by neetha Napew
“A few times.”
“Did you make love?”
“Once.”
“Only once?”
“I won't lie to you. Andra and I made love once.”
Suki looked at the floor. “I try not to be jealous. I know you're a Floran and I can't hold you to Earth standards -- especially when you're offworld. I try to understand your ways, but it's difficult for me. I mean -- I understand them on an intellectual level, but emotionally...” She shook her head. “I can't quite come to grips.”
“Suki, Andra engineered my escape.” He reached for her but she turned from him. He placed his hands on her shoulders. “You're an experienced meditator...”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“After Andra arranged my escape, she meditated to drive knowledge of her deed from her mind -- to protect me and herself.”
“I ... I suppose that sort of thing is possible.”
“Right now it's likely she's in anguish, wondering where I am or if I'm all right.”
Suki's eyes began to fill. “Oh, Nick! She'd do that for you ... for us. Poor, poor Andra. When you said she's the best sort of friend ... I had no idea just how good a friend she is.” She faced Nyk. “She earned her night with you.”
“As soon as I can figure out how, I must get word to Andra that I'm all right.”
“She won't have closure otherwise.”
“Andra told me she has a dream. She dreams of coming to live with us on Earth as our amfin -- our sister lover. She said she'd like to live in our house, to know and to love your child as an aunt. She'd like the three of us to sleep together in a huge bed.”
“Andra is deeply in love with you, Nick. It's obvious.”
“I know, and I feel sorry for her. I wish she'd find someone local to love.”
“Speaking as a woman, I don't think that's likely. She's devoted to you, Nick -- in the same sort of way I am. Do you love her?”
“Yes, I do -- as a kindred spirit and as a friend-for-life.”
“Her love for you is deeper than that.” Suki wiped a tear from her own face and then stroked one from Nyk's. “She gave you up so you could have me. That's not something I can do. The only greater sacrifice would be for her to give up her own life for you -- and I'm convinced she loves you enough to do it in an instant, should it come to it. I believe your love for her is deeper, too -- you should admit it to yourself. Let the truth free you, Nick. When you get word to Andra, tell her how you truly feel about her. I'm sure it would mean much to her.”
Nyk shut his eyes to hold back a tear, then squeezed Suki's hand. “I have been struggling with my feelings for Andra ever since Zander's death. I don't know how to reconcile my love for you and her. I'm as conflicted in this as you, korlyta.”
“It's as if you, she and I make up a sort of a family in love. The whole is greater than the sum of the parts.”
“If you truly feel that way -- if you truly believe that, then you truly understand our ways.”
“I think I do -- and, it's liberating. It means I'm free to love her, too. Andra is the one person in the universe I don't mind sharing you with.”
“Then -- you've forgiven us -- me?”
Suki embraced him. “Forgiven you? Under the circumstances, it was the least you could've done.”
“Suki, I want to apologize on behalf of my people for how you were treated.”
“I was treated well. The entire time, I was shown dignity and respect. I had a very nice conversation with Illya.”
“I hope you won't judge all Florans on the basis of Senta and Tomyka Wells.”
“No, Nick. If I were to judge all Florans on the basis of two individuals, I'd choose Andra and you. Now, I'm going to get ready for bed.”
Nyk lay on the bed with his fingers laced behind his head. Suki stepped into the bathroom. “Tell me about Miss Wallace,” he said as she brushed her hair.
“She was my history teacher during my junior year.”
“You must be very fond of her.”
“I'm more than fond. She's like you -- she's one of my saviors.”
“What do you mean?”
“I was pretty wild in high school. I did a lot of drinking and drugs. I had discovered sex and was ... active that way, too. My grades were suffering. Miss Wallace made salvaging me her little project. I connected with her almost right away. She wasn't married, and the boys in her class would snicker behind her back -- they thought she was gay. One day I told her I was a lesbian, and I asked her if she was also.”
“How did she respond?”
