Rezac shook his head. “She only saw those two. As to the abductions of the rest of us, that was done on Chy’qui’s orders. Jo and I were obviously taken because we were injured and needed treatment. Kate and Taynar because they provided a healthy specimen of each of our species so Doctor Zayshul could study them before operating on Carrie.”
“And Jeran and Giyesh because they were the only U’Churian and Sholan pair.”
Rezac nodded. “And you know why you were taken. Our drugs couldn’t control the pain you were suffering because they weren’t strong enough. The Primes needed to give you more powerful analgesics, and Chy’qui wanted to find out how you were able to sense Carrie’s pain despite the fact you were obviously not her Leska. You’d drawn so much attention to yourself and Carrie, he was able to keep his experiments with Kusac secret. Even so, if it hadn’t been for Prince Zsurtul haunting Doctor Zayshul’s medical labs with the natural curiosity of youth, Chy’qui would likely have succeeded in keeping you and Carrie apart.”
“Youth has its advantages, as you know,” Kaid said dryly, raising a sardonic eye ridge at his father.
Rezac’s mind spun briefly as he remembered that the male sitting opposite him, though some thirty years his senior, was in fact his son, both of them exiles in this time, fifteen hundred years in their future.
Kaid broke the silence. “Does Doctor Zayshul have any new theories as to what caused Kusac’s convulsions?”
“No, but she says the TeLaxaudin Kzizysus is convinced it was his system rejecting the implant. If it had been left in, he’d have suffered more frequent and violent seizures until either he died, or Chy’qui put an end to him. Implant rejection isn’t common, but it does happen, and there’s no cure. M’ezozakk, Captain of the M’ijikk, died that way. Kusac is the first person to have survived the removal of a control unit. That’s why Zayshul wanted to examine him today.”
“Better a swift end than a lingering one,” Kaid murmured, realizing that they’d cheated death more than once with the Primes. “He’s out of danger now, that’s what matters. If it hadn’t been for our Triad, all three of us would be dead. At least now we understand why events happened the way they did.”
“Kaid, nothing was said to Kusac about neural damage. I know what those collars do. How could they miss it when they knew he was tortured to the extent he was?”
“They know, but I’m having it kept from both Carrie and Kusac for the time being, at least until we know the extent of it,” he said.
“I suppose they don’t need the extra worry right now. What about the treaty? How’re the negotiations going?”
Kaid sighed, resting his elbows on the table. “We’re in the last stages now. We’ve taken a break so copies of the final agreement on the trade and training issues could be sent to our home worlds. I’m told the TeLaxaudins have been in touch with President Nesul, asking for a duplicate of the Primes’ treaty for themselves, with the exception of the clauses concerning the young Prime warriors.”
“So we’re actually going to train some of their precious young warrior caste?”
“Only a token number— twenty to be exact, and only up to Forces skill level, not beyond. They’ll come to Shola with the Prime Ambassador in about a month’s time.”
“Hardly a token number, that’s half of them! Are they really that trusting of us?”
“Yes, as far as I and any of the other telepaths can tell, but we’re only able to get their surface thoughts, nothing more, without drawing attention to ourselves. They do have more warriors, but they’re a full five years younger than this group. Apparently they waited five years to see how the original forty turned out before breeding any more half M’zullian males. They wanted to be sure they’d eradicated the worst of their phobias from their racial memory of the Fall.”
“And how did they check they won’t go as psychotic as the M’zullians the moment they smell us?” Rezac asked.
“They use chemical scent stimulants and holographic images of us created from their data files to finish their conditioning, but it takes time and doesn’t work for all of them. That’s why they wanted Kezule. He’s pre-Fall, with none of those psychoses.” His wrist comm buzzed gently and he pushed himself up from the table. “I have to get back now. L’Seuli sends that they’re ready to reconvene. It’ll be late when I finish. If you can find a way to discreetly tell Carrie I’ll sleep in the dorm tonight, I’d appreciate it. She and Kusac need some time alone.”
“Is that wise?” asked Rezac, getting up. “After hearing what J’koshuk put him through, I’d say he’s walking too narrow a trail right now to be left alone with her.”
