by Mia Ford
She sat up and looked around as I rubbed her leg and waited for her to realize where she was. She turned to me and immediately burst into tears, laying her head on my shoulder as she sobbed. I rubbed her back and felt her heart, which was racing a million miles an hour.
“I’m so sorry,” she cried. “I got you involved with something that I don’t even understand how I’m involved in. My father, he just couldn’t stop gambling, and now, I have to pay the price. I never wanted you to have to feel that way, too.”
I gripped onto her tighter, trying to calm her nerves. She leaned into me and grasped her hands against her chest as I shushed her to a silent whimper. She was so upset, and I couldn’t believe that I had questioned her for even a second. She hadn’t asked for any of this to happen, but there she was, taking the brunt of everyone else’s issues. And at the end of the day, she was still only worried about the people around her, not herself. It was very telling that she was so kind and empathetic, even in times of stress. The real culprit here was her bastard of a father who couldn’t keep himself from gambling. The idiot had taken too much money from the mob and had no way to pay it back. So, what do they do? The normal thing that any mob does. They get what they are owed. This time, they weren’t after the money, but instead, planned to exploit Josie and put her in prison for the rest of her life. If her father had just come forward and been responsible for once, she would not be in this mess, and the police and FBI could have helped keep them safe. It was a huge mess.
There was no way that I could hold Josie responsible for what was going on. She had been put into a position, and she’d done what she knew best. She couldn’t sit there and let her father be alone, so as a young teenager, she decided that she would take on the responsibility of taking care of him. Ever since then, she had been living her life for her father, while he lived his life for the poker table. Now, he had really gone and done it, getting in so deep that both of them had the chance of having their lives ripped away from them. I knew the mob, I knew how they did things, and once Josie was tucked away in prison, they would off her dad anyway, not wanting to leave any loose ends behind. He was a walking dead man, but instead of coming and saving his daughter, he ran, and probably straight into Paulie’s trap.
I knew from the first moment I laid eyes on Josie that she was special. By the time the first night was over, I was hooked, unable to get her out of my mind. She had broken every single one of my walls down, and she didn’t even have to try. I loved her very much. I loved her before I even knew that I did, and although it used to scare me to death, it was what drove me to do better, be better, and create a beautiful life for the both of us. Nothing was going to stand in the way of that love, not the mob, not her father, and definitely not some bogus charge that had found its way to Josie’s doorstep. My father told me that I would fall in love one day, and it wouldn’t be simple. That love never was.
Well, he was absolutely right. There was nothing simple about loving Josie. Our love was being tested, but I knew if I stuck in there and kept pushing, our relationship and bond would grow in strength. My mother had always said that she loved my father from the first moment, but she didn’t really feel like they were unbreakable until they held hands and walked through the tough times together. I knew that was going to be true for Josie and me. It just had to be. There was a reason that the universe led me to this woman, that it broke my walls down and made me fall in love so quickly. She needed me as much as I needed her, and I had made a commitment to her well-being. When all of this was over, we would finally be able to enjoy each other the way it should be. Everything in our lives had been challenged. Beyond her father possibly losing his life, Josie had the most to lose. I would be fine, but she was facing life in prison, and possibly even a death sentence. Our love was the only thing holding us together, even if it was by threads at this point.
When Josie calmed down, she laid back down on the pillow and fell asleep pretty quickly. I sat there thinking about a way to get her out of this whole mess. Nothing about this situation was easy, and everywhere I turned, there was some sort of roadblock. I let out a deep breath once she was good and asleep and crept back out of the room. I walked over to the window and watched as the sun started to peek through the clouds. Florida never stayed cloudy, and I was happy to see the light beaming down on the rolling waves. My mind continued to work through the problems, not finding an easy solution to what we were facing. I walked back over to the table and sat down, opening up the file and going over every detail again, thinking maybe I had missed something.
I knew that she couldn’t go to the police. It would only put her in more danger at that moment. The police were already pushing her away, anyway, not wanting to hear anything she had to say. They had dubbed her a murderer, and there was no changing their minds. If I found something that would get her off, there was still the danger of the mob looming over our heads. They didn’t waste any time, and I would be surprised if she made it out of the courthouse alive. It sounded like some dramatic movie, but I didn’t put anything past these guys. In reality, if I let her take a guilty plea to make the mob happy, she would be locked up in prison for the rest of her life. If she took a plea bargain, she would still end up in prison, and there was no guarantee that the mob wouldn’t come after her when she got out. On top of all of that, she was facing an uncertain future behind bars. That was a tough life, and my delicate angel would never make it behind those bars.
Whichever way I looked, it seemed like I was in a pickle. There was no easy answer in any of this. Every single solution led to possibly having Josie killed, whether it was by the mob, or while she was locked up in prison. Of course, I was afraid to lose her, but that had to be the last thing on my mind. My selfishness wanted to keep her close, but that didn’t mean it was the right answer, either. She was going to have to make some decisions and have the tough conversation, something that I had been completely terrified of doing. I didn’t want her to think we had given up. I would never give up. Even if something were to happen to Josie, I would spend my life proving her innocence. She really had two choices, and both of them had less than happy endings. It seemed like no matter which way I looked, we were fucked, and I couldn’t let that happen to the love of my life.
