by Amy Daws
I enter the side door by the garage that Leslie told me would be open. I’m greeted by steps to the left and the shop entrance straight ahead. She said the steps would lead right up to their flat door, so I reach the top and knock, shifting my gift bag in my hand as I wait.
When the door opens, my face is eye level with the most adorable red-haired baby I’ve ever seen. I presume the masculine blond-dusted forearms wrapped around her are Theo’s until I catch sight of familiar brown leather cuffs. I’m stunned when my gaze lifts to find Hayden’s grey eyes peering down on me.
“Hayden!” I exclaim in surprise.
“Vi…What are you doing here?” His face appears just as confused as mine.
I look around for a moment, like I’m in the wrong place. “I’m here to meet Marisa.”
“I didn’t know you were coming around. You never mentioned.”
“I didn’t know you were visiting as well,” I state, grabbing my hair, twisting it around my hand, and releasing it nervously.
He adjusts Marisa, who’s facing out in his arms, and she makes an adorable growly sound. She grabs hold of Hayden’s leather wrist cuff with her chubby digits and tries awkwardly to get it to her mouth. “I’m not visiting. I live here.”
This shocks me. “Since when? I thought this was Leslie and Theo’s flat.”
“It is. I erm…live with them.” He looks rather embarrassed.
“Oh.” I glance back down at Marisa and reach out to touch her hand. She instantly wraps her fingers around mine and tries to pull them to her mouth. “Had I known, I wouldn’t have—”
“Wouldn’t have come?” he asks, a peculiar frown marring his face.
I stare up at his fallen expression. “No, I just mean. I don’t know what I mean.” My cheeks heat. I know exactly what I mean, but I don’t have the nerve to say it. This feels awkward, especially given that all I care about right now are the reasons for his abrupt exit last night.
“Vi!” Leslie sings suddenly from inside the flat and comes rushing over to greet me. She moves past Hayden and brings me in for a hug. She’s dressed in yellow and black polka dot leggings with a long, billowy, green tank. She makes mummyhood look fun and fashionable with her ever-present eclectic style. She beams proudly. “You made it! I’m so pumped. This is Marisa, as you can tell. And your timing is perfect. She’s actually having a great morning, isn’t she Hayden?”
He nods in agreement as Leslie drags me from the steps and into their flat. It’s all wide open with super high ceilings and tons of natural light pouring in from the sweeping industrial windows. It’s very modern and bright with all white walls and several familiar-looking grey wooden furniture pieces taking place of pride throughout the flat. An open staircase leads up to what looks like a loft bedroom. At the same time I peruse, Theo comes bounding down the steps in joggers and a white T-shirt, putting his glasses on and looking a bit groggy.
“Hiya, Vi. How are you?” he asks, coming in and dropping a friendly kiss to my cheek. Then he strides over to Hayden and takes Marisa in his arms. He kisses her over and over on the side of her chubby cheek and she makes a cute gurgled squeal. “Morning, beautiful. You miss me?”
“Theo was up most of the night with her,” Leslie explains. “She wouldn’t sleep. Hayden kept him company for a good bit of it I think.”
Hayden looks at me sheepishly, like he’s uncomfortable with the fact that I’m learning so much about his life in one quick meeting. “Well, she’s gorgeous, Leslie. I’m only sorry I didn’t get here sooner. Can I hold her?”
“Yes…But don’t feel bad if she starts crying,” Leslie adds. “She hates everybody.”
“Not me,” Hayden grumbles defensively.
“Yes, Hayden, you’re special. Marisa loves Uncle Hayden,” Leslie says in a cooing tone.
“She loves Daddy too.” Theo gives Marisa one final smooch before he passes her off to me. He turns to approach Leslie for a hug while murmuring good mornings to her next. I hear Leslie make a smart remark about how she’s number two now, and the two of them playfully quarrel while I cradle Marisa in the crook of my arm. She instantly starts fussing and I struggle to find the right way to hold her so she relaxes.
“Try facing her out,” Hayden offers helpfully, his grey eyes watching me thoughtfully.
