Beautifully Insightful

by K. C. Lynn

  Just as I exit the car my cell phone rings. I look at the number to see it’s Nick. “Go on in, baby, I’ll be right there.”

  “Okay, but, Jameson?” I look at her when she addresses me. She steps closer then grabs my shirt and pulls me down for a kiss. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me too, and when we get home I hope you spank me again.”

  My dick jerks in my pants and before I even have a chance to respond she sashays her sweet ass across the lawn and into the house. I blow out a breath and pull myself together before answering. “Jameson,” I croak, my voice sounding husky even to my own ears.

  “Hey, any word from the housekeeper yet?”

  “No, we just got here and…” I trail off as an agonized scream rips from the house. My heart instantly stops and my blood turns to ice when I register it’s Emily’s. I hang up, not bothering to say bye, and pull my weapon before rushing into the house. “Emily?” I shout and train my gun around the still house, searching for any kind of threat. My panic escalates when she doesn’t respond. I follow the sound of her tortured cries and I end up finding her in the master bedroom. Oh fuck! The sight I’m met with will forever be ingrained in my head. Emily on her knees, covered in blood as she holds a lifeless Rosa in her arms.

  “Ryder, hurry, come here and help her, you need to help her. I don’t know what to do.” She sobs, her hands covering Rosa’s bloody chest as she cradles her in her arms. Even from here I can see she’s dead, her eyes open and lifeless. “Hurry!” she screams again. “Why aren’t you doing anything?”

  I walk over and kneel down beside her. “Em, baby,” I whisper, finding it difficult to talk past the excruciating burn in my throat, the sound of her pain hitting me like a physical blow to the chest.

  “It’s okay, Rosa, just hang on, Ryder’s going to help you.” She sobs, kissing her forehead. I’m not sure if she really doesn’t know she’s dead or she just doesn’t want to believe it.

  “Em, I’m sorry but it’s too late. We…”

  “No, it’s not!” she screams, grabbing my shirt in desperation. “You help her now! You bring her back right fucking now!” She loses her breath from her uncontrollable sobs and starts hitting me in the chest.

  I grab her wrists to restrain her blows.” Listen to me, goddammit!” I shout, trying to break through her grief. “It’s too late, baby. I’m so fucking sorry, but she’s gone, Em. We can’t do anything to help her.”

  “Nooooo!” Her hands cover her ears as she screams the most agonized screams I’ve ever heard in my life. I lock my arms around her and pull her against me, the sound of her anguish completely shattering me. Her screams are ones I will hear for the rest of my life.

  Emily

  I sit at the bottom of the shower, trying to feel the hot water pounding down on me but can’t. I can’t feel anything but the excruciating pain in my chest. I scrub my hands mercilessly, trying to get the blood off of them, and sob when I think about how it got there.

  “Em?” I hear Ryder’s voice distantly as he enters the bathroom and kneels beside the tub. “Shit, stop.” He grabs my wrists to stop my insistent scrubbing.

  “I need to get the blood off,” I explain with a choked whisper.

  “It’s gone, baby, you’re rubbing them raw.”

  I stare down at them, not being able to see through my burning, watery eyes. Ryder reaches over and shuts off the shower. I pull my knees to my chest and wrap my arms around myself, desperately trying to get warm but can’t. But he pulls them apart before I register him wrapping a towel around my body. Lifting me, he carries me to bed then lies down next to me, pulling me back snug against his chest. His arms hold me close but I don’t feel their warmth. I feel nothing, I feel dead inside.

  “Tell me what to do, Em. Tell me how to make it better, it’s fucking killing me to see you like this.”

  “Bring her back,” I whisper achingly, knowing I’m asking the impossible.

  I hear him blow out a gruff breath. “If I could trade places with her, baby, I would.” Silent tears pour down my face as I think about him being where Rosa is. “I just want you to be okay, tell me you’re going to be okay, Emily?”

  I don’t respond because I can’t. I don’t think I’m going to ever be okay again, not without Rosa, not without the only person who ever loved me.

