Banner nodded. “Anything else I should know?” he asked.
Kaid looked at him. “Like what?”
“There was talk a few weeks back,” he said diffidently.
“Oh?”
“T’Chebbi getting hurt.”
Kaid sighed, idly turning his glass round on the tabletop.
“Don’t worry, it was dealt with,” Banner reassured him.
He hesitated, wondering if it was necessary to say anything. “J’koshuk was a torturer priest, head of his Order of Enforcers on Keiss. They were dedicated to rooting out any heresy among their people, heresy being defined as anything their Emperor wouldn’t have approved of. He was a specialist in pain, bred for the job, and as you know, he had Kusac for three weeks.”
“Ouch,” said Banner, with feeling. “At least Kusac got to kill the bastard.”
“J’koshuk’s overuse of the pain collar caused Kusac neural damage, which is apparently now cured. But it also caused psychological damage. T’Chebbi invited him to her room, and got hurt by accident as a result.”
“You don’t need to say any more,” said Banner. “I can imagine.”
“He should be over it,” said Kaid, looking up at him. “There may not be a problem, but he might want to find out for himself. If he does pair up with someone, just make sure you’re near enough to intervene if necessary. I could be wrong. He might just be coming here tonight because he was shut up in the shuttle for five days.”
“I’ll shadow him, Kaid, don’t worry. Are you going back to Nezule?”
“No. It’s getting close to Carrie’s time, I don’t want to be away from her, and Kusac needs time to recuperate. I don’t want to leave him alone either. Hopefully we’ll remain here for now.”
“When do you want me to start?”
“Ideally, now. I know it’s short notice, but it’s late and I want to get back to Carrie. She gets easily worked up these days. I’m going to suggest Kusac comes back with me, but if he doesn’t want to…”
“I can manage tonight. Do you want him watched overnight as well?”
“Again, use your judgment. We’ve an attendant on duty at the villa all night now. If he can contact you on your comm if Kusac leaves the premises, that should be enough.”
“You go on home. If he doesn’t go with you, I’ll have him covered. Do you want regular updates?”
“Just tell me as and when. Thanks, Banner,” said Kaid, getting up. “I appreciate it,” he said, touching him on the shoulder before going outside to rejoin Kusac.
*
“It was good to get out for an hour or two,” he said as they opened the front door. “I found I could cope easily. The torc’s sensitivity is set so low that I could barely sense anything.”
“I’m glad it’s not proving a problem. Having a bar down there a couple of evenings a week was a good idea of Garras’.”
“There’s a small inn on my mother’s estate. I saw no reason why we shouldn’t have one when Garras suggested it. Kaid,” he said, stopping at the foot of the stairs. “I’ll be all right alone tonight. I managed when I was in the shuttle.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure. I’ve had my things put in the nursery where I slept before. It’s not that I don’t want to move back in with Carrie, but you’re sharing this cub with her. You should be able to be together when you want.”
“Carrie comes to me when she wants to, Kusac. We don’t make a habit of using your rooms,” he said quietly.
“I know,” he said, looking away from him briefly. “Truth is, I’m afraid of hurting her if we get too close. I’d never forgive myself if anything happened to her or your cub.”
“If you need me, call me on your wrist comm. Don’t lie there having nightmares alone,” Kaid said reaching out to touch his cheek. Then he remembered and pulled away. “Sorry. I forgot.”
He caught hold of his friend’s hand. “It’s all right, Kaid, I don’t mind your touch. I wasn’t sure when I came back this morning, but I’m fine. That’s one of the reasons I wanted to go down to the training center, to find out if I could handle being jostled and touched. It’s difficult, but I can cope.”
Kaid nodded and clasped his hand. “You know where I am if you need me,” he said before letting him go.
*
The quiet of the night was shattered by Kusac yowling in fear. Kashini woke, shrieking her head off inconsolably. Carrie, in the suite next door, was first on the scene, closely followed by Kaid. He smelled the sweat and the fear the moment he arrived.
