Her heart stuttered. A girlfriend he hadn’t told her about? A deadly disease? A secret identity? The ridiculous and the probable played out in her mind in the span of a breath or two.
“What do you mean you weren’t honest?”
“You specifically asked me something the other day in my office and I lied to you. It’s been bothering me and I tried to find you, but you’d left. I wanted to tell you the truth in person.”
Sweat formed on the back of her neck and she peeled off her lightweight sweater. Now it was her turn to feel guilty. Here she was, planning to tell him via a phone call that he was going to be a father. She suddenly wanted to delay talking about what he came here for, even for just a moment, because if it was confession time, she had a doozie. “How did you make it down before I did?”
“Let’s just say I had a little help.”
Help? Was he saying… Then it dawned on her. Of course. “That overnight layover in Denver was because of you.” She poked his thigh with her finger and left it there a little longer than necessary before she pulled it away. What she wanted to do was push him back on the couch and kiss him silly, but that was her body talking, not her brain.
“What can I say? I have friends in high places.” He stood and paced to the window overlooking the darkened lawn below. When he turned, he almost tripped over Ginger.
“Ginger, come.” Roxy snapped her fingers but the dog didn’t listen.
Santiago reached down and scratched behind her ears. “You’d better listen or you’ll get in trouble. Trust me, you don’t want her mad at you. It’s torture.”
She laughed. Even though she was nervous about what he had to tell her, she couldn’t help it. She loved the crazy way he talked to Ginger. In fact, from that very first day when he’d paused to calm the barking dog in the Search and Rescue vehicle to the time she saw him feeding that squirrel, he’d surprised her with how he acted around animals. She’d always known you could tell a lot about a person that way.
He cleared his throat. “I learned something that you should know, but I withheld the information from you.”
“Go on.”
“When I found Grim at the mansion with those two Darkbloods, I overheard them talking about the original owner. I thought about telling you, but I had no way of knowing if it was true or not. And then I heard the same thing from Ventra.”
She shivered. “What did they say?”
“First of all—”
“They said something bad about Ian, didn’t they?”
“Roxy, they…they…” He exhaled loudly. “Yes. They said he was a Sweet addict.” If his shoulders were any stiffer, they’d be brushing his ears.
“And that’s what you lied about.”
“I should’ve told you up front and let you draw your own conclusions.” Santiago kept his gaze firmly plastered on the ground between the toes of his boots. “I’m sorry, but I knew how much you loved him and I was concerned that the knowledge would devastate both you and Mary Alice. I just didn’t see the sense in telling you something that didn’t matter any longer.”
“So you were protecting my memories of Ian?”
“Yes… I…I didn’t think you’d believe me and that you’d just assume I was trying to make you fall out of love with this great guy so that you’d fall in love with me.” He was talking faster now as if he wanted to get it all out. “I’m not telling you this to make myself look better in your eyes, to get you to stop loving Ian and…and love me instead.”
Her heart puffed up impossibly large in her rib cage until she was sure she would burst, and tears stung the back of her eyes. He was in love with her? Even with his cynical views on love and relationships, he…he loved her? The lump in her throat made it hard to swallow. “That’s impossible, Santiago.”
Disappointment darkened his expression and he started to turn away, but she immediately reached for his warm, strong hands.
“Because I already love you.”
His head snapped up and he searched her face as if trying to read whether he’d heard her correctly.
“I started falling in love with you from the very beginning.”
His eyes went wide. “You did?”
“You may be bold and brash, but I love you. Even when you found out about my history with the Agency, you believed in me, supported me. That meant…means the world to me, Santiago.”
He stroked his thumb along her jawline, sending trickles of pleasure down her spine.
“Then come back, Roxy,” he whispered, his breath stirring a few strands of her hair. “I’m not the same when you’re away. I don’t like myself without you. I know I’m hardheaded, difficult to get along with and I can be a complete and utter ass, but you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
His erection pressed against her hip, a sure indication that this deep conversation would soon be over unless she put a stop to it. She should tell him her news now, not later after they’d made love. He needed to understand exactly why she left in the first place. Given what he’d told her earlier about his thoughts on marriage and family, would he change his mind about wanting her back? At the very least, he should have all the facts in order to make an informed decision. But her hands, which were flattened against the warm plane of his chest, refused to push him away. Instead, they wrapped around his neck.
“I love you,” he said against her lips, “and, if you’ll have me, I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
That was all her brain needed to hear before it shut down and her body took over. He swept her into his arms and carried her to bed.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
THEIR CLOTHES LAY in heaps on her bedroom floor, her ceiling fan blowing cool air onto their naked bodies.
He slipped one finger, then two inside her. She was hot and slick already.
“We…we need to talk,” she said against his lips as she arched her hips upward, rocking against the rhythm of his hand.
“We’ve been talking. Now it’s time for this.”