Suki stood in the doorway and continued brushing her hair. “She said very gently no, she wasn't. I felt terrible. Then, she told me it didn't matter to her if I was gay or straight. She told me she saw good in me, and potential -- that good and bad, and gay and straight were completely disconnected. I had always equated gay with bad -- it's the message I got from my father. After that, I began confiding in Miss Wallace. I could talk to her about things I'd never mention to Mom or Daddy. She told me stories of her life and when she was a student. I cut back on the partying and applied myself to my studies -- and brought my grades up.”
“She helped you turn your life around.”
“It was an incident in college that did that. I'll tell you about it some other time -- maybe. Miss Wallace put me on the right path. I don't know where I'd be without her.” She put her brush away and clipped her hair into a ponytail. “She wrote a nice letter of recommendation that helped me get into college. I became a history major because of her.”
Suki entered the bedroom. “There -- now you know a little more of my sordid past. I told you there's much you don't know and much I don't want you to know. I hope it doesn't change your opinion of me.”
“Well -- I'm afraid it does.” She flashed a glance at him. “I admire you even more.”
Suki slipped off her robe. She stood sideways to him and smoothed her hands along her stomach. “I can't believe how huge I am. I don't look like I'm about to have a baby -- I look like I'm about to deliver a Porsche!”
She slid into the bed and lay with her back to him. He slipped his arm around her and caressed her abdomen. “Has he been busy today?”
“Not too.” She placed her hand on his. “I think I understand why pregnancies last so long. After nine months of this, a woman will endure anything to have it over.”
Nyk stroked her belly. “I can't wait to meet him.” He nuzzled the base of her neck and kissed her shoulder. She guided his hand to a spot where the baby was kicking. Then she picked up his hand, kissed it and cupped it over her breast. He could feel her heart pounding through her flesh. “Nick, I want you so much!”
“Is this wise? You're so close to your due date.”
“I don't care. We've been separated for two months. We won't be able to after the baby comes -- not for a while. Let's tonight.”
“What if it...”
“What if I go into labor? I hope I do. I can't think of a more beautiful way to start our boy's journey into this world. Can you?”
Nyk sat in bed leaning against the headboard. He coaxed Suki into leaning against him. He slipped his arms around her and caressed her belly. She guided his hands.
“Divide your mind.”
“No, Nick. I don't want to use the technique tonight. I'm starved for your touch. I want to feel it all. I want to feel your hands -- I want to savor. Is that all right for tonight?”
“Certainly.”
She led his fingers across her body and he caressed her. “Oh Nick ... mmm ... I'm not made of glass ... don't -- don't be too gentle...”
* * *
“Bon'matina.” Nyk awoke to her kiss on his cheek.
“Are you all right?”
She nodded. I'm having a few cramps -- a small price to pay.
“Do you want to go to the hospital?”
“No -- I've been having false labor for about a week. They're probably more of the same. I felt something else, though -- so
mething I hadn't felt.”
“What was that?”
“A warm glow.” She kissed his cheek again. “I'm going to take my shower.”
Nyk descended the stairs from the apartment to the kitchen. George was sitting at the table reading a newspaper. Nyk helped himself to a cup of coffee.
“Is Sukiko all right?” Yasuko asked him.
“Oh yes -- why wouldn't she be?”
“After what I thought I heard going on in the bedroom above ours last night -- I'm surprised she's not in the maternity ward this morning.” Nyk smiled. “Nick, believe me I'm delighted she has a man like you in her life. I know your physical relationship is a big part of it. Please use some prudence -- that's all.” She set a bowl of oatmeal before him.
Suki entered the kitchen. “Good morning, Mom...”
“I was just speaking to Nick about last night. I think you two should exercise a little caution...”
“Yasuko, give them a rest,” George said from behind his paper. He looked at his daughter. “She's only saying that because it's how you were launched into this world.”
“Really, Mom?”
