“I know you’ve wondered why I was so heated about the your church.”
“Not mine,” I reminded him reflexively.
“Well anyway, this is why. Two years ago, my wife started attending Relief Society meetings. She told me it was just a chance to get together with some other women once in a while, over in Rawlins. Next thing I knew, she up and joined the church. I still didn’t know it wasn’t just regular Mormons. So, I didn’t object, but when she wanted me to go, I told her I had no interest.
I guess I should have gone. Six months later, she told me she wanted a divorce. That’s when I learned she planned to marry someone high up in the local RALDS hierarchy, and that he was already married to three other women. I contested the divorce, but Wyoming is a no-fault state. I couldn’t stop her from divorcing me, only from taking anything in settlement or alimony. That’s why all her things are still here.”
I listened to this story with growing astonishment. I didn’t even know the Church had a branch community near here. And the chance that I would run from them, have a near-fatal accident and be rescued by another of their victims was astronomically unlikely, even if the states I traveled through were riddled with Mormons, of all stripes. I closed my eyes to process the information, and what it might mean for me and my future. Russ’s arms came around me and pulled me into his lap, and soft kisses warmed my eyelids. “Kitten? Say something.”
“I…I don’t know what to say. This is all crazy.”
“I know, it’s like fate, isn’t it?”
“I don’t know if I would call it fate. Irony maybe. Russ, I need to get out of your hair and out of your life.” My heart broke as I said it, but what kind of relationship could we build on a crazy coincidence and hot monkey sex? It all seemed clear to me now. His fascination with me was a reaction to his wife’s betrayal. When would he wake up and not want me anymore? As the thought emerged, he spoke as if in answer.
“What? No! Kitten, I want you to stay here.”
“I don’t think I can.” I knew I couldn’t, and it was ripping me apart inside. I couldn’t stay, but how could I leave him?
His arms tightened around me. “Well, you have to for a few days. There’s another norther blowing out there, and no one’s leaving here until it’s safe.” The most curious emotion went through me then. While my mind protested the obvious, my heart leapt at the forced opportunity to be with Russ a little longer. However, there were so many other questions to ask, and I needed to prepare myself for verbal battle over the next few days so he would let me go when the storm blew over. But, for now I was too weary to deal with any of it. I needed to think, to process and mostly to sleep.
“Russ, I’d like to lie down on the sofa and take a nap.” My voice was weak, but he heard me. Standing up with me still in his arms, he strode over to the sofa, laid me down on it gently, and then retrieved the afghan to lay over me. I loved his tender care of me too much. The questions circled around again. How could I leave? And yet, how could I stay? Miserably, I turned over and curled into the soft, worn leather cushions.
“Sleep well, Kitten. I’ll wake you for dinner.”
Chapter 9
As much as I longed for it, sleep eluded me, though I kept my eyes closed in the hope that I’d drop off sooner or later. Again and again, I went over the events that led to my being here. Most of all, I puzzled over the meaning of Russ’s words about wanting me to stay. Did he mean for a while, or for a forever I couldn’t even contemplate? And why? Either way, it didn’t make sense, any more than it made sense for me to have fallen in love with him over a few short days.
Young as I was, naive as I was, I still had a reasonably intelligent head on my shoulders, and it told me that things didn’t happen this way. Either he had an ulterior motive, or what he felt was based on something that wouldn’t sustain a relationship. Much as I longed to know that I could have his arms around me for as long as I wanted, I would rather walk away from it now than count on it only to have it snatched away by reality later.
As I finally drifted to sleep, it occurred to me that I hadn’t asked most of my questions. I could surmise a few things, but if I confirmed them, it would mean that there was no choice but to leave as soon as possible. Russ was the owner of this place, which meant he was older than he looked, or his fairy godmother had gifted it to him, after the princess ran away with her glass slippers. As the milkmaid, I couldn’t hope to win his love. My jumbled dreams spun answers, each sillier than the last.
