by neetha Napew
“No -- he'll be late.”
“I fixed a tray for Sukiko. You and I can have a romantic dinner together.”
11 -- Baby Blues
“Here you go buddy.” Nyk handed Nicky to Suki. “Breakfast time.” She held the baby to her breast as Nyk sat beside her.
“I wasn't ready for the rigors of parenthood. I knew a baby needed attention, but I never expected so much. I can't get anything done, because if I start something he interrupts me for food or a change or just some attention.”
“He's a newborn. As he gets older, he'll be more independent.”
“In twenty years.”
“Not twenty years.” Suki switched him to her other breast. “Are you still sore?”
“Yes...” She handed the infant to Nyk. “That should hold him 'til ... ten or so.”
“Are you coming down?”
“I don't know.”
“Do you want me to bring up a tray?”
“I don't care.”
Nyk carried Nicky down the stairs and plunked him into the infant seat. He felt Yasuko's hand on his shoulder. “There's something very appealing about seeing you cradle him so tenderly in your strong arms. Are you sure you haven't done this before? You look like a natural with him to me. Is Sukiko coming down?”
“I thought I'd take a tray up to her.”
“She's starting to worry me, Nick. I think she may have a case of the baby blues.”
“Baby blues?”
“Post-partum depression. As the days progress she seems less and less connected. She spends too much time upstairs, alone.”
“I think she needs more time to recover.”
“I know something about this condition, Nick. I hope you're right.” The telephone rang and Yasuko answered. “Yes, he's here. Nick -- it's for you.”
“For me?” He took the handset. “Hello?”
“Nykkyo Kyhana!”
Nyk rolled his eyes. “Hello Seymor.”
“Nyk, the agency oversight committee has been in a panic looking for you. The smart money says you're in hiding onworld looking for a way off. Then, I received a statement from your draw account and saw a one-way flight from Milwaukee to New York was charged. I wondered if you might already be offworld. It appears you are.”
“I'll pay back the charge.”
“Don't worry about it. Nyk, I'd like it if you'd come to the office tomorrow.”
“I'd rather not. I'm not having anything else to do with ... FloranCo, Seymor.”
“I'd like to talk with you. I take it you're not in a position to talk now.”
“That's right, Seymor.”
“Please come by to talk -- as friends, Nyk. No one else knows you're here.”
“Can we keep it that way?”
“They won't hear of it from me. I promise.”
“All right. I'll be there.”
* * *
Suki handed Nicky to Nyk. “Do you want me to bring you a tray again?”
“If you'd like.”
“Your mom's offered to care for him today -- to give you a break. She'll only bother you for feeding.”
“Where are you going?”
“Seymor wants to see me.”
“You're not going back to them.”
“No, korlyta. I am not.”
Nyk carried the infant to the kitchen. “How's she doing today?” Yasuko asked.
“About the same. I think you're right. There's more wrong with her than simple exhaustion. Something's changed -- she's lost the sparkle in her eyes. She's not the same Suki I came home to.”
Yasuko peered from the kitchen toward the living room. “I suffered terrible post- partum depression when Sukiko was born. Nick, I'm going to tell you something no one other than George knows -- not even Sukiko. I spent three months in an institution recovering from it.”
“You did recover.”
“I was so miserable. I'm worried, Nick. If her condition progresses like mine -- she'll get a lot worse before she gets better.”
George stepped into the kitchen and unfolded his copy of the Wall Street Journal. “How are the regulators?” Nyk asked him.
“It's in the hands of the legal eagles, now.” George glanced up and his eyes fell on Nyk's necktie. “Where are you going today?”
“To the FloranCo offices.”
“I thought you were done with them,” Yasuko said.
“I am. My boss -- ex-boss asked me to stop by to talk -- as friends.”
“Excellent,” George said. “You have something he wants. Stand your ground, Nick and make them pay for it. God knows, they've made you pay enough.” He gulped his coffee, stood, placed his hand on Nyk's shoulder and squeezed. “I mean it, son. Stick it to 'em.”