26
Josie
When I finally woke up, I felt worse than before. The nightmares had really taken a toll on me, and I couldn’t get my mind right. I dreamed the same thing over and over again. My father was dead, and the mob was coming after me. I would step backward off the pier and just fall endlessly until I woke up. I went through that over and over again until finally I had enough and pulled myself from the bed. My stomach growled, and I remembered that I hadn’t had anything to eat in a couple of days. I was so exhausted before and worried about my father that I couldn’t seem to find my appetite. I needed to do something that made me feel normal.
I walked out into the main area and kissed Blaine on the top of the head as he finished up a phone call. I went through the cabinets, trying to find something to cook. Eventually, I landed on steaks, mashed potatoes, and fresh green beans. I liked this housekeeper. She had good taste in food. Without even a thought, I went to work cooking us a good meal. I knew if I didn’t, Blaine would order takeout, and I really didn’t want him to leave the house right then. Besides, there was nothing more comforting than a homecooked meal, and I didn’t know how many of them I had left to enjoy.
As I cooked, Blaine walked over, putting his cell phone in his pocket and kissing me on the forehead. I watched as he made himself a drink and walked into the living room to stare out of the floor to ceiling windows facing the beach. For a moment, everything seemed absolutely perfect and almost like a dream. I could almost believe that I belonged here in this big kitchen, cooking dinner for my man, and getting to sleep in the same bed with him every night. There was something calming about it all. It had actually been the first normal moment I had experienced since everything went down. I could remember what I was
thinking when I was cooking last, making a pot roast for my father and preparing to tell him things needed to change. Even then, life was stressful, but at least I had my father around and I knew he was safe. I swirled the chopped potatoes around in the water and sighed. It really did feel like I belonged in Blaine’s home with him by my side. Well, if it weren’t for thoughts of the mob floating in my head, it would feel normal.
I pushed the thoughts from my mind and put the steaks in the pan, listening to them sizzle. I watched as the outside turned dark and then flipped them, not wanting to burn them. It wasn’t often that I got to cook steaks like these, and I wasn’t totally confident about how to do it. I grabbed the thermometer from a nearby drawer and stuck it into the center, deciding to cook it just a bit more. When they were done, I pulled the plates down from the cabinet and then began mashing the potatoes and pulling the green beans onto the plates. The dinner smelled delicious, and I was pretty proud of my accomplishment. Now it was time to get the opinion of the foodie in the house, Blaine.
I sat the plates down on the table and waved at Blaine to come eat. He smiled as he stood up and walked over, a visible worry hidden under his forced smile. I grabbed a bottle of red wine from the small wine cooler and opened it, pouring us both a glass before sitting down. I placed my napkin in my lap and waited for Blaine to cut into his steak. The color looked good, so I knew I could give myself at least one pat on the back. He put it in his mouth and chewed, his face staying in the same position. Suddenly, he wrinkled his nose and looked up at me, frozen.
“Just kidding,” he said, laughing. “It’s delicious, thank you.”
“No, thank you,” I said. “Your housekeeper can come do my grocery shopping anytime.”
As soon as I said it, the smiles slipped off both of our faces. I didn’t even think about the fact that I might not ever be able to do the grocery shopping ever again. Suddenly, my phone went off, shaking us both from our thoughts. I pushed the chair out and jogged over, not recognizing the number.
“Hello?” I answered.
“Yes, this is the West Palm police department,” a man said, his voice somber. “I’m looking for Josephine Gray.”
Instantly, I could feel the color drain from my face. My hands started to shake, and my eyes filled with tears. I knew things were too good to be true right now. They were going to tell me I had to come back in. They were going to rip me out of my life again, not even twenty-four hours after I had been released. There was no way I could go back to that cold cell. My heart was racing at a speed I knew couldn’t be healthy, and I could feel it in my veins. I took a deep breath and swallowed, knowing I was going to have to face anything that they had to throw at me.
“Hello?” the man asked.
“Yes, sorry,” I said. “How can I help you?”
“Is your father Carl Gray?”
“Yes,” I said excitedly. “Yes, that is my father. Have you found him?”
“We have,” the officer said.
“Oh, good, where is he? Can I pick him up?”
“Ma’am, I think there is a bit of a misunderstanding,” he said. “Your father has been found, but he is dead. We have him at the city morgue ready to be picked up when arrangements can be made.”
“I’m sorry, what did you say?” I didn’t think I heard them correctly.
“There was an accident,” the officer said. “Your father wrapped his car around a telephone pole.”
“There must be some mistake,” I said. “My father doesn’t have a car.”