A soft touch on my arm woke me with a start. A voice was whispering, “Wakey, wakey, Kitten. Dinner’s ready. Did you sleep well?” Disoriented, I stared at him for several seconds without recognition, before the real world clicked into place, banishing the dream one. Russ’s face was near mine, and I smiled into his impossibly blue eyes as I mumbled, “I dreamed you were the handsome prince.”
He smiled back. “You can dream whatever you want as long as it’s about me,” he said. That was when all my hesitation came rushing back. Then I frowned.
“No, Russ, this is crazy. Look, we have to talk.” If he insisted on being charming and lovable, I would just have to take the bull by the horns and be the bad guy. Always outspoken, even when it had earned me punishment, I could no longer sit back and have my future dictated by a near stranger, not even one as handsome, charming and sexy as Russ White, cattle rustler and rancher extraordinaire. Did I remember something about his godmother gifting this ranch to him? How did I know that? Oh, no—that was the dream.
§
The ranch hands were digging into platters piled high with fried chicken when Russ and I came into the room, hand in hand because he insisted. The first man to see us dropped open a mouth full of chicken, causing the rest to turn to see what he was looking at. Instant quiet flooded the room. I seemed to have a bad influence on the socializing among these co-workers, and it both embarrassed and distressed me. I wished they would just pay me no attention at all. Russ grasped my hand tighter.
“She knows, boys. As you were.”
Suddenly the room erupted in laughter, catcalls and questions about his intentions toward me from the men, all of whom called him Boss. It was too much. Yanking my hand from his, I turned and fled. The noise grew even louder as I retreated once again to the library, where Russ found me seconds later.
“Kitten, I’m sorry. The boys are pretty rough, but they mean well. All of that just means they like you.” His eyes pleaded with me to understand and accept.
“How can they like me? They hardly know me.”
“They like you because they can see I’m happy for the first time since Denise left. Please come back and eat with us. We’re really one big family, you’ll see.” If the irony of the phrase ‘big family’ was lost on him, I wasn’t going to bring it up. I’ve lived among big families, bigger than most. It isn’t all hearts and flowers. At his urging, I reluctantly returned to the dining room, where the men were now on their best behavior under Janet’s glare. My guess was that she had threatened to withhold dessert if they scared me off again.
All kept their heads down and their attention on their plates as Russ seated me beside his place and sat down. It gave me the opportunity to look more closely at them than I had on the previous occasions we had shared this table. I reckoned they ranged from about eighteen to nearly sixty. All were dressed similarly to Russ, in jeans and plaid flannel shirts. Some had colorful bandannas folded or rolled and knotted around their necks, and a hat rack in the corner had been specially built to accommodate two dozen Stetsons. I guessed that their footwear would all be cowboy boots.
What had brought these particular men together under Russ’s employ? Why were they so loyal to him, yet so familiar? How did Russ see me fitting into this virtually all-male society, Janet’s company excepted? No, I wouldn’t go there. There was no way I could stay here, no matter how much I might want to. But I still wanted some answers. Leaving didn’t necessarily mean never seeing Russ again, I hoped.
After dinner, I
declined Janet’s offer of apple pie and ice cream, and went back to the library, with Russ on my heels. My unhappiness showed, and for once I wasn’t upset that Russ could read me. I wanted him to start talking first.
“Kitten, you have to tell me what’s wrong. Why are you being this way?” His troubled gaze, his hand on mine and his insistent voice just made it more difficult to get it out, though.
“Russ, I can’t tell you how grateful I am that you were there and that you saved my life. Thank you for treating my hypothermia. Thank you for bringing me here to keep safe until this next storm blows over. But, I don’t understand what you want of me. Besides the sex, that is. Thank you for that, too, it’s been amazing.” My face was flaming as I said the last. I didn’t want him to think I hadn’t enjoyed it, because I had. Boy, had I.
Russ regarded me steadily. How I wished I could read his face as easily as he read mine. I was afraid he wouldn’t answer me, or that I wouldn’t like the answer. But it didn’t matter, because my mind was made up anyway, no matter what answers I got.
