“You should speak to Noni about it. There’s a simple remedy for it, as I remember.”
“Mother and Vanna have both suggested things she could take, but she refuses. Doesn’t want to risk our cub.” His mouth opened in a gentle smile. “I can’t fault her for that. How’s Carrie coping?”
He hesitated. “Fine,” he said, aware that he really had no idea. He turned to look round the room. “Where’re Kusac and T’Chebbi?” he asked, keeping his voice low.
“We passed them heading for the gym,” said Dzaka. “I get the feeling he isn’t handling the forthcoming wedding well.”
“He keeps to himself, Dzaka. I know he’d wanted a full temple wedding for himself and Carrie. The reality was a little different.” He remembered it well, the terse summons from Kusac in the middle of the night, trying to land an aircar at the Valsgarth temple by flickering torchlight, and the simple ceremony Ghyan had carried out. “He’d just found out she was pregnant for the first time, and that they were both gene-altered. Then we came here, to tell his parents.” He grasped his son’s shoulder briefly. “I do know that he doesn’t begrudge you your wedding. He loves Kitra very dearly.”
“I just hope it isn’t distressing him. I was worried when Kitra insisted on choosing him and Carrie as our witnesses. Was there any good news from Noni?”
Kaid shook his head. “Enough of that. We’re going to Stronghold tomorrow to make ready for your wedding! Tell me, where are you taking her?”
Dzaka laughed, moving off to join his bride-to-be. “No, I’m not even telling you! She’ll enjoy herself, so long as the nausea isn’t too bad.”
“Neggu,” said Kaid, suddenly remembering the name of the remedy. “That’s the name of it. Give her ground neggu in warm milk at first meal and again before bed. They make crystallized sweets of it she can take during the day.” He went over to Carrie. “I’ll get some for you tomorrow from the village store before we leave,” he said to her, sitting down in the chair next to her. “I don’t want the next few days spoiled for you either.”
“Mmm?” she asked lazily, reaching for her mug.
“Anti-nauseant,” he said, taking a sip of his c’shar. “For morning or evening sickness. I remember it from my time with Noni. She used to take me out collecting it. Even had me crystallizing pieces of the root for her patients!”
“I told you, I’m not taking drugs,” began Kitra.
“It isn’t a drug, kitling,” said Zashou. “It’s a spice. The ground root is used in cooking. We used it in our time. It really is perfectly safe, so safe that you can eat them as sweets as Kaid says. Try them. No point in feeling miserable for your wedding.”
“If Carrie uses it, will you give it a try?” asked Dzaka, moving Kitra’s feet so he could sit down.
“It’s not that bad,” she said. “Honestly.”
Dzaka rubbed his fingers gently across the pads of her toes. “I can feel exactly how bad it is,” he said quietly. “Will you try it?”
“If it’s really one of Noni’s remedies, and it stops you nagging me, all right,” she sighed.
*
T’Chebbi called a halt to their sparring at the nineteenth hour. “We stop now,” she said. “We’re leaving for Stronghold in the morning. I need to pack and rest.”
“I’m packed,” he said, remaining in a fighting crouch.
“I’m not. Unless you can spar with yourself, we go now,” she said firmly, walking over to her locker at the other side of the exercise hall.
“I don’t want to go back yet,” he said, following her.
“Then walk back alone,” she said, pulling on her tunic.
“What about a shower?”
“Will shower at house.” She glanced at him as she picked up her belt and began to fasten it round her waist. “You going to be all right the next two days?”
Kusac reached for his own locker door, opening it and pulling his tunic and belt out. “I’ll cope,” he said offhandedly, not looking at her. “I’m happy for Kitra and Dzaka.”
“Why not partner me at Stronghold,” she said. “Let Kaid be with Carrie. Might make it easier for you— less memories.”
“I can cope, I said.”
“Can you? Will all be couples apart from Rezac, Jo, and Zashou— and us. Am only giving you another option.”
He looked up. “I know you are,” he said, his tone less sharp. “And I thank you. I have to try to cope. We’ll all stay together, then there’s no need to be seen as couples.”
