With a half smile and a shudder, Mitch walked up to the door. He took a deep breath and opened it to Cali, who was shyly staring at him while leaning on the doorjamb.
“So, ah. Cali.” He rubbed his hand over his face a few times. “Well, I think you’re perfect and it pisses me off that I might miss my chance again for—”
Cali gave him a playful smirk. “A tattooed, coke-head rock star?” She teased him with his own words and it worked. The mood melted from tense to humor quickly.
Mitch wrapped her up in his arms and breathed out a sigh of relief. “Exactly.”
I let them hug for a minute, watching how much understanding and love were flowing between them. Mitch was holding on to Cali with all his might, and she clung back as if she were scared that this was all too good to be true.
After a few sniffles and mutters, Cali pulled away, rubbing her damp cheeks. She cocked her head to the side. With a confused look on her face, she glanced at me. “Did he say ‘miss my chance again’?”
I nodded, just as confused as Cali was.
We both shot questioning eyebrow raises in Mitch’s direction, and instinctively, his hands innocently flew up in the air. “What can I say? You’re hot and cool and I like hanging out with you. It is no news flash, Cal. I’ve had a thing for you since the night we met, but you went into the room with Walker.” Mitch’s voice caught and his eyes locked with my shocked, rage-filled glare.
“What did he just mean by that, Cali? Did you sleep with Walker?”
Her eyes locked on the ground as she twisted her fingers through her gold hair on the top of her head. She nodded yes.
My heart started beating a million miles a minute. My breath became stronger and faster. I went from loving Mitch and Cali and hoping they’d live happily ever after to wanting to gouge their eyes out for this horrible secret.
How could all of them keep this bullshit from me?! Especially Cali! I didn’t even want to add another situation to the list of things I hated Walker for, so I displaced all of my anger onto the two closest people to me. My voice came out in a bellowing rage.
“In the house now and you’re going to fucking explain this shit!”
I grabbed Cali’s hand and quickly marched up into the immaculate living room, slamming her down onto the couch as gently as I could. Then I began pacing.
Her sweet voice was almost a whisper. “Mags, I’m sorry I never told you. I was the night that we met all of the guys. We spent the night at their apartment. All five of us did.” She paused for a moment to clear her throat and take my hand. I sat down next to her, letting my anger cool. “Mags, you were in the room with Randy already. I blacked out while taking shots with Walker and Mitch in the living room. Mitch was taking the couch and there was nowhere else for me to sleep. I woke up the next morning naked. Walker and I swore to leave it as a drunken haze and neither of us brought it up again. He doesn’t remember either. For all we know, we got naked and never slept together. I really don’t think we had sex, but it is possible.”
As I thought back to that night when we met the guys for the first time, it all made sense. And Cali’s hatred for Walker’s promiscuous flirtations and pig-like behavior throughout most of college started to make more sense too.
“Did you ever have feelings for him?” I stared into Cali’s powder-blue eyes as she shook her head. I knew she was telling the truth. That was all I needed to know. “All right then. Let’s finish dinner, clean up Mitch’s little mess, and eat! We’ve all barely eaten today.”
Mitch and Cali gaped at me. Cali lunged for me from the couch and wrapped me up tight. “Thanks for not being mad. I never really thought about it. Well, until now. I’m sorry for hiding from you.” Cali was whispering in my ear.
“Cal, college was ages ago. So much has changed, and you and Mitch are still here by my side. It’s going to take a lot more than a drunken possible fuck to piss me off enough to write you off. I’m sorry for my temper. It’s something I need to work on.”
Mitch jabbed me in the arm. “Don’t go changin’. I like ya just the way you are, hot tempered and all.”
I giggled. “Did you just quote Out Cold to me?”
Mitch winked. “It actually was Billy Joel, but yeah, that too.” With a goofy grin and a swift jump, Mitch was on standing on top of the couch. “King of the mountain, mountain, mountain!”