Her legs fell open, her sex glistening and ready for him. He needed this, needed her, beyond anything he could’ve imagined. Covering her body with his, he prodded her inner thigh and easily found her center. As he buried his nose in her hair, he thrust into her hard and she gasped. Or was that him? She rose to meet him and he slid all the way to the hilt.
Oh, my God.
This is… Yesss.
His voice? Her voice? It didn’t matter. Like this, they were one anyway.
They moved together, ebbing and flowing. Higher and higher.
How could he ever think he’d be capable of straying as his father had? Roxy was his everything. He needed nothing more out of life than what this woman could give him.
Trust. Honor. Love.
She deserved to have those from a man.
For the first time, he knew in his heart he could give them to her. He was that man. It didn’t matter what his father had said or what he’d predicted. Santiago was a strong man and in control of his actions and his future. And his future was this woman under him.
She pulsed around him, squeezing him tighter. Stronger. Milking him.
Until…
The pressure in his balls intensified until she was all there was in his world. Her taste. Her sound. Her smell. Her feel. He fisted his hands in her hair and held on for dear life as—
Oh, God, oh…
Picture frames on her dresser rattled on the far side of the room. A book on her nightstand shimmied to the edge. The lampshade on her desk rocked back and forth.
Until…until…
Oh, God, yes…yes…
The pressure exploded in a blinding fury. Molten heat shot into him. Over and over he spasmed, filling her body until there was nothing left. Until he’d given her everything.
Neither of them said anything for a long while. With their sweaty bodies still joined, their rapid heartbeats slowed down together and the in and out of his breathing blended with hers.
He
was still inside her when she said again, “Santiago, we need to talk.”
* * *
ROXY RETURNED FROM the kitchen with two glasses of ice water, a box of crackers, a jar of peanut butter and a butter knife.
“Sorry. No other food in the house.”
“That’s okay.” He straightened the sheets, making room for her on the bed. “I’m not really hungry. We can go out later for something to eat.”
“I’m hungry now.” She set down the tray and sat cross-legged on the bed.
“Don’t worry. I won’t kick you out of bed for eating crackers.”
She handed him his water, not knowing quite how to start. Spreading some peanut butter on a cracker, she hoped it’d calm her upset stomach. Morning sickness and nervousness about how he’d handle the news that he was going to be a father made for an upset tummy.
“First of all, thanks for telling me about Ian. I appreciate that you have so much respect for my and Mary Alice’s feelings that you weren’t sure how to handle the news.”
“Well, I—”
“Except we already knew.”
He sat up in bed, the sheets puddled around his waist. “What?”
“I knew about his addiction,” she continued. “In fact, I made excuses for him at the Agency because I knew they’d execute him if they found out. That’s what caused all my problems. At first, I bought into his lies that he was serious about kicking it and would never touch the stuff again. But he lied so many times about quitting that I lost track.”
“Oh, God, Roxy, I had no idea.”
“Now that my intuition is stronger, I wonder if he’d still be able to fool me. I knew right away back at your office that you were bullshitting me about something.”
“I’d say he would still be able to deceive you because the person would have to know they’re lying for you to detect the deception. Addicts often believe their own lies until, bam, they’re using again.” Santiago grabbed a peanut butter cracker and stuffed it in his mouth.
“Shortly before he died, I decided I’d had enough and broke up with him.”
Santiago dropped his hands and stared at her, shock plastered across his face. “You and Ian weren’t together when he died? But I thought…I thought you loved him.”
“I did at one time. Or at least I thought I did. But when he seemed to care more about his addiction than he did about me, my feelings for him faded away.”
Santiago stroked the back of her hand with a finger. “And here, this whole time, I thought you were still in love with him. That I was competing with a dead man.”
“There was no one important, Santiago,” she said, kissing him on the cheek. “That is, until you stormed into my life.”
“Yeah, I have a tendency to do that sometimes.”
She grabbed the knife from him and spread another cracker. “A short time later, he comes to me all panicky, needing my help. He’d been assigned to rescue a sweetblood but almost killed the guy instead.”
She recalled how the streets in Key West were quiet that night, the humidity so thick you could cut it with a blade. Although weather forecasting wasn’t nearly as accurate as it was now, people were saying a huge hurricane would be making landfall the next day. Many of the residents had evacuated. The cantina was deserted as Ian led her around back to where the man lay on the cobblestones. His heartbeat was faint, but at least he was alive.
“I told Ian to turn himself in while I rushed the guy to our medical center. Maybe with his family’s influence, Ian could get the help he needed. He broke down and told me that his mother would be devastated if she found out he was still addicted. Little did he know, but she’d already suspected he hadn’t kicked it. Better than finding out her son had killed a human, I told him. He kept saying how he couldn’t do it. I assumed he meant that he couldn’t kill the man, but now I’m not so sure.” She realized she’d been spreading the peanut butter for an inordinately long time, so she set down the knife. “And that was the last time I saw him alive.”
“I’m…I’m so sorry, Roxy,” he whispered. “What about Mary Alice?”
