by Joy Fielding
“No kidding.”
“You need some help getting up?”
“Who says I want to get up?”
“Oh. Okay. Sorry I bothered you.” He pushed himself back to his full height.
“No, wait. I’m sorry. You were just being nice, and I’m being a bitch.”
Hayden immediately crouched back down, his ponytail settling across his left shoulder.
“What happened to your friends?” she asked.
“They decided to drive into Bolton Landing.”
“How come you didn’t go with them?”
“Thought I’d get to bed early. My dad and I are planning to go up to Mount Marcy tomorrow, do some serious hiking.”
God, he really is a dork, Brianne thought. Tall, not bad-looking. But a dork nonetheless.
And just maybe a dork with a cell phone?
“So, you really like this sort of thing?” she asked.
“Love it. The mountains, the lake, the fresh air.” He took a long, deep breath as if to underline his point. “What’s not to like?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe the mountains, the lake, the fresh air?”
He laughed.
“I guess I’m just not much of a camper.”
“So I gather from the shoes.”
“You don’t like my shoes?” She offered another of her most winsome smiles, hoping it would work better on him than it had on her mother.
“No, your shoes are great.” He looked toward the ground to hide his obvious embarrassment.
Oh, this is just too easy, she thought. “So, you want to show me the lake?”
His eyes shot to hers. “Sure. It’s just down that way.” He motioned with his right hand while the left one helped pull her to her feet.
“You wouldn’t happen to have a cell phone on you, would you?” she asked when they were safely out of earshot.
“Sure,” he said. “Why?”
“In case we get lost.”
“Don’t worry. You’re safe with me.”
Brianne glanced back toward her mother, who was talking to Gary and hadn’t noticed them leaving. She smiled, reaching for Hayden’s hand. “I’m not worried,” she said.
FOURTEEN
SO, TELL ME EVERYTHING about your divorce,” Val said.
Gary laughed.
“I’m serious. I want to know all the gory details.” What the hell? Val figured. He lives in Connecticut. I’ll probably never see him again. Might as well make the evening as entertaining as possible. “You said it was nasty.”
“And nasty it was.”
“Why is that? And please don’t tell me it’s none of my business. I already know that.”
Gary laughed again, a full-throated sound that chopped through the still night air like an axe through wood. “The lady wants all the nasty details.”
Val nodded, catching a hint of blush in Gary’s rugged cheeks. Although maybe it was only the light from the fire, she thought, hoping the flames were bathing her complexion in a similarly flattering glow. “I assume there was a third party involved.”
“At least three parties that I know of,” Gary said.
“Your wife had affairs?”
“You sound surprised.”
“Just that it’s usually …”
“… the husband who’s unfaithful?” Gary glanced toward Jennifer. “Was that your experience?”
“We’re talking about you now, remember?”
“Ah, yes. Well, where was I?”
“Your wife’s affairs.”
“The first one was with her personal trainer. The second one was with a stay-at-home dad who lived down the street.”
“You never suspected anything?”
“Not a thing. You?”
“I never suspected,” Val said. I knew, she added silently.
“I actually thought we were very happy. We never fought. In fact, we hardly ever disagreed. Our sex life was good; our social life was active. Too active, as it turned out. At least on her part.”
“I’m sorry.”
“The truth is that I probably never would have found out about any of my wife’s affairs if her sister hadn’t spilled the beans.”
“Your wife’s sister told you?”
“She was pretty angry.”
“Why would she be angry?”
“Because my wife’s third affair was with her sister’s husband.”
“Seriously?”
“I think this is where things start getting nasty,” Gary said.
Val thought of her own sister, Allison, three years her junior. They’d never been particularly close, but sisters were sisters, for heaven’s sake. There were some lines you didn’t cross. Even Evan would balk at having an affair with her sister. Wouldn’t he? “Did your wife ever say why she picked her sister’s husband?”
“Because he was there?” Gary asked in return.
“It’s a pretty hostile thing to do. Her sister must have been devastated.”
“She was.”
“Are they still together?”
“No. Breakups all around.”
“And is your ex seeing anyone now?”
“My son tells me that she’s currently involved with one of my former partners.”
Val absorbed this latest tidbit. Clearly the former Mrs. Parker liked to keep her affairs close to home. Val wondered if she’d also brought them into her home, as Evan had done. “And how do you feel about that?”
“Part of me feels sorry for the poor bastard. The other part thinks it serves him right. Never did like the guy.”
“And what does Hayden think of all this?” Val looked around the campfire for Gary’s son, but didn’t see him.
“He was pretty shaken up by the divorce. Didn’t see it coming.” Gary shrugged. “But then, neither did I.”
“Does he know …?”
“About his mother and his uncle? I don’t think so. At least I didn’t tell him. But kids have a way of ferreting out things you don’t want them to know.”
Val nodded her agreement. “He seems pretty well-adjusted,” she offered.
“Maybe. It’s kind of hard to tell with Hayden. He’s quiet, tends to keep things bottled up inside. I’m still waiting for the eruption.”
