by Lila Rose
“That’s it, fuck yeah,” he said into my ear, where he bit the lobe next, pulling another orgasm from my body.
“Shit, yes, yes, your walls are clamping around me, baby. Fuck, I’m gonna come. You’re making me come, sugar. Yeahhhh,” he groaned.
We both breathed hard as we came back down to Earth. Blue moaned as he flopped off my back and onto the bed beside me. “Damn, woman,” he sighed.
Giggling, I rolled into him and put my head on his chest, feeling some of his seed slip from my body. “Is it time to talk now?” I asked.
He burst out laughing. “Shit. Give me a while, and then we’ll talk.”
“Okay.” I yawned and snuggled in deeper to him.
I was more than content to do just that. My sister was locked away; her friends were, as well. I was safe and in the arms of the man I loved. Talking can definitely wait, I thought as I drifted off to sleep.
A knock drifted into my sleepy daze, and the bed shifted as Blue climbed out. I hoped he’d think to put some clothes on first, but I was too sleepy to say anything.
The door swished open, and then I heard a gasp. “Oh, um, you, uh…” I stifled my giggle; I had never heard Julian stutter before.
“Hey,” Blue growled. “Eyes up here, man.”
“Well now, what do you expect when you flaunt it in front of me? It’s like dangling a…oops.” He laughed.
“Julian,” he snapped. “Dammit, man, eyes to my face, for fuck’s sake, and tell me what you’re doing here.”
“Do you know how hard that is?” He burst out laughing again and gasped for breath. I hid under the blankets and laughed quietly. “I don’t mean you; you’re not hard…well, not that I know of. If you just removed your hand—”
“Julian,” Blue barked.
“Right, right. I came to see how my buttercup was. But obviously, you’ve taken good care of her.” Blue grunted. “Did you tell her what happened?” he asked in a whisper. However, it was Julian, and he loved to be loud, so his whisper was not exactly a whisper.
The room was silent for a second, and then Blue said, “No, not yet.”
“Maybe give her the bad news first…you know…bang, and then tell her the good news. Do you want me to stay?”
Bad news?
“Nah, man, it’s cool. I’ll sort it all out. How you doin’ anyway?”
Clothes were shifted; I think Julian shrugged. Why would Blue be asking him how he was doing?
“M’kay, I guess…do you…do you think she’ll hate me?” My heart actually felt like it was shattering at hearing Julian speak so sadly. How could he ever think I’d hate him? He helped save me. He had been there for me right at the start. He helped show me there was light in life.
“No, Julian. I’m sure if you explained what set you off and that you wanted to protect her, she’ll get it.”
“Thanks, Blue,” Julian said with a smile in his voice, and then he added, “You know, I could stay and keep you entertained until she wakes.”
“Jesus Christ, you just don’t stop. How does Mattie handle you?”
“Oh, he knows what a flirt I am. It’s harmless, though. I just love seeing the reactions. It’s priceless. However, my Mattie also knows how to keep me satisfied in bed. Why, just this morning—”
“Fuck. Goodbye, Julian!” Blue yelled and slammed the door.
I flipped the sheet back with a smile on my face as I knew Blue would be turning to face the bed.
“You heard all that?”
“Yes. Were you really standing there with nothing but your hand covering your…bit?”
His footsteps approached, and then his weight was on top of me. My legs spread to accommodate him, and he thrust forward, his hard cock sliding against my folds and clit.
“I take that as a yes,” I laughed. “Julian would have loved the show. I just know I’ll be hearing about it later.”
Blue growled low. “That guy…sometimes I just don’t know how to take him. But I do know he would do anything to take care of my woman, so I guess he’s all right in my eyes.”
My smiled faded. “Blue, what did he mean? Why would he think I could hate him?”
“Shit, I was hoping for a little play before we got serious. Do you wanna get dressed before we talk?”
“No.”
“Okay, sugar.” He climbed off to sit next to me. Blue dragged my body up with the sheet wrapped around me and placed me in his lap. His arms wound around my waist.
