This time, Jessa spared a quick glance at Lilith. “Then why are you apologizing to me?”
Lilith shrugged, grasping her hand for a quick squeeze before releasing her. “Because you are not a monster. Gorzo told me what you’d done. He also told me what you’d been through. He has faith in you. He believes that you’re a good person who’s been cast into a terrible situation. I trust his judgement.”
“He… he said all that? He doesn’t hate me?” She impatiently brushed away the tears that clustered on her lower eyelids.
“Does how he feels about you matter to you?”
Jessa couldn’t hold back a single sob before she managed to regain control. “Of course it does! I love him! I don’t care what you all think about my motives. I just want him to know that I never meant to hurt him, and that what we had was real.” She swiped at more tears that tried to slip down her cheek.
Lilith leaned forward in her chair, her gaze steady on Jessa. “You know, maybe I’m naïve, but I believe you. I don’t think you’re that good of an actress.”
Jessa sniffled. “I’m prepared for my execution. I just… I wanted to see Gorzo one last time and tell him I’m sorry.”
Lilith’s eyes narrowed. “Hmm, the execution.” Her tone was bitter. “I understand where Balfor is coming from, but I still think it’s wrong. There are extenuating circumstances. Sometimes, the umbrose are so damned intractable—”
“My Lady.” Sari’s tone was a gentle rebuke.
Jessa jumped at the sound of her voice, since Lilith’s handmaiden had so expertly blended into the shadows that Jessa had forgotten she was there. Of course they wouldn’t have sent Lilith alone to talk to Jessa. Sari was an effective bodyguard against a human female without any cybernetic enhancement.
Lilith sighed. “I’m not going to change my mind about this being wrong. I wish I could change Balfor’s mind, but….”
Jessa shook her head. “It’s okay. I understand. The fact that you don’t completely hate me is comforting. I… I’ve never really had anyone stand up for me before, until I met Gorzo and came here to Sanctuary. For a brief moment, I finally knew what it was like to feel like I had a home.”
Whatever Lilith might have said in response to that was cut off by the door opening. All three females looked in that direction.
As soon as Lilith saw who it was, she rose to her feet. “Well, you’re home, so Ranove must be too. We should be going.” She glanced briefly at Jessa. “Goodbye, Jessa.” It was clear she wanted to say more, but there really wasn’t much else she could say.
Lilith and Sari slipped past Gorzo and through the open door, quietly shutting it behind them.
Gorzo’s gaze was fixed on Jessa, though his expression was still unreadable. He remained silent for a long moment as she tried to gauge his mood. She lowered her gaze, unable to look into the darkness of his eyes any longer. That’s when she saw the condition he was in.
His gray skin was covered in blood. His blood and other—human—blood.
Without thinking, she jumped to her feet and went to him, running her hands over his skin. The blood had dried, but burn marks disfigured his tattoos. “You’re hurt! Why are you here? You should be at the healer’s!”
He was the one to catch her when she swayed on her feet. “You should still be at the healer’s clinic. The poison might be out of your system, but there was damage done.”
Jessa allowed him to scoop her up and carry her to the bed, because she simply didn’t have the strength to fight him. “My health doesn’t matter at this point. I only care about you. Are you sure you don’t need a healer?”
Gorzo laid her down gently, plumping the single pillow behind her so she could sit up. Jessa felt a little nauseous, but managed to will her stomach to settle. This moment with Gorzo was too important to get sick all over him.
“All I need is a long bath. My wounds were not critical. They will heal rapidly enough.” He leaned back on his haunches, remaining crouched by the bed.
“I’m so sorry, Gorzo.”
He watched her for a long moment in silence, his lips drawn into a thin line as if he pondered her words and found them wanting.