There was a second’s silence, as if he were, in fact, waiting for some kind of explosion. The bonfire obliged with a few desultory crackles, like gunfire.
“What are we doing to our kids?” Val asked.
“No worse than what our parents did to us,” Gary answered matter-of-factly. “Somehow we all manage to survive.”
“Do we?”
Another silence. More snap, crackle, and pop from the burning, sweet-smelling wood. Val noticed that James and Melissa had joined a small group of campers who were roasting marshmallows over the open fire, James leading them in a surprisingly melodious rendition of “My Favorite Things.” She strained to see whether Brianne was among them.
“So, how long ago did all this take place?” Val asked, deciding that her daughter would probably rather be dead than participate in a campfire sing-along. She felt a sudden chill and leaned over to hug her knees to her chest.
“About four years ago, I guess. Sometimes it feels like yesterday. Other times, it’s like it happened a lifetime ago. Someone else’s life,” he added. “You’re shivering. Are you cold?”
“A little.”
“We could move closer to the fire.”
“No, it’s okay. You haven’t met anyone else?”
“Actually, I just met a very lovely woman.”
“Oh.”
“Well, actually I knew her from before.”
“Oh?”
“It turns out we went to high school together.”
Val smiled. “You did?”
“Yeah. She was this feisty little thing. I always had a bit of a crush on her.”
“You did?” Val repeated.
“Well, no,” Gary admitted. “But I was just this big, dumb lug. What did I know?”
“I think I might have a crush on her now,” Gary said.
Val laughed. Which was when he suddenly leaned forward and kissed her. And she just as suddenly leaned in and kissed him right back. And it felt good. Hell, it felt great. She’d almost forgotten how good kissing a man could feel.
This is crazy. What am I doing? she thought in the next breath, trying desperately to push such thoughts from her head, to not think anything at all, to exist simply in the moment. Except she couldn’t. What if Jennifer was watching? Or worse, Brianne? Hadn’t she just berated her daughter for having sex in a public place? What kind of example was she setting? She twisted her head suddenly to one side, looking for her daughter. The result was that Gary’s lips slid across her cheek and ended up buried in the side of her hair.
He laughed, his breath tickling her neck. “That was interesting.”
“Sorry.”
“Something wrong?”
“This probably isn’t a good idea.”
“Okay,” he said easily, pulling away.
“It’s just that …”
“No explanation necessary.”
“Not that it wasn’t very nice, or that I didn’t enjoy it. It was and … I did … very much.”
“In that case, maybe we could do it again sometime.”
“When?” The word popped out of Val’s mouth, catching them both off guard.
“How about later?” he suggested, eyes twinkling. “After everyone’s asleep.”
Val nodded. “That might work.” What was she saying? Was she really planning a midnight tryst with a man she hardly knew, regardless of their past connection?
She took a deep breath, her eyes skirting the edge of the campsite. Melissa and James were still singing, Jennifer was still pretending to be engrossed in her book, Brianne was still nowhere to be seen. “I don’t see my daughter anywhere. Do you?”
Gary craned his head to look through the crowd. “Maybe she went back to her tent.”
“I should check.”
Gary was instantly on his feet, extending a helping hand in Val’s direction. They walked quickly toward the assembled tents. “Brianne?” Val called as they approached the far end of the campsite. She bent down to peer into the first of the three tents they’d reserved, already knowing Brianne wouldn’t be inside.
Nor was her daughter in the second or third tent they checked.
“Where the hell is she?” Val pushed herself up on her toes and stared through the darkness.
“Maybe she’s with my son.”
“What makes you say that?”
“Just a hunch. I saw them talking earlier, and I haven’t seen either of them since.”
“You really think they might be together?”
“It’s a possibility.”
What would Brianne be doing with Hayden? Val wondered. “Does Hayden have a cell phone?” she asked, the answer suddenly very clear.
“Sure.”
“I’ll kill her,” Val said.
Gary laughed. “As I’m sure you’ve discovered, cell phone reception in these mountains is sketchy at best. Chances are she won’t be able to get through to anyone. And you don’t have to worry about Hayden. He’s a good kid. He’ll make sure she doesn’t get into any trouble.”
Val decided Gary was right. Even if Tyler was still in the area, there was zero chance of him reconnecting with her daughter tonight. There was no reason for her to worry or to let her daughter spoil what was shaping up to be a very interesting evening. “I’m still gonna kill her.”
She watched Gary’s lips curl into a seductive grin, teasing her with unspoken possibilities. You were the moment, Val thought sadly, recalling the lyrics of a song she loved. And the moment is gone.
Except the moment wasn’t gone. The moment was standing right in front of her.
Fearless, Gary had called her.
But being fearless wasn’t the same thing as having actual courage. And, in truth, she wasn’t fearless. She never had been. The truth was she’d been running scared all her life, afraid she wasn’t worthy of love because those closest to her had all abandoned her, first her father, then her mother, then her sister. Evan was merely the latest in a long line.
