by neetha Napew
“So, you're recommending I prostitute myself.”
“On the contrary. I'm recommending you follow your feelings. Senta isn't evil, Suki. She'd make a good friend. How you two might express such friendship is not my affair.”
“I'll think about it. How's Mom doing?”
“Better today. She wants to visit Ground Zero. I'd rather stay away from it. The stench -- sometimes you can smell it here in Queens.”
“If I were her -- I'd want to go.”
“With the City shut down, there's not much to do but hang around and play with Nicky. Yasuko seemed calmer today.”
“Nykkyo -- please watch her for the next few days. She is Japanese.”
“So are you.”
“No -- she's a real Japanese. She may decide she'd rather join me and Daddy. I couldn't live with myself if that happened.”
“I've been wrestling with whether or not to take her into our confidence. It might be easier for her if she knew you were all right. But, I don't know if I can take the risk. We are absolutely forbidden to reveal our true nature to the native population. I wouldn't have told you if I hadn't been forced by circumstances.”
“I understand. I'll leave that decision to you. In the meantime -- please watch her. If she seems suddenly calmer -- it could be a sign she's reconciled herself to the deed. I know what I'm talking about, Nykkyo.”
“All right, I'll keep an eye on her.”
“Thanks.” Suki yawned. “I'm getting sleepy, so maybe I'll switch this thing off.”
“I'll call again tomorrow, korlyta.” He kissed his fingers and pressed them to the camera. Suki responded with the same. “I miss you.”
“I miss you, too. Bon'noka, Nykkyo.”
“Bon'noka.” The screen went dark.
Nyk closed up the laptop and set it on the table. He looked in on Nicky and then returned to his bed and listened to the night sounds of the city. Thoughts intruded, and the image of the aircraft crashing into the buildings was burned into the backs of his eyes. These he tried to turn away.
He heard the sound of movement in the house below. Nyk slipped into his robe and crept down the stairs. In the dim light he saw Yasuko in her sky-blue kimono, kneeling on the living room carpet. Before her was the tanto unsheathed. She lifted her face and with her left hand, felt her neck. Then, she picked up the dagger.
“Yasuko -- what are you doing?” She jumped and dropped the knife. Nyk walked around to face her. Tears began to flow down her cheeks. “What is the matter with you people?” he asked. “First Suki tried to kill herself -- twice, no less -- and now you.”
“Oh, Nick -- I can't go on like this. They were my whole world -- my whole life. I can't go on without them.”
“But you have them,” he replied. He touched his breast. “They're here.”
“When that airplane hit, my heart turned to stone.”
“Yasuko -- they're with us in this house. Nicky is half Suki -- and a quarter George. They both live on in him -- and he needs you.” He knelt and held her. “I need you.”
She held onto him as she sobbed. He kissed the top of her head and she relaxed her grip. Nyk picked up the tanto and slipped it into its sheath.
“Help me up,” she said. He grasped her upper arm and lifted her. As she stood he saw she had tied her kimono belt around her knees. “This is the traditional way for a woman.” She untied the belt. “She binds her legs so she isn't found in an undignified posture.” Nyk held her again, caressing the back of her head as she wept. “Nick -- please sleep with me tonight.”
* * *
Nykkyo carried Nicky into the living room. Yasuko was working on something on a table. “Good morning, Grandma,” he said. She looked up. Nicky reached for her and she took him.
Nyk examined the objects on the table -- a pair of frames. He turned them over and saw photo portraits of Suki and George. “It's a beautiful one of Suki,” he said. “When was this taken?”
“It was her high school senior picture.”
“She hasn't changed much.” He looked at her. “I'll bet you were as pretty as she when you were this age.”
“I'm afraid not, Nick.” She handed Nicky to him. “I was prettier,” she said and smiled.
“I'm glad to see you smile again, Yasuko.”
She picked up the photographs. “I knew I had some frames in the basement.” She carried them to the wall where the crest had hung. “I think they'd look good here -- in place of that damned knife. Here, Nick -- give me a hand hanging them.”
Nyk took down the tanto and short sword and pulled their hooks out of the wall. He picked up nails and a hammer, measured the spots and pounded them in. “There -- oops, I think George's is a little low.”
“It's fine, Nick.” He picked up the dagger and sword. “Where are you going with those?”
“I'm going to put them away -- in a safe place. Yasuko?”
“Yes?”
“Will you be all right?”
“I think so.”
Epilogue -- Just You and Me
“Ok, buddy -- blow them all out,” Nyk said to Nicky. He cut the cake and served pieces to the children seated around the kitchen table.
“He's turning into a fine little man,” Yasuko said. “You do such a good job with him. You're either a natural -- or -- you've done this before.”
“Neither. It's all strictly OJT.”
The book of matches she used to ignite the candles fell from her hands. “Nick -- could you pick that up? My back is bothering me.”
“Certainly...” He picked up the object and handed it to her.
“Thanks... OJT? I don't know that expression.”
“On-the-job training. There are many times I find myself asking, “What would Suki do?”