Kashini’s high-pitched cries, and her mental distress, cut through his head like a knife, making it impossible for him to think clearly. When Yashui the nurse arrived, he pounced on her with relief.
“Get Kashini out of here,” he said, propelling her toward Carrie, who was frantically trying to hush the struggling and screaming child. “Take Carrie with you, and for Vartra’s sake, turn on the psi dampers! I can’t think straight!”
“This room is designed to keep her mind contained, Leader Kaid,” said the nurse frostily. “None of you should be in here. Her father’s the one causing the problem.”
“I’ll see to him,” he snapped, feeling his hair beginning to rise in aggravation. “Just do your job and silence the cub!”
Shooting him an angry look, she went over to help Carrie. As soon as they left, the decibel level dropped dramatically. Before he’d taken a step in Kusac’s direction, the door behind him burst open again.
“What the hell is it now?” he demanded, spinning round, then he saw T’Chebbi.
“Only me,” she said, holstering her gun.
“Nightmares,” he said succinctly. “Go reassure the rest of the house, T’Chebbi.”
“Aye,” she said, closing the door quietly.
As his hair settled down around his shoulders again, he rubbed his aching temples then headed over to the bed where Kusac was cowering, still not fully awake despite the noise.
Sitting down, he wrapped his arms around him, holding him tight against his chest. He’d done this so many times over the last few weeks at Nezule that he knew now what worked. Resting his head on Kusac’s, he began to rock him, waiting for the shaking to stop. His time, he kept a tight rein on his emotions, aware that Kusac was now capable of sensing them.
Gradually, Kusac grew still and as the tension began to drain from his body, he was able to lessen his hold.
“It’s all right,” said Kaid soothing him as he’d seen Carrie soothe Kashini. He lifted his head up so he could stroke his friend’s. “It’s not real, only a bad dream. I’m here.” He relaxed his own mental control, hoping a light contact would help.
“I know,” said Kusac, his voice muffled against Kaid’s chest. “I can feel you.”
“I thought these dreams were over,” said Kaid gently.
“So did I.”
“What was it this time? Memories of J’koshuk again?”
“Yes. I could see him, Kaid. It was as if he was here in this room.”
Kaid could feel the memory of it forming a picture before his eyes. The green-skinned face, almost human, with its huge yellow eyes, and the mouth, smiling, showing dozens of tiny pointed teeth. He shuddered, shaking his head to dispel the image of that smile.
“Don’t, Kusac,” he said sharply. “You’re projecting him. The more often you remember him, the longer it’ll take for you to forget what happened.”
“I’m not trying to remember,” he said, voice breaking. “Do you think I want to go through that again?”
“No, I don’t think that,” he said, letting Kusac go and taking hold of his head, forcing it up till they were eye to eye. “You can’t sleep here, Kusac. Kashini saw it too. You’ll have to come in with me again.”
“I can’t,” Kusac said, taking a shuddering breath. “What about you and Carrie?”
“We’ll sort it out tomorrow, but you’re not sleeping alone— for now at least. Now get up. Kashini needs her bedroom back.”
&nb
sp; *
T’Chebbi called him on his wrist comm as he left Kusac in his shower. “Get someone to freshen the room up for Kashini,” he said, heading for the desk comm in his lounge. “Tell Carrie it was a nightmare. He’s fine now, she can relax.”
“He in with you?”
“Yes. You get back to bed, T’Chebbi, there’s nothing else needing to be done tonight. And thank you. I’m going to call Annuur and find out what the hell this was about.”
It took a few minutes before his call was answered, not by Annuur but by Sokarr.
“I get. You wait,” Sokarr said when he heard why Kaid was calling.
Annuur looked as rumpled as he felt, Kaid thought with satisfaction. “What the hell have you done to him, Annuur?” he demanded, trying to keep his voice low. “He’s just awakened the whole household with a nightmare.”
Annuur blinked sleepily out from the screen at him, rubbing his hand over his eyes and ears. “Had nightmares before this, you told us. Nothing new. Why wake me for this?”