All the tension melted into roaring laughter as Mitch jumped off the couch from his silly movie reference. “All right. Now that we all are in a better mood, let’s eat!”
Dinner was finished right as Buck walked through the door. With a grumble and shuffling of feet, he emerged into the kitchen and slammed down in his chair.
“Long day, Pop?” Mitch clapped his dad on the back after setting the steaks to rest in the middle of the table. I glanced up at the vintage, white wood clock on the wall, shocked to see that it was already passed ten at night.
With another long sigh, Buck nodded. “Yup. Working for two ain’t the way to make a living or keep my head above water. I need another set of hands down in the office.”
We all gathered around the table with glasses of wine in hand, a whiskey and water for Buck. I definitely understood those days.
“You know, Buck, I worked in the HR department for years dealing with complaints and paperwork. I know nothing about real estate, but I’d be happy to lend a hand until you find something more permanent.”
Buck smiled at me with his exhausted eyes from across the table. “Really? You’d do that?”
While slapping a heaping helping of mashed potatoes onto my plate, I shrugged. “Yeah, of course. I need a job anyway. I think I would drive myself crazy in this house alone all day!”
The sheer excitement that sprang to life on Buck’s face was unbelievable.
Quickly, he started chirping, “Well, that will just be great. You can work when you want. If you’re helping me out, I don’t want to pressure you. I really just need someone to put out fires of upset buyers and help show some houses. I’m sure you can handle that.”
I nodded, happy that I was going to be able to pay back a little of the generosity Buck had paid to Cali and me by opening his home up to us.
“I’ll start first thing on Monday. How does that sound?”
With a full mouth of skirt steak rolling around, Buck spat, “Like a dream!”
Seven
In the middle of the night, my eyes shot open while my chest heaved as I tried to catch my breath. There wasn’t a lingering dream shocking my senses awake, just a panic stabbing into my chest. I shoved off the bed, tiptoeing out of the room to not wake Cali while she lay open-mouthed, snoring softly with her hair plastered to her cheek
Gingerly making my way down into the kitchen, I noticed that the lights were still on and a glow from the family room television was illuminating the doorway. I made myself a nightcap of Maker’s Mark neat in a rocks glass from the wet bar and slowly peeked my head into the family room to find Buck staring blankly at infomercials and sipping on what smelled and looked like quite a bit of coconut rum on ice.
“I never knew you liked rum,” I said sheepishly, raising my glass to Buck when his delayed eyes finally focused on my intrusion.
“Sometimes it’s nice to smell the beach.” He grinned at me and patted the couch next to him. “Can’t sleep?” he asked after letting the thick, clear liquid cover his lips and drip into his bristly beard.
“Woke up wide awake. Figured I needed something to help me fix that.” I looked down into my drink and rubbed the edges of the glass with my fingers before taking a long sip.
“Yeah, I know the feeling.”
We sat for a few moments in silence while watching the world’s most powerful blender destroy a cell phone with ease into a black powder on TV. Buck cleared his throat a few times as if he were getting ready to speak but then changed his mind and continued his blank stare.
Finally, his low voice broke out over the buzz of the blender. “You know, Mags, in the time
I’ve known you, you’ve always seemed to have a good head on your shoulders, but don’t you think your drinking is getting a little… I don’t know how to say this.” Setting his drink onto the glass coffee table with a clank, he shuffled his weight until he was facing me.
After rubbing his hands together and getting ready to talk, I said the words he was struggling to choke out. “I need to get a handle on my drinking. Yeah, I know.”
“I really have no room to talk.” He tilted his head over to his drink before continuing. “You’re just too young and have too much life to live to wind up drowning in a bottle of sorrow and regret.”
He was right. Ever since Randy had died, alcohol was part of every facet of my life. No matter if I was happy, sad, pissed, confused, alone, in a group—I always wanted, or sometimes needed, to have a drink in my hand. If I didn’t start getting a handle on this shit now, I was going to head down a path I didn’t want to ever be on.
