by Anita Cox
He nodded. “I’ll get it together and meet you up there so you can get cleaned up.”
She turned to Tracy. “Have Jake call a pack meeting for five this afternoon.” After a deep breath, she continued. “I will be fine. I am fine. Don’t worry.” She left the kitchen and trudged up the stairs to her room. After peeling her shirt off, she tossed it in the trash and grabbed a T-shirt. As gross as she felt, hunger overcame her desire to bathe.
Colin appeared with a tray of food and put it on the small table in the room.
They both ate quietly. Events from the night before flashed in her mind. The three wolves had been determined to get to Wendy. Now that she had offered sanctuary to the Gnomes, the Separatists might consider attacking them as well. It added an additional layer of concern for her. She now had to consider the safety of her extended pack, the Gnomes, and her position as Alpha. It wasn’t a question of if she’d be challenged, it was only when and by whom.
When she was finished, she stood from the table. “Thank you for bringing all of this up here.”
Her mind still wrought with concern, she turned and headed into the bathroom. She hadn’t noticed Colin on her heel. She gave a jump when she saw him standing behind her.
“Intimacy before sex.” His voice was low, considerate. Slowly, he reached toward the hem of her shirt and pulled it up over her head.
She looked up at him, his eyes focused on hers. Her hands shook as she lifted them, unbuttoning the first button on his shirt. Intimacy before sex. What does that mean, exactly? When she reached the last button, she pulled his shirt open. His form was something to be admired, toned and tanned, his chest strong; his stomach, hard and defined.
He helped her step out of her dress slacks and then tossed the ruined pants into the trash before turning back toward her. “You are a fierce warrior, able to handle yourself. But you are safe with me—always safe…with…me.”
A dull ache started in her chest and radiated through her body. Suddenly her weight was too much to bear. She leaned in to him, her forearms on his chest, and her forehead at his collarbone. Thick armor shredded as relief washed over her in the form of large sobs. Safe. She hadn’t felt entirely safe for years.
His arms wrapped around her, holding her tight. He never interrupted, never wavered—only stood firm and let her experience the relief she needed.
When she finished, he gently turned her back to him and unclasped her bra, then slid her panties to the floor. She heard his buckle hit the floor, and assumed they were now both completely naked. She stepped into the shower and closed her eyes as warm water poured over her head, rinsing the blood and dirt away. When she leaned out of the water, strong hands began massaging shampoo on her head. She closed her eyes and allowed herself to enjoy the moment.
Intimacy before sex.
A gentle push placed her head back under the water, rinsing away the suds. When she opened her eyes and turned to her mate, he had a gentle smile on his face as he filled his palm with conditioner. With his other hand, he twirled his finger, directing her to turn back around.
Their first time naked together and there were no nerves. She didn’t feel bashful, not this way. He combed his fingers through her wet locks, ensuring the conditioner made it to the ends before rinsing off his hands.
He wasn’t pawing at her or showing any sign of being disrespectful and it had set her at ease. Reaching up, she grabbed his loofa off the hook and squirted a little body wash on it. Keeping her gaze on his chest, she began spreading the suds over it, up his shoulders and down his torso, spotting his erection when she finally allowed herself to look. Though his body was aroused, he took his time, he was showing her intimacy. His words were making sense.
She walked around him, continuing to soap him up, using the loofa in one hand and spreading the suds around with her free hand. Admiring his strong backside, she continued to explore him, kneeling to soap his strong, lean legs.
When she stood again, he turned to face her. His thumb and index finger eased around her chin, he brushed his lips against hers with a light kiss. With soapy hands, he massaged her neck and shoulders, gliding his hands down her arms. She closed her eyes, reveling in the attention. When he pulled her against him, her heart gave a start. Their naked bodies were now pressed against one another, wet, naked…completely vulnerable.
He gave her that. He’d allowed her to sob into his chest, to show vulnerability without fear of losing her place…her respect.
Returning his embrace, she kissed his shoulder and rested her head on his chest as the hot water poured against her back. The squeak of the faucet echoed in the shower stall as he turned the water off. Releasing her, he stepped out of the shower and held his hand out for her. As if she needed steadying. She accepted his hand anyway. A chivalrous gesture shouldn’t go ignored. Once they were both out of the shower, he slid the towel off the rack and began squeezing the water from her hair before toweling her off.
