by Gayle Callen
“I will, I promise. But for now, I think I will remain nearby.”
Susanna smiled. “In case he needs you. Oh, Emily, he will need you again, I just know it.”
Emily smiled. If only she would be lucky enough for that to happen. But she kept remembering the article in the newspaper mentioning her name—and the other wife Matthew didn’t remember. Right now too many things stood in her way. But she would overcome them.
Chapter 5
Since Matthew’s father wasn’t the master of the household, his study was in his suite of rooms in the family wing of Madingley Court. He also worked in a laboratory created for him in the servants’ wing, when he wasn’t lecturing or researching at Cambridge University.
Matthew knocked on the study door, and after opening it at Professor Leland’s call, was surprised to find that both his parents were there. Of course, he should have expected their curiosity and eagerness to talk with him. The professor sat behind his desk, while Lady Rosa was reading in a chair near the windows. They both stood up as he entered, and the joy in their faces pleased him.
Lady Rosa took his arm and led him to a chair near hers, and Professor Leland came around the desk to join them. For a while they talked in general of the state of their large family, the new scandals, the marriages, land in which his father had invested.
Matthew brought up his new contacts in India as well as exciting investments he wanted to work on with Professor Leland. “Even the railway,” he said. “There are so many opportunities, and it is an exciting time for England.”
The professor blinked at him. “You’ve never mentioned such an interest, Matthew.”
“I know, and I was wrong. I didn’t really know what I wanted, and I was trying not to be a disappointment to you.”
“You could never be that to us!” Lady Rosa said, looking stunned.
“Yes, I could have, but I held it all inside, feeling like I was going to burst from the pressure. Now I feel ready to do as I wish. And these new investments, these new industries, excite me.”
She put a hesitant hand on his arm. “But Matthew, these enterprises are well and good for other people, but they are not exactly within the realm of a gentleman.”
He patted her hand. “Mother, I promise you that I will be circumspect in my business dealings, but I cannot let myself be held back by what others think of me. Frankly, I no longer care.”
Her mouth fell open, yet nothing came out.
“I know this is very different for me,” he said, looking to Professor Leland for approval.
The professor only nodded. “Go on. I’m very encouraged by your interest in our future.”
“I used to be so concerned with the present, with being so careful, with always doing what Society expected of me.”
“And what is wrong with that?” Lady Rosa asked in a bewildered voice.
“Nothing, Mother—except it wasn’t me. I was hiding everything I was inside, pleasing everyone else, but not myself. I always wanted excitement and adventure, to be free of constraints.”
“But you never said any of this, son,” Professor Leland said slowly.
“I know I didn’t, and that’s my own fault. My service in India opened my eyes to how stilted I’d been, living my life. I was trying so hard to be perfect, without scandal, just like my cousin Christopher spent his adulthood. But really…” He leaned forward and took both their hands, concerned about hurting them. “I wanted to be just like Daniel, to be my own man. I’ve become that person these last two years. I’ve been making my own decisions, and accepting the consequences.”
For a moment he felt the pain of some of those decisions, but he let it go. It was in the past.
Lady Rosa’s lips tightened. “Daniel has hurt this family’s reputation since you’ve been gone. This past summer he made a wager with an innocent young girl, and it became very public.”
“Is this the one he married?” Matthew asked, trying not to smile.
His mother sighed. “She is. And she’s a wonderful girl.”
“And she’s been good for him,” the professor added. “He’s found his music again, Matthew, and all because of his wife.”
“Then I guess his decisions made him happy.” Matthew focused on Lady Rosa. “Can you be happy for me, Mother? Let me do as I wish, and trust me enough to know I can make everything work out?”
When she nodded, and Professor Leland gave him a grin, Matthew told himself that it was as if he now had their permission to handle this situation with Emily as he saw fit. And if that was a bit of an exaggeration, he would live with it.
They discussed the men interested in Rebecca, and when Lady Rosa noticeably avoided the subject where Susanna was concerned, Matthew spoke up.
“About Susanna,” he began. “There is a dinner tonight, and she refuses to attend? Is this normal?”
“It did not used to be so,” Lady Rosa said tightly, “but I guess you are not the only person who wants to do as he wishes.”
He smiled. “Susanna is strong-willed. But Emily is worried about her.”
“As are we all,” Lady Rosa continued, “but she wants me to give up persuading her, so I have.”
“I’m not ready to do that. Has anything in particular happened to make her more reclusive?”
Lady Rosa sighed. “If so, she will not tell me. But she used to at least try to socialize and be friendly, but now, more and more, she spends all her time in the laboratory.”
Matthew waited for Lady Rosa to throw an accusing glance the professor’s way, but to his surprise, she didn’t.
“She feels like herself there,” Professor Leland said quietly. “We did not want to take that away from her.”
The “we” was so shocking to hear that Matthew almost forgot what they were discussing. What had brought about this thaw in his parents’ relationship?
But he reminded himself that they were talking about Susanna. “I think I can help her. I want to persuade her to attend tonight’s dinner with us, and to guide her into seeing that she can be herself, yet still find her future within the ton. Do I have your permission?”
