*****
Their food grew cold. Jessa ran out of tears, and Gorzo never ran out of patience. Despite the fact that she’d soaked his chest, and it had to be uncomfortable to hold her against him like this, he didn’t complain, or even move beyond rubbing her back with soothing hands. “I’m not used to having someone there for me. I… I expect everyone to have an ulterior motive when they show kindness and compassion.”
His hands paused on her back. “I understand your caution. The city umbrose are so used to living as feral beasts that returning to civilization was a struggle for them. They fight for rank, for power, and for the right to claim a concubine. Though friendships build here in Sanctuary, everyone seems to be watching for the next betrayal.”
“But you’re not like that, are you? You offer compassion and ask for nothing in return.”
Gorzo chuckled, shaking her on his lap. “Nothing? I’m no martyr. I offered my protection in return for your claim. Your companionship and your body are part of that. I hardly consider that nothing.”
Jessa lifted her head off his damp chest, glancing at him before turning until her back faced his chest. She didn’t want him to get a good look at her face, which was undoubtedly a swollen red mess from her tears. He didn’t comment on her readjustment, and his arms encircled her again when she leaned back against him. “You claim that you do have a motive, but what about your other friends? What have you gained from helping Princess Stacia?”
She felt his shrug ripple through his chest muscles pressed against her back. “Besides the high regard and respect of the princess, which has a value in and of itself, particularly among this hierarchal society?”
“It can’t only be that. You’re different from other people, Gorzo. You truly help people just to help them.”
“My upbringing was much different from that of these city umbrose and from yours. My people relied on each other for survival. It wasn’t competition that gained us social standing. It was cooperation. If one of our clansmen fell, either in battle, or to illness—or even to grief—we offered our aid simply because we couldn’t afford not to. Perhaps there was emotion behind the offer, but there usually is emotion involved. Even when you ignore the suffering of others, there’s usually some emotion.”
“Are you suggesting that everyone has something to gain from helping others?” It was a strange concept to Jessa, though one she’d felt instinctively all her life. Her own nurturing instincts had led to her looking after the younger children in the orphanage, sheltering them from the dark realities of their lives at the cost of her own suffering and trying to bring some joy into their world with handmade toys and made-up bedtime stories.
She’d always assumed that she had no ulterior motive in doing these things, and consciously, she didn’t. Looking back with Gorzo’s perspective in mind, she could see that she had benefited from her efforts. The children had clung to her, surrounding her with love. The younger ones hadn’t judged her on her strangeness. Of course, as they’d grown older, they’d either left the orphanage, or got tired of her and made new friends with children more like themselves, but when they were young enough not to put conditions on their love, they’d given her something she’d desperately needed.
“It’s not the same as having an ulterior motive. It’s a symbiotic relationship. People help each other because it benefits them both. That doesn’t mean they don’t also care about helping each other.”
“Have you ever… loved someone, Gorzo?” He’d mentioned his tribe, but he’d never spoken of specific members. Had he had someone special to share his home with? Had there been children to cuddle at night? Did his people even do such things? From what she knew of the Sanctuary umbrose, concubines were not usually mates. Lilith and Stacia had been a deviation from the norm. Umbrose children were raised communally in heavily-fortified hidden nests. Yet Gorzo was not one of those Sanctuary umbrose. He wasn’t only different from humans, he was different from the only people he could call his own.
Her questions had caused his muscles to tense beneath her back. He didn’t answer for a long moment. Then his arms clasped in front of her, wrapping around her waist and pulling her tight against him. “I had a mate. She was the other half of my soul. When that part of me was torn away by her death, I believed that I would die. I wanted to die.”
