by Jody Hedlund
The servants had placed Olivia’s chest of clothing and other personal items against the opposite wall. They’d followed my instructions and had recovered more of the gowns we’d confiscated from her home and had folded them carefully and laid them on the top of the chest.
I strode across the room and lowered Olivia to the bed. As I released her, I realized suddenly that I had no desire to relinquish my hold. I liked having her close.
Even so, I wrenched my arms away from her, thankful for the presence of the squires waiting outside the door to hold me accountable for my actions. As tempting as it was to linger in Olivia’s room and perhaps steal another kiss from her, I needed to proceed with care.
She snuggled into the mattress and released a contented breath at the same time that her lashes fell to her cheeks.
She lay there, still attired in the headdress and gown I’d chosen for her to wear to the betrothal ceremony, and I could only guess how constricting the items were. But she’d been exquisitely beautiful in them, and she’d been pleased to wear something fine and pretty again.
You have brought much comfort and happiness to me this day with your kindness. Her words rippled through me.
Had I really brought her comfort and happiness today?
I’d failed so miserably to bring Giselle happiness. I’d tried to love her, but I’d fallen short. I didn’t want that to happen again. But what if it did? What if I somehow failed Olivia too?
I took a step away from the bed, away from the temptation she posed.
She didn’t stir. The deep rise and fall of her chest told me she was already asleep.
For a moment, I couldn’t move. I could only watch the tawny firelight flicker in waves across her smooth features, highlighting the elegant lines and slopes in her face.
There was the very real possibility I would marry this woman within the week. And while my stomach flipped and floundered at the possibility, it also seemed to tangle itself into knots with every flip.
Could I give myself permission to attempt to love again and hope to get it right this time? Or should I keep my heart closed off? If I kept the barriers up, I would protect Olivia from getting hurt if I failed her.
The last thing I wanted to do was harm her. But a fear deep inside my bones warned that I’d hurt her no matter which way I chose.
Chapter
16
“What are we doing today?” I asked Aldric as he led me down the spiraling tower stairs.
“You must wait and see, my lady,” he answered patiently. Thankfully, in addition to patience, his voice hinted at humor.
For the past three days, he’d come to my high prison tower every late afternoon. Apparently, Pitt had granted him permission to allow me the reprieve from my confinement only if I remained with him for the duration of the outings.
The first day we’d strolled among the castle gardens. I’d basked in every moment of the sunshine and fresh air, reluctant to return to my room when the time together came to a close.
The next afternoon, because of the rain, we’d walked the long passageways of the castle, and had eventually raced up and down opposite stairwells to see who was the fastest. While Aldric had won almost every contest, we’d laughed breathlessly together after each challenge.
Yesterday had been dismal and rainy again. I’d been delighted when he’d ushered me into a large room in the barracks where we’d practiced sword drills. Although we’d used nothing more than blunt wooden training swords, I’d appreciated the chance to practice my skills. And I’d also enjoyed surprising him and his squires with my abilities.
Today had dawned with brilliant sunshine. I hoped we would be able to spend our time together outside again. Although truthfully, I’d decided it didn’t matter what we did or where we went. His companionship was enough. He was easy to talk to, enjoyable to be with, and challenged me to be better—to be kinder, nobler, wiser—like him.
“I was afraid I would go mad with the waiting today,” I admitted.
Rather than chain mail, he was attired in a silver-blue gipon that fell to his knees. The vest-like garment worn over his shirt buttoned up the front with elegantly embroidered silver buttonholes. The hue made his midnight eyes a shade lighter so that they were a riveting blue.
With his fine garments, along with his dark hair tied back with the leather strap and his face freshly shaven, he was less warrior today and more nobleman. Either way, I always seemed to find myself overly enamored, and I worked hard to temper my desire to stare at him.
“I’m told Izzy spent the greater part of the day with you,” he replied over his shoulder.
“Yes.” I sighed, stepping out of the tower into the long connecting hallway where his squires waited in the arched doorway that led outside. “I enjoy her company. I really do. But our interests are so diverse, and we have little in common.”
“Are you admitting you have a better time with me than Izzy?”
“I shall admit to no such thing,” I teased, “unless you take me boar hunting with you on the morrow.” He’d already warned me he would be gone all day with the hunt and that I wouldn’t see him until much later upon his return. I’d pestered him to take me along, but he’d only shaken his head in refusal.
“It’s too dangerous,” he declared.
“You have witnessed my skill,” I retorted. “You know I am unsurpassed.”
He only chuckled before giving me his usual excuse: “Boars are wild and unpredictable.”
“But I have you to keep me safe.” With him, I was completely protected. He’d rescued me from the dungeons and death. What could befall me now that was any worse?
“That’s because you have witnessed my skill,” he said in mock solemnity, “and know I’m unsurpassed.”
It was my turn to laugh. “Is there nothing I can do to persuade you to take me with you?”
He turned, cocked his head, and watched me for a minute as though contemplating my question, which I knew he wasn’t.