“Permission?” Lady Rosa said, throwing her hands wide. “I would take any help you offered. Perhaps she would try to be happy, for your sake. She’s missed you so.”
He wondered if his “death” had been part of what harmed her, and it made him feel ill inside. He would have to make things better. Emily’s challenge to him was the right thing to do.
It was amazing, he thought wryly, that a woman whose life was based on a lie seemed to be able to make good choices—sometimes. She was an intriguing mix of contrasts.
Lady Rosa cleared her throat. “Your behavior is so normal, Matthew. It is hard to believe you’re having…problems.”
“Mental problems?” he said, grinning. “And is it all that normal to want to change everything about myself?”
“Not everything,” Professor Leland said. “You are still the same good man as when you left.”
If he felt a twinge at that, it was small and easily ignored.
“This must be so difficult for you,” Lady Rosa said at last, reaching out to touch his arm.
“You mean Emily?” Matthew asked, looking out the window.
Professor Leland cleared his throat. “You have absolutely no memory of her?”
“None, although she says I rescued her at sea. I do remember a boating accident, but it’s vague.”
“Ah, such a shame to lose the memory of your first six months together,” the professor continued, shaking his head. “I am so sorry, Matthew. And I have little to tell you, because poor Emily was so traumatized by your death that whenever we brought up the subject of your time in India together, she would burst into tears.”
He looked between them with interest, but remained silent.
“She was so sick and thin,” Lady Rosa added, wringing her hands. “For many months I truly feared for her. You see, she was robbed in Southampton when she returned from India, and withou
t payment, her seasick maid left her. Poor Emily had been all alone for many days before arriving here.”
“We did receive a letter from the vicar who married you,” the professor said.
Matthew straightened with interest. “What was his name?” he asked, hoping to match it to the marriage license he’d found.
His parents glanced at each other, then both shook their heads.
“I don’t remember,” Professor Leland said.
“I’m sure I have the letter in my chambers,” Lady Rosa added.
“What did it say?” Matthew asked.
“Only that we should expect Emily soon,” she said, “that she’d married you before you left the country, and was in India with you until you feared that your assignment would prove too dangerous for her to be with you.” She blushed. “I remember it so well, because I was so shocked and grateful to meet the woman you’d chosen.”
“The letter said nothing else?” he asked, hoping for some kind of clue.
She shook her head. “No, my dearest. And does it really matter? You and Emily are together again.”
Matthew took a deep breath, feeling a twinge of guilt. But he wasn’t the one who started this charade. “Emily tells me you spent most of your time here at Madingley Court when you were in mourning. But after that?”
“The girls and I went off to London,” Lady Rosa said with forced brightness. “They are young, and had their lives to live. I hope you understand…”
“Of course I do, Mother. Did Emily enjoy Society?” Matthew asked.
She frowned and glanced at her husband. “I had a terrible time making her leave Madingley Court. She’d never been to London for a Season, and was worried she would embarrass us. She kept calling herself a country girl. She was appalled at the abundance of clothing I wanted to buy for her, and refused everything but the barest necessary.”
Professor Leland said, “She even tried to refuse the allowance we offered her, though it came from your inheritance.”
“She took it at last,” Lady Rosa said, “but I know she mostly uses it for her causes in the village.”
So much for Emily having a monetary motive, Matthew thought with surprise. “Causes?”
“Oh, let her show you all of her good works. You’ll be so proud!”
Matthew sank back in his chair, knowing that questioning his parents further would be useless. They only had praise for Emily, and seemed to love her as a daughter. How had she succeeded in swaying his entire family? But then again, he already knew the lure of her sweet personality, the way she could make a person focus only on her.
At least he had places to begin his research, from her parish vicar to her “causes” in the village. Maybe she had another reason for spending so much time in Comberton. A lover perhaps?
Yet her sweet kiss haunted him. He realized he wanted her to be an innocent, which hardly made him objective.
Matthew couldn’t find Emily.
He told himself it was a large mansion and she could be anywhere. He looked for her in all the main public rooms, from the conservatory to the library to the great hall. It wasn’t until he was outside the dining room with his parents before luncheon that she arrived with Susanna.
Emily gave him a sunny smile, those blue eyes studying him as if she needed to know everything about him. Well, of course she did. And he didn’t mind being studied. He enjoyed her attentions.
He asked, “And what have you been doing this morning, Emily?”
“She was with me in the laboratory,” Susanna said.
Matthew glanced at his parents, who both deliberately looked away. He tried not to smile. “And do you sketch, too, Emily? I thought you told me you were not a true artist.”
“Oh, she doesn’t sketch,” Susanna said matter-of-factly. “She studies.”
He looked between them, watching the blush that suffused Emily’s cheeks.
“I know it is not quite the thing for a young lady to do,” Emily began slowly, “but I am fascinated with learning, and the professor’s knowledge is impressive.”
“You’re studying anatomy,” Matthew said.
“It’s a shame Emily cannot attend university,” Professor Leland said cheerfully. “She would be an excellent student.”