The odd feeling of someone else towel drying her made her feel awkward for the first time. She went to pull the towel up herself.
“Uh-uh. I’m taking care of you and you’re going to let me.” When he looked at her, she saw his golden eyes illuminate. He was emotional. When she was dry, he wrapped the towel around her before drying himself. With a quick movement, he grabbed her brush from the counter and led her to the bedroom.
Her heart rate increased and her legs began to feel shaky. When she sat on the bed, he claimed the area behind her and began brushing through her hair. She closed her eyes. Each gentle stroke with the brush lulled her, like the sway of a crib to a baby. He took his time, gliding the brush through her dark hair. Then she felt him braiding it. He’s braiding my hair?
“You know how to braid?” She snickered as she spoke.
He chuckled. “My mother had the most beautiful hair. I used to watch Wendy practice on her. I sort of picked it up. It’s not really all that difficult.”
She could hear the snap of the rubber band as he secured it to the end. He finished by kissing the top of her shoulder. Her stomach clenched.
He pulled her back against his chest and whispered in her ear. “If you want to stop, you must tell me.”
She turned her head to the side and craned her neck so she could look at him. She bit her lip and shook her head. “No, I don’t want to stop.”
Leaning forward, he planted his sweet lips on hers. Her heart began beating so loud and so hard she heard it in her ears. She was ready. She wanted him…to be with him…to give herself to her husband. Their breaths increased as the kiss grew in passion.
A foreign sensation, something she hadn’t felt in years exploded low in her belly. She was aroused. It had been so long, she barely recognized her very real need. Reaching her hand up, she wound her fingers into the back of his hair, pulling his kiss inward toward her. Her chest heaved as her heart raced.
His hands ran down her thighs and back up again then he slowed when he reached her stomach, taking his time, slowly making his way to her breasts, which felt full…heavy.
She gasped when he tweaked her nipple. Every cell, every nerve ending was on edge. She turned her body to face him and when she did so, he eased back on the bed. She climbed up until their lips met once more. She could feel his need hardening between them and for once she felt anticipation to have it inside her. She wanted him…needed to be with him.
Fear took a back seat as pure desire took hold. Easing herself on him, her eyes instantly closed as she felt every inch of him slowly gliding in, her body stretching to accommodate him. She paused as her entrance met the base of his cock.
His warm hands caressed her arms, lazily rolled up her shoulders then tickled as his fingertips ran down her spine. With a shiver, she began to move easing up and down on him, relishing every exquisite inch of her mate. Control was hers until she was ready to relinquish it. He kept her pace, with gentle thrusts from below, continually massaging her from back to thigh as they made love.
Legs and arms qu
ivered as a maelstrom overwhelmed her. Feelings for him ran deeper than she realized. She’d longed for this connection to him. Foolish was her desire to remain unbonded. It was his choice and not hers to take away. For far too long, her choices had been stolen and that wasn’t something she wanted to do to her mate. A mate that was letting her take this giant leap at her own pace, showing nothing but tenderness and respect.
It was time to let go. She rolled off of him, pulling him with her. With Colin hovering over her, he showered her with kisses along her neck, nuzzling in before he resumed their lover’s dance. She gasped with each thrust as he filled her to her core. Her breasts perked up to a point she felt they would burst as she met his thrusts, bucking her hips.
She licked his neck, tracing his throat with her tongue. A loan groan rumbled in his chest. A faint glow illuminated his neck above her. Her eyes were glowing, her wolf wanted out. Running her tongue along her teeth, she discovered her canines had elongated. This was it. It was time…time to let go and make the connection she so desperately wanted. He looked into her eyes, his glowing back at her.
Tears stung as her heart fluttered in her chest.
“Bond. Please, allow the bond!” her wolf pleaded. “Our mate loves us.”
He brushed his lips against hers and licked her lower lip. “Only if you’re ready,” he whispered.