Yasuko blushed. “You didn't have to tell them that.”
10 -- I'm In Labor
Suki brushed her hair in the apartment's bathroom. She walked into the bedroom carrying her hairbrush and holding a clip in her teeth. Nyk looked up from a box on the floor. In the box was a polymer fiber sack. He dipped into the sack and withdrew a handful of clear crystals.
“What are you going to do with those?”
“We're going to need some money -- and not just to put away for that summer house. Do you think your uncle would know how to go about finding a market for raw diamonds?”
She clipped her hair into a ponytail. “He's more likely to know than I.”
“What's the best way to get to Jonathan's shop?”
“City bus, I imagine. I don't know what route, but you can check the MTA website.”
“I'll do that in the morning.” Nyk returned the box to its hiding place in the closet. He hopped onto the bed. Suki slipped off her robe and lay beside him. He rolled against her back and slipped his hand around her belly. She stroked it and guided it so he could feel the baby kick. He kissed her shoulder. “Bon'noka, korlyta.”
* * *
Nyk stepped off the city bus and walked a block and a half to Jonathan's shop. He stepped through the door and saw Suki's uncle sitting behind a counter. “Nick Kane -- I didn't expect to see you again so soon. I hope nothing's wrong with that setting.”
“The setting's fine. I came because I thought you might help me.”
“I'll do my best.”
Nyk slipped a carton from his pocket. “I have some items I'd like to sell and I hoped you might have some ideas on how to find a buyer.” He handed the box to Jonathan.
“What have we here?” He opened the box and his eyes popped. “My goodness...” He picked up a crystal and held it up to the daylight. “I've been in this business for ... well, for longer than I care to admit. I've never held an uncut diamond.” He looked at the crystal through a lens. “I'm no judge of raw stones, but I can't see a flaw! How did you come by these?”
“I'd rather not say. I assure you they're not stolen -- they're mine, free and clear.”
Jonathan picked up another crystal. “This one's nearly as nice.”
“There are more where those came from.”
“More?” Jonathan looked up at him. “Nick, I run a small retail shop. I'm not a cutter or lapidarist -- my trade is in finished gems. I'm in no position to buy these from you.”
“I'm not asking you to buy them. I was hoping you'd have some ideas.”
Jonathan picked up a third stone. “Look at this -- a perfect crystal.” He replaced the cover on the box. “If you'd be willing to let me hold onto these for a while, I'd like to show them to my supplier when he comes by. He might have some ideas.”
“Keep them as long as you like.”
* * *
“Nick... Nick...” Nyk felt Suki shaking him. He opened his eyes. “Nick -- I think I'm in labor.”
“Are you sure?”
“No -- I've never been in labor before. It started with a cramping feeling in my lower back.” She grimaced. “There it is again.”
“How often?”
“About twenty minutes.”
“Put your bag together. I'll wake your folks.” Nyk slipped into a pair of jogging pants and a shirt and headed down the stairs. He rapped on Suki's parents' bedroom door. “Yasuko... Yasuko...” Suki's mother opened the door a crack. “Yasuko, Suki thinks she's in labor.”
“I'll wake George and he'll bring the car around -- then I'll be up.”
Nyk climbed the stairs. Suki was brushing her hair. “Do I look all right?”
“Does it matter?”
“It matters to me.”
“You look great. I'll help you downstairs. Your father's getting the car.”
Nyk escorted her out the front door and into the car. He helped her into the back seat and sat beside her. She held his hand and leaned against him.
* * *
Suki lay on her back in the hospital bed. A nurse entered. “I want to start an IV.”
“Is that necessary?” Suki asked.
“It's a precaution. If we need to give you any meds in a hurry, it'll be there.” The nurse began preparing an IV. catheter. “You'll feel a prick.” She inserted it into a vein on the back of her left hand. “You say you don't want an epidural?”
“I don't.”
“I hope you'll let the doctor administer a cervical block.” The nurse jotted some notes on a chart and left the room.