Jessa tried to fill the silence. If she did nothing else with what little time remained to her, she had to convince him that she loved him. “I knew, from the beginning, that I would end up hurting someone. I didn’t want to do it, even then, but I felt like I had to for Micah’s sake. They said he was dying and that—”
Gorzo slowly shook his head. “Micah didn’t make it, Jessa. Uriale’s glow killed him. The Diakonos lied to you. He would have been fine if you’d never come here.” His tone was gentle, but that did nothing to lessen the impact of his words.
Jessa’s stomach clenched so hard that she gagged. Fortunately, she hadn’t had anything to eat so it was only dry heaves. “No,” she said after she managed to catch her breath. “They said adurians can’t live without the fungus anymore. They’ve adapted to it and have to have it, and it must be introduced when they are children. They said—”
Gorzo grabbed her upper arms, holding her steady as she started rocking on the bed. “They lied, Jessa! They manipulated you! That is not your fault. You thought you were doing what had to be done to save Micah.”
“I killed him!” The room started spinning around her. She fought against Gorzo’s hold. “I’m the one who killed him! I hurt you for nothing! I lied for nothing! I betrayed the umbrose for nothing, and in the end, I killed my baby!”
Gorzo shook her once, hard enough to snap her out of the darkness she was slipping into. “You’ve held on to this guilt long enough. You must let it go! I need you to forgive yourself, Jessa.”
She shook her head violently. “What’s the point? I deserve to die, and I will get what I deserve!”
“I won’t let them kill you!” Gorzo’s words were spoken through gritted teeth and ended in a growl.
The fierceness of his tone shook her. She studied his snarling face. “Why do you still fight for me? After what I’ve done, you should hate me.”
His expression softened. “We have all done things we regret. We’ve all felt guilt in our lives. I wish I could take back many moments that I’ve lived, but never the moment when I met you.”
“Why would you ever trust me again?”
He brushed her hair back off her forehead with both hands and then cupped her face between them. “You trusted me. You took that risk. You believed I was worth it. I feel the same way. I know you’re worth the risk.”
Jessa gripped his wrists, tugging his hands away from her face. “I love you, Gorzo. This is why I can’t let you fight for me. I accept my fate. I will die knowing that you have forgiven me, and most importantly, knowing that you will still have a home here in Sanctuary after I’m gone.”
“No! I told you I’m not going to let them—”
“Please leave, Gorzo. Or have me sent to another room. I won’t let you take any more risk, and prolonging this is only hurting us both.” She turned her back on his devastated expression, rolling onto her side and pulling the fur top cover over her.
“This isn’t over, Jessa.”
She didn’t answer him, and after a drawn-out moment, she heard the door open and then shut softly behind him.
Chapter 25
Stacia settled back against the pillows after her marathon lovemaking session with Balfor. Though he’d been as enthusiastic as ever, she could sense his distraction, even though he’d taken efforts not to share it with her.
“You don’t want to kill her, either.”
Balfor sat up on the edge of the bed, his wings curled tight against his back. “I don’t care about the treacherous human. I want her dead for her betrayal.”
“But you do care about Gorzo.” Stacia didn’t need to know his thoughts to know that Gorzo’s unhappiness would bother Balfor. Thanks to the general’s intervention three years ago in their doomed relationship, she and Balfor were here together now. Not only did Balfor owe Gorzo for th
at, but he also owed him for reuniting him with his primal, which probably saved Balfor from being completely lost to his primal forever. That was the crux of her mate’s problem, and hers. They both owed Gorzo their happiness. Executing Jessa according to their laws would destroy his happiness.
Balfor didn’t answer her statement. There was no need. She knew the thoughts that ran beneath the surface thanks to their connection to the Mother and the bond it had formed between them.
“Can’t we come up with some other punishment? Aren’t there extenuating circumstances that make her actions understandable, if not justified?”
He turned around and faced her, revealing a deep frown that did nothing to mar his handsome face. “I can’t change the laws for a human who betrayed us to our enemy! In fact, I have to make an example out of her. Any leniency I show towards her could jeopardize the trust my people place in my judgement.”
“You showed Uriale leniency.”