“Isn’t it obvious? Charity, fate brought us together. I want you to stay with me because I don’t want to lose you.” Sighing, I closed my eyes, only to hear him command, “Look at me. Tell me you don’t feel something for me, too, because I think you do.”
I couldn’t lie to him, even if I wanted to, and I owed him the truth. “I do feel something, Russ, but don’t you see how crazy that is? We’ve known each other for what, three days? No one falls in love that fast. What we feel is driven by a shared bad experience and some pretty amazing sex. That’s all. We’ll get over it.”
I should have left that last bit off. His stormy look was back, and his eyes darkened as he growled, “I don’t want to get over it.”
I put my hand on his cheek and said, as gently as I could, “I don’t either, Russ, but what happens when one of us wakes up and is over it? We have nothing to base a relationship on. It won’t work.”
“I’ll make you change your mind.” His low, sexy voice woke up the fire within me, and for a moment I wanted nothing more than to change my mind.
“I doubt it. But I don’t want to argue. You say I’m stuck here until this part of the storm blows over. Let me get to know you. Tell me something about yourself.” I deliberately kept my voice light, and smiled brightly to distract him from looking at me so hungrily. It really wouldn’t do to have Janet come in and find us going at it like minks. Russ relaxed a little.
“What do you want to know? Besides how it feels to be cuckolded by a man twenty years older than me with three other wives.” My heart went out to him.
“Oh, god, Russ, that must be awful. But I want to know about you and this ranch, and your men. Tell me how you came to own it. Wait, first tell me how old you are.”
“Why, I’m twenty-eight. Haven’t I ever said?” He looked at me dubiously, as if I were trying to put one over on him.
“No, I don’t think you have. Aren’t you really young to own a spread like this?”
“Yeah, I guess so, but I was raised on a cattle ranch. In fact, my parents live not too far from here, and our land is adjacent to each other’s. I inherited this ranch from friends of my parents. They never had children, and they were my godparents. When she died, the ranch came to me.” As I threw my head back and laughed in helpless glee, Russ gave me a shocked look and said, “What? What’s funny?” I was too overcome with the giggles to answer him for the longest time.
And when I did, all I could say was, “You got it from your fairy godmother,” and then went off into more peals of laughter. I was gasping for breath when he took me by the arms and kissed me, hard. That sobered me instantly, and before I could school my body, I responded fiercely to his kiss. After a moment, he thrust me away from him.
“Now. Tell me what was so damned funny.” He didn’t seem angry, but his voice was firm. There was also a dangerous look in his eyes that said I’d better answer him or face the consequences.
“Nothing. It’s too silly.” He kept his eyes on me, saying nothing and obviously expecting an answer, a muscle in his jaw twitching as if he were clenching his teeth. “Oh, all right. Don’t be mad, Russ. When I was trying to go to sleep earlier, I was wondering about how you could own such a big ranch when you look so young, and as I drifted off, the thought came to me that someone had given it to you. I was beginning to dream, I guess, and ‘fairy godmother’ was what my dream made of it. Then you turned into a handsome prince, and the princess ran away in her glass slippers.”
“You’ve got quite an imagination, there, Kitten,” he said, frowning slightly at my whimsy. “What happened then? Were you the princess?”
“No, I was the milkmaid, and I knew you could never love me.”
Shaking his head in negation, he told me firmly, “There’s where you’re wrong. I’ve been in love, and I know what it feels like. I do love you. What can I do to convince you?”
“Oh, Russ, you’ve got to stop saying that. Be practical. Think about the legal trouble I’m in, if nothing else. For all you know, I may have to do seven years in an Arizona prison for grand theft auto. I need to get my act together before I can think of a relationship, can’t you see that?” My heart was torn in two, half of me wanting to believe that this was real, that Russ would always want me and I could be with him forever. The other half knew it was impossible, for the reasons I stated.
