When I could speak, I said, “Russ.”
He put his hand over my mouth, and with an intensity that matched mine, said, “No, it’s my turn. I know you don’t believe me, but I love you, too.” He gave me a little shake as he said that. Then, “I want you to stay with me. I’ll take care of you, you’ll have everything you need, I promise, Kitten. We’ll bring in a tutor if you want an education, please let me do this for you. I’m a wealthy man, maybe more than you suspect, and I can give you anything your heart desires. But, know this. God gave you to me, and I have no intention of giving you up.”
All I could do was gape at him. When had God come into this?
Russ’s ability to read me startled me again when he explained. “If I hadn’t been there, hadn’t seen you go in, you would have died, Kitten. I almost didn’t find you from the road, and I knew where you were. When I did manage to get you out, and picked you up to carry you to the pickup, something happened. I can’t explain it, but I knew then that you were mine. That God had sent you to heal my heart.
“You asked why I didn’t take you to Rawlins? Because they would have taken you from me. I needed a chance for you to know me and like me. So that I could get to know you, because all I had was this uncanny feeling that you were mine. Can you understand?”
No, not even a little bit. What he was talking about was love at first sight, and I didn’t believe in it. It was for fairy tales and romance novels, not for real life. To entrust my heart to such a thing was to beg for disaster. Tears started in my eyes at the impossibility of the situation. I had fallen for him in what must have been record time, it was true. For that reason, I couldn’t bear to hurt him.
And yet, when he woke up from his delusion, would he still love me? I thought it was doubtful, for many reasons. But now, he was holding me to him, murmuring, “Don’t cry, love. Kitten, please don’t cry. It will be okay, I promise.” It only made me cry harder.
There were no tears left when at last he calmed me. Russ talked more, persuading me to stay at least until we could sort out my legal situation, and making me promise that no matter what after that, I wouldn’t shut him out. He stood, satisfied for the moment, and told me he was going to speak to Janet.
“Wait. Russ, I’m sorry. There’s one last thing I need to know to keep those promises. You said you knew I was yours, but before that you told me you didn’t know who I was, and that you disguised your identity to protect yourself from me. How do those two facts match up?”
He sat down again, hard, as if dropping into the sofa instead of seating himself there. It seemed to take an effort to look at me, but finally he did, his blue eyes gazing steadily into my green ones earnestly. “Kitten, I’m sorry. Yes, I knew emotionally you were mine, but my head got into it, too. What if I hadn’t been able to make a connection with you? I acted from the logical side instead of from my heart. Can you forgive me?”
It was a small thing to forgive. I now had all my answers, and they all made a sort of sense, except for this uncanny sense of ownership that Russ claimed to feel. Even that was proven in his every action, his every touch.
Remembering that I had accused him of a heinous crime with my first coherent sentence, shame flooded me. Of course I could forgive him! I nodded, and received a feather-light kiss on my forehead to seal the deal. Later, when I could do it in an even more intimate moment, I would ask his forgiveness for my accusation, but I sensed that I already had it.
§
A few minutes later, Janet appeared in the doorway, drying her hands on her apron. “Miss Charity, may I have a word with you?”
“Of course, Janet. And you don’t have to call me ‘Miss’ Charity. Charity alone is fine. What can I do for you?”
Janet’s entire demeanor was one of conflict. She stood stiffly, but her face betrayed both softness and a determination to get something off her chest.
“Do you mind if I sit down?”
“Of course not! Good heavens, this is your home, not mine! Why would you need permission?”
Sighing, she said, “I’m not sure you understand anything about the boss, or this place, or me, but…” I waited for her to continue, which she did, in a rush, “he’s told me how he feels and I need to apologize.”
“Whatever for? You’ve been nothing but kind since I arrived, Janet.” My distress matched hers, for I began to suspect that Russ had called her down for something that didn’t deserve his notice.