I turn her around so she’s facing Hayden and he smiles proudly as she settles. “You know her rather well,” I say, feeling mildly impressed.
He shrugs. “Comes with the territory. It was sort of survival one-o-one to live here.”
“Where do you sleep?”
“There’s a guestroom down that hall.” He points behind himself to an area just off the sunken living room. “I’d ask if you want to sit, but that’s when the fussing usually commences.”
“I’m fine standing,” I say. “So how are you?”
His eyes turn a cold grey as he nods dismissively. “Just fine, thanks. You?”
“Good.” Well that told me absolutely nothing.
“Vi! Oh my God, I completely forgot!” Leslie exclaims, snapping mine and Hayden’s pensive eyeballing away from each other. She rushes over to the large dining room table covered in several floral centrepieces and other various items left over from last night’s event. She searches around for a moment before she finds what she’s looking for and turns to me. “You won!”
She’s holding the trinket box that I bid on last night. My eyes alight! “Seriously?”
Leslie smiles broadly. “I know, you lucky duck. You get to go on an amazing holiday!”
“What?” I ask, confused.
“The holiday you bid on. It’s a weekend in Barcelona. I’m so jealous I’m not even happy for you.”
I frown. “Oh, crap. I didn’t even realise. I was just bidding on the box.”
“What do you mean?” Theo asks, eyeing me sternly as Leslie resumes her position in his arms.
I shift Marisa in my grasp before replying, “I really only wanted the box. I have a gift idea in mind for my dad and the box…I don’t know…It just called to me. Do you guys know where they came from? I’m hoping to find four more.”
They all stare at me, completely gobsmacked. Leslie speaks first, “Vi, you bid six hundred pounds for a box?”
I immediately flush with embarrassment. “I just saw it as a donation,” I reply meekly. Christ, Leslie, did you have to blurt it out like that?
Hayden’s stare is piercing through me so hard I can hardly look at anyone else.
Leslie laughs, “Vi, you do know that Hay—”
“Congratulations,” Hayden interrupts her. “I hope you still enjoy the trip, regardless. It is donated and paid in full already.”
Theo adds, “We can find you more boxes, I’m sure.” He and Hayden exchange a look like they are having a silent conversation, making me feel more confused than ever.
Leslie eventually ushers me into the kitchen area to make us some tea. Hayden and Theo respectfully retreat to the living room and turn on the telly. We chat for over an hour about work drama, China nonsense, and all things baby. We have a good laugh at Benji’s expense I’m afraid. When you get pissed out of your mind like that and kiss Hayden on the lips, you’re setting yourself up to be laughed at. Beyond all that, I give her the little outfit I picked up for Marisa from a street vendor near our office. It’s very colourful, just like Leslie. I miss having that colour with me at work every day.
By the time I get ready to leave, my arms feel like they are about to fall off. I can’t believe how holding a tiny baby can feel like such a workout. Leslie grabs Marisa from me and hands me the keepsake box. As she begins to show me out, Hayden hops up from the couch and jogs over. “I’ll walk you home,” he says and Leslie eyes him with a frown.
“Do just help yourself, Hayden,” she states sarcastically. “Maybe ask Vi if she’d like to be walked home by you first, you cocky bugger.”
“May I walk you home?” He flashes me a sheepish half smile and stuffs his hands into his jean pockets.
This is a different man than the one I saw last night. He’s not moody and defensive. He’s not sexual and prowling. He’s…shy. I arch a curious brow. “By all means.”
I giggle at Leslie’s goofy expression and give her and Marisa a big hug goodbye. Then I wave to Theo before I follow Hayden down the steps. Now holding my prized box, I know just how perfect it will be for what I have in mind.
We make our way out into the unseasonably warm summer day. We walk wordlessly for a couple of blocks and I force myself not to be the first to break our silence. It’s hard because he’s even hotter in his casual Saturday wear. A pair of perfectly fitted jeans with a big brown belt and a short sleeved, black, V-neck T-shirt. Coupled with his leather cuffs, his layered watch, and leather sandals, he’s got me reliving the kiss we shared in distinct detail…despite his multiple personalities.