“I walked that trail myself not long ago, Rezac. I’ve no reason to keep them apart. The sooner he’s normalized, the quicker his recovery will be. The bio-monitor on his wrist will trigger either mine or T’Chebbi’s alarms if there are any abnormal changes in his telemetry and we’ll be there instantly.”
Rezac grunted softly. “I’ve had personal experience of J’koshuk’s interrogation methods, though obviously not for as long as Kusac. I think it’s too soon to leave them alone, especially when he could take the view that you’ve betrayed him with Carrie.”
Kaid’s ears folded briefly sideways before righting themselves. “He won’t. We don’t acknowledge jealousy the way your culture did. He knows why our Link happened. I do intend to leave someone on duty outside his room overnight. I hate playing into Rhyaz’ claws like this, but if I don’t keep Kusac guarded, Rhyaz will get Vriuzu or Jiosha to try probing him again, and I won’t risk him having another seizure.”
“I don’t think Vriuzu would be that stupid after the pain he experienced. Or Jiosha,” Rezac said, accompanying him to the door.
Stronghold, Zhal-S’Asha, 19th day (October)
The wind howled round the towers of Stronghold, gusting through the courtyard to whip his hair about his face as he crossed to the aircar. Fighting to hold his Brotherhood uniform jacket closed, he attempted to buckle the belt one-handed. Already dawn brightened the eastern sky, illuminating the roiling clouds overhead. He was committed to leaving now, there was no turning back. Today would be stormy in more ways than one.
Takeoff needed his full attention, but once he was high above Stronghold and heading for the spaceport, the air currents grew calmer and he switched on the autopilot. His thoughts soon began to wander back to Haven.
Haven, Zhal-Zhalwae, 22nd/23rd day (May)
He hadn’t been aware of falling asleep, let alone being undressed and put to bed, but when he woke, the room was quiet and the light had been dimmed. A quick glance around had shown him he and Carrie were alone. He lay there for some time, just listening to her soft breathing, and that of the jegget curled near the foot of the bed. Since they’d brought him to this room, either T’Chebbi or Rezac had been with them, trying every now and then, like Carrie, to draw him into some conversation, but there was nothing he wanted to say. All he’d wanted was to be left alone with Carrie.
Among the belongings she’d given him back from the Profit were his wrist comm with the psi-damper he didn’t need anymore. To please her, he’d put it on next to the bio-monitor the physician had given him. He supposed it would provide him with some mental protection, meant he didn’t have to rely on his natural shielding alone. His torc, like Carrie’s, was lost, taken from them by the Primes. Its loss seemed symbolic.
Turning round carefully, he raised himself on one elbow so he could watch her. Her face was relaxed in sleep, the taut lines that had creased her forehead all day were gone now. Realization that he was no longer a captive hit him. He was free, free to do what he chose.
Reaching out, he picked up a lock of her blonde hair, rubbing it gently between his fingers. It was as soft as he remembered. Letting it fall back to the pillow, hesitantly he touched her face, running a gentle fingertip across her cheek. Her skin felt like one of the fruits from her world, soft, and covered with a very faint down. He could smell her scent now, and it brought back mem
ories, painful ones, of pairings the like of which they’d never share again.
He slipped his hand round the back of her neck, tears momentarily blurring his sight. As he blinked them away, her eyes flicked open— Sholan eyes, the pupils narrowing to vertical slits as the light from the lamp fell on them. Suddenly, he wanted her very badly.
Closing the gap that separated them, he leaned across her, lowering his face to hers, catching hold of her bottom lip with his teeth. He looped his free hand under her back, pressing her close against his belly and groin as he began to nip at her face.
Her hands pushed against his chest, trying to ease him away. He ignored her, clenching his hand in her hair, pulling her head back to arch her throat toward him. His breathing was uneven now as the muscles in his lower belly and groin began to contract. With a grunt of discomfort, he loosened his hold on her body, moving back slightly to allow his genitals room to descend. Releasing her mouth, he began to nip and lick his way down her arched throat.