“Miss Charity,” she began, and at my severe look, she continued, firmly, “Miss Charity, when he first brought you here, I thought you were just what you seemed to be, someone in need of rescue that he had found. But then, suddenly you were wearin’ Miss Denise’s clothes and Russ seemed awful taken with you. He’s like a son to me.” Her face had taken on an earnest and fond look. “Please forgive me, but I just meant to protect him. He says you didn’t know.”
“Didn’t know what?” I was completely confused, since the things I didn’t know before he told me were not things that could harm him if I knew them.
“That he’s rich. I mean, really, really rich.”
“And why would it matter that I didn’t know?” I was still confused, but beginning to get a cold feeling up my spine that it might matter a lot.
“Well, you wouldn’t be the first woman to come sniffin’ around him to comfort him for Miss Denise’s betrayal and try to worm your way into his affections.”
There it was. She thought I was a gold-digger! Despite my intention to be gracious, I was furious. I fought for control to keep from snarling some venomous reply, and knew from her expression that I wasn’t concealing my anger well.
“Miss Charity, I’m sorry!”
“So am I,” I managed finally, though in tones that would have frozen a Yule log. “What have I done to deserve you thinking that of me, Janet?”
With a flash of defiance, she pressed her lips together. “What?” I demanded.
“Well, you didn’t waste any time gettin’ in bed with him,” she muttered.
“That is none of your business,” I snapped, angrier now than ever. Russ had forced his way into bed with me, against my wishes, I told myself somewhat mendaciously. To be judged a gold-digger because of it was unfair. Clearly, Russ hadn’t told her I was trying desperately to persuade him to let me go when the storm lifted. I should have left it alone, but I was so infuriated at being misjudged that I felt defensive.
“I don’t suppose he’s told you that I’ve asked to leave as soon as the storm lifts, and he won’t hear of it?”
Janet gasped. “Are you sayin’ he’s keepin’ you here against your will? Because to look at the two of you, it sure doesn’t look like it! What are you plannin’?” Great, now she thought I was going to go to the authorities and accuse him of kidnapping.
“Just to get on with my life, Janet, that’s all. I’ve asked Russ to loan me enough money to get to St. Louis where my mother lives. I’ll figure it out from there.”
Her change of attitude left me dizzy. “Oh, no! Miss Charity, you cain’t do that! He loves you!”
For a moment I was speechless. Finally, I said, “Janet, which is it? Am I a gold-digger that shouldn’t be allowed to cozy up to your rich boss, or someone he loves and can’t bear to let go even temporarily? Because, let me tell you, I’ve enough issues to confuse me without your inconsistencies.”
“Oh lord,” she said miserably, “I’ve gone and stuck my foot in it all the way to the ankle. Miss Charity, I came in to apologize for thinkin’ that of you, and now I’ve gone and made it worse. Russ is gonna kill me.”
Although I was hurt, and angry, Janet didn’t deserve to have me, an interloper, get her boss angry with her. Contrite, I impulsively hugged her. “Janet, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I know it’s confusing for you, and it’s confusing for me, too. But I seem to be stuck here, whether I want to be or not. And, god help me, I love him, too. Whoever heard of someone falling in love in two days? I’m so afraid it’s just bonding over a
shared trauma.”
“I don’t know nothin’ about no trauma or whatever you said, Miss Charity, but I know my boy. He loves you true, no matter how long or short he’s known you. Please don’t break his heart. I’m not sure it’ll mend a second time.”
Chapter 11
The storm finally broke again on the second day after Russ made me promise to stay until we could sort out my legal status. Unfortunately, it was a Sunday, and Russ couldn’t reach his lawyer. But, I had cabin fever in a big way, even though Russ had given me the grand tour in the meanwhile. True to his prediction, the storm had been too bad for travel, which meant that I got to make my own bed and feel a bit useful for a change.