“You’re quiet today,” he finally says after we’ve walked for a couple quiet minutes. “That’s…different.”
“I’m just unsure what to think right now,” I state.
He nods thoughtfully. “I’m sorry. I just…got spooked. That kiss was—”
“Intense?” I blurt out and turn to watch his reaction.
His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows hard and licks his lips in agreement. His fiery grey eyes are showing me prowling Hayden again. But it’s as if he’s holding back. Like he’s putting that lion in its cage. “I just…I didn’t want you to get the wrong idea.”
“What wrong idea do you mean?”
“I’m not in a good enough place to be with anyone right now. I’ve worked my arse off to get here and can’t have anything messing about my recovery.” He pauses as his eyes cloud over for a moment. “But also, I have a very nasty track record of friends with benefits. I won’t go down that road again, Vi.”
The friends with benefits line feels like a jab right to my stomach. That’s not once what I ever hoped for between us. To be frank, I’m not sure what I hoped for. And after the look in his eyes after our kiss, when he said “thank you” and took off, I suspected he simply didn’t feel the kiss the same way I did.
“So I would be a distraction?” I ask, still trying to figure him out. He smiles and runs his hands over his messy hazel blond hair. It’s disheveled in that perfect way that my hands itch to tangle through.
“Yes, Vi. That is exactly what you’d be. A beautiful, bright, bubbly, blonde distraction.”
“That’s a lot of B’s.” I grimace at his characterisation of me. Is that really all he sees in me? My heart continues to sink further and further.
“I know I asked you to help me with my countdown challenge, but I think it’s a bad idea,” he says before I have more time to consider what he said about me.
“What do you mean?” I stop walking and cross my arms over my chest to look him in the eyes.
He gazes at me like it’s harder to speak now than it was before. “After last night…I just…I can’t go through with it. Not with you. I’ll find someone else.”
“No!” I exclaim, feeling a bit brassed off over his description of me. I’m determined to change it. I’m a great deal more than those B words he used to describe me. “I don’t want you to find anybody else. I want to be the person.”
He shakes his head and looks away. “You don’t know what you’re asking.”
“Let me be the judge of that.” I reach out for his arm so he looks at me. “Hayden, I’m not some meek little ditz. I may look like it, but I’m not. I was raised by my father and am surrounded by four football-playing brothers. They are all bossy, obnoxious men who like to butt their noses in my life whenever the mood strikes them. Believe me when I tell you, if I’m strong enough to handle the lot of them, I’m strong enough to handle this.”
He looks somewhat intrigued. “Should I be afraid these brothers are going to hunt me down?”
“Yes,” I nod truthfully. Especially if you never kiss me like that again, I want to say. “Seriously, are you quite strong? You might want to start doing more cardio. Running specifically.”
His chest rumbles with laughter. “You have to promise me that if it ever gets to be too much, you’ll tell me. We end it, straight away. No hurt feelings. I don’t want to hurt you, Vi.”
“Piece of cake,” I reply with a simple shrug.
FULL CIRCLE MOMENT
What did I just commit to? Doing this countdown challenge that Doc suggested with Vi is going to be bloody painful. But shite do I want to prove it to myself that I can do it. Maybe there’s even a part of me that wants to prove it to Vi as well. Either that or I’m thinking if I dump all my issues on her it’ll help prevent me from wanting to pursue her. Or better yet, her wanting to pursue me.
I don’t need a love interest right now. I just need to stay clean and focused. Yes, that kiss was fucking memorable to say the least. Yes, I spent most of the night thinking that in another life I would have drug her up to her flat, peeled that dress off her slim body, and made sure every bare curve and flat surface was touched by my lips.
Deep breaths, Hayden. Deep breaths.
But I stayed strong. I stayed the course. Because I’m not weak anymore. And I’m doing this countdown challenge one way or another.
I’m relieved when we decide there’s no time like the present to dive in. Delaying our visits would only make it easier for me to find excuses to get out of it. She suggests we run back to her place first to grab Bruce so we can go sit at a nearby dog park to talk. I’m both dreading and ready for this first “countdown confession.” It will be very telling what kind of person Vi is and how strong I am in my recovery to openly discuss this with a new acquaintance.