Words evaded. She’d never be absolutely ready, but sometimes…sometimes you just have to take control. It was time to let go of her fear. She answered him by piercing his neck with her canines and felt the tiny pinch of his return bite.
In that moment, time came to a halt as a barrage of emotions overwhelmed her once more. Heartache, despair, loathing all crept in. No! No, he hates me! She began to push him off, but he held firm. Warmth, unlike any she’d yet to experience flooded her heart, then adoration, love, commitment, respect all flooded in like steel cables, holding her in place.
“I hated myself, but only for a brief second, my love.” Colin’s voice, his emotions poured out of him and consumed her. “I am yours forever more. I am in love, truly, deeply, and completely. It was me, finally letting go that came in first. Please forgive my last stage of mourning.”
No more wondering what he was thinking or feeling, the connection was complete. To her surprise that wasn’t all, she could sense…feel exactly what she felt like to him. How his cock felt against her inner walls. To him, she was warm, wet, and tight. Sensing her from his point of view overwhelmed her with a new kind of arousal.
He eased in and out of her. “Wow, I’ll never get used to that.”
Sensing lovemaking from both sides was a new experience…it had her on edge, pressure building. With both her hands on his hips, she pulled him in and bucked against him. She could feel his excitement, his pleasure coupled with her own.
The coupling caused them both to pick up the pace as he thrust into her, she cried out for more, as if he had more to give. He scooped his arms between her and the bed, holding her still as he planted his mouth on hers and pushed harder and harder. She moaned into his mouth, as her intensity built, she could feel his mounting until they couldn’t last…until they couldn’t stop. He pushed into her as they both cried out their orgasm.
He rolled off of her, but did not let her go. He pulled her into him, placing her head on his chest, her leg draped over his.
That was beautiful. She smiled as joy and relief took her. The sting of tears assaulted her eyes, the beauty of Colin’s mind and soul invading her to her core.
“Yes, it was.”
“Okay, you’re voice in my head will take a little getting used to. But really, it feels so relaxing to know how you’re feeling. To know that this isn’t one sided.” She stroked her fingers along his chest.
With a deep breath, he exhaled. “We can both relax.” He kissed her forehead. “We’re together forever, Nala. I felt you, your loneliness. You never, ever, have to feel that again. Do you understand? As long as I am breathing, you’ll never be alone.”
Chapter Five
Watching someone sleep while they’re at their most relaxed and vulnerable, might seem creepy to an onlooker. But Nala studied Colin. As his deep heartache for his prior spouse eased, his heart made room for her. She didn’t have to ask. She didn’t have to guess, because now, she could feel it. He was elated to be her mate.
The biggest surprise for her was his fear of rejection. Though he tried to hide it, his mind spoke to hers; relieved she’d accepted him—wanted him for a mate.
Her cheeks pulled at her lips, pulling her usually taught lips into an easy smile. This might not be how she thought her marriage would go—her bond. She’d always thought it to be more rabid, during a heat, with dire need causing her to rip her mate’s clothing to shreds as she took him continually until her need was at ease. This…was better. The bonding had been sweet. Their first time making love had been…romantic. Romance wasn’t something in which she was well acquainted.
His elation had one strong, albeit negative side effect. More, now than ever, she had to work harder to be certain she would survive a challenge—many if necessary.
Burden.
She’d have to learn to turn of the heavy burden so her mate wouldn’t know exactly how she felt most days. Sure, he’d understand. He’d been an Alpha with a family. But what would the rules be if she were with child? Would the challenge still be held if she were bursting with a pup inside her? How could she waddle around pregnant and fight to the death?
The gravity of her situation only weighed her down and burst the her post-coital bubble. Rolling away from her mate, she buried her face in her pillow, holding in a scream of frustration. Just like the rest of her life, she’d have to take it one day at a time, one foot in front of the other.
They had a meeting in just over an hour. A meeting regarding security, and security was of utmost importance. She left her husband to nap while she took another quick shower. Standing in her closet, she pulled the towel off her wet hair and hung it on the door before shimmying on panties. As she pulled on her jeans, she was startled by a gentle knock on the closet door.
“Are you okay? All I can feel from you is stress.” Colin stood in the doorway, wearing only his boxers. His hair was a mess atop his head.