Before Randy had gotten deployed, we enjoyed ourselves and drank and partied. But once college came to an end, so had most of our lush-like behaviors. I was not proud of my self-medicating, but I did not really know where else to turn most of the time to numb or mask feelings and memories.
“You’re right. I will work on it.”
“All right. How about this? If you will, I will.”
Holding out my hand to him, I grinned. “Well then, Buck. I think you have yourself a deal.”
With a satisfied handshake and a smirk, we went back to watching the same overenthusiastic salesmen try to convince us that the nonstick pans he was displaying really were the last pans we would ever need to buy. I even had to rip Buck’s cell out of his hand when the salesman demonstrated cooking an egg without butter without it ever sticking to the pan. We got a few good laughs in and then called it a night, both of us pouring our nightcaps down the drain before retiring to our rooms.
*****
“Mags, how does it look now?”
I sat up in bed, still half asleep, squinting at Cali’s black eye. “Yeah, I think you got it all that time. If I didn’t know it was there, I would have never been able to guess.”
“Ugh, good! I know that everyone at work already knows what is going on with Kyle. I just don’t want the gasping and hushed conversations to be all their focus.” Cali continued to put her makeup on, leaning over the dark wood dresser to get inches from the mirror.
I let myself fall back into the fluffy mattress but was too awake to even think about sleeping again. “So how’re things going with Mitch? I noticed that you weren’t in bed when I came back up here last night.”
Even though I couldn’t see Cali blushing, it was palpable in her voice as she tried to hold back her excitement. “Well, when you got out of bed, I woke up and made my way down the hall. Mitch was still up too. I guess we all had a long night last night.”
“Well?”
I felt Cali’s weight push down on the other side of the bed as she sat cross-legged, looking down at me. “Well, what?”
“Well, how’d it go?” I propped up on one elbow to get the full view of Cali’s blue eyes twinkling and her cheeks brightening to a fiery red.
“We just talked. But I decided to call Maverick and told him I couldn’t go to Chicago.”
Sitting up and rubbing my eyes, I soaked in the awesome story that was behind all of those words. It was amazing that Mitch was finally opening up to Cali, and she really seemed to be excited about whatever they had discussed. After yawning, I finally got out, “That’s great, Cal. You better spill…”
Cali glanced down at her watch, realizing what time it was. “Oh shit, Mags! Sorry! I’m going to be late! I had no idea I spent that much time on my makeup.”
“It’s fine. Want to grab lunch today? I have to head down there to hand in my resignation letter. We can talk all about it then.”
She nodded and hugged me before jumping out of the king-sized bed. “See you around one then,” she said before making her way out the door.
I waved goodbye to her and then let myself doze back off into a light sleep. Dreams had been very few and far between for me since the last one I’d had a few nights before about Randy. I missed hearing his voice, but he had not visited my dreams, or even thoughts, again.
Instead, my morning slumber was assaulted by images of fighting with Walker once I saw him again, not being able to swallow the pain and frustration with him about everything he’d put me through. Right when I was in the middle of slapping Walker across the face for being a selfish prick, a knock on the bedroom door brought me into the guest room again and back into real time.
“Come in.” My voice was soft, but Mitch heard me and cracked the door a little.
“I made breakfast. Are you hungry?” Right when the word “hungry” rolled off his tongue, my stomach groaned awake and the pain of appetite hit hard.
“Yeah, actually I am. Be down in a second.”
His lips curled into a pleased smile as he nodded. “All right. I’ll put a pot of coffee on too.”
“Oh, Mitch, you really know how to tug at my heartstrings.”
As Mitch softly shut the door behind him, I jumped out of bed, stretching into a satisfying yawn. After putting clothes on and taming my wild bed hair, I sauntered into the kitchen. Mitch was wearing one of Eva’s pink aprons loosely around his waist. Right when I spotted the sight of him—bare-chested, the Pepto-Bismol colored apron, and his light-blue pajama pants—I doubled over from laughing hysterically. It was a sight to see the firefighter tough guy with tattoos scrolled across his chest and arms wearing anything frilly.