* * *
Nyk climbed to the surface at the Canal Street subway station and walked the ten blocks to the Tribeca building where Seymor kept his office. He ascended the stairs and opened the door. “Hi, Jaquie.”
“Mr Kane. I thought we'd never see you again.”
“Is the big guy in?”
“Hold on...” she picked up the phone and punched a number. “Sir? Mr Kane... Go right on in.”
Nyk headed into Seymor's office and closed the door. Seymor looked at him and shook his head. “Lad, I was right about you. I had you pegged from the moment you first set foot onto this rock. 'That boy gets stuff done,' I said to myself. You sure do. How did you do it?”
“I found my own way offworld.”
“Not willing to say? I don't blame you. You know, sooner or later they'll discover you're here -- or assume it -- and send enforcers after you.”
“They'll have to find me first.”
“That shouldn't be too hard.”
“Oh no? Do you have a scanpad?” Seymor removed a ring of keys from his pocket, unlocked a cabinet and removed a device the size of a credit card. “Does it work?” The gadget chirped as Seymor pressed his wrist against it. Nyk took it and held it to his wrist.
“How?” Nyk unbuttoned his sleeve and showed Seymor the copper bracelet. “Do you wear that thing twenty-four by seven?” Nyk smiled. “You think you can game them. They will find you.”
“It's a chance I'm willing to take.”
“I spoke to Kronta this morning. He said, if our paths crossed to give you a message. He'd like you to call him.”
“That's rather difficult, since my communications have been disabled.”
Seymor gestured toward the computer on his desk. “Any time, Nyk.”
“I have nothing to say to Kronta.”
“He's on your side. I'm on your side. Your conversation will be off-the-record.” Nyk handed back the scanpad. How are things on the home front, lad? Has Sukiko delivered her baby?”
“About two weeks ago.”
“How's she doing?” Nyk made a hand gesture to indicate so-so. “The enforcers who returned her to Earth left her in my care. It's my policy to disseminate knowledge of my agents' home addresses on a need-to-know basis, and those goons had no need to know. I'll admit I was skeptical about you and her, but the time I spent with her convinced me I was wrong.”
“I'm happy to hear that. I wish I could convince Tomyka Wells of it.”
“Tomyka... She came up through Internal Affairs. She knows only one thing -- what the rules and regs say. No compromises, no exceptions for Tomyka. I'm surprised she let Sukiko free.”
“I thank Kronta for that.”
“Nyk, if you and Sukiko are trying to raise that child together -- I know there will be bills to pay. I have an idea how I can help you -- we can help each other. Are you agreeable?”
“I'm listening.”
“You know this whole ruckus has disrupted our ability to supply the plant breeders with the Earth material they want. We've closed the lab in Wisconsin, and our other lab in Scottsdale is swamped -- and, manned by a botanist who couldn't locate his ass with both hands and a flashlight. I'd like it if you'd consider coming back to us as an exobotanist.”
“Out of t
he question. I'm not setting foot on Floran territory or a Floran vessel.”
“Not as a FloranCo associate -- as an outside contractor. I'll forward the requests to you, and you can pass the cultures to me. I'll handle interfacing with the homeworld and delivering the specimens.”
Nyk nodded. “Where would I do this work?”
“Where would you like? We can lease some space in an under-utilized warehouse or factory. We already rent a warehouse in the Bronx with some space you could convert to a lab.”
“I'd rather it were in Queens -- it's closer to home.”
“Queens, then.”
“What would you pay me?”
“Name your price, Nyk. We're desperate for some help.”
Nyk looked at Seymor. “How would one hundred dollars an hour sound?”
Seymor smiled. “It would sound cheap at twice that price.”
“Can you get away with this?”
“Of course -- I work with outside contractors all the time. Who do you think does our diamond cutting?” He took Nyk's hand and shook it. “Glad to have you back on board. Is there anything I can do for you?”
“Seymor, Suki has agreed to marry me.”
“I recall. Have you set a date?”
“Not yet. When we do ... Seymor, I'd like you to be best man.”