“All I can see is a beautiful woman that God put in my hands to protect. I’m going to do exactly that, whatever it takes. We’ll deal with the legal problems as soon as we can, and I’d bet my left nut that it won’t mean any worse than probation for you, if that. Certainly not seven years in prison.” His mouth was set in stubborn lines, showing me that he was used to having his way.
“But Russ, I have no money, no home, no job. I don’t even have clothes on my back that belong to me. I need to borrow some money and get to my mom’s, where I can figure it all out. Get a job, then maybe turn myself in.” If Russ couldn’t be practical, I had to be. Surely he could see how unreasonable he was being.
“We’ll take care of that as soon as we can, too. I’ll clear out Denise’s stuff and buy you some clothes of your own. And this is your home as long as I can persuade you to stay. The one thing I won’t do is loan you money to leave me.” He could not have shocked me more if he had slapped me. This sounded a little too much like what I had thought of him two days previously, when I thought I was his prisoner. It made me instantly angry.
“We’ll see about that. I’m leaving and you can’t stop me. I’ll call the police.” How I thought I’d do that was immaterial when my temper was at full boil.
The thundercloud was back in his dark, stormy eyes, his face set in lines of determination. “Go ahead and try. The phone lines are never reliable in a blizzard. But I suggest you think about that very carefully. Because if the posse you think is after you is in fact in the area, they will have already contacted the police in Rawlins. Do you want to be turned over to them?”
Adrenaline coursed through my body, causing me to shake uncontrollably. I was well and truly trapped between the proverbial rock and hard place.
I had no answer for Russ, or none that I needed to verbalize. His self-satisfied grin at my silence told me he knew he had me beat. I couldn’t risk being put in the custody of the RALDS. I had escaped for now, but if they ever got hold of me again, there wouldn’t be a second time. I’d spend my life as a virtual slave to older sister-wives, forced to bed the patriarch of the family and bear as many children as I could before my body wore out and someone younger was brought in to replace me in that role. It was too dreadful to consider.
“You win,” I said, infuriated. “But stay out of my room. I suppose you’ll want me to move to a different bedroom now.” Even in defeat, I made demands like a spoiled brat. Demands that I knew I couldn’t, didn’t even want to enforce. But the satisfaction Russ showed got my back up. I wasn’t going to be bullied.
“You’ll stay where you are. I
f you truly don’t want me to come to you there, I’ll stay in my own room. But, Kitten,” he added with a dangerous look in his eye, “don’t forget I can read your mind.”
Turning my face away from him, I answered coolly, “I think I’d like that apple pie, now. I’m going to see if Janet is still in the kitchen.” As I walked away, I whirled and said, “And you tell her to let me help around here. I want to earn my keep.”
I could have sworn I heard him say as I passed through the door, “As you wish, Buttercup.”
When I walked into the kitchen, I was muttering, “Really? He’s quoting the Princess Bride?” What surprise was this man going to throw at me next?
Janet was just finishing up the clearing away. I asked meekly if I could have the pie, now, and with her usual good cheer, she served me a piece, along with a large helping of vanilla ice cream and a cup of hot tea. “Did you have a nice talk with the boss?”
I regarded her with suspicion. Had she heard any of our conversation? “Janet, what did he tell you about me?”
“Just that he found you in a ditch. He came riding back here hell bent for leather and yelled at Hank to take care of Hurricane, jumped in the pickup and tore back out of here like a pack of wolves was after him. We didn’t know what the hell was going on until you two showed up yesterday afternoon. What happened?”
I supposed it would do no harm to tell her. My situation was going to be well known before it was over with, anyway, there was no getting around it. “I hit some black ice and went into the ditch. I guess he saw me and pulled me out. But he did say he was on a horse and had to come for the pickup. Janet, how could that be? He said it took him a couple hours to make the round trip, but I’d swear it was more than two hours from the cabin where we took shelter to here, even in the pickup.” My earlier curiosity returned in spades. I hoped Janet would answer truthfully, no matter how loyal she was to her boss.
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