“Sounds fine,” she said, grabbing her towel and beginning to head for the exit.
Though they walked back in silence, it was companionable, and T’Chebbi was content. The workout sessions were having the effect she’d planned. Kusac was beginning to relax a little at last. As they entered the villa’s central courtyard, she stopped. “I’m going to the main bathing room. Want to join me?”
He hesitated, then nodded, following her down the colonnaded walk. When they came to the door for the grooming and massage room, she held it open for him. “Bath or shower?” she asked as they walked past the single couch into the bathing room.
“Bath. Do you have soap? Mine is upstairs.”
“My room’s across the courtyard. I’ll get it,” she said. “You run the water.”
*
The bath had a raised step where he could stand while she soaped him. His pelt was still longer than usual due to the drugs they’d taken for the Jalna mission and because she was tired, it was hard work working up a lather and rubbing the soap deep down to his skin. She was used to it, though, having a naturally long pelt herself. She worked on his muscles at the same time, using it as an excuse to slowly turn the experience into a more sensual one.
He had a good body, she thought as she ran her hands firmly over his buttocks and the inside of his thighs, forcing the suds out of his fur. Well muscled, yet still lithe enough for her taste. Muscles, in her opinion, should be built up to better perform their function, not for show as some Brothers— and Sisters— believed.
He jumped, moving away from her as her hand accidentally touched him too intimately. “I can manage now,” he said, backing into the water to rinse himself.
She sighed and began to unfasten her hair. He was still too skittish. She’d hoped that by now he’d have been relaxed enough in her company to enjoy some intimacy again, perhaps enough to give him the confidence to want to spend the night with her. Never mind, there would be other times. Then she felt his hand on her waist.
“Let me help you,” he said as she turned round.
*
Kaid’s wrist comm buzzed gently. Cursing under his breath, he sat up and answered it.
“You alone?” asked T’Chebbi quietly.
“Yes, what is it?” he asked, passing his free hand over the light sensor. Something about her didn’t look right.
“Need you in my room with Kusac’s medikit,” she said. “Surprised your bio-monitor didn’t alert you.”
“On my way,” he said tersely.
*
“What happened?” he asked, taking in her state before scanning the room for Kusac. “Where is he?”
She nodded toward the other side of her bed. “On the floor. See to him first. He’s had another pain episode. He’s in shock, needs his drugs.”
He took hold of her arm, steering her to the bed, making her sit down. “You stay there,” he said. He looked across at Kusac. Limbs shaking uncontrollably, he lay curled in an almost fetal position, eyes staring blankly ahead. “I need help. I’m sending for Rezac.”
Unhappily, she nodded.
Rezac was there in minutes, by which time, Kaid had managed to make Kusac comfortable. Between them, they got his now unconscious body up to his room without waking anyone else.
“Rezac’s spending the night with him,” said Kaid when he returned. “Tell me what happened,” he asked, sitting beside her.
She leaned drowsily against him, fumbling at the belt of her robe. “My back. I can’t reach i
t, Kaid. Need you to treat it.”
“Have you taken anything?” he demanded, taking hold of her hands, suddenly worried about her. Despite them being slick with sweat, she felt cold and the skin around her eyes and nose was gray.
She nodded. “Analgesic. But I hadn’t gone into shock when I took it.”
Almost roughly, he turned her around, pulling her robe down to her waist. He hissed in shock as he saw the blood welling sluggishly from several deep cuts on her sides.
“I know,” she said as he pulled the robe up around her shoulders again and got to his feet. “I’m a fool. I should have left him be, but he asked, Kaid. First time since we got back. And it wasn’t his fault.”
“Later,” he said grimly, picking her up in his arms. “Those wounds need closing. I’m taking you to Jack.”
*
Jack lived with his Sholan Companion, Jiszoe, in an apartment within the estate’s small hospital. Leaving T’Chebbi lying facedown on a bed in one of the two treatment rooms, Kaid went to rouse the Human doctor.
By the time Jack had swabbed her wounds, cut back her pelt and stapled them closed, T’Chebbi was beginning to come round.
