by Mia Ford
“So, are you ready to go?” she asks me, nerves tinging her voice. “Jordan is waiting for you.”
“I think so.” I suck in a couple of deep, calming breaths. “I think I am. I’m just a bit freaked out.”
She rubs my arm gently. “You don’t need to worry about it. You’re going to be fine. It’ll be awesome. And don’t forget you have the most amazing man in the world on the other end of the aisle. He loves you.”
I do think about Jordan and it makes me smile. Thank God it’s him waiting for me because anyone else wouldn’t evoke enough emotions for me to go through with this. There aren’t even many people here, we kept to our word and kept our wedding small, but still, I’m anxious. I don’t even know what I’m frightened of.
“Okay, let’s go.” I nod and let Rachel take my arm. “I’m ready to go, let’s do this already.”
“Just don’t let your water’s break as we walk down the aisle. That’s the one thing.”
“No,” I pant back. “You don’t need to worry about that. I still have a couple of weeks left. It’ll be fine.”
Rachel takes me down the stairs towards the hotel room where our wedding is waiting for me. The closer I get, the more anxious I become. I even have to use some of the breathing techniques I learned about in antenatal classes just to keep me calm. I can’t help it, this is a huge thing for me. It’s really emotional.
Just remember this might not have happened, I remind myself, just to give me something else to focus on. I could have been killed way back when. I might not be here on my wedding day with a baby in my belly.
That, just like every other time I have a negative emotion, helps me to feel better. The reminder that I could still be in that dusty, horrible cell keeps me going, even during the most challenging time. That goes even more for today. I need that reminder so I’ll appreciate every single moment of it.
“Here we are.” I can hear the music blasting from the other side of the door. “Are you ready?”
I nod and close the gap between me and the door, knowing that I’ll talk myself out of it if I don’t go now. The nerves will get the better of me and I’ll back out. My parents are in there, so are Jordan’s. Our friends too. Only the people that truly love us. It’s going to be just fine, once I get in there, I’m sure I’ll love it.
With Rachel not far behind me, I step into the room, allowing the magic of the room to fill me. It’s simplistic, we didn’t want anything complicated, but it’s lovely. White and silvery decorations cover the room, matching the color of my dress and the tie in Jordan’s suit. Simple, but sweet, just the way I want it to be.
I spot Jordan at the end of the aisle, looking like a dream. His face is one of pure bliss, so I get lost in that gorgeous expression for a while. It takes me a little while to appreciate just how much effort he’s put in too. He looks phenomenal. His hair is groomed, his face looks nice, his suit fits him so well. The sight of him sends a shiver up and down my spine, it reminds me of the very early days when I lusted after him desperately.
“Are you ready to walk?” Rachel murmurs at me, reminding me that there are lots of people here and this is our wedding day. Not just a moment for me to lust like a needy teenager over my almost husband.
Her reminder is enough to get me going. I glide down the aisle just like I practiced, hoping that my steps are in time with the music. I can hardly hear it because my heart thumps so loudly in my ears. Even my knees knock together as I go, but I keep on moving. Jordan’s smile lures me in and brings me to him. He’s looking at me like I’m stunning, I’m a goddess, like I’m everything to him. It makes me feel really special.
“Hi,” he mouths at me as I get nearer to him. “You look beautiful.”
“Thank you,” I mutter. I can already feel myself getting overly emotional. Tears fill my eyes. I promised myself that I wouldn’t fall apart during the ceremony. I wanted to leave it until the end, but it’s too late. I’m already getting choked up and we haven’t even said a word yet. How am I going to get through the vows?
Once I’m near enough to him, I take Jordan’s hands in mine and a sensation of being safe washes over me. I feel secure when I’m with him, more than when I’m alone, and this marriage will carry that on forever. I see the intense emotion dancing behind his eyes and that makes me well up even more. I can’t contain it, I’m about to weep. It’s silly, it makes me chuckle awkwardly, but luckily, I don’t have much time to get stuck in that.