Instantly, plate of eggs in hand, Mitch spun around and pushed his shoulders up innocently. “What’s so funny, jerk-face?”
Through laughs and wiping the escaping tears, I gasped, “You look ridiculous! Have a good night with Cali, I take it?”
His all-too-cheery expression and the fact that he looked like a complete fool were not the only giveaways to his lifted mood. The actual air in the house felt lighter, like a weight had been alleviated after years of pressure on his mind.
All Mitch did was wink at me with a devilish grin spreading slowly along his freshly shaved face. He practically skipped over to the table, setting down both of our plates of eggs, bacon, and home fries. I grabbed two mugs full of coffee before taking my seat next to the still grinning Mitch.
“Spill! Now!”
With bacon noshing in between his teeth, he nodded. “All right. But only if you promise to not tell Cali that I said anything!”
“She’s going to tell me anyway, silly. We’re having lunch together.”
I could see the blush already burning the back of his neck as he cleared his throat to begin. “All right, all right.” His reluctant pout turned quickly into a sheepish smile as the words dripped from his lips.
“After dinner and shit, Cali and you went off to bed. Well, I couldn’t fucking sleep, so, like a freaking high schooler, I texted her asking if she’d come keep me company. She did within seconds and we talked for most of the night.”
He shoveled some eggs into his mouth, looking quite content with the explanation he had given me. Apparently men just didn’t get what it meant when a chick says, “Spill.”
“Yeah… And…” I motioned with my hand for him to keep going as I raised my eyebrows at him.
“And what?”
“And what happened? What did you two talk about? Was it good, bad, sad? Come on! I need more than ‘I was a chicken-shit and texted her but it worked and we talked.’”
Mitch rolled his eyes at me while I waved my hands and through quotes around certain words with my fingers. “Well, if there’s more, Cali is gonna have to tell you about it.” He winked, got up, and changed for the gym. By his ever-present grin and cheery whistling, I knew there was something he was not giving up, but Mitch really cared about Cali and was not about to kiss and tell, apparently.
After Mitch left to get a “good pump going” at the gym, I typed out my resignation
letter, drafting it seven times before being completely happy with it. Also, I changed over and over, trying to find the perfect balance between classy, confident, and casual. Ugh! The one time I need Cali’s bossy fashion sense!
I finally settled on a white blazer, a hot pink blouse, and an above-the-knee navy pencil skirt with nude pumps. It felt like it had been ages since I’d felt this beautiful in clothes, my reflection practically startling me. After touching up my eyeliner, I was out the door, my heart beating out of my chest, ready to get a jumpstart on this next chapter of my life.
Resigning from Florida Hospital South was bitter sweet for me, but I knew I’d made the best decision for everyone. I was not the asset to the Human Resources team my coworkers deserved, and I was not emotionally or professionally growing from my position. Walking in through the electric doors into the office I had frequented for so many years all of a sudden felt unnatural.
My palms were sweating, my knees were a little shaky, and I was downright nervous. I quietly slid into Eleanor’s office, just like I’d planned, about two minutes after Eleanor’s lunch break had started. It was not my proudest moment, acting like a complete chicken-shit, but I did not want to face the woman who had been so supportive through everything. Even though she had acted almost like a bully during our last conversation, I could not hold it against her. Eleanor needed to look after the rest of her staff. I was the weak link and needed to go. It was better to not make a scene or drag out the inevitable. The Human Recourses department was a chapter of my life I was closing.
I pressed the call button to bring me back down to the main lobby, praying that I would be able to get out of the office without having to run into anyone I knew. But of course, the bright, bubbly grin of Michelle Colquitt was beaming right at me as the bell chimed and the stainless-steel doors pulled open.
“Mags! Hi! I thought you were going to be out sick for the rest of the week.”
Falling Back Together Page 6