“He couldn’t actually project his nightmares into an external form before,” said Kaid. “You imagine going through what Kusac did then seeing J’koshuk with you in your cub’s nursery, Annuur, then ask me again why I’m calling you!”
That woke the Cabbarran. “What?”
“You heard me. I saw it happening again when I was with him. His daughter saw it, and felt her father’s terror! What’s happening to him, Annuur?”
“Not our treatment, Kaid, assure you,” said the Cabbarran with obvious sincerity. “Has he projected like this before? Must be existing skill.”
“Something similar,” admitted Kaid. “On Keiss, he and Carrie broke into a Valtegan base. He projected an image of himself as a Valtegan then. But what’s that to do with this?” He wasn’t going to let the Cabbarran off the hook that easily.
“Before dreams are in his head. With psi ability back, even reduced as is now, can externalize it. Maybe easier to deal with for him. Maybe in dream he think if J’koshuk not in head, he can kill dream-J’koshuk again. This time for good.”
It made some kind of sense, he admitted grudgingly to himself.
“Warned you we did memories needed to be faced. Not so soon we thought, but not our fault.”
“What do we do, dammit? He can’t go around externalizing everything he went through!”
“He wear your design psi damper too when he sleeps until this over. Is only suggestion I can think. Is temporary. Will go.”
“Can’t you turn up the torc?”
“No! What point? Has to learn to live with Talent again. My apologies it being so difficult for him, but is fault of la’quo, not us. It alters brain chemistry. Fixed what we could, these memories are side effect of it. Rather we left it alone? Cause worse damage that way.”
“Of course I’m glad you fixed it,” he said, his anger beginning to dissipate now he understood some of the reasons.
“You need watch him more than we thought. Obvious he cannot cope with this alone. Has you, so no problem. We go back to beds now, Kaid. Your psi damper with our torc will work. Good night.” The line went dead.
“Great,” he muttered, sitting back in his chair.
“Maybe I should go to Stronghold,” said Kusac. “They’ve got psi dampers there and Lijou and Noni can help me.”
Kaid turned around to see him standing in the bathing room doorway, wrapped in a towel, still dripping. “Don’t even consider it,” he said forcefully, getting up and going over to him. “We’re in this together, the three of us,” he said, taking hold of him by the neck. “We’re family, Kusac.” He rubbed his thumbs gently along Kusac’s jawline. “Family means a lot to me now I have one.”
Kusac returned the gesture, resting his forehead on Kaid’s shoulder for a moment. “Me too, Kaid.”
“You’re dripping onto the floor,” observed Kaid, letting him go. “Let’s get you dry and into bed.”
*
He surfaced, aware of the warmth of Kaid’s body curled around his back, and of something else. Still hazy with sleep, he jumped when a hand touched his face. Carrie’s hand.
He caught hold of her, aware of her scent surrounding him because of the warmth of the bed.
“It’s only me,” she whispered, moving closer. “I wanted to be sure you were all right.”
“I’m fine,” he said quietly. “Another nightmare, that’s all.”
She disengaged her hand gently and put it on his neck. “Nightmares are not little matters. I know. I’ve had my own of J’koshuk.”
“I didn’t realize,” he said, reaching automatically to comfort her. His hand touched naked skin; he froze, confused. Then her lips touched his.
“You need something good to dream about,” she murmured, gently catching hold of his bottom lip then releasing it to tease him with her tongue.
Something other than her presence seemed strange, slightly off true. Unsure, he responded cautiously, aware of her hand stroking his chest, working its way slowly across his ribs. As their kiss grew deeper, he slid his hand up her side until he reached the soft swell of her breast. It had been so long since he’d touched her like this.
Desire flooded through him, making his heart beat faster and his groin clench as his genitals descended suddenly.
He felt Kaid stir and move away, felt a light caress travel down his back. He pulled away from her, unwilling to go further now he knew Kaid was awake.
“Hush,” she said, clasping him again. “We’ve done this before. Just relax.”
Too stunned to stop her, he let her lips close on his again. Memories from the Kz’adul deep in his subconscious began to wake as gently she urged him onto his back. Ruthlessly, he pushed the memories deeper.