Balfor’s frown deepened into a snarl. “I did no such thing! Even now he probably breathes his last—”
Stacia held up a hand to cut him off. “You can’t lie to me like you do to everyone else. Even when you don’t share your thoughts, I can sometimes feel your emotions. I know you hate Uriale, but you also respect him. You think he might survive this, despite the condition he was in and the uncompromising environment of the basalt traps. You really believe he might escape.”
His lips drew tight as he looked away from her. “Even if he survives—which is something no adurian has ever done that I know of—without his glow he’s no longer a threat to the umbrose.” He stood and crossed his arms. “Besides, I didn’t need to know Uriale’s thoughts to recognize that he’s found a new enemy to hate. At this point, if he manages to live, he’s a greater threat to the remains of the Diakonos than he is to my people.”
“And what do your people think of you showing him leniency?”
Balfor paced a few steps back and forth in front of the bed. “Would you rather I fatally wound the girl and then cast her out alone into the basalt traps? Is that the sort of leniency you’re requesting?”
Stacia sighed. “You know that’s not what I meant. Jessa is not Uriale. She’s not even a trained enforcer or sentinel. She’s simply some poor woman who was snatched up by the Diakonos as a kid and brainwashed into doing their bidding.”
“You think that absolves her of her crime? That she was brainwashed, as you say? Is that a true defense, or simply your empathy affecting your judgement?” He turned his back on her again, revealing a very nice backside that Stacia would have taken the time to admire if she wasn’t so bent on trying to save Jessa’s life.
“Her motives don’t matter. Her crime is what must be punished. You must understand that, Stacia. I can’t spare her life.” When he looked at her over his shoulder, he caught her watching his ass. A small smile lightened the severe expression on his face. “Although, if you’d like to keep trying to convince me, I’m willing to let you, as long as you use the same methods you’ve been trying for the last two hours.”
A spark of amusement mixed with lust distracted Stacia for a brief moment, but she knew that time was running out for Jessa. Though she hadn’t personally grown attached to the other woman, Lilith liked her, and Gorzo was completely devoted to her. Because two people she respected and cared for would be affected by this, she had to make a concerted effort to change Balfor’s mind. No one else could do it. “Does my opinion mean nothing to you? As your princess, don’t I have a say in how the laws are carried out?”
Balfor’s wings twitched as the only sign of his disappointment that she’d brought them right back on topic, when he’d clearly been trying to distract her. “As a human, you cannot appear to be more biased towards your own kind. If I allowed you to spare her life, then I look weak to my people. They will see me as much under your control as Uriale was under Anata’s.”
Sharp anger drove Stacia off the bed and onto her feet, facing Balfor from across the wide mattress. “That’s bullshit! You’ve changed laws at my recommendation before. You’ve taken my advice in the past. Now, at this critical moment, you claim that you don’t want to appear weak?”
Balfor growled as he turned to face her, reacting to the full floodgates of her anger that she opened between them through their bond. “It is precisely because this is a critical moment! The other changes you’ve asked me to make have been good for my people, allowing them to lighten up and experience some well-deserved joy. These were changes that made them happier. You’re asking me to pardon a traitor. That will not make anyone happy besides you and Gorzo.”
He fully opened his side of their bond to her. His feelings and thoughts battered her emotionally, but one thing they told her for certain was that there was nothing she could do to help Jessa. Balfor would stand firm on his decision. No matter how much it hurt her that he felt the way he did, he didn’t want his people to question who was actually running Sanctuary. Their prince—or a human woman controlling him.
The anger bled out of her, leaving her slumped and deflated. “I’m not Anata. I’m not evil.”
“You are my mate, my beloved. I will always cherish you. But I can never allow you to have as much control over me as Anata had over Uriale. It made him weak. Not because she was evil, but because he allowed her to be. I have to do what must be done. It gives me no more satisfaction than it gives you.” He sighed, shaking his head at her. “The girl’s death will be quick, and as painless as I can make it. For Gorzo’s sake, I will not draw out her punishment as the law dictates. See that as some small concession to your wishes.”