“We are gathered here today to witness the union of Jordan Miller and Veronica Best…”
Those words tip me over the edge, I’m a bawling mess. This is just so monumental, I’m so freaking happy. Okay, so admittedly I’m probably very hormonal and emotional too, which doesn’t help. The tears only intensify the more the ceremony goes along. By the time it comes for Jordan to speak, I’m overwhelmed.
“Veronica Best, you are my world,” he says, his voice cracking with emotion too. “You have been my world for years now, but due to the things that have happened to us, that’s even more important. I’m not going to get into it, everyone here knows what we went through, I only mention it because I want to solidify my promises to you. I want to prove to you how much I mean them.” I love his smile. His dimples claim me completely. “I promise that I will love you with all of my being, every moment of every single day. I will be loyal, trustworthy, strong… everything you deserve. I will support you through the bad times, celebrate the good, be your shoulder to cry on, and the man to lift you up when you need it. But I will do the little things for you as well. I will make you breakfast in bed whenever you want it, bring you chocolate when you’re hungry, help you when you need it.” This is the moment that a tear streams down his face as well. I can’t believe this has got to him this much. “Basically, I love you. I love you more every single day and I will continue to do so. I’m looking forward to growing old and gray with you, I cannot wait to see what each and every day brings.” He rubs his hand over my stomach, causing our baby daughter to kick out her foot to touch him, bringing her into this wonderfully magical moment too. “Starting with our very first journey. Our first baby who will be here with us in the next two weeks. She’s about to be introduced into this crazy world, our world filled with so much love. She’s lucky.” He moves his eyes back up to meet mine again. “She’s lucky to have you as a mom. Just like I am to have you as a wife.”
I rapidly try to wipe my tears away as Jordan pushes the ring down onto my finger making me officially his forever and ever… finally. All the while I’m trying to work out how I’m supposed to follow that. I had vows written, I planned them weeks ago and I’ve rehearsed them ever since. But now that I’m here and it’s time to say them, my brain is blank. I can hardly remember anything. I might have to just speak from the heart instead.
“Jordan…” My voice cracks, I don’t know if I’m going to be able to say much of anything. I hope he doesn’t mind and he knows that it’s only because I’m a mess. “Jordan, I love you. You’re my hero. You always have been but of course, like you said with things that have happened, that’s become… become more…” I stumble and stammer through the sobbing. “You’re my world and I love you so much. I wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for you. I also wouldn’t want to… to go through all of this with someone else. Anyone else. I…”
Jordan forgoes all normal wedding behaviour and he pulls me in for a hug. I rest against his chest and I let the tears flow free. I think I’ve said enough now. I hope I have because I don’t think I can say any more. It’s too much, I’ve become well and truly overwhelmed, I can hardly breathe anymore, never mind anything else. I just about get the ring on Jordan’s finger too, claiming him as my own too. I feel a strong sense of relief as that happens. There’s nothing that can come between us now. We’re more solid than ever before.
“Okay, so I think it’s time to officially label you man and wife.” Even the priest sounds excited for us both. Everyone wants us to find happiness, after all, we’v
e been through. “You may now kiss the bride.”
Jordan dips me down in his arms and he presses a kiss against my lips. Our first ever kiss as man and wife, which feels phenomenal. The people around us whoop and cheer, happy for us which makes me chuckle with laughter. It’s finally happened, we’re man and wife, looking forward to the future.
“Ooh.” I suddenly get a tight twinge in my belly. I think I might have been getting these all day long but I thought they were nerves. The time for anxiety is over, so I don’t know why I still feel this way. “Oh no.”
“What is it?” As soon as my hands fly to my belly, Jordan panics. “Is everything okay?”
“I…” I want to say yes to reassure him, but I’m not convinced. “I don’t know.”
“Are you going to be able to make it to the reception? Maybe you’ll feel a little better sitting down?”