When Russ found me doing it, he helped from the other side, and then told me I needed to know how to get around in the house, of which I had seen only a small portion. He led me to the grand front entrance, floored in slate slabs and trimmed in tall pine timbers. The high ceiling put me in mind of the entrance of a two-story house, but Russ explained it was just a traditional one-level rancher design made larger than usual.
To the right, we entered what I would have thought of as a grand ballroom. A huge empty floor was ringed with sofas and groupings of two to three wing chairs, some arranged around low round tables. An enormous fireplace took up an entire wall, and a double door in the opposite wall led into the next room. This turned out to be a formal dining room with a table that looked like it would seat all the hands and then some, but was elegantly draped in silk, the table and chairs of highly polished mahogany.
“Russ,” I asked, “do you entertain everyone in Wyoming when you throw a party?” I was kidding, of course, but he answered seriously.
“No, that was the Hendersons. It was one of the reasons they bought this place, though it was far too big for the two of them. I told you they had no children, didn’t I?” Yes, I thought he had. I nodded.
“Well, they filled their lives with other people and their children. They were older than my parents, and when I was born, Irene became a second mother, or more like a grandmother to me. My childhood was charmed.”
I considered the differences between us, but didn’t want to spoil his mood with comparisons or protestations that we would never work as a couple. We went on through the house, reaching the bedroom wing, but this time he opened each door as we made our way down the long hallway. Bedroom after bedroom, each with beautiful furniture but no occupant, met my eyes. After the seventh or eighth, I had lost count, I asked him, “Russ, what are you going to do with all these rooms? It seems such a waste.”
A haunted look came into his eyes as he answered, “I once thought Denise and I would fill them with children.” Overwhelming compassion for his grief came over me, and I hugged him. He turned a smile on me and said, “I don’t suppose I could persuade you to help me do that.”
My mouth dropped open. “Are you serious?”
“As a heart attack,” he said, an intense gaze making my heart flutter and my brain panic.
“W-w-we just met!” I cried. “This is too much. You’ve got to stop it.” But my heart betrayed me. Children with this beautiful man? I’d love that, wouldn’t I? Doubt of my independent plans crept in, and showed in my face. Instantly, Russ had me pinned to the nearest wall.
“I’ll stop it when you tell me the truth. You want me, you know you do. I want you, too. Why must we follow convention and wait forever? I’d marry you tomorrow if you’d have me.”
A gasp escaped me. It seemed Russ was trying to startle me to death or scare me to death, I didn’t know which. I couldn’t answer him, because it was a statement, not a question.
I couldn’t help but entertain a small thought of how it would look, the stray RALDS girl marrying a wealthy rancher a few days after they met. Not only Janet would think me a gold-digger, but everyone in whatever community existed out here in the middle of Wyoming would think so, too. I’d never live it down. I shook my head, and Russ grabbed my chin to stop me.
“You will not tell me no, Charity. I know better. You can say not yet, but you can’t deny that you want me.” In spite of my weak protests, he kicked the door shut while keeping me pinned. Roughly, he thrust his hand up from the bottom of my shirt and shoved the bra out of his way, grasping the breast in his hand and squeezing. Like a bird that found itself trapped in the hand of a human, I stilled, paralyzed by Russ’s intensity. He kissed me, forcing my lips open and invading my mouth with his tongue, and then with three fingers, pulling my bottom lip down so that he could ravage my mouth.
Despite all my resolve, all my protests, I knew I was lost. I loved every touch this man had for me, but god help me, it was best when he was rough. I nearly swooned with lust when he ripped my shirt open, pushing the bra up over the other breast, too, and attacking my nipples with his teeth and lips. Gasping, I squirmed, trying to achieve purchase as he drove me further up the wall until I could no longer stand firmly on the floor. I threw my arms around his neck and held on for dear life, finally wrapping my legs around his waist.
Russ was panting hard as he lowered me so that I could reach the ground. He used his muscular body to herd me toward the bed. Ripping back the bedspread, he lifted me easily and tossed me atop the sheets, diving onto the bed himself as if his life depended on pinning me there. Holding my body down with his, he took my face in both hands and peered at me intently.