“I’ve got two things to tell you, and those two things will blow your mind, baby. So be prepared, okay?”
With the serious tone in his voice, I didn’t think I could get prepared. I knew what he was about to say was going to change things; I just didn’t know how. Still, I said, “Yes, Blue.”
“Hell, there ain’t no easy way to bring you in slow, so I’m just gonna say it.” When I nodded, he took a deep breath and said, “When I went into Vi’s office, I found Deanna and Julian already in there. They wanted a word with your sister, and because I can be an arse, and for what she had done to my woman, I allowed them to come back, because I thought Hell Mouth would give Amy a piece of her mind. She did…but it wasn’t her who shocked the shit out of me.”
“Who did?”
“Wildcat came down to tell us about you havin’ a doctor’s appointment comin’ up soon.” I nodded, and he continued, “Right, well, when your sister said some shit, people started to lose it.”
“What did she say?”
“We’ll get to that in a second. Clary, baby, you have touched so many hearts in such a fuckin’ small amount of time, and because you have, we all saw red. I was about to rip through her when Wildcat started slapping her and yellin’ at her, tellin’ her she never deserved you as a sister. It was fuckin’ beautiful. I have never in the years I’ve known Zara seen her go off like that. She was all momma-bear-protective.”
Oh…wow. Was it bad I liked Zara beating on my sister for my sake? I felt terrible for not hating the thought…but I didn’t. If anything, it warmed me. Did that make me a bad human being?
“You okay so far, Clary? We are talking about your sister here.”
“I know, babe. But…she was never a good sister, Blue. She was going to sell me,” I whispered into the room.
My sister was going to sell me.
That was something I would never get over.
“Good, I’m glad you said that. Because I think that, plus the shit your sister said in that room, set something off in Julian, and it was bad, baby. He lost it, and for a while, we couldn’t get him back. But, Clary…when he lost it, he took my gun from my holster and shot your sister in the shin.”
My breath left my body so suddenly I coughed to try and get some air back in. Blue sat me up straight and rubbed my back. “Clary, baby, are you okay?”
“I-I…” I put my hand up for a moment, indicating he needed to wait while I composed myself. In that time, thoughts ran wild in my mind.
Julian…sweet, caring Julian shot my sister in the shin.
He picked up a gun and shot my sister.
Oh, God, I hope he’s okay.
What on Earth could have been going through his mind at the time? It would have to have been big for that to happen. I couldn’t even imagine Julian holding a gun, let alone shooting it. I needed to see him, talk to him.
My eyes widened when I came to one conclusion.
I hadn’t even been worried what sort of pain my sister was in, or even if she was okay. All my thoughts were on Julian.
And that said a lot to me.
It was terrible to say, but if she’d been shot dead, I think I would have had a different reaction. Then again, after finding out what she had done to me, what she was behind, even our parents’ death, the love I had for my sibling seemed to have disappeared.
I have never known a human being to be so horrid.
Only now I did, and it was my own sister.
“Sugar?”
Turning toward him, I said, “I’m okay.”
His body jolted, like I had shocked him. “Are you sure?”
“Yes. I’ll have a talk with Julian.”
“Baby?”
“I need him to know I don’t care what he did. I know in a way he did it for me, and in a way, for whatever reason, he did it for himself. But shooting someone can cause a lot of trauma. I need to see if he’s okay and tell him I could never hate such a wonderful man.”
Suddenly, I was brought tightly to Blue’s chest. “Goddamn, you are fuckin’ perfect. I was so scared, baby, so scared you would run to her side to see if she was okay, and then somehow she’d manipulate you into staying away from us…from me. But I can see now you see your bitch of a sister for what she truly is.”
I nodded against his chest. “A horrid piece of work. Someone I no longer want in my life. Someone I never want to see or talk to again.” I pulled back so he could see my face. “I need to move forward now. I need to get my life back on track and learn how to live with this disability on my own. Not that I don’t want you around, but—”
Blue’s hand fell over my mouth.