Lady Rosa rolled her eyes. “This isn’t helping, Randolph.”
Matthew wasn’t surprised by Emily’s intellect. But he’d thought they had an agreement to help Susanna change her behavior and become a happier person.
Hamilton, the butler, rounded the corner and came to a stop as he saw the family talking outside the dining room. Behind him, Matthew saw Reggie, and a young man, tall and blond, his gaze fixed eagerly on Emily.
After a moment, Matthew recognized him: Peter Derby. He’d grown up in a neighboring manor, the youngest son of a squire, and had spent much time at Madingley Court. Peter had even been tutored with them—he and his cousins—since the Derby family could not afford more than a governess. He was intelligent, and when only his older brother had been allowed to attend Eton, Peter’s disappointment made him work even harder to educate himself.
To Matthew’s surprise, his parents gave him a swift, almost guilty look.
Peter grinned at Emily, who stiffened.
“Mr. Derby has arrived,” Hamilton said, speaking to Matthew’s parents. “Forgive me for not realizing that luncheon was being served.”
“I can return at a later time,” Peter said, not taking his eyes off Emily.
“But you will wish to be here, Mr. Derby,” Emily said. “Did you not see the Times today?”
“I’ve been out riding.”
At last he lifted his gaze to the rest of the family. When he saw Matthew, his smile disappeared as abruptly as a candle flame in a sudden wind. Matthew, being no fool, realized why. Reggie looked from one of them to the other, and frowned as he obviously controlled his amusement.
Peter had become Emily’s suitor. Was he one of her “causes” in the village? Matthew felt an unfamiliar tightening in his stomach, and told himself it couldn’t be possessiveness—could it?
Chapter 6
Emily looked between Mr. Derby and Matthew. She knew they’d grown up together, had been friends for many years, but now things were…different. She’d been politely trying to dissuade Mr. Derby’s interest in her since she first emerged from mourning, but he always implied he knew what was best for her. Eager, arrogant man. He’d gone from claiming two dances at every party, to “accidentally” meeting her on a country lane, to recently calling on her—to the Leland family’s surprised pleasure.
“Matthew?” Mr. Derby said, his eyes wide in his pale face.
Gradually, the man began to smile, but he wasn’t quite able to conceal his…disappointment? But he and Matthew had been good friends.
And yet he’d been making his intentions toward her very clear, and now Matthew’s presence would obviously put an end to that.
Smiling, Matthew put his arm around Emily’s shoulders. “Peter, it is good to see you.”
So he remembered his friend, at least. But she hadn’t thought he would be the sort who needed such a masculine display.
Something within Peter seemed to ease, and his smile became more genuine. “How did this miracle occur?”
Between Rebecca and Lady Rosa, the entire story tumbled out.
“That is incredible,” Peter concluded. “I will write to my family about your good news.”
“Do have luncheon with us, Mr. Derby,” Lady Rosa said, taking his arm and steering him into the dining room. “Are your mother and brother in London?”
Her voice and his answer faded away.
Emily was surprised by Lady Rosa’s invitation, considering that Mr. Derby could no longer court her, and it might be rather awkward now that Matthew was home. But then she noticed that Susanna had gone into the dining room ahead of them, saying nothing. Did Susanna think her mother now meant to steer Mr. Derby’s attention toward her?
Matthew kept his arm about her. “W
e’ll join you in a moment, Father.”
The professor, trailing his wife, gave Emily a sympathetic nod. Reggie offered a casual salute as he passed by.
When they were alone, Matthew guided her away from the open door. “So, you and Peter?” His voice was calm, almost speculative, as he released her.
She lifted her chin. “I was a widow out of mourning; he was persistent. I did not encourage him.”
“Why not? I would not fault you for that.”
“Then you are an incredibly understanding husband. I guess I should have realized that, by your tight arm around my shoulder.”
He continued to study her, laughter in his hazel eyes. “Sarcasm. Faint, but noticeable.”
“If it’s called for.”
He chuckled. “I like you, Emily Leland.”
“So I assumed when you married me.”
His voice became deeper, rougher. “I guess marriage meant that I more than liked you.”
She looked away.
“Does that hurt you?”
“No. It is simply still difficult to remember that I thought all of this”—she gestured toward him with both hands—“with you, was gone.”
“So you will not mourn whatever relationship you had with Peter?”
She smiled and lowered her voice. “He tried to make it more than it was, but I felt nothing.” She looked over her shoulder toward the entrance to the dining room. “It seems we will continue to see much of him.”
“He is an eligible man, and my mother has two single daughters.”
“But did you see Susanna’s reaction to him?”
“Perhaps she is hiding an interest she doesn’t know how to express. After all, Peter was here to see you—and has been seeing you. I’m not used to finding my wife being courted by another man.”
“How do you know?” she teased him, hoping it was the right tactic.
His eyes seemed to sharpen, making her hold her breath, but he continued smiling. “Because I’m far too confident in my abilities to keep a wife satisfied.”
The shot of heat was startling, surprising. Just his words could make her react to him? “Oh, my,” she murmured, fanning her face.