“He must have reached for me mentally, Kaid,” she said, twisting her head to see him. “Then the pain hit him. That’s when I got hurt.”
“He can’t have. He’s on psi suppressants,” said Kaid from his seat beside her head as Jack sprayed antibiotic sealant over the wounds. “Anyway, why would he do that?”
“It’s obvious,” said Jack, placing a gauze dressing over each set of wounds. “He’s using the pain to achieve pleasure. We know he’s lacking some physical sensitivity because of the neural damage, couple that with what that Valtegan priest did to him, and it’s not to be wondered at that his responses have got cross-wired, so to speak.” He looked over the top of his glasses at Kaid. “Thing is, how do we uncross them again? T’Chebbi’s wounds are bad enough, but her pelt gave her some protection. On Carrie, they’d be down to the bone.”
“How did he respond to you?” Kaid asked her. “Did you use one of your perfumes on him? Was he forceful at all?”
Her ears flattened in embarrassment as Jack began to chuckle.
“I’ve been hearing quite a bit about those perfumes of yours, young lady,” he said. “You and I will have to have a talk about them some day. They could be quite useful to people back home with certain medical conditions.”
“Why’d you have to tell Garras,” she grumbled, pulling her hand free of Kaid’s and batting weakly at him.
“He asked me what I’d done to seduce you,” he said with a faint smile. “Didn’t think I was going to take the blame for that, did you?”
“Huh! Not mine to give, Jack. Is Consortia product, sold only to us. Kusac didn’t force me, Kaid. Some things I did he hardly noticed, yet with others, he was oversensitive,” she said, carefully lifting her stomach off the bed so Jack could wrap the bandage round her.
Kaid got up instantly, supporting her till Jack had finished.
“All done,” Jack said. “You can sit up now.”
“If he did it on purpose, then he got it wrong,” T’Chebbi continued as Kaid helped her up. “He was in agony. Couldn’t be any pleasure in it for him.”
“Could it be part of what Chy’qui did? Conditioned him to like his response to pain?” asked Kaid, helping her into the fresh robe he’d fetched from the hospital’s store.
“Perhaps,” said Jack. “If it was, they’d have needed some form of sexual stimulus, be it even as little as those sleep tapes with images of Sholan and perhaps Human females. And I’d have expected Carrie to have suffered injuries from him, too.”
“She did, but nowhere near as severe as these. Scratches and a couple of shallow puncture wounds, that’s all. He’s not been with her since.”
“Nor with anyone else, until tonight,” said T’Chebbi, tying the robe belt. “He knows he was overly rough with Carrie, maybe that’s why.”
“He needs to be asked,” said Kaid grimly. “As Jack said, your wounds are bad enough, next time it could be worse. I’d rather you didn’t pair with him until we find out what’s happening, T’Chebbi.” He was angry at what had happened to T’Chebbi, not with Kusac, but for him, too.
“I don’t intend to,” she said with a shudder. “Jack’s right. Was taught about the darker sides of pairing at the Consortia House, but tonight scared me. He was so out of control.”
Kaid sighed and reached out to pick her up. “We have to get back.”
“I can walk,” she objected as he took her up in his arms.
“No, and you’re staying with me tonight. I want to keep an eye on you,” he said, making sure he kept his arm clear of her injuries. “Thanks, Jack. Sorry we had to wake you.”
“No problem,” said Jack, walking them to the door. “I take it you’ve no objections to me discussing this with Vanna.”
“You’d better. The God knows, we can’t leave him like this.” He stopped at the door, looking back at the pyjama-clad Human. “I don’t want Carrie hearing about this yet. I’ll find my own way to tell her.”
the Couana, Zhal-S’Asha, 20th day (October)
He stirred in his sleep, his dreams going back to his last night on the Kz’adul. A faint noise had woken him from his light doze, drawing his attention to the door. Still groggy from his medication, he watched as it opened a crack, letting in a sliver of light from the corridor outside. A feeling of unreality gripped him as he watched the gap grow wider, then darken as someone entered.