“Kusac!”
In the unaccustomed heady rush of sexual arousal and freedom, he barely heard her. It had been so long since they’d paired! When he’d first woken to J’koshuk and the world of the Kz’adul, he’d been sure that they’d all die. Then the priest had dragged him to the stasis area, shown him her and Kaid pairing. He’d known then that somehow they’d become Leskas and she no longer needed him to survive. But he needed her so badly.
His mouth touched the neckline of her uniform. It was a barrier, preventing him from going further. As he stopped, reaching for the fastening, her hands batted against his chest.
“Kusac! You’re hurting me!”
Again he ignored her, his need to have her outweighing any other consideration. The seal parted instantly, exposing her naked flesh and surrounding him with her warm scent. His purr of pleasure was nearer a growl.
She twisted away from him, and surprised, he used his body weight to pin her down. He lapped at her skin, tasting her before closing his teeth on the nearest breast.
A sharp tug on his left ear made him flick it in irritation, but it wasn’t till her hand closed, far too tightly, on a sensitive part of his anatomy, that she got his undivided attention.
With a yelp of pain, his hand covered hers, trying to ease her fingers apart. “Not so tight!” His voice was strained, tears springing to his eyes as he tried to roll clumsily off her.
“You’re hurting me,” she repeated. “What’s wrong with you, Kusac? You were never this rough before.”
“Let me go,” he said, his claws extending just enough to prick her fingers warningly. “There’s no need for you to grab me like this.”
“Take your claws out of me first. You were ignoring me, it was the only way I could get your attention.”
With a rumble of annoyance, he retracted his claws and she released him. “You were never so reluctant before,” he muttered, clutching his abused anatomy.
“I’m not reluctant, Kusac,” she said. “You were too rough. You know how much stronger than me you are.”
He rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling, the mood utterly gone. “I wasn’t being rough, I just got carried away, that’s all. It’s been so long…I thought you’d be as willing…Forget it.” He felt her hand touch his chest but ignored it. How could they continue in any kind of relationship when she squealed the first time he laid hands on her? He’d been no more rough than usual. She’d never complained before.
But before, they’d had their Link. He’d known from moment to moment exactly how his touch felt to her, whether he was being too rough. All that was gone now. Dread filled him as he wondered if he was afraid to pick up where they’d left off, afraid he was no longer able to be the lover he’d been before their Leska Link was gone. If he left it like this, he’d never know.
“I am willing,” she said softly.
He turned back to her: she was his life-mate, the mother of their cub, the person who mattered most to him, the one he’d tried to protect from J’koshuk. His mind a confused jumble of fear and desire, he let her take the lead, almost afraid to touch her lest he miscalculate his strength again.
The way she ran her hands across his body, her fingers pushing through his pelt to find the skin beneath, brought back so many memories, as did the feel of her blunt teeth nipping their way so gently across his neck and chest.
More confident now, he encouraged her, trying not to think of what was lacking or to remember his last insane night on the Kz’adul with the Valtegan doctor. He wanted to forget it completely, as if it had never happened: he needed desperately to pair with her to wash away that memory. As they joined, he felt the brief touch of her mind against his before she remembered.
Fiery pain swept through him then was gone. Like the night with the doctor, in its wake, every sensation was heightened, but this time, because he hadn’t triggered it, it was much shorter lived. Enough to bring him to the verge of climax, it left him poised there in limbo. What little self-control he’d been able to exert, vanished. Frustrated and impatient, his hands clenched round her hips as he tensed, readying himself for the initial pain he’d feel when he tried to reach mentally for her.
Then the jegget was there, her tiny clawed feet climbing across his shoulders and back, her insistent wet nose snuffling at his ear as she tried in her own way to join in. The shock of it was enough to tip him over the edge without the need for the pain.
*
He’d feigned sleep, waiting till Carrie slept before slipping from the bed and pulling on his robe. Silently he padded to the door and opened it. T’Chebbi sat outside, unsurprised to see him, or with his request. She remained silent as she escorted him up to the observation room. Huge and sullen, the nearby gas giant filled the viewport, bathing the room with its baleful, orange glow.