She wondered when she’d come to define herself only as an adjunct to others—her mother’s daughter, Brianne’s mother, Evan’s wife. When had she, all too willingly, it now seemed, surrendered her once-considerable power? Where at one time had existed a thriving core, there now existed a kind of wilderness, a confusing and overgrown landscape she’d been stumbling blindly across for years. Somewhere in the middle of that wilderness, she understood, was the girl she’d lost, the girl she, herself, had abandoned.
And while her husband’s womanizing had been at least partly responsible for the slow and steady erosion of both her pride and self-esteem, she couldn’t place all the blame on Evan. Nor could she blame everything on her father’s desertion or her mother’s drinking. She was forty years old, for God’s sake. Wasn’t it time she grew up and accepted responsibility for her own actions? How much more time was she going to waste?
Val looked deep into Gary’s eyes, knowing that tomorrow they would undoubtedly go their separate ways, she back to Brooklyn, he to Connecticut. And while the distance between the two places was hardly insurmountable, it was far enough. Oh, he’d probably promise to stay in touch, but in all likelihood, after a few e-mails, their contact would cease. Soon she’d be little more than a curious addendum to his high school memories. You’ll never guess who I ran into a few weeks back. You remember Valerie Marcus? Feisty little thing. Couldn’t do the butterfly stroke to save her life. Not a bad kisser, however.
Might as well give him more to remember me by than that, Val thought now, moving closer. All right, so he wasn’t Evan. But at this moment, he had one distinct advantage over her errant husband—he was here.
This time she was the one to initiate the kiss. “Come on,” she whispered in the next instant, backing out of his arms and pulling him toward her tent.
He hesitated. “Now?”
“You have a problem with now?”
A growing smile filled his face. “As fearless as ever,” he said with an admiring shake of his head.
“As fearless as ever,” she agreed.
* * *
“VAL! VAL, OVER here!” James was calling as she and Gary returned to the center of the campsite approximately half an hour later. James beckoned them toward the bonfire with broad waves of his skinny arms. “Come sit down. We’re about to do ‘Everything’s Coming Up Roses.’ ”
“He’s in his element,” Melissa said.
“Who knew camping was this much fun?” James asked rhetorically.
“Have either of you seen Brianne?” Val was dismayed to discover her daughter wasn’t back yet, and already second-guessing her impromptu dalliance with Gary. Probably not the smartest thing I could have done, she was thinking, before deciding quite the opposite was true. Making love to Gary was the smartest thing she’d done in years.
Melissa shook her head as James squinted through the darkness toward Jennifer. “Maybe she knows where she is.”
Val walked briskly toward her husband’s fiancée. “Have you seen Brianne?” she asked as the young woman reluctantly looked up from her book, her finger ostensibly marking the spot at which she’d been interrupted.
“Last I saw she was with that boy … your son, I believe.” Jennifer acknowledged Gary with a nod, her eyes openly quizzical.
Does she suspect anything? Val wondered. Had she seen their earlier kiss, watched them wander off together, counting off the minutes until they’d returned? Was she planning to tell Evan about her suspicions? How would he react? Would he be jealous? Was that why she’d virtually thrown herself at a man she hadn’t seen since she was a teenager?
Or were her motives even more pathetic than that? Had she given herself to Gary simply because he’d been nice to her? Because she liked the way he looked at her? B
ecause he obviously found her desirable? Was that all it took? “Did you see where they went?” she asked, over the barrage of silent questions.
“No. But she can’t have gone far. I wouldn’t worry.”
“You never do.”
“I think Val would just feel better knowing where her daughter is,” Gary said, as if sensing trouble ahead.
“I think she should give it a rest.” Jennifer returned to her book.
Val spun around on her heels, stomping back toward the bonfire.
“Sorry,” she said as Gary struggled to catch up to her. “It was either leave immediately or strangle her on the spot.”
“I think you showed remarkable restraint. For what it’s worth, I probably would have strangled her back at the lodge.”
“You say the sweetest things.”
Gary laughed.
Val glanced back at Jennifer. “She’s very beautiful. Don’t you think?”
He shrugged. “I think you’re prettier.”
It was Val’s turn to laugh. “You just think I’m easy.”
“I think you’re fabulous.”
Val smiled, understanding that her appeal to Gary was based on a total misconception. He thinks I’m someone I’m not. He thinks I’m fearless when, in fact, I’m scared to death. Although maybe not quite as scared as I was half an hour ago.
“Val … Gary,” James called, his voice echoing through the darkness as he patted the ground beside him. “Come on back. We’ve decided to tell ghost stories. I’m first.”
“You’ve created a monster,” Melissa said as Val approached.
“I’ll go see if I can find Hayden,” Gary offered.
“I’ll come with you.”
“No. You’ll stay here and play with your friends. Let me deal with this.”
Val nodded a heartfelt thank-you.
“What’s going on?” Melissa asked as Val squeezed in beside her.
“We think Brianne might be with his son …”
“I’m not talking about Brianne. I’m talking about you and that twinkle in your eye.”
Val protested. “Don’t be silly. There’s no twinkle.”
“There’s a definite twinkle.”
“You’re crazy.”
“Val and Gary sitting in a tree,” James sang softly under his breath. “K-i-s-s-i-n-g.”