  Ryder

  A few nights later, I awaken from the sound of soft sobs, but am confused as to why I have a raging hard-on. I open my eyes to find Emily on top of me, straddling my hips. Tears stream down her cheeks, her face twisted in grief and despair. “I need you,” she sobs. “I need you to make me feel something other than this excruciating pain.” She clutches at her chest showing me where it hurts before shedding herself of my shirt, baring me to the most beautiful, but heartbreaking sight of my life.

  I jump into action and flip her over, coming over top of her. I kiss her sweet lips that tremble with agony and taste her tears. Sweeping my tongue in, I try to inhale all of her pain and make it only my own, wanting her to stop hurting so bad.

  “Ryder, please,” she pleads with a cry, pushing at my underwear. I pull them down just enough to free my cock then run my fingers through her wet heat, testing her readiness. When I find her ready, I line my cock up and plunge inside of her. She gasps and her fingernails bite into my shoulders. I keep my strokes slow and deliberate.

  “Faster,” she chokes out, trying to speed up my rhythm.

  I grind my teeth in restraint and shake my head. “No, baby, just like this.” For days I’ve been waiting for the opportunity to help her in some way. No matter how hard I tried she wouldn’t let me in, and now that she is I don’t want to fuck this up. I don’t want just her body. I want her; I want my girl back.

  She stares up at me with the saddest fucking eyes I’ve ever seen. “It hurts so bad,” she says with a sob, her words slicing through me like a hot blade.

  “I know, baby. I’m sorry. So fucking sorry, Em,” I whisper, then kiss her wet cheeks, wanting to erase her tears. I move down past her collarbone and press my lips over her heart, feeling it tremble with her grief.

  She weaves her fingers in my hair with desperation, holding me to her. “She was all I had,” she chokes out, “she was the only person who’s ever loved me.”

  I still and my head snaps up. “That’s not true,” I grind out heatedly. “You have me, Emily. I love you. I loved you six years ago and I still do, I never stopped.” I rest my forehead on hers and soften my tone. “Are you listening to me? You have me, always and forever, you have me. I fucking love you more than anything in my entire life and I always will, Em.”

  She stares back at me and, for the first time since Rosa’s death, I feel like she’s finally seeing me again. She says nothing but drops her hands from my hair to my face, her delicate fingers exploring. “I’m going to help you, Emily. I’m going to get you through this. Will you trust me to help you?”

  She nods, her expression still sad but it’s a start. I encircle her wrist and press a kiss to the palm of her hand before pinning it over her head and entwining our fingers. “Feel me, baby. Feel how much I love you.” I start thrusting into her tight heat with steady strokes.

  She moans and arches against me. “I do, but I need more, Ryder, I want…”

  She gasps as I flip us over and reverse our positions, my cock seated deep inside of her as she straddles me. “Take what you need you, Emily. Show me what you want, baby.”

  She licks her lips and braces her hands on my abs. As hard as it is for me, I stay still, letting her take the lead. At first her movements are slow and unsure so I grab her hip to help guide her. Soon she finds her own rhythm, and fuck me is she a sight to behold. Her tousled hair tumbles down her shoulders, framing her perfect tits. Her expression is soft and sweet; her exotic ice blue eyes are now lit more with desire than pain. Her flawless, golden skin glows from the sweat our bodies are creating. She looks like a motherfucking angel, my angel.

  Reaching up, I palm the h
eavy weight of her breasts, tugging and tweaking her pretty, pink nipples. With a moan, her hands cover my own and she increases her pace. “That’s it, baby, fuck me.” I jerk my hips up into her and feel her pussy flutter around me.

  Her head falls back on a whimper. “God, Ryder, you’re so deep like this. I feel you everywhere and it feels so good.”

  Jesus, she is going to kill me. I’m so close to the fucking edge already. I’ve fucking needed to feel her like this for days, needed to know she was going to be okay.

  I slip my hands out from under hers, and place hers where mine just were. “Touch yourself, Em, show me what you like.” She stills and bites her bottom lip. Sensing her shyness, I help her start, making her knead the soft flesh. Her hips pick up pace again, and when I feel her let go of her inhibition I remove my hands and watch while she abandons herself to her touch. “That’s it, baby, fuck that’s sexy.” I grab one of her hips now in a firm grip while I take my other hand and slide my knuckle through her wet slit. The same time I find her swollen nub, I slam up inside of her.