For several minutes, he stood there, looking out at it without seeing it. “How do you stand it?” he asked suddenly, looking round at her. “To feel nothing with your mind when you pair?”
“Telepaths are few. How should we know what you feel? What we have is good enough,” she replied.
He made a sound of exasperation and turned away. “It’s pointless when your mind isn’t involved,” he said at last. “It becomes nothing more than a physical release.”
“What’s wrong with that?” she asked, moving closer to him. “Many things are done only for pleasure and exercise, why not pairing?”
“If you believe that, why were you celibate until recently?” he countered. “You told me you were trained as a Consortia. Why’d you change your mind?”
“We weren’t high-class qwenes,” she said quietly. “Pleasing clients sexually was our choice, not theirs, you know that. Was trained to be a hostess, not work for a living, until the Fleet pack took me. You have your life, and your Triad, be grateful for that, Kusac, instead of angry at what you can’t change.”
“Without our Link, it’s pointless, a— travesty— of what we had! I’ve a right to be angry!”
“Anger like this destroys you. You aren’t the only one to lose something you value. Others deal with it, so must you. When we paired, you never had a problem.”
“You don’t understand. When you and I were together, I could sense something from you, but I could feel them— Carrie and Kaid. Now there’s nothing at all! I’m trapped alone in my own head, unable to reach beyond myself, unable to sense anything from her!”
“It may come back in time, that’s what they say, isn’t it? Only been one day, Kusac. Give it time.”
“You don’t understand,” he repeated, hands clenching on the viewport sill. “You’re mind-dead to start with! Captivity and the torture, they pass. How could you possibly know the joy of sharing every feeling, every sensation with the one you love, to the point where you actually become one being? Chy’qui and J’koshuk, they took what I am, took my very soul away from me! So don’t give me any of your platitudes, I don’t want them!”
“I heard enough,” she growled, turning away from him. �
�You think you the only one ever to suffer, to lose something! When you’re done with self-pity, I be outside!”
“Look, I know you had it rough when the Fleet took you,” he began.
“You know nothing!” she spat, backing away in a crouch, tail swaying jerkily. “I lost everything but my life that night! Fleet killed my adoptive father and took me as their prize to frighten other merchants into paying protection money! I was used as pack qwene by them, then the Claws— until Kaid came back for me!” Angrily, she turned her back on him, stalking toward the door where she stopped briefly.
“Wasn’t till we nearly lost Kaid to Fyak and Ghezu that I knew I had to tell him what I’d felt for him for all those years. Think on this, Kusac Aldatan. Had you not lost your Talent— temporarily or otherwise— you and Carrie would both be dead, maybe Kaid as well. Is small price to pay for three lives.” She turned to look at him as she opened the air lock, eyes glittering with a hardness he’d never seen before. “I’d pay it. Don’t call me till you want to go back to your room.”
*
When Carrie woke in the morning, she found herself alone. Lifting her head to look around, she saw Kusac asleep in the other bed. She was about to get up and check on him when she felt Kaid’s presence in her mind.
Leave him sleeping, Carrie. Banner’s on duty, he’ll sit with him while we talk. Join me in the mess. Don’t worry about the jegget, she’s back with Brynne.
Curious, she sat up and reached for her clothes, wincing as the scratches on her hips hurt. A sense of disquiet filled her, made worse when she noticed the bruise on her wrist where Kusac had grabbed hold of her the night before. She’d had the odd scratch or bruise in the past from him, but nothing like these. She’d need some of the Fastheal salve they kept on their shuttle in the Hkariyash, otherwise Kaid would see them.
What’s up? came Kaid’s thought.
Nothing. I’m on my way, she replied, tucking her worries safely to the back of her mind where he couldn’t access them.
The smell of food made her realize how hungry she was. The queue was short, and as she could see Kaid sitting nearby with Captain Tirak and several of his crew, she grabbed a tray and joined the line. Minutes later, he joined her, ordering a drink, then steering her toward an empty table when she was handed her plate of food.
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