It was strange how much his words hurt. She shouldn’t feel this jealousy for a woman who was already dead. She shouldn’t feel jealousy at all. Gorzo wasn’t hers, even if he’d made a claim on her. She couldn’t keep him. She certainly had no business wishing for his heart to belong to her, much less his soul. In fact, the less he cared about her, the easier things would be for him when she was gone. Still, the tears she’d thought were all dried up welled up in her eyes again. She blinked rapidly to keep from giving herself away. “I’m sorry, Gorzo. That’s terrible.” She managed to keep her voice even, giving no hint of her distress.
“I almost gave up. I hunted down the raiders with the full intention of exacting my revenge, but I also expected to die at their hands. I was outnumbered.”
“Did you ever find them?”
“I did. It seems that I underestimated the power of my vengeance. They couldn’t kill me, and I was left standing alone in the rivers of their blood.”
“That’s… I don’t even know what to say, Gorzo.” Jessa shivered at the image his words evoked. A barbarian umbrose bathed in the blood of his enemies. It was appalling and terrifying, but there was also something exciting and primal about it. He was a warrior in a way that humans hadn’t been for so long that only their fairy tales told of such things.
“I wandered for many years after that, with nothing to guide me but the tracks of my next prey. Then I heard the voice of the Mother. The shadows I’d spent my entire adulthood controlling no longer obeyed my commands but made demands of their own. They became my guides and led me to the ocean, and to an ancient boat—barely seaworthy—but just enough to rest on when my wings grew too tired to fly. That’s how I came to this land and found Sanctuary.”
His hands were clasped over her lap. Jessa stroked her palms over his forearms down to his wrists, where she clutched him as a terrible thought struck her. “You don’t still wish to die, do you?”
In answer, he turned her around on his lap until she was facing him again. “I stopped wanting to die when I took the lives of Kasara’s killers. As I sent their souls to Umbra, I realized that mine would heal someday. Though I had lost my other half, I came to believe that it could be found again.” He cradled her face between his hands. “Schodecora—my beautiful mate—when I first looked into your eyes, so beautiful and alien, I saw the other half of myself. I found hope again.”
“I….” Jessa swallowed through a lump in her throat. She was determined not to cry again. Her face probably already looked a mess. She had no idea what to say to Gorzo in response to his revelation, because she’d felt the same connection when she’d first seen him as well. She’d jeopardized everything she was trying to do by choosing a high-ranking umbrose, and she hadn’t cared, because he’d belonged to her from the moment she laid eyes on him. “I love you.” The words were inadequate. They couldn’t describe what she really felt—the soul-deep understanding that she and Gorzo were made for each other. Something she’d been afraid to accept, because it made what she was doing here so much worse. Instead of dwelling on that, she leaned forward and kissed him hungrily.
Chapter 18
Jessa didn’t want Gorzo to leave the following morning when he was summoned by Prince Balfor. She felt a sense of impending doom that came with the certainty that their time together was running out. She wanted to stay like this forever, curled up in his embrace, waking up beside him in their bed, in a home of their own.
To her shame, she even felt selfish enough to wish that the Diakonos never contacted her again. It was the same as admitting that Micah’s needs no longer took precedence in her mind. She felt like an awful person and guilt nearly crushed her, but
her need for Gorzo was an even stronger pull.
It didn’t matter what she wanted though. From the moment she’d gone to the matchmakers, she’d chosen the path of no return. She’d already betrayed Gorzo and could not undo that. He would never forgive her for what she’d done, no matter how much she regretted it. Nor could she argue with him when he promised her that they had plenty of time to spend together and that he would return as soon as possible to be with her.
She had to watch him walk out the door, knowing that it could be the last time she saw him.
After it closed behind him, Jessa set about getting dressed in one of the new umbrose-style dresses she’d purchased with Lilith and Stacia. Though umbrose designs had changed somewhat since the arrival of the two human concubines before Jessa, they still exposed a great deal of her skin, particularly on her back. She wished for more coverage in the upcoming meeting with the young umbrose females who would be coming for handmaiden interviews. Even more, she wished for a suit of armor against Stacia, who was supposedly going to be joining them.