The anger was back. “You stubborn bastard! You expect me to just sit back and be the pretty little princess on the throne while you do all the ruling. Because I’m just a girl, right?”
Suddenly Balfor jumped over the bed and grabbed her arms to pull her up until they were face-to-face. “I expect you to respect the traditions of my people, the laws of my people, and my age and experience when it comes to governing my people. I also expect you to understand where I’m coming from when I say I cannot pardon this traitor. You are being the stubborn one.” He set her back on her feet, releasing her and stepping away from her as if he didn’t want to be near her. “So sit on the throne and be the pretty princess, because you have no say in this matter at all. This discussion is over.” With that, Balfor disappeared with the shadows.
Stacia could have followed him. Their bond let her track him even through Umbra. She didn’t, because he was now furious at her, and frankly, she wasn’t that pleased with him either.
Chapter 26
Gorzo studied the woman in the cell. She was clearly unaware of his presence as she searched for an escape, making no effort to hide what she was doing. He had to admire her resourcefulness. She’d taken what must have been a hairpin and was trying to pick the heavy lock on the door.
“Perhaps you should stick to—what was it again—genetics?” He spoke the words in DC Common, tired of relying on the translator that still encircled his neck like a torque.
She jumped away from the cell door at the sound of his voice, hiding her hand behind her back. Her eyes narrowed, and her lips tightened into a defiant frown as he stepped out of the concealing shadows. “If you demons are planning on killing me, then just go ahead and do it. Why waste time locking me in a cell?”
Gorzo crossed his arms over his chest, looking down at the woman who seemed almost diminutive despite what was obviously a fierce nature. She didn’t want him to know she was terrified, but it was obvious in the way her entire body trembled. “Are you truly in such a hurry to die?”
Dr. Chrysander lifted her chin, thrusting her shoulders back and holding her head high. The braids that adorned her black hair had broken loose from the bun she’d had them in and now swung free to the middle of her back. “I’m prepared for my fate, but I have no intention of going quietly.”
“If you’re prepared for your fate, why try to escape?” He tipped his head towards
the lock. Her gaze dropped for just a second in that direction then lifted again as she almost managed to meet his eyes in a staring contest. She still stalled somewhere around his neck. There was a limit to her nerve, which had him convinced that it was mostly an act.
She shifted her hand further behind her as if she feared the pin would be taken from her. Gorzo had no intention of doing so. That wasn’t why he was here. “You realize that the prince will have many questions before your execution.”
She smirked, though the arrogant expression didn’t reach her wide, dark eyes. “I’m sure. I’ve already received a visit from Duke Ranove. I know what your prince wants.” She crossed her arms over her chest, still concealing the pin in her palm. “Why should I help any of you? Micah was meant to save humanity. Why would I create true abominations that would doom our kind?”
This was interesting. Gorzo had not been part of Ranove’s interrogation, and for that, he was regretful, but he’d wanted to return to Jessa as soon as he reached Sanctuary. He’d been thrilled to discover that she was doing much better and was no longer in pain, but then she’d ousted him from her presence. He knew why she was doing that, but he wanted to spend their last moments together, instead of where he was now. Still, she wouldn’t accept him back in their room, and though he could force the issue, that wasn’t how he wanted her to remember their time. So he was here in the dungeon talking to this human scientist to assuage his curiosity and distract him from Jessa. “How would the hybrid have saved your people?”
The doctor released a short, bitter laugh. “The Lords,” she said the word as if she wanted to spit, “have ruled over us like our masters, not as our caretakers, or as loving creators the way the Holy Order used to have us think. Micah would have put humanity’s fate back in our own hands. A human hybrid capable of wielding the power to bring even the Lords to their knees in service to him.”
“Which makes humans the masters of the adurians? So the Diakonos are no better than they are. You simply want to rule, instead of being ruled over.”
Jessabelle's Beast (Shadows in Sanctuary Book 3) Page 15