As we approach her flat, a younger Italian-looking bloke with a backpack of gardening gear stands waiting at her alley entrance.
“Hey, Vincent! Sorry I’m late,” Vi calls, speeding up her pace toward her door.
“No problem, Miss Harris,” he says as I watch his eyes linger on her exposed torso and drift down her legs.
I glare at him and he looks at me as if to say, “Hey man, I’m only human.” Cheeky fucking wanker.
“Come on up. I’m going to pop out and take Bruce for a walk, so I’ll just leave you to it.”
The three of us slip into the small lift. Vi sticks a metal key into the slot, and my eyes flash in shock when I see the number eleven displayed as the only button on control panel.
Without noticing, she looks to me and says, “Vincent tends the garden on my roof.”
My brows go up. “You have a garden on your roof?”
She looks down in embarrassment. “It’s only flowers and plants. Not like produce or anything.”
“It’s incredible. You should see it,” Vincent says, nodding earnestly. “The roses are just beginning to bloom.”
“I can show it to you some other time,” she shrugs her shoulders nonchalantly.
When the lift doors open to the eleventh floor, I’m surprised to see we’re walking straight into her flat. Since I’m the first one out, my crotch is instantly pummeled by a wet mouth.
“Oi, Bruce!” Vi shrieks and stumbles over to grab him around the collar. She struggles to pull him back. “You disgusting creature. Go on and head up, Vincent.”
I don’t even attempt to help her with Bruce as I take in the stunning eleventh-floor penthouse. Vincent walks through her airy living room, out the large balcony door, and begins climbing a ladder on the building that evidently leads up to the roof. A huge flat-screen is mounted on one wall in the sitting area, and a quick glance through a pair of French doors to the left reveals a huge ornately, gothically decorated bedroom. The bed alone is a jaw-dropping piece of art.
Vi has a gardener, her flat is decorated immaculately, she was willing to spend six hundred pounds on a keepsake box, and she lives on the entire top floor of this building. “Who are you, Vi Harris?” I ask, my gaze crashing on hers in accusatory curiosity.
She blows a puff of hair out of her face, still holding onto Bruce. “What
do you mean?”
“You said your brothers are footballers,” I start, beginning to put two and two together.
“I did.”
My jaw drops. “Like professional footballers?”
She sighs heavily.
I inhale sharply. “Is your brother Gareth Harris? As in, Manchester United starting defender?” My face is deathly serious.
She purses her lips. “Are you a fan?”
My eyes widen as she confirms my suspicions. “This means your dad is Vaughn Harris, the manager of the Bethnel Green Rollers.”
“You’re a fan,” she murmurs.
“You could say that.” I blink my eyes slowly and run my hands through my hair. “Christ. Now I’m afraid.”
“Afraid of what?”
“Your brothers!”
She giggles and releases Bruce to pounce me. “Too late to back out now, mate.” Just as Bruce nearly reaches me, she says, “C’mon Bruce, time for a walkies,” and he diverts his path toward a small basket in her kitchen to grab his own lead.
Still slightly star-struck by this very new information, Vi and I head out with Bruce in tow. Jesus. I never would have guessed any of this about timid, quirky, and somewhat awkward Vi! I do my best not to fire a million questions at her because I assume she gets that a lot. And frankly, I’m more intrigued at watching her walk this enormous animal through the busy streets of Brick Lane. She looks rather confident and at ease in her own skin. Bruce is actually quite manageable on a lead, which I’m grateful to see. One strong tug from him and he’d take Vi out and seriously injure her.
She leads us into a quiet little park oasis where a pair of poodles are prancing around proudly. They take one look at Bruce and freeze. Vi unclips his lead and he bounds over to them, immediately rolling over on his back to allow the two precious canines to sniff all of his wobbly bits till their hearts are content. One of his paws is the size of the pair of them put together. It’s comical, really. The three begin chasing each other and yipping playfully as Vi and I find a secluded bench beneath a magnolia tree.