My eyes narrowed up at him. What was he doing?
“There’s something else I need to tell you.” He removed his hand and wrapped me up in his arms once again. “You know how I told you something your sister said set Zara off?”
“Of course.”
“Well, fuck, baby, she set you up right at the start.”
“What do you mean?” I questioned. My body knew I wasn’t going to like what Blue was about to say; my heart beat faster and my body shivered. I bit my bottom lip and waited for his answer.
“Clary, she took you out of the hospital because she overheard a doctor saying you would be able to have your sight back if you got a heap of rest and an operation.”
“No,” I hissed.
“Yeah, sugar,” he said and ran his hand up and down my arm. “The doctor you were seeing was a fake, one of her fella’s men. Baby, we’ll get you to a real one. We’ll sort this out, and then…then you’ll be able to see again.”
A sob tore through me. My hands went over my face as tears poured out and cries wrecked my body.
“Fuck, Clary?”
She lied to me. That whole time. Five fucking years, I’d been blind and didn’t have to be. Five fucking years of Hell, living with her. Five fucking years of my life, wasted, because of her.
Five years.
Oh, God.
Wiping my hands over my face, I moved from Blue’s hold and climbed off the bed, holding the sheet to my body.
“Clary, baby?”
“Blue,” I choked out. My hands went around my waist. I didn’t know what to do, what to think or even how to think.
Five years.
“Hell, baby,” Blue said softly, and I felt him stand behind me. He turned me, and I buried my face against his bare shoulder. I had forgotten he was naked.
“I’ll be able to see,” I mumbled against him.
“Yeah, sugar,” he replied with a smile.
“I’ll be able to look at you, see you, babe.”
He chuckled. “You may not like what you see.”
Pulling my head back, I frowned up at him. “It has never mattered to me what you look like, Blue. Never. What matters is the way you’ve been with me. Since my parents passed, I have never felt warmth. I have never felt wanted and I’ve never felt safe. Not until you. No matter what, Blue, I’ll always want you, because you have been my everything since the first time I sensed you in that café.”
“Christ, sugar,” he growled and rested his forehead against mine. “You’re also my everything. It may have taken me a while to see it, because at first, I thought you were playing me. But when I did, that first night I held you in my arms in this bed, my eyes opened wide and took it all in. Now you’re the light in my heart which guides me to wherever you are.”
My heart melted. Never had I ever heard such sweet words.
“Tell me I can fuck you now,” Blue said in a low, seductive tone.
“Soon—”
“Clary,” he warned. “I need to have you.”
“And you will, soon. I need to talk to Julian first.”
“Christ, I better get some clothes on for that.”
After we were dressed, Blue walked with me from the compound and across the road to Mattie and Julian’s house. He knocked on the door, and within a second, it opened.
“I hoped you would come tonight,” Mattie said. “He’s been really worried about you, Clary.”
I nodded. “He won’t have to now. Can I talk to him for a bit?” Blue, with a hand on my lower back, guided me up the last step. I heard the door close behind us and felt Mattie at my other side.
“Honey, I hope you don’t mind me saying, but I’ve got to know, for my guy’s sake. Are you going to go easy on him? He regrets what he did, honey, but he’s concerned he ruined any type of relationship you both had. If you’re here to tell him that…I can’t have it. I need to protect him in every way I can.”
Reaching out to take hold of his hand on my arm, I said, “You don’t need to worry; I’m here to ease any unwelcome thoughts he has. There is no way I could ever hate your man. He means too much to me.”
“Jesus, thank you,” he uttered, and then hugged me tight. “I’ll go get him. Blue can take you into the kitchen, and we’ll be in there in a second.”
“Thanks.” I smiled.
I sat in a kitchen chair, Blue standing close at my back. His hand was on my shoulder, gently rubbing his thumb over my collarbone.
“You get this done real quick, sugar.”
Snorting, I said, “Blue.”