  “Oh god, that feels so good.” She whimpers. “Don’t stop, Ryder, please, fuck me.”

  With a growl that’s exactly what I do. Keeping my grip firm on her hip, I pound up inside of her while continuing to circle her clit. Her cries sound around us and I feel the nub get firmer with ever stroke of my finger and every hard thrust of my cock.

  “Oh god, I’m going to come.”

  “Give it to me, Em, come all over my cock.” As soon as the words leave my mouth that’s exactly what she does. I feel her pussy clamp down on me as she throws her head back in ecstasy. “Fuck, yes!” I keep my pace, fucking her through her pleasure, until her tight, wet heat triggers my own release. Fire spreads through my body moments before I still and come inside her hot depths.

  She drops down on top of me and buries her face in my neck, her body limp and sated. Once we finally catch our breath, I roll her under me and pull out of her.

  I go to get up but she wraps her arms tightly around me and turns her face in my neck. “Don’t leave me.”

  My chest constricts at the soft plea and I bury my face in her sweet-smelling hair. “Never, baby. I’m just going to get something. I’ll be right back.” I kiss the side of her head then head to the bathroom.

  I wet a cloth with hot water then ring it out before walking back to Emily. The sheet is partly draped over her now as she stares up at the ceiling. She acknowledges my presence by looking up at me, and although her eyes are still sad I can see her in them.

  Sitting next to her on the bed, I pull the sheet off her body then open her legs. She watches me as I clean her with the hot cloth, her expression soft but a little unsure. I lean down and press a kiss to her smooth stomach, and she threads her fingers in my hair, holding me to her.

  “I’m sorry I’m so sad. I’m sorry I’m hurting you,” she whispers through the dark and silent room. I look up to see her staring at the ceiling again.

  I quickly finish cleaning her then throw the rag in the hamper across the room before lying down beside her. I arrange her so she’s facing me then pull her in close. “You don’t have to be sorry for being sad, Em. I know you’re hurting, baby. Your pain hurts me, but you aren’t.”

  “I just can’t believe she’s gone and that I’m never going to see her again.” The last of her words trail off on a sob, her expression twisting with grief. I hold her closer, wishing more than anything I could take her pain away. “Other than Summer she’s the only true family I’ve ever had. How am I supposed to live without her, Ryder?”

  I swallow thickly, feeling like someone just punched me in the fucking throat. “You live for me because I need you. I know it hurts right now, but I swear, Em, I will help you through this.”

  “It kills me to know my father did this to her. How could he just kill her like that, and what the hell happened? What went wrong?”

  “I don’t know, but I fucking promise you I’m going to find out and I’ll make sure that every single fucking person who had a hand in her death pays.”

  She looks up at me. “I’ve decided to do the hypnotherapy. I’m going to call Doctor Ross tomorrow and get in as soon as possible.”

  “I’m not sure that’s a good idea, Em. You have been through a lot the last little while, I’m worried it will be too much for you, and…”

  “No more waiting, Ryder. I need to do this. For myself, for Rosa. I know you and Nick have been putting plans in place for the charity dinner, but if I can remember what happened all those years ago we might have more to go off.” I inhale a deep breath, panic threatening to choke me as I think about something happening to her over this. “Please tell me you’re with me,” she whispers.

  I lean down and kiss her head. “Yeah, baby, I’m with you. I’m always with you, whatever you decide I’ll be there.”

  She gives me a sad smile but it’s the first smile I’ve seen on her since Rosa. She reaches up and lays her hand on the side of my face. “I love you too, Ryder. I never stopped.”

  Even though I figured she did, it still feels fucking good to hear her say it, she’s the only person who’s ever said those words to me. I lean down and press a kiss to her forehead. “Me too, Em. Everything is going to be okay, I promise. We’ll get through this.” And I meant what I said. I’m going to find out what happened to Rosa, and I’m going to make every fucking person pay.