* * *
Nyk lay on his back, his head propped on pillows and his laptop computer on his stomach.
“...So, what would you do?”
“I don't know,” Suki replied. “That's the trouble with kids -- they don't come with instruction manuals. I think he's too young for camp.”
“If it were overnight, I'd agree -- but this is a day camp. The bus will pick him up in the morning and drop him off in the afternoon.”
“I don't agree with parents who attempt to raise superkids -- pushing them into these activities before they're ready.”
“He'll be competing against superkids.”
“He'll compete his whole life against others who are smarter or stronger -- or, just more aggressive.”
“I was a dumber, weaker, less aggressive kid who could've benefited from day camp at his age.”
“I'm even less patient with parents who feel the need to live vicariously through their children.”
He gazed at her for a moment. “Of course -- you're right. On the other hand, if he goes to camp, it'll give your mom a break during the day. She's doing a yeoman's job with him, Suki -- but I believe she's tired. And, she has paid her dues in this regard, already. It's only for two weeks...”
“Do what you think is best,” she replied.
“If we send him, now's the time to pick a camp and get him enrolled.” He slipped a disk into his laptop computer. “I have some more photos -- here's another of Nicky blowing out the candles.” He pressed some keys.
“Six candles,” Suki replied. “I can't believe it. If I were on Earth, I'd print these and stick them on the refrigerator.”
“Print them and stick them on the door to the stasis cabinet, then.”
“Nykkyo -- it means so much that you keep me in the loop regarding Nicky -- more than I can express.” She kissed her fingers, pressed them to the camera and Nyk reciprocated.
“I promised you.”
“I know you did. It still means a lot to me that you ask my advice -- and listen to it.”
“You have an advantage -- you've been an Earth kid and I haven't.”
“No -- you have the advantage -- you've been a boy and I haven't. You and Nicky have more in common being male than he and
I ever could.”
“I'll keep my other promise -- once Nicky is grown and on his own, I will join you -- and never leave.”
“I know you will -- Destiny permitting.”
He lay gazing at her image. “How do you like my new laptop?”
“What's different?”
“This one has a built-in high-speed wireless network. I can take it anywhere -- to the park or the cafe -- and be in touch with you. It also has a built-in camera -- no more clunky clip-on.”
“I thought it was a better picture of you. You're looking good.”
“You're looking good, too,” he said.
“I am good. I'm happy -- happier than I thought I would be. I must tell you about my position at the university -- I've been offered the department chair.”
“Chairman?”
“Yes, Nykkyo -- Chair of the History Department! I couldn't believe it -- I could never have made chair at an Earth college so quickly and at my age.”
“Congratulations. I wonder -- why are the women in my life so much more successful than I am?”
“Agent-in-Chief is nothing to sneeze at,” she replied. “I was so proud of you when you told me.”
“What does this mean for your department?”
“I can't believe how our program has taken off. Once word got around about my course -- applications to Sudal University doubled -- the school could afford to admit better students. Then, the better students began to attract better professors. Now, the school is admitting only the very best students. We're no longer a second-rate backwater. The students here are wonderful -- I've made lifelong friends of some. And, I'm being courted by the Academy of Arts and Sciences in Floran City.”
Nyk whistled. “The Academy... Are you going to take it?”
“And leave Andra? Not on your life. I love her so much, Nykkyo. We truly are sister lovers.”
“Make Andra part of the package.”
“There's no sea research program in Floran City.”
“She could start one.”
“She's too loyal to the one here. She's staying put, and so am I. I love Sudal, and I love the people here.”
“Sudal University doesn't need to know that.”
Suki smiled. “No, they don't.”
“Do you feel assimilated?” he asked.
“I am becoming accustomed to the stares.”
“No one resembling you has walked the face of that world in thousands of years.”
“Andra and I were in Sudal the other day. It's a good thing the groundcars are all automated.” She giggled. “I think we would've caused a pileup, otherwise.”
“An Asian and an ax'amfin walking the streets of Sudal. You must've looked like yin and yang.”
“Oh, Nykkyo -- when can you visit again? I live for those days we can be in each other's arms. So does Andra.”
“There's an Agency Oversight Committee meeting coming up in a few weeks. Now that I'm Agent-in-Chief I can pick and choose which ones to attend. There was a time I wouldn't attend any. Now, I'll choose to go to them all -- so we can be together.”
“I'll tell Andra. You know this means we'll have another argument over which of us gets to sleep with you first. Last time we drew lots. Andra won.”
“But, you slept with me the first night.”
“She insisted.”
He chuckled. “That's an argument Floran-style.” He gazed at her image more.
“I don't want to hang up,” she said, “but I should be getting some sleep. I must go to Floran City in the morning.”
“To the Academy?”
“No -- to the ExoAgency. They want to talk to me about revamping their training program. I really should go.”
Nyk nodded. “Care for some phone sex?”
* * *
Yasuko stepped into the kitchen and sat across from Nyk. “Nicky's on the bus,” she said.
“Having him in kindergarten frees up your mornings, Yasuko. You can start to relax and enjoy your golden years.”