The scent reached him before any sound; dry and slightly musky, like the smell of leather. Valtegan, certainly, but more. He knew it held species specific overtones he couldn’t identify. Raising himself on one elbow, he peered through the dim light, trying to identify the figure as it closed the door. Few people came into his room, even the guard was gone now.
“Doctor Zayshul?” he asked.
“Hush,” she whispered, switching off the light. Apart from the faint-colored glow from the monitors, the room was in darkness. “You leave tomorrow. I thought I’d come say goodbye to you tonight.”
Puzzled, he listened to her footsteps come up to his bed then stop. Her hand touched his face, the palm brushing across his lips then stroking his cheek gently before it was gone. As he sat up, straining to see or hear her, a sudden dizziness overcame him and he fell back to the bed again.
Her scent grew stronger, then cool air hit his body as the cover was lifted. He felt the bed move, its strange, almost living fabric pulling away from him as she eased herself in beside him.
He tried to speak, but found it difficult to even gather his thoughts as she pressed herself against him.
“Hush,” she repeated, her hand passing gently over his face again. “Relax, nothing can harm you. This is only a dream of home and the one you love,” she said, running her hand down his back and gently pulling him onto his side. Behind him, the bed flowed against his body, forming a warm, supporting wedge.
A hand closed round his, lifting it and placing it against her smooth, naked skin. “See? This is just a dream of your Carrie.”
Was it Carrie? He knew she’d been on the ship but he thought she’d escaped with Kaid and the others. His senses befuddled, he gave up trying to figure it out and lay there, passive, as she began to stroke his side. She was warm and soft, his first pleasurable physical contact with anyone since he’d been wakened from cryo. Her hand moved lower, grasping his thigh, pulling it across her hip while her knee gently eased itself forward between his legs, pressing gently upward against him.
He responded instantly, blood rushing to his head and groin as he felt the familiar tension begin to build. As her teeth closed gently on his shoulder, he shuddered, clenching his hand round her hip. Whoever she was, what she was doing to him felt unbelievably good.
She grew bolder, the nips becoming more like bites, letting him feel the tips of her claws against the sensitive flesh on the underside of his thighs. The tension built unt
il it was imperative he move her leg. He tried, but she prevented him.
He began to growl his distress, using his strength against her for the first time, hauling her leg aside so his genitals could drop, moaning gently in relief mingled with pleasure when they did.
She began to laugh then, a sound he recognized instantly. She wasn’t Human, she was Valtegan! He froze, then tried frantically to push her away.
“No, no,” she said, running her hands across his face, lowering hers till he could feel her breath on his cheek. “It’s only a dream. Relax, this is good, Kusac. This is good.”
He felt her tongue against his cheek, flicking across his lips and nose. Almost instantly, his senses began to blur again. Powerless to resist, he could do nothing as she pushed him gently onto his back. Her scent surrounded him as she rose up from the bed, overpowering in its raw sensuality as it swept every consideration but the need to couple with her from his mind.
Time seemed to stretch endlessly as, obviously in no hurry, she played with him, exploring his body. If he’d learned the meaning of pain and fear from J’koshuk, from her he met only pleasure. He didn’t care any longer what species she was, only that she didn’t stop.
When she finally joined with him, instinctively he reached for her mind. Agony coursed through him, setting his body on fire. Crying out, he tried to stop her, to throw her off, unable to bear even her touch let alone her weight. As his unsheathed claws dug into her hips, he began to keen. Frantically, she used her greater strength to pin him to the bed, her mouth covering his in an effort to keep him silent. Every nerve aflame and hypersensitized, the effect was shattering.
*
He woke covered in sweat and tangled in his sheets, her scent as fresh in his nostrils as if she’d just left his bed. Shuddering, he pulled himself free of the covers and sat up. The dream had scared him, full as it was of dark and disturbing memories. He’d thought he’d buried it so deep in his subconscious that it would never surface, but he’d been wrong.
Swinging his legs over the side of his bed, he reached for the pack of stim twigs on his night table. As he pulled one out, he noticed that his hands were shaking badly.
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