Nyk looked at the fetal monitor display. Suki grabbed his hand. “Another one...”
He stroked her arm and looked at her face. She was breathing slowly and deeply, her eyes closed. Nyk could see the contraction build, peak and recede on the fetal monitor. She opened her eyes.
“I thought you were supposed to be panting and blowing.”
“When it's your body, you can deal with it your way. I'm using meditation techniques.” She reached up and hooked her arm around his neck, drew his face near hers and kissed his cheek. “I'm also using what I learned from our Floran lovemaking technique -- to divide my mind and force the sensations to the back.” She kissed his cheek again. “It works for this, too,” she said and gripped his hand. “Another.”
“They're coming fast, now.”
She nodded and closed her eyes. Nyk could see her body relaxing -- the only tension her clenched jaw and her grip on his hand.
“It's amazing,” he said as he caressed her abdomen. “I can see him moving down.”
The nurse returned and felt under Suki's drape. “About six centimetres. She's doing well -- most moms-to-be are begging for an epidural by now.”
Suki's obstetrician, an older woman with grey hair, entered her room. “Sorry to get you out of bed,” Suki said.
“It's not the first time.”
Suki closed her eyes for another contraction. She let out a moan as it peaked, then gasped and panted. “That was a good one. The worst part is resisting the urge to push.”
The doctor nodded. “You'll have your chances to push.” She checked her. “Eight centimetres. Almost party time -- I'll go put on my scrubs.”
* * *
Nyk walked into the waiting room. Yasuko was pacing and George was reading a six-month-old Readers' Digest. “Shouldn't you be in there?” she asked.
“Her doctor is administering a cervical block. She brandished the biggest needle I've ever seen. I got a bit lightheaded and the nurse thought a change of scenery would do me some good. So far, it's been textbook.”
“Nick -- She couldn't have done this without you.” Yasuko smiled. “I'm looking forward to being a grandmother.”
“I'd better get back in there.” He returned to Suki's room. The doctor was sitting at the foot of her bed.
“She's almost there,” the nurse said. �
��She just hit nine.”
Nyk looked into Suki's face. She was panting. “I want to push so badly.”
“A couple more and we'll have you push,” the doctor said.
Suki took a deep breath and clenched Nyk's hand. He watched the monitor and felt her relax as the contraction passed.
“Push on the next one,” the doctor said. Suki closed her eyes and grimaced. Her face reddened and veins in her neck protruded. “I see a crown.” Suki gasped and panted. “Another push like that and you'll shoot the little sucker across the room.” Suki grimaced again. The doctor took a pair of forceps, gave a tug and held the newborn infant. Nyk heard the baby cry. “It's a boy.”
* * *
Suki held her son as Nyk sat beside her. Her parents entered her room. “How do you feel?” Yasuko asked.
“Tired and sore. The block is wearing off. I plan to nurse him. They'll get us started on that shortly.”
“Six pounds thirteen ounces,” her mother said. “Not a bad size. Have you thought about a name?”
“I've known from the start what I'd name him. I'm naming him after Nick. We'll call him Nicky -- until he's a little older.”
“Sukiko...”
“Yes, Daddy?”
George handed her a flat box. “This is yours.” She slipped the cover from the box and removed a layer of cotton wool. Inside was the golden Kyhana crest. “I know we haven't always seen eye-to-eye. Today, I'm proud of you. You stood your ground, did what you thought was right and damned conventional wisdom. And it was right -- you turned adversity -- something terrible -- into something very good.” He brushed a tear from his face. “He's an adorable little boy. I'm proud to be his grandfather,” he said as he took her hand. “I'm proud to be your father.”
She reached with her free arm and hugged him. “Thank you, Daddy.” She handed the box to Nyk. “You'll keep this safe until we can find a proper home for it?”
“You can trust me.” He regarded the object and traced the three katakana characters with his finger.