We’re having a meal in the other room, so I’m sure I’ll be fine. I nod, but as soon as I take a step to move I feel a popping sensation in my panties and a trickle of wetness flying down my legs.
“Oh no.” I shake my head rapidly. “No, my waters have just broken.”
“But…” Jordan pales. “You aren’t due for two weeks.”
“I know. That might be so.” I grip his arm tight. Probably hurting him. “But my waters have broken. I need to get to the hospital right away.” I glare at him. “We need to go. Now!”
34
Jordan
“Shit, shit, shit!” I feel in a full state of panic as I fly down the highway at a million miles an hour, trying to get Veronica to the hospital before she gives birth in the car. “Oh, come on, why is everyone in the way?”
“Will you calm down?” I can’t believe Veronica is trying to keep my head on. She should be the one losing it really. She’s about to bring an actual human into the world. “The baby isn’t coming right now.”
“I know, but didn’t they say that you can get an infection once your waters break?”
“I knew I shouldn’t have taken you to that antenatal class!” Veronica rolls her eyes and smiles. “It’s going to be fine. Let’s just get to the hospital in one piece and go from there. It’ll be fine, don’t panic about it…”
But her words are soon stripped from her body by the pain of another contraction rolling through her. I don’t know how she’s managed to get through the wedding in one piece with that much agony running through her body, but my new bride is strong. She’s survived much worse than this. She might have called me her hero in her vows, but she’s the real hero. The person who will get me through anything in life. I’m fine, with her.
“I don’t want to ruin my wedding dress,” she huffs through the pain. “It’s just so lovely.”
“Why? You aren’t planning to wear it again, are you?” I can’t resist teasing her. “For wedding number two?”
“Oh yeah, for sure. I’m hoping to be fully pregnant with my next husband too because that’s worked out so well!” She teases me right back. “I can’t believe we’re the only ones not at our wedding reception.”
“I honestly wouldn’t expect anything else from us. We just can’t seem to do anything right.”
Veronica places her hand over mine and smiles at me during a moment where she’s getting a break from the pain and as she does the fact that she’s my wife washes through me. We’ve always been a team, but now it’s official and I can feel that shift. Veronica was right, it is better that we got married before she gave birth. It just feels better somehow. And it’ll be nice for all of us to share the same surname right from the start.
Finally, after what feels like forever, I pull up into the hospital car park as near to the door as I can manage and I guide Veronica out. When the pain rackets through her, she can hardly stand, but I’m there to keep her upright. It’s a good job we’re here now because I have a feeling that we’re just in time. I think once we get through those doors and into a room, it’ll be go time. Two weeks early but wanted desperately. Our baby girl.
“Let’s do this,” I say reassuringly to Veronica. “I love you so much. This is going to be amazing.”
“Argh, just get me inside already! I feel like my whole body is falling apart!”
Okay, so I guess this isn’t the time for big romantic statements. Never mind, we have all the time in the world for that…
***
I collapse into a chair, exhausted, emotional, and utterly overwhelmed. Who would have thought that Veronica giving birth would be so draining for me too? I’m covered in a sheen of sweat, my whole-body aches, and my head thumps. But, we have the most beautiful baby girl in the whole world, so it’s been worth it.
“Oh, look at her.” Veronica, who still manages to look stunning even after she’s just given birth. Her strength simply shines through, she’s proven what a phenomenal woman that she is all over again. I admire her so much. “She’s such a little sweetheart, isn’t she? I just love her so much already. Like, it’s a different kind of love, isn’t it? It’s so deep. It’s like, boundless. I love her more than anything else in the world. She’s everything.”
“Hey! You’re supposed to love me like that on our wedding day,” I shoot back playfully. “But I know what you mean. That girl is just my entire world already. I would do anything for her. She’s not even an hour old and I already know that she’s got me wrapped around her little finger. I love her, she’s incredible.”