“Yes, we are aware,” he said. “It looks as if the car was stolen from the Highland Casinos a couple of nights ago. His speed was more than three times the legal limit, and his blood-alcohol level was pretty high. I am sorry that I had to give you this news over the phone. We knew you weren’t at home with everything going on.”
“All right,” I said in a daze. “Thank you for your call.”
Before the officer could say anything else, I turned the phone off, letting it slip from my hand and bounce across the floor. I stood there for a moment as if my brain was trying to catch up with what the officer had just told me. Before I could even control it, I let out a scream and dropped to my knees on the floor. My father was dead. He was really dead after everything I had been through for so many years, trying to keep him alive.
I looked up as Blaine rounded the corner and ran into the living room, bending down and wrapping his arms around me. It was like he already knew what happened, and I couldn’t even get my mouth open enough to tell him the entire story. My heart was breaking in my chest, and I felt like the only thing keeping me in one piece were his arms. That was the only thing that seemed to ever keep me in one piece anymore, and I could tell that he knew that. He squeezed tighter as I sobbed, still unable to talk. Everything was spiraling out of control, and I was powerless to do anything about it. I could feel my heart beating wildly in my chest, and everything was getting fuzzy. I was starting to have a panic attack, something I’d only had one other time in my life, and that was when my mother left me alone with my father. I had felt helpless then but never anything as bad as this. There was a dread deep down in my stomach that I just couldn’t shake. My breathing picked up, and I felt like I couldn’t take in a deep breath of air.
My life had become so off-kilter, I couldn’t even recognize it anymore. Hell, I didn’t even recognize myself anymore. I gripped onto Blaine’s shoulder, letting the tears flow, trying to get control of myself. Everything was wrong, and none of it was my fault. Well, maybe it was. Maybe if I had forced my father into a treatment program the first time, I wouldn’t be sitting here on the floor, completely losing it. My father was dead, I was on trial for a murder I didn’t commit, and I had lost my job. What else could go wrong?
I lifted my head and looked out at the waves, and as if my thoughts had summoned bad luck, I ducked, seeing a brick flying at the window. It crashed through the glass, creating a cascade of broken shards that reflected the light of the sun peeking through the clouds. I gasped, seeing the brick bounce across the floor and into the dining room. Blaine ducked his head down over mine, and we huddled there in each other’s arms for several minutes until we knew we were safe. Slowly, I looked out of the broken window, but there was no one in sight. Whoever had thrown the brick had taken off as fast as they had arrived.
Blaine stood up and shook the glass from his hair. I did the same. Carefully, I tiptoed over to the couch and looked at the shards strewn everywhere. I walked up to the kitchen where the floor was clear and watched Blaine open up a note taped to the brick. He looked angry, and I hoped that his anger wasn’t aimed at me. I waited patiently for him to show me the note, and when he did, I gasped in shock.
“Die, Snitch,” was written across the paper in black marker.
I thought about the words for several moments, and then I realized that the mob had found me. I couldn’t believe they had tracked me down in Palm Beach, off the beaten path, at a boyfriend’s house no one even knew I had. It was absolutely insane. What was I supposed to do now? I couldn’t hide anywhere from these people. I didn’t have any protection except for Blaine, and now that I had lost my father, I knew I couldn’t lose Blaine, too. He was the only person I had left. My thoughts started racing, thinking of the dream I had, thinking of Blaine, and wondering if he was next. I put my hands up to my head and dropped the letter to the floor, trying to make my mind stop racing so fast.
I blinked my eyes, but everything around me was blurry. All I could see were fuzzy shapes of the things in front of me like a fogged-up window in a car. I reached out, trying to find something to hold onto, but there was nothing there. I knew Blaine was calling to me. I could see him, but everything was coming out in slow motion and muffled. My hands started shaking so badly that I couldn’t control it. My feet felt as if they were rising from the ground, and the floor was spinning underneath my feet. I could see Blaine step forward as I groaned. The light from the room slowly faded away and everything went dark. The
last thing I could make out was my body falling, falling like my dream, but instead of waking up, I could feel Blaine’s hands grabbing on to me. And that was it.
27
Blaine
“Josie,” I said, tapping her cheek. “Josie, wake up.”
She stirred in my arms and slowly opened her eyes. She looked up at me, blinking for several moments before coming all the way awake. She tried to sit up, but I laid her down on the floor and grabbed a wet washcloth to lay over her forehead.
“What happened?” she asked.
“You passed out,” I said. “I caught you, but you went down pretty hard. I need you to lay here for just a few minutes while I take care of some things.”
I walked over to the living room, the glass crunching under my shoes. I stood there for several moments, just glaring out over the ocean. The anger in my chest was out of control, and I couldn’t believe that the mob had found Josie. They had thrown a damn brick through my front window just to prove their point. On top of all that, Josie’s father was dead, apparently from some sort of car accident. Now, I knew he wasn’t a model citizen, but I didn’t take him for someone who would steal a car, get wasted, and drive around until he crashed into a telephone pole. I felt like there was more to the story than that, and I wasn’t going to sit around and wait for the mob to give me the answer.