“She and I remained close even after Ian’s ashes were discovered. In fact, it was at her urging that I left him in the first place. She said if he couldn’t get his act together, that I deserved to find someone better. He needed to hit rock bottom before he’d come to terms with his addiction.”
“But afterward, after he died, you almost took the fall for him.”
“Because I’d covered up so much for Ian, basically enabling his habit, they thought I had done something to get him killed. That I, as his partner, wasn’t where I was supposed to be when he was attacked by Darkbloods.”
“That is such bullshit.” Santiago tossed the knife down with a clatter. “He was a Guardian, for godsake. He was plenty capable of looking out for himself. They should never have accused you of anything.”
She smiled at him gratefully. “I was all set to quit the Agency, but Mary Alice talked me out of it. She reminded me how much I loved helping people and fighting for our cause and that I couldn’t quit altogether. I decided to focus my efforts on being a tracker, rather than being an agent, so I wasn’t reporting to the same people. Turns out it was a good move.”
“Yeah, I’d say so,” he said, lying back against the pillows. The thwap, thwap, thwap of the ceiling fan was the only noise for a moment. “You’re amazing, Roxy.”
“Huh?” She sure as hell didn’t feel amazing. Especially with this morning sickness.
“It’s a great example of how you turned adversity into a positive. I’ve got tremendous admiration for people who reinvent themselves.” He reached over and brushed something from her cheek.
“You do?”
“Yes, I’ve got several people working for me who did the same thing. It takes a lot of courage.”
She just hoped his positive feelings wouldn’t be dimmed by what she was about to tell him.
* * *
SANTIAGO COULD TELL something wasn’t quite right. Roxy nibbled on her crackers as if she were a bird. Normally, she didn’t fuss over her food so much.
He set down his glass of water and turned to face her. “I wanted to tell you that I talked to Trace Westfalen. You remember him. One of our local Council members. There’s been talk of opening a Tracker Academy branch on the West Coast.”
“Yes, Rand told me.”
He bristled at the familiar way she said his name even though the guy had helped Santiago out by making that layover. Since she knew about the new branch already, did this mean she wasn’t interested? Okay, if that was the case, maybe it was a good thing he did fly down here. Maybe he’d visit a few of the field offices and see if they needed someone like him. Sturgeon was a jerk, but he wouldn’t have to work for him. It wouldn’t be easy leaving his position in the Northwest, but he didn’t want to be apart from her either.
“They’ve been talking about it for years. In fact, it was at my insistence. I even volunteered to head it up.”
“You did? You’re willing to move out to the West Coast?” He jumped to his feet and would’ve spun her around the room, but she held her hands out, preventing him from doing so, and shook her head. Confused, he sat down again. “Well, that’s fantastic, isn’t it?”
She kept staring at her hands. She definitely didn’t look happy. Maybe she didn’t want to move to the West Coast after all. Jesus. Was that a tear in her eye? Could she be upset with him? Could it be that she wanted a commitment from him before she moved across the country?
He grabbed her hands and knelt at her feet. “Roxy, I love you more than I ever thought possible. Will you make me the happiest man in the world and be my wife?”
“And if it’s a good union…”
“I don’t care about those old-fashioned conventions. Your work is an important part of who you are and it doesn’t matter to me what people consider a good union or not. A coupling doesn’t need children to be a valid one.”
She angrily brushed a tear away.
“You don’t get it, do you?”
He was even more confused. Here he went again, not understanding what in the world was going on.
“It’s too late. The union is already a good one.”
A warm flush spread throughout his body. Did she— Was this— “It…it is? How do you know?” He was barely able to get the words out.
“Because I took a pregnancy test back in Seattle and Dr. DeGraff confirmed it. I’m pregnant.”
He was going to be a father? His hands shook as he sat back on his heels. She was talking but her words didn’t register in his brain for at least a full minute. A father? Him?
“I was going to tell you before I left, but then there was that business about you lying and I decided I didn’t want to be with another man who couldn’t be honest.”
“God, I’m sorry, Roxy.”
“Yes, I know.”
“So why are you so upset? Do you…not want a child?”
“Of course I do. But it’s been my dream to have a marriage like my parents. To raise a family with the man I love.”
“I…I don’t get it. You seem upset that our union is a fruitful one.” He stood and walked to the window, those old feelings of helplessness stirring inside. “If you’d rather not get married, to hell with our societal conventions. I’d never force you into a marriage you don’t want. My parents had a marriage like that and it was a disaster. If you don’t love me enough to be my real wife, just a fake one, I still hope we can raise this child together.”
She choked. “You do? But I thought…”
“You thought what?”
“You told me you didn’t ever want to be a father or a husband. I love you, but I thought—”
“Oh, my God, Roxy. Are you completely crazy?” He strode over to the bed, pulled her to her feet and spun her around. Ginger started barking.
She put her hand to her stomach. “Santiago, I’m going to be sick.”
Seduced by Blood Page 28