She shifted her weight to the balls of her feet as she stood topless in front of him. She looked at him for a second more than was comfortable before she pulled a bra around her arms. “I’m fine. We have this meeting about the Separatists and I don’t want to walk down there a mess. The bite on my neck will tell the pack all they need to know.” She hoped he’d accept her answer at face value.
After pulling a tank over her head, she saw her loving husband with his arms crossed over his chest. Okay, the bond. No more white lies. “A thought occurred to me and it upset me. Okay?” Just thinking about it felt like someone had punched her square in the stomach. “What happens if I’m challenged while pregnant? I mean, we haven’t talked about…but still.”
“That’s simple. You don’t fight. You name a proxy. It’s what packs do to protect an elder, and a pregnant Lycan female is no different.”
Of course it’s so simple for you! How could she nominate someone else to die in her place?
“No. It’s not. That would be my pup in there,” he said pointing at her stomach. “An innocent. No one would stand for it, least of all me.”
She reached in a drawer pulling out a fresh pair of socks and then pushed past him. “That’s what I’m afraid of.”
“Wait!” He grabbed her arm, spinning her around to face him. When she came to a stop, he slid his palms over her cheeks. “FOSE has just been established. We’ll all have new laws to follow. There’s no way on the planet Grace hasn’t thought of this. If women are to rule, then pregnancy will be a factor in a challenge. Either the challenge will wait, or the Beta will fight. I know it seems more complicated but we have to cross that bridge when we come to it.” He slid his arms around her.
She allowed herself to lea
n into him, allowed his warmth to envelop her.
“I told you. You’ll never be alone again. You need to start believing me.” He kissed the top of his head. “Now I’m going to take a shower. You…take five seconds and breathe.” He left her standing there as he headed to the bathroom.
Breathe. Okay. She took a few cleansing breaths, then slid on her socks and shoes. Colin’s words had eased her nerves somewhat, but an Alpha is supposed to care for her pack and it was a duty she took to heart. She wanted it…fought for it. She was a leader. Leaders don’t lose their shit.
He stepped out of the bathroom with nothing on…not even a towel. When he crossed in front of her, he turned, shaking his butt in her face.
She burst into laughter and smacked his ass cheek. “Get dressed!”
“You’re much prettier when you smile.” He winked over his shoulder as he rubbed the red handprint on his butt.
Her heart skipped a beat every time her mate flirted with her. Secretly, she hoped it never went away. She focused on him as he stood in his closet, dressing. He was lighter. His smile seemed semi-permanent. She could feel a mixture of joy and frustration coming from him.
Still happy we mated? She pushed her thoughts to him.
“Absolutely. You?”
Indeed.
“I’m ready.” Always dressed for a business meeting, he stood in dark blue pants, a white button down and dark shoes that matched his belt. He really did make her feel like a bum most days.
“Oh dear?” She said wagging her finger up and down at him. “I’d really love to see you in a pair of jeans occasionally.”
Nearly all of his stunning white teeth showed when he smiled at her. “Yes ma’am!”
They made their way to the fire pit, where most pack meetings took place. She noticed numerous smiles from her original pack mates as they noticed her bonding mark. Nods of approval greeted them before the meeting began.
“It’s with a heavy heart that I tell you all about a new enemy. An enemy of our own kind. It appears that not everyone is entirely thrilled that we’re blending species. There have been two attacks on the school, one of which happened last night. The group call themselves Separatists, as they wish us all to remain separate. Let me just preface this by saying that I won’t tolerate such racism. The Gnomes, who started out as our welcomed guests are now officially pack mates and have proven to be an invaluable resources. As Alpha of this pack I order you all to defend them as you would any Lycan brother or sister. I’m also quite pleased to tell you that they’re far from feeble. I witnessed, first hand, the skillful warrior a Gnome can be when put to the test. The warrior I witnessed was both loyal and fierce.” She turned to the group of Gnomes who sat together in the front of the crowd. “I’m quite proud to say that your friend, Mary, fought with precision and tenacity that would rival any Lycan I’ve ever seen. She defended my sister-in-law alongside me.”