“No. Real quick,” he growled.
“We’ll see.”
Footsteps approached. From the smell, Julian and his citrus scent walked into the kitchen first, and then Mattie, with his ocean-scented body.
“B-buttercup?”
My lips trembled; he sounded so troubled. “Julian,” I whispered and held out my arms. His quick steps approached, and he was on his knees in front of me with his arms around my waist. I leaned over him and hugged his back, sliding one hand up and down. “Everything is fine,” I whispered as tears filled my eyes. “Nothing you could do can stop me from caring about you. Nothing.”
He nodded into my lap. My jeans felt wet, and that was how I knew he was crying silently in my arms.
Sniffling, I asked the others, “Give us a minute?” Blue leaned over and kissed my neck, and then I heard him walk out of the room with Mattie. As Julian cried, I told him, “After what Blue told me this afternoon, I never thought I could hate a person so much. But I do. My own sister took away five years of my life. The only enjoyment I got from it was when I went to the library and this guy came up to annoy me. Though, he annoyed me in a way, I learned later, also touched my heart. He touched it in a way which made an imprint. He touched it in a way which had me wishing I was a part of his family, instead of my own. Julian, you are important to me, so no matter what I can forgive and forget what you did, because you did it to protect me, and that means so much to me.” I stopped, licked my lips and then said, “But, honey, from what I was told, there was something else at play in that room, and I want you to know I’m here for you if you ever need to talk. I’m here to protect you, too, in any way I can, like you have for me. I’m here for you…always.”
That was when I found out Julian, the one man who I’d never expect to have a story which was so scary and sad, did. He filled me in on a part of his life which could have cracked any man under all the pressure, especially after what he went through. But then he told me about what brought him through it all—Mattie. Like Julian had been there for me at the library, Mattie had been there for Julian, and it made me love Mattie all that much more, because if it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t have had my safe haven in the worst five years of my life.
Blue had been my everything.
But Julian had also been there along with him.
My world, my li
fe had changed for the better, because of those two people, so I knew I would do anything for them both.
It was after I had finished a cup of coffee Julian had made when the front door banged open. “Girls’ night, get the fuck out!” Deanna yelled. She stomped through the house, heading toward the kitchen.
“Ah, hell no. I’m taking my woman back to the compound,” Blue said on a growl, his heavy footsteps following Deanna’s.
“Get stuffed. I was told a girls’ night may be needed, so I’m here. Hey, arse-face, and…um, Clary,” Deanna said as she came to a stop somewhere near the kitchen door. Her blurred outline showed she was just inside the doorway. There was another behind her, so it was hard to tell.
“Sugar, let’s go,” Blue hissed.
“She ain’t leaving, Mr…”
“Skies,” I supplied.
“Fuck,” Blue uttered.
The room was silent for a second, and then giggles from Julian and loud laughter from Deanna broke through. “Oh, my God, your last name is Skies?” Deanna teased and then laughed again.
Whoops. I guess no one knew.
“Deanna Drake. Next time, don’t leave all the carrying to just us,” Zara’s pissed voice sounded from the front room.
“Us? Who in the fuck is us?” Blue snapped. “Oh, Christ, no. My woman is not drinking that shit, and she sure as shit ain’t drinking with you lot. That’s when trouble starts.”
“Come on, Blue. I’m new to the group, so I can promise to keep them under control,” Ivy’s sweet, light voice said from the living room.
I had to laugh. My poor man and I were expecting to have a quiet night together. It was already night anyway; I’d asked Blue on our way over. Earlier, we had slept for two hours, so it would have to be about nine pm when Deanna charged through the door.
“Sugar, up now. We’re going.”
“Blue.”
“No, no fuckin’ way.”
“Listen here, hard arse,” Deanna started. “If you can answer one question with the right answer, you can take your woman and root like rabbits all night long.”
“Fine,” he hissed through clenched teeth.
“Has Clary in any way, shape or form totally lost it about everything that has happened?”