Nevertheless, I loved his eyes, the rich dark blue that at times could be penetrating and intense but at other times were light and playful. The slanted angle of his brows only served to draw me in further so that I was liable to drown in his eyes if he looked at me long enough.
Even though an invisible force seemed to pull us together—or at least pull me toward him—he somehow managed to maintain a proper distance during our outings. Of course, having his squires as our constant chaperones helped to keep our interactions platonic so that we’d had no opportunities to repeat the kisses we’d exchanged on our betrothal day.
I could readily admit I wanted him to kiss me again. I’d relived the two he’d given me a dozen times. And every time I did, warm pleasure whispered through me.
“Well?” I queried, my voice echoing in the empty stone passageway. “Is there nothing, then, that I may do to change your mind about the hunt?”
“There may be one thing,” he said. “But I don’t think you’ll like it.”
“What is it?”
He glanced toward his squires, still waiting for us near the doorway, and then lowered his voice. “Lord Pitt insists I have treated you like one of my knights rather than my betrothed.”
Only three days remained until our wedding, but neither of us brought up the looming deadline. In fact, we didn’t talk about the betrothal either, as if by ignoring it we could somehow forget it had happened.
But as the deadline approached, so did the conflict we’d attempted to hold at arm’s length. For all his kisses and his bluster about not wanting his freedom, he was only marrying me out of obligation. And for all my infatuation with him, I wasn’t sure I was ready to give up so easily on my father. If I willingly married Aldric, I’d forfeit my loyalty to my family. Since I’d always put my family’s needs above my own and had done everything my father asked, I wasn’t sure I could—or even wanted to—make the change.
“If you treat me like one of your knights, why should Lord Pitt care?” I asked, the light
ness I’d felt a moment ago falling away.
Aldric studied my face carefully, and I suspected he could read my every feeling and thought. “Lord Pitt believes I need to woo you more than I have.”
I wanted to ask why that would make any difference. Lord Pitt had given me little choice but to marry Aldric whether he wooed me or not. “I do not wish to be wooed.”
“I predicted as much.”
“I do appreciate your kind gestures,” I replied, not wishing him to think I was ungrateful. “But what difference will wooing make when I must marry you or face the hangman’s noose?”
Aldric’s eyes took on the haunted quality that told me he was troubled in spirit, likely thinking of the mistakes he believed were unforgivable. Was Lord Pitt orchestrating our betrothal and wedding more for Aldric than for me? Perhaps the older man, out of his fatherly affection for Aldric, was trying to help his commander recover from his past pains. Perhaps he believed if Aldric married again, the knight might finally be able to bury his grief over his previous wife.
It was a clever plot, one Aldric had tried to avoid, and likely would have continued to avoid if I hadn’t gotten caught in Lord Pitt’s treasury. Now that Aldric was trapped into our betrothal, Lord Pitt was still meddling and pushing Aldric to develop his feelings for me.
I wanted to sigh in frustration. “How does Lord Pitt wish you to woo me?”
“I am to plan a special outing.”
“An outing?”
He nodded, refusing to meet my gaze this time, which told me he was embarrassed.
“And if we both willingly subject ourselves to such an outing, will he allow me to accompany you on the boar hunt on the morrow?”
“As long as you ride with me, on my horse. Lord Pitt insists that if I take you outside castle walls, you are to be with me at all times.”
I rolled my eyes in an unladylike fashion and almost smiled at Lord Pitt’s pathetic attempts at matchmaking. “Very well, sir. I shall go on any outing you wish. And I shall ride with you on your steed for the hunt.”
His eyes widened just slightly. “I hadn’t expected such easy acquiescence, my lady.”
“Ever since you regaled me with your boar hunting escapades, I have been hoping for the opportunity to go. Thus I cannot neglect the adventure when it is within my grasp.”
His lips curled into the beginning of a smile. “Very well. Then let us be on our way to the outing.”
It was my turn to be surprised. “I thought you needed to plan it.”
“I have.”
“You planned an outing even though you knew not whether I would agree to it?”
His brows rose giving light to his eyes. “I took a chance.”
“And what would you have done had I not acquiesced so easily?”
“Persuaded you.” His voice dropped low. His gaze dropped as well, landing upon my lips and revealing how he’d planned to persuade me.
My pulse began to thrum. Had he resigned himself to our impending marriage? Was he finally ready to lay his past to rest? Perhaps Lord Pitt’s unconventional methods had some merit after all.
I dragged in a breath, attempting to make my lungs work. “You have no need to persuade me. You are fortunate.”
“Or unfortunate.” He tore his sights away from me. “Shall we go then, my lady?”
“Lead the way, noble sir.” I made my voice light so he wouldn’t know just how much his suggestion affected me, how much I liked him, and how much I was looking forward to our time together.
Within the hour, we were on our way with the accompaniment of a small regiment of Aldric’s men. I rode in front of him, squeezed into his saddle, his chest against my back, his hand lightly bracing my waist.
I hadn’t complained. Secretly, I’d been pleased to be within the confines of his arms. I hadn’t even minded the scarf he’d tied over my eyes in his attempt to surprise me with the outing.
We’d ridden only a short distance when he slowed his mount.