A plaintive meow interrupted Jessa as she was digging through her chest of drawers for a suitable veil.
She looked down at the cat stropping her legs. “Hey Figgy. Poor little guy. Are you feeling neglected?” Of course he wasn’t. Robots didn’t feel neglect, but she pretended. When she’d bought him, she’d needed someone to baby. Real cats were prohibited outside of special facilities. There simply weren’t enough resources in Dome City for live pets.
Figgy meowed again in response to her voice. He was definitely on the “needy” setting, which was the one she usually left him on. She bent down and scooped him up in her arms.
Instead of the rumbling purr that usually greeted this action, a recorded message played from his hidden speakers, usually used for streaming music.
“Greetings, Diakonos Ellis. It has been too long. I apologize for the surprise you must be feeling at the sound of this message, but it couldn’t be helped. We needed to keep the means of our infiltration completely classified, even from our primary agent. You’ll understand that it was better this way. You couldn’t inadvertently betray yourself or our cause because you had no idea we had modified your Servo Cat….”
Heart pounding, Jessa nearly dropped Figgy, but the cat dug its claws painfully into her arms, clinging to her even when she tried to let it go.
The message continued on after the extended greetings and platitudes even as Jessa tried to unhook the robotic cat from her skin. “Naturally, you are eager to be free of this odious task you’ve been assigned. None could possibly question your dedication and loyalty to the cause, after you so valiantly sacrificed yourself for our mission.”
“No.” Jessa shook her head. “Audio shutdown!”
Figgy didn’t respond to the voice command, and the message continued to play on. “As you recall, your extraction from Sanctuary was part of the mission details. However, I’m afraid that simply won’t be possible.”
“Good! Just leave me alone!” She didn’t want to leave anyway. Given how deep Figgy’s claws were digging into her skin, she had a bad feeling that the Diakonos weren’t going to make it that easy. The room started to sway around her, or perhaps it was she who was swaying.
“Your service to the Holy Order and our cause has been exemplary, barring a few minor issues. You have certainly redeemed yourself. Know that your life will be remembered in the holy texts. You will be known to all as the mother of our new god. When Micah ascends, so too will the memory of the woman who bore him and aided his journey into this world.”
Jessa didn’t have the strength to struggle anymore. Vomit spewed from her lips, splashing onto the faux fur of the Servo Cat still digging claws into her skin, which injected the poison into her bloodstream. She staggered, then dropped to one knee. Figgy detached from her and sank back onto its haunches, the large red eyes fixed on Jessa. She stared back at it through blurred vision.
“Farewell, Jessabelle Ellis. You’ve done your duty. Now you are free.”
Chapter 19
Stacia appeared in the corridor outside of General Gorzo’s chambers as a courtesy. She could have just as easily appeared inside, but didn’t like intruding on other people’s privacy—unlike her mate, who still hadn’t gotten the memo.
She knew Gorzo wasn’t in the room, and not only because Balfor had summoned his entire cabinet that morning at an unusually early hour for the umbrose. The shadows told her there were no other umbrose nearby. She was tempted to ask them to spy on what Jessa was doing to make sure she was ready, but again, that was an invasion of privacy. Stacia didn’t want to become too comfortable with such acts. Just because she could do it, didn’t mean she should.
Instead, she approached the door. She’d arrived early because she was debating having a heart-to-heart conversation before the handmaidens arrived. She knew it was nosy and pushy to ask about the stretchmarks, but she was responsible for the safety of Sanctuary and had a duty to question any inconsistencies in what Jessa had told them. At least, that’s what she told herself.
Oddly, the door was slightly ajar. That wasn’t entirely unusual. There was no theft in the palace. No umbrose was stupid enough to steal from a resident or guest of the prince. Still, most umbrose valued their privacy whenever they could get it. Gorzo valued it even more so. The umbrose of Sanctuary still hadn’t quite warmed up to him. As far as Stacia was concerned, it was their loss. There were few people she respected and admired more than Gorzo. Other than her mate, of course.