“Carrie,” he began, turning his head aside from her, but her hand closed on his erection, making him suck in his breath with a low moan of pleasure and reach for her again. Sensations coursed through him, and as wisps of more recent memories began to return, his mouth sought hers, kissing her frantically, Kaid’s presence forgotten.
She teased him for a moment then let him go. Cool air hit his pelt as she sat up and threw back the cover. There was just enough light for him to see the glow of her eyes and the faint outline of her body as she leaned over him. Her fingers trailed patterns of fire across his side and belly, making him ache even more for her.
“I can’t,” he said, even as he reached for her, pulling her down. “I’m afraid of hurting you.”
“You won’t. Kaid’s here, just as he was at Nezule,” she whispered between kisses as her hands pushed through the longer pelt on his chest.
“Kaid’s here,” he said, the remembered wisps solidifying as he realized the hand touching his belly was Kaid’s.
The hand withdrew as Kaid reached across him to help Carrie slide between them.
Then her hands were caressing him, working her magic, making him forget everything but the need to hold her and touch her. His hand cupped her breast, his tongue gently lapping at it, playing with her nipple until his teeth closed on it, nipping gently.
He felt Kaid’s breath warm on his face and looked up to see his sword-brother’s eyes glowing down at him. Lowering his head, Kaid began to gently lick at Carrie’s shoulder. Her fingers twined in his hair, drawing his attention back to her.
“Don’t stop,” she whispered, arching toward him as a shudder of pleasure ran through her body.
He returned to teasing her breast while sliding his hand over the taut swell of her belly. In his mind, Kaid’s presence grew stronger, his friend’s arousal making his own more intense. His hand moved lower, running the tips of his claws over the softness of her thighs. She moaned softly, the sound muffled when Kaid began to kiss her.
Darkness held them close, gave them anonymity. Once more he neither knew nor cared who caressed whom as the barriers between them blurred. All that mattered was that they shared the love they felt for each other. When they joined, he tucked against her back, she holding Kaid, he knew th
at they’d come together as one.
Valsgarth Estate, Zhal-Nylam, 2nd day (September)
He woke first, finding himself partly entangled with Kaid, both of them wrapped protectively round Carrie. He felt Kaid’s presence in his mind before his friend began to stir. It felt different, not as harsh as he’d remembered it back in their early days at Stronghold.
“Morning,” said Kaid lazily, looking at him with half open eyes across the sleeping form of Carrie.
“You’ve changed,” he said quietly.
“You know I have.” Kaid slid his leg free.
“I meant mentally. Your touch is gentler.”
“With you and Carrie,” he agreed.
“This is what should have happened when we become sword-brothers, isn’t it? Not you and me, the three of us.”
Kaid nodded. “Neither of you were ready for this then. As it was, I was afraid you’d misunderstand what I feel for you.”
“I did, until we took the oath. You didn’t make it easy for me, you know.”
Arching an eye ridge, Kaid grinned. “Garras didn’t make it easy for me. Why should I have done different for you?”
“No reason. How did we first…?” His gesture took them all in.
“It was while you had your fever at Nezule. The dreams were so bad we both slept with you. The night the fever broke, you were the one who turned to us— and to me. Other Triads have found this solution, Kusac. We’re not alone.”
“No wonder Triads need to be close.” He moved closer to Carrie, placing his hand over the curve of her belly, feeling the cub inside her move.
Carrie stirred, putting her hand over his. “Got a kick like Kashini had,” she mumbled. “Maybe it’s a Sholan thing. Maybe you two got more in common than you know.” Her wrist comm buzzed in a short, rhythmic pattern. She groaned. “I gotta go see to Kashini.” She reached out and pulled him close, kissing him before turning to Kaid and doing the same. “Would one of you get me my robe? Unless you want to lose this sheet.”
Kaid laughed and untangled himself. “I’ll go. Kusac doesn’t know where it is.”
When she’d gone, Kaid went over to the dispenser. “Coffee or c’shar?” he asked.
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