My fingers rose to the blindfold, but his hand caught mine, preventing me from adjusting the scarf.
“No peeking,” he whispered near my ear, which made my insides flip upside down.
“You are cruel, sir,” I responded playfully.
His laughter rumbled against me. And as he lowered my hand, he intertwined his fingers through mine even as he directed his mount to continue on.
As we rode, I was conscious of nothing else but his hand against mine, his strong hold that was still infinitely gentle. Being with him and holding his hand was a special enough outing. I needed no more wooing than that.
Yet, he stopped again soon enough and released my hand to dismount. “Here we are, my lady.” He lifted me down before steering me over uneven ground. A short distance away, came the rushing of water, and I guessed we were at some sort of river.
“Will you allow me to see now?” I asked. “Or am I to spend our entire outing blindfolded?”
“Perhaps I shall leave you blindfolded,” he retorted. “Then I may do with you as I please.”
“You should know I am not so easily controlled.”
His fingers connected with the knot at the back of my head. “You have already taught me that lesson well enough.”
I smiled, sure he was remembering all of my attempts at escape during our ride to Tolleymuth. I no longer had any desire to escape this man, and I was quite sure he knew it.
As he loosened the knot, he brushed aside the pretty but sheer veil that covered my elegantly coiled hair. Without the veil, my neck was exposed. I waited breathlessly for his fingers to make contact, for him to graze my skin.
But he finished tugging the scarf loose and made no move to skim my neck.
“Are you ready, my lady?” he asked.
I nodded.
He allowed the scarf to slip away, and I found myself gazing upon the most beautiful scene I’d ever witnessed. Directly ahead, a waterfall cascaded down a hillside and crashed into a rocky river, spraying up with a foamy mist. The thick woodland surrounded the river making it a lush paradise, the summer green of the foliage all the brighter in the glistening drops from the waterfall.
On the riverbank stood a table with two chairs. The table was decorated with a shimmering white tablecloth, silver goblets and plates, along with a crystal vase filled with a vibrant arrangement of wildflowers. Several platters of food were spread, each one heaped with enticing delicacies.
I could only stand speechless at the beauty of the scene.
Aldric stood at my side, taking in my reaction. “Does it sufficiently woo you, my lady?” he finally asked, his tone filled with humor.
“It is a start.”
“Just a start?”
I strolled toward the table, attempting to control my wildly thumping heartbeat. The moment was magical. It was more than I ever could have imagined. And it swept me completely off my feet. But I didn’t want Aldric to know he could so easily win me over.
He reached the table ahead of me and pulled out my chair with a flourish, helping to seat me before he took the place across the table.
His squires and whatever servants had prepared the table and meal kept a discreet distance away, making me feel as though we were alone in the beautiful wilderness. With the roar of the waterfall as the accompaniment, I could ask for no sweeter music.
Likewise, I could ask for no better company. Aldric conversed easily and engaged me with his wit and knowledge. We lingered over the meal long after we’d finished, the backdrop of the waterfall never ceasing to take my breath away.
With a glance at the sky overhead, Aldric stood and held out his hand to me. “I would make the summer’s eve stand still longer if I could, my lady. But since I have no power over the skies, I must finish wooing you before darkness falls.”
I smiled and took his outstretched hand. “Finish wooing?”
His dark eyes lit. “Yes, you didn’t think this was all I’d planned, did you?”
As I stood, his fingers encircled mine. Wh
en I politely began to pull away, he drew my hand deeper into his, lacing his fingers through mine as he had earlier during the ride. As before, the contact affected me more than I wanted him to know. I couldn’t deny the threads of warmth that spread up my arm and twined through my heart.
I realized, then, this connection with him would be difficult to cut loose, that his presence was weaving into the tapestry of my life, and that I had no wish to untangle the woven strands any more than I wished to release his hold on my hand.
He guided me through the woodland along the riverbank, seeming to follow an invisible path, one he’d apparently traversed many times in the past. I wasn’t sure where he was leading, but I trusted him—more than anyone else I’d known. That thought surprised me, though it shouldn’t have. In the weeks I’d known Aldric, he’d proven himself to be a man of great character, one I could trust with my life.
If I could trust him with my very life, could I not also trust him with the mission my father had given me to find the Holy Chalice? Once I explained how sick Charles was and how desperately he needed a miracle, Aldric would forgive me for causing him so much trouble.
“Aldric,” I said, tugging him to a stop, knowing I needed to make my confession before I lost the will.
He halted and pivoted. His eyes rounded with something akin to surprise. It took me a minute to realize I’d addressed him by his given name. I wasn’t sure if he would accept such intimacy, and I knew I should apologize.
“Yes, Olivia?” he said before I could say more.
At the sound of my given name on his lips, I smiled.
He returned my smile with a beautiful one of his own, one that told me he accepted this new level of friendship in our relationship.
“I would share the truth with you about my crime if you would hear it.”
His smile slipped away. Perhaps I shouldn’t have brought it up. After all, I didn’t want to ruin this lovely evening he’d gone to so much effort to make perfect.