  Chapter 21

  Ryder

  A few days later we’re standing in Doctor Hughes’ therapy clinic, a therapist who Doctor Ross referred Emily to for her hypnotherapy session. The place is empty and quiet like we requested. Other than the doctor and Emily, the only other people who are here is Nick and myself. I had asked Emily if it was okay for Nick to come because I needed a second set of ears for anything regarding our case. My head is too goddamn messed up from worrying about her through all of this to focus on much else. And considering the information could be extremely critical to our investigation, I had to make sure someone had a clear head for it.

  “Hello, Miss Michaels, it’s nice to finally meet you in person.” Doctor Hughes greets Emily with a smile and a handshake.

  She smiles back but it’s forced. Even though she’s been trying to hide it I can tell she’s scared, and I’m not going to deny the fact that I am too. Probably even more than she is.

  “It’s nice to meet you too, Doctor Hughes, and please, call me Emily.”

  He nods. “All right, Emily it is.”

  Em gestures toward me. “This is my boyfriend, Ryder, who I told you about.”

  He takes my hand in a firm handshake. “Ah yes, also known as Special Agent Jameson who answered the phone the other day, and told me he will kick my ass if anything goes wrong,” he says with a smirk, not seeming all that pissed about my threat. Too bad Emily isn’t as understanding about it.

  “Yes, that would be him. Again, sorry about that.” Her face turns furiously red as she glares at me.

  He chuckles. “It’s fine, I’ve had worse said to me, believe it or not. But like I said, I promise to use all caution, and after reviewing your history I feel confident everything will be just fine.”

  Yeah, well, he isn’t fucking promising it either, and I don’t like that.

  “Yes, I’m sure it will be too,” she adds then gestures to Nick. “This is Special Agent Nick Stone. He will be the other FBI Agent listening in.”

  The doctor shakes his hand. “Well, you’re a pretty big guy too.”

  “Don’t worry, Doctor, I don’t plan on doing any bodily harm. I’m just here to listen.”

  “Good to know,” he grins then points to one of the rooms. “That is where you both will watch and listen in. The room has a two-way mirror and audio.”

  No fucking way.

  “And Emily will…”

  “I don’t think so, Doctor.” I cut him off. “I go where she goes.”

  He clears his throat cautiously. “I understand you want to be with her, Special Agent Jameson,
but it’s best that Emily is by herself in the room with me. It doesn’t…”

  “I said no!”

  Emily puts her hand on my arm. “If he says this is best then he knows better than we do.”

  “We’ll be in the room right next door, and you will be able to see and hear everything. I promise,” he adds, trying to reassure me, but it doesn’t. Not at all.

  “I’ll be okay, Ryder.”

  I look down at Emily’s soft expression, my chest constricting with panic at the thought of anything happening to her. I step closer and frame her face. “If at anytime you want to stop, or you change your mind, just say the word and we’re out of here.”

  “I will.” She turns her face and kisses the palm of my hand.

  “I love you. Everything will be fine, I promise,” I tell her, sounding a lot more confident than I feel.

  She nods and gives me a shaky smile. “I know. I love you too.”

  I reluctantly step back and let her go. The doctor shows Nick and me into our room before taking Emily to his. He gestures to the two-way mirror, showing her where we are. She smiles and blows me a kiss.

  “That was for me you know,” Stone says with a smirk, trying to lighten the mood.

  I grunt, as I watch Em lay down on the couch while the doctor takes the chair next to her. My heart starts pounding like a fucking drum. “I don’t like this. Not one fucking bit.”

  Nick claps me on the back. “She’ll be all right, man. We’ll make sure of it.” She better fucking be… “How’s she been doing since the funeral?”

  I shrug. “As good as she can be. She still fucking cries every night, but since her old man tried pulling the sympathy card, and paid for Rosa’s funeral, she’s more angry now than anything. I still feel like shit over the whole thing. She lost her life trying to help our investigation.”

  Nick nods. “I know, but it was our best chance. You told her not to get the key if it wasn’t safe to do so, and who the fuck knows what actually happened. Maybe it never even had to do with the key.”