“I'm honored, Nyk ... but, I must refuse. If the oversight committee discovered I participated in the wedding of a Floran to an Earth person -- I'd be drawn and quartered.”
“I understand. We'll manage.”
“I'll get started scouting out some real estate. Anything else?”
“There is someone on the homeworld I'd like to speak with.”
Seymor gestured toward his chair. “Be my guest -- I'll be in the outer office.”
Nyk sat behind Seymor's desk and entered Andra's locator code. The call initiated and Andra answered. “Nykkyo! Where are you?”
“On Earth. I wanted you to know I was safe.”
“How? How did you?”
“I'd rather not say -- you should appreciate why.”
“Of course. I'm so happy to see you safe. I woke up the other day and you were gone! I thought maybe you had fallen off the bluff -- for days I walked the beach looking for...” She brushed away tears. “Internal Affairs thought I had something to do with it. I told them I didn't and volunteered for truth drug...”
“They interrogated you -- with truth drug -- again? Oh, Andra...”
“I'm all right -- no adverse effects. How's Sukiko?”
“She had her baby. It's a big adjustment.”
“I can imagine. Give her my love. Nyk -- about the genealogy...”
“Please, Andra -- I don't want to be reminded of it. Didn't you give it to Korlo?”
“Not yet...”
“Give it to him. He'll know what to do with it.”
“But, Nyk -- There may be something in it -- something that can help...”
“I don't want to know what's in it. I made it to Earth. My identity here is iron-clad -- I can slip into the population, find work... go native. I'm finished, Andra -- with the Agency and with Floran. My one regret is having to leave you behind. If I could've brought you here with me, I would've.”
“I know you would've. I do worry for you -- suppose Agency Enforcement...”
“They'll have to find me, first -- and prove who I am. They're going to find that difficult. I don't know when I'll be able to call again. Take care of yourself.”
“No, Nyk -- you take care of yourself -- and Sukiko and that baby.” The vidphone went dark.
* * *
“Nyk, pass the rice,” George said. He picked up the rice bowl and passed it. George scooped some and looked toward Suki. “Rice?”
“Have some,” Yasuko said. “You've hardly eaten all day.”
“Don't you think I'm fat enough already? No, thanks.”
“Nick, how was your meeting at your old firm?” George asked.
“It went well. I've been asked to contribute as an independent contractor. The firm will find space for me to work and I can set my own hours.”
George nodded. “How much are they paying you?”
“One hundred an hour.”
George nodded again. “How did you arrive at that figure?”
“I tossed it out and they jumped at it.”
“You started too low.”
“I realized it right away. I should've started at five hundred and let them work me down.”
“You're catching on.”
* * *
Wakefulness seeped into Nykkyo's consciousness. He became aware of a sound coming from the nursery. Beside him in the dim light he could discern Suki, lying on her stomach and holding her pillow over her head.
“Nicky's crying,” he said. Suki gripped the pillow tighter. “I think he's hungry.”
She rolled over and glowered at him. “Then, go feed him,” she said. “You wanted this baby, you stick to your part of our deal and take care of him.” She flipped onto her stomach and pulled the pillow over her head again.
Nyk arose, went into the nursery and picked up the baby. He noticed dampness and changed his diaper. “Come on, little buddy,” he said and carried Nicky into the kitchen. He opened the refrigerator and looked in. After rummaging through its contents he closed the door.
He walked into the bedroom. “Suki, we don't have any milk for him. Didn't you express some this evening?” She lay still. “Suki?” He touched her shoulder. “You should be expressing milk for him -- it'll keep your supply fresh.”
She looked out from under the pillow. “Are you an expert on breastfeeding all of a sudden?”
“I don't need to be an expert to know he's hungry and we have no milk. Can't you feed him?”
“Go away.”
Nyk set Nicky into his crib, returned to the bedroom and pulled on a pair of trousers. He picked up the baby, carried him downstairs into Suki's parents' kitchen and began a survey of their refrigerator.