When she knocked on the door, it swung open further, revealing Jessa lying prone on the marble floor in a pool of blood and bile.
Chapter 20
The elder healer tended the wounds of her current patient with a deep frown creasing her forehead.
Gorzo stood beside Uriale’s bed, his arms crossed over his chest as he stared down at the stricken adurian. “Will he survive?”
Ranove, standing beside Gorzo, shook his head. “I’ve never seen any adurian survive such a thing.”
Balfor’s slight laugh lacked any sense of humor. “This is no ordinary adurian. Uriale will survive long enough to suffer. At least as long as the healer does her job properly.” He glared at the elderly woman, who glared back, being one of the few umbrose not cowed by the prince.
Ranove gestured to the dull golden skin of the patient. “His glow is gone. That means his link to the Father is also gone. Why try to heal him? We don’t need him alive anymore.”
Balfor clenched his fists at his sides. “Someone cut him open and took the very essence of his being while he was inside the womb of the Mother. We need to know who it was and how they accomplished it.”
Ranove eyed the prince. “And then? What will be Uriale’s fate?”
An evil chuckle preceded Balfor’s answer. “Then, I set him free in the basalt traps, just like I did to his people.”
Gorzo glanced at Balfor. “There’s no sport in hunting a dying warrior.”
Balfor snarled at the general and then glared down at the unconscious adurian. “I won’t need to hunt him. He won’t make it out of the basalt traps alive. Without his glow, only his will is keeping him alive. He’ll die within the first day.”
Ranove turned to the prince. “Then why not just kill him after you interrogate him?”
Balfor growled as he looked down at his worst enemy. “Because that would be a mercy I’m not willing to show him.”
“I don’t thin—”
Balfor held up a hand to silence Gorzo, his head lifted as if he was searching the shadows, every muscle in his body tensed as his wings partially extended.
Ranove and Gorzo both responded to their prince’s cues, tensing up and looking around as if prepared for an attack.
Instead, Princess Stacia appeared in a swirl of shadows. She carried Jessa in a hold that looked unwieldy to the umbrose but was probably all she could manage with her human lack of strength.
Gorzo didn’t need to hear Stacia’s frantic demands for
a healer to know that something was seriously wrong with Jessa. She hung limp like a sack of meal from the princess’s shoulders.
Ranove shook his head at the sight. “I think we just found out who’s responsible for Uriale’s condition.”
Gorzo snarled at the duke. “I’ll kill you for that later.” He rushed to the princess, gently taking Jessa from her shoulders.
Stacia sounded out of breath when she spoke. “I’m pretty sure it’s poison. She’s still alive, but just barely! Her pulse is thready. Sadly, that’s the extent of my medical knowledge. I hope the healer can help her because—” Her eyes widened above her veil as she took in the healer’s clinic and the huge adurian prince lying motionless in a drugged sleep on the primary healing table. “Oh Mother! What’s going on?” She turned her gaze to Balfor, narrowing her eyes.
He shrugged. “I didn’t feel the need to bother you with this. Not yet.”
“What haven’t you been telling me?”
Gorzo wasn’t interested in their domestic arguments. He settled Jessa on a bed, taking her hand in his as another healer came to her side to check her over. “The princess says it was poison.” Given that blood stained the area around her mouth, and vomit was smeared across one cheek and the front of her dress, it was probably a good guess.
The healer ran her hand down one of Jessa’s arms, ignoring the burgeoning argument between the prince and princess behind her just as Gorzo was. “These marks.” She touched several swollen bumps that had turned black. “This was the entry point. She didn’t drink the poison. I can’t simply purge it from her stomach. It’s in her blood.”
Gorzo struggled against his primal’s desperation. It wanted to simply go berserk, but that wouldn’t solve anything. Jessa needed him now more than ever. She needed him calm. “Please! There must be something you can do!”
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