jamie dropped her gaze and Silas felt several key pieces of information slide together. He knew Bernadette. She was friends with Eric Cooper, the guy he hired to help install his larger jobs. She’d brought Eric lunch a few times. When she’d said she was looking for a job, Silas had let her know that Fire and Brimstone was short-staffed. And now Violet had disappeared, sending Jamie to tell them the news in her place. She thought he was the same criminal he had been so many years ago.
“Can I get anybody anything? I can run to the store or…” Jamie bit her lip.
Summer's Glory: Seasons of Faith Book One (Arcadia Valley Romance 2) Page 15