“Oh, it's you,” he heard Suki's father say. “Yasuko said she heard a noise.”
“Nicky's hungry and we have no milk upstairs.”
George turned and left the kitchen. “Well, buddy,” Nyk said, “I don't know what we're going to do.” He found a nursing bottle with about an inch of white fluid in its bottom. Nyk slipped it into the microwave oven and set it for a brief warming blast. He removed the bottle from the oven, touched the glass to his lips and presented it to the infant. Nicky began to nurse.
“That's hardly a meal's worth.” Nyk looked up and saw Yasuko standing in the doorway.
“We have none upstairs. I thought maybe you had some left over from today.”
Yasuko opened a cabinet and reached toward the back. She withdrew a can of formula concentrate, popped it open with a can opener and half-filled a nursing bottle. She topped it with water from a plastic jug and began warming it in the microwave oven.
Nicky finished the first bottle and Yasuko handed Nyk the second. “Don't tell her I have this.”
“Have you been sneaking him formula during the day?”
She nodded. “She's not making enough milk, and she's not expressing enough to stimulate production.” She sat beside Nyk, placed her hand on his bare back, stroked his shoulder blade and then withdrew her hand. “I'm worried, Nick. Her depression seems to be deepening.”
Nicky consumed about half the second bottle. Nyk felt his body relaxing -- his nursing becoming less vigorous as his stomach filled. The infant's eyes closed. His lips parted and Nyk withdrew the nipple. He held the baby and stroked his black hair. Nyk held him against his shoulder and rubbed his back. Nicky released a belch.
“You're a brave man doing that without a towel.”
“It washes off.” He sat, held Nicky and stroked him.
“I mean it, Nick. I'm very worried. She spends her days upstairs, moping. They have ... treatment these days that wasn't available years ago. Please, Nick, implore her to call her doctor and get a prescription
. And, tell her if she's not having a good time nursing him, it's okay to use formula. Nicky's welfare is paramount, and no one's going to think her a poor mother if she can't nurse him.”
“I'll try. She needs love and encouragement. I'm standing by her and helping her through this.”
“Nick, if anyone's love were strong enough to cure her, yours is.” She shook her head. “Love alone won't fix this. It's a medical condition and she needs medicine.”
“She'll recover in time.”
“Perhaps, in time, it will resolve itself. What if it doesn't? What if some medication can help her recover faster?”
“It must be her decision. Dragging her there will make it worse.” Nyk stroked Nicky's abdomen. “His belly's good and full. Let's see if this holds him 'til morning. Good night, Yasuko.” He headed up the stairs.
* * *
Dawn's first light roused Nyk. Beside him Suki was sitting, holding Nicky to her left breast. “Good morning,” he said.
She eyed him. “I'm sticking to our bargain. You feed him at night, and I'll do it in daylight.” She picked up a washcloth, placed it on her shoulder and held Nicky to it. Then, she offered him her right breast.
Nyk slipped his arm around her and leaned to kiss her cheek. She pulled away. “I'm going to take my shower,” he said.
He returned from the bathroom. Suki was holding Nicky. “He has your dark, dark eyes.”
Suki glanced up at him. “I don't know what's wrong with me. I wonder what I'm doing with this ... thing.”
“I'll give him his bath and take him down to your mom,” Nyk said and took Nicky from her. She lay on her side and pulled the bedcovers up to her chin.
Nyk retrieved a plastic tub, set it in the bathtub and filled it. He propped Nicky in the tub, sponged him off, dried him, applied a fresh diaper and slipped him into clean clothes. “I'm on my way to see Seymor,” he said to Suki as she lay in bed. “I'll see you tonight.”
She wiped tears from her face. “You must hate me, now. I'm such a miserable parent.”
“I don't hate you. It tears me apart to see you suffering. Suki, there's no shame in asking for some help. If I make an appointment for you to see your doctor, will you come?” She looked away from him. “This isn't your fault, and I'm sure this isn't how you want to be. Think about it.” Nyk headed down the stairs and could hear her sobbing in the bedroom.