She looks a lot like Veronica, but with my dark hair and green eye color. The nurse said that might change over time, but I hope it doesn’t. Right now, she’s perfection. I don’t want anything about my daughter to be any different. I haven’t ever looked at another person and known that they’re flawless, but my baby girl is.
She came quick, it didn’t take long for labour to be over once we got into the hospital, just like I predicted. Maybe if Veronica had said something earlier then we would have been here in plenty of time, but it hardly matters now. She got into the bed and her labour kicked in. Now, it’s all over, like it was a blur. I don’t even know how much of this day I’ll be able to remember, but I hope it’s all of it. It’s been the most monumental day of my entire life. I gained a wife and a baby daughter. How many people can say that they’ve done that much today?
“When will I get to hold her again?” I complain. “I miss my baby already.”
“I suppose we need to come up with a name first,” she replies, completely and pointedly ignoring my question. We’re both obsessed with that little girl, I don’t think she’ll be put down very much as we both fight over who’s going to hug her next. “We never did agree on any, did we? I don’t want to just call her ‘baby’.”
I rub my eyes, remembering the endless conversations that we had about this. “What was the short list?”
“Erm, I think we decided on Ruby, Serena, or Lisa. But now I don’t know if any of them suit her.”
“Hmm.” I have to say, I agree. “Yeah, I know what you mean. Have you got something else up your sleeve?”
“I do.” Veronica bites down on her bottom lip. “But I don’t know if you’re going to like it. It’s a bit out there… I just keep looking at her gorgeous little face and I think it suits her. But maybe it’s baby brain.”
I sit up straighter and stare right at her. Veronica and her baby brain has been amusing us both over the last few weeks. The more pregnant she’s become, the worse she’s gotten. Forgetting things, losing everything, making terrible decisions and thinking it’s the right thing to do… I’ve had to step in a lot to stop the wedding from going nuts, but I’m sure now she has something good for us. I can see it in the twinkle in her eyes.
“Hit me,” I say with a smile. “If it’s crazy, I’ll tell you right away. You know I will.”
At first, I struggled to tell her if she acted nuts because I thought her hormones might make her kill me, but it soon became clear that she wanted to know, and since this is our daughter’s name and something which will be with her for life. I’m willing
to take the risk. Even if I’m a tiny bit afraid of her tearing my head off.
“Zaalia. And before you say anything, just think about it and look at her. Just really think about it.”
I push myself back into a standing position, working through the tiredness and I glance down at my baby. Immediately, the name feels right. I can see her being called that forever. It’s cute, it’s unique, it’s spunky too. I think considering this little girl is a combination of the two of us, she will be that! Fiery and fun.
“I love it,” I tell Veronica happily. “I think you’re right. It does suit her. Zaalia. I love it.”
“Are you sure?” Veronica’s eyes dance and dart with excitement. “You don’t have to agree if you…”
“I’m sure,” I jump in. “I’m really sure. I love it. Zaalia. It’s amazing.” I lean down and kiss them both. I kiss Zaalia on the top of her head because I don’t want to wake her up, then I kiss my new wife on the lips, a little groan flying past my lips as I do. “Zaalia Miller and Mrs. Miller. How did this day get so wild?”
“Oh yeah, I nearly forgot that we’re married! I suppose we won’t be able to forget our anniversary.”
“Yeah. I’m sure our baby girl will love that. Us ruining her birthday with our anniversary every year.”
“To be fair, she did ruin our wedding,” she replies with a shrug. “So, she can’t complain too much.”
I laugh loudly and nod. “Yeah, you’re right. Stuff her, she did destroy our wedding day. I’m going to remind her of that every single birthday. I’ll tell her this tale at all her celebrations. She’ll love it, I’m sure…”
There’s a knocking sound at our door which makes me spin quickly. I expect it to be a nurse coming in to check on us, but to my surprise I see Rachel giving me a guilty look. Shock floods me,