“Nick -- there's something I must tell you. I was going to yesterday, but I didn't want to put a damper on Nicky's birthday.”
“What is it?”
“You know my back has been bothering me.”
“Yes...”
“I went to the doctor yesterday morning. He wants me to go in for some tests. I'm sorry, Nick -- I didn't want to interfere with your work schedule, but I'll be in the hospital for a few days.”
“Don't worry about it -- my office can run without me for a few days.”
* * *
Nyk sat in a waiting area. The door to Yasuko's hospital room was closed. He kept one eye on the room and the other on Nicky as he flipped through picture books. Some hospital staff stepped from Yasuko's room.
Nyk picked up Nicky and sat him in a chair. “You sit here and look at your books. I must have a word with Grandma. Okay?”
“Okay, Dad.”
He patted the boy on the head and stepped into Yasuko's room. “Well?”
“It's not good news, Nick. It's cancer.”
“Cancer?”
“Yes -- it started in my colon. Now it's spread. The pain in my back is caused by tumors in my muscles and bones.”
“Can they do anything for you?”
She shook her head. “The prognosis is terminal. With surgery, chemo and radiation therapy, they think they can slow it down so I'll last a couple of years.”
“Without treatment?”
“Six months -- maybe eight. It's an aggressive case.”
He moved a chair close to her. “What are you going to do?”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing?”
“No -- why put myself through the agony of surgery and chemotherapy when the end result is the same? Why prolong the inevitable?”
“Because every extra day is another you're with us.”
“But -- at what cost? A life must be worth living, Nick. To be cut up and crippled -- to have my insides burned by chemicals and radiation -- isn't a life I wish to live.”
“I was being selfish, Yasuko. Of course -- you must deal with this however you feel best.”
“Someone from the hospice will be coming by later to speak with me about palliative care. They can do wonders with pain management these days. I should be able to be productive until ... until six weeks or so from the end.” A tear ran down her face. “I am sorry, Nick. I shouldn't be leaving you. You have your hands full with your work and your travel and all, and Nicky needs a woman's influence.”
“It's not your fault.”
“It is -- I neglected my own health, and now I'm paying the penalty.”
“No -- don't blame yourself, Yasuko. You've been following the path Destiny traced for you. From here it gets rocky.”
“What will you tell Nicky?”
“I don't know.”
“Don't keep it from him, Nick -- don't sugar coat it. He needs to learn something about life and death from this.”
“Is he old enough to comprehend?”
“No -- but that shouldn't stop him.” She grasped his hand. “Birth and death have become so clinical in this country. I don't want to die in a place like this. I want to be in my home, surrounded by the people and things I love.”
“Nicky has learned much from you -- as have I. How you want your illness managed is up to you. I'll make sure your desires are accommodated.”
* * *
Nyk sat at his laptop computer and accessed his private data store. Koichi's genealogy appeared on the screen. He scrolled through it. Yasuko Kyhana nee Tanaka. Born, Hiroshima Japan, November 20, 1943. Died New York, New York, June 7, 2007. He placed a vidphone call.
“Nykkyo!”
“Hello, korlyta. We're home from the hospital.”
“I'm still reeling from the news. How's she doing?”
“They gave her some pain medication and she's back to her chipper self.”
“Did they say how long?”
“The doctors think six to eight m
onths -- but I know from...”
“Don't you dare recite any of that damned genealogy to me, Nykkyo. You once told me a glimpse into the future was a gift. Now, I know it's a curse. There are things in life we're better off not knowing.”
“Whatever you wish, korlyta.” He heard the doorbell. “That must be the hospice nurse. I'll talk to you later.” The vidphone session went dark.
A thirty-something woman stepped into the living room. “I'm Janet. I'm with the hospice program at the hospital.”
“I'm Nick Kane -- Mrs Kyhana's son-in-law. Pleased to meet you.”
“When people think of hospice, they think of a building -- like a hospital. Our program is different.”
“I have no preconceptions,” he replied. “I hadn't heard the word before now.”
She smiled. “Mrs Kyhana has drafted a living will instructing no resuscitation or extraordinary treatment.” Nyk nodded. “The goal of our program is to make the patient as comfortable as possible -- both physically and emotionally -- as their disease progresses to its ultimate conclusion. It is our approach to regard the whole family as patients in the process.”
Nyk nodded again.
“Mrs Kyhana's treatment will be a progressively aggressive pain management regimen. We'll start with some mild oral medication and ramp up as needed. We began the treatment during her confinement, and so far she has responded well.”
“She has seemed more herself the past few days.”
“I will be coming around on a regular basis to check on her progress. When we reach the end stages, I may find myself here all day.”
“She wishes to die in her own home,” Nyk said.
“We will do everything possible to honor that wish.”
* * *
Yasuko sat in a reclining chair in the living room. “I'm getting weaker,” she said to Nyk. “I can feel my stamina ebbing.”
“Janet will be here shortly. I've also asked Seymor to come by. He has the final draft of your will. He and Janet can witness it.”