“Kitten, I love you. I will have you.” He kissed me fiercely then, and I was helpless to deny him. In controlled ruthlessness, he finished stripping me, then unbuttoned his jeans and pushed them down. His mouth attacked my breasts again, biting and sucking hard, until the exquisite pain caused me to cry out. With no further preparation, he spread my legs and entered me, thrusting hard to fill me deeply.
To my surprise, I was ready, more than ready. His shaft slipped easily into my moist cavern, and the masterful thrust set off the first orgasm. He covered me, bearing down until I could hardly breathe, and surrounding me with his arms on both sides, latching onto my neck with his teeth and tongue and thrusting, oh, what gratifying thrusts! Thrills shot through me each time he slammed his manhood home deep within me. Another orgasm left me shaken, but there was no respite.
Russ drove into me, again, and again, and again, until all thought fled and only red-hot passion remained. With each thrust, I lifted my body into it, willing an even deeper connection. I couldn’t get enough of feeling joined to him, squeezing him inside me, wanting him to fill me without ceasing. I couldn’t breathe deeply enough, but who needed oxygen? I’d live on the energy crackling through me, setting all my nerve endings afire.
Russ slowed, and opened his eyes, holding himself off me on his elbows and cupping my face with both hands now. That stormy blue threatened to drown me, and I couldn’t deny him when he demanded in a low growl, “Say you love me.”
After I gave him the words he wanted, his thrusts turned gentler, though he pushed deeper. Turning me slightly, he knelt above me, holding my body easily with my head down and my ass up, one leg thrown over his arm. This gave him even deeper access, until I thought he’d pierce me through. It was exquisite, triggering another orgasm that he rode out with loud grunts that matched my twitching. At last he released my leg, and without his support I collapsed onto my stomach, pushing him out in the process, but he wasn’t through with me.
Both hands were at my hips, pulling me up to my knees.
“Spread your legs for me, Kitten,” came the deep voice, an order that I had no wish to resist. I moved my knees outward, spreading my legs and exposing every intimate part of me to his gaze, if he was looking. And I was certain he was looking. Russ thrust his hand between my legs, flicking my clit with a thumb moistened in my own juices.
“Oh, my god, Russ, I don’t know how much more I can take,” I gasped, jerkily, between flicks. He didn’t answer, only continued what he was doing until I let my arms, head and shoulders collapse onto the bed, leaving my ass high in the air to beg for the release that I needed again. That was whe
n he thrust his rock-hard shaft into me again, pulling me onto it with both hands on my hips again, and thrusting his hips forward to meet me. Yet another orgasm rocked me, and I realized I was sobbing with the intensity.
I didn’t know how long I had been sobbing, how many orgasms I’d had, and by this time, not even whether it was night or day. Nothing came before this moment, and nothing would come after. It was one perfect series of moments, suspended in time, with this man’s expert fucking lifting me to a higher plane where I could fly like an angel.
Turning me once more, Russ positioned himself between my legs and entered me from the classic missionary position. Finding it less than satisfactory, he pulled a pillow over and lifted me bodily, still filled with him, to pull it under my ass.
“Put your legs over my shoulders, Kitten,” he directed. I could barely move them, I was so weak, so he helped me, and then leaned in to deepen his penetration. I couldn’t believe it, but this new angle was once again sending sensations through me that would spiral into another orgasm, I could feel it building already.
Russ pumped strongly, but his breath was coming more rapidly, and his grunts of effort were growing louder. With a prolonged groan, he emptied into me, the warmth flooding me as never before. When at last his release came, I was exhausted from the depth and rapidity of my response, multiple orgasms that seemed to run into one another so that I was gripped in one long eruption. He collapsed on me, and I struggled to breathe, to process what had just happened, and to find my resolve to leave this place within the next few days. When he pulled out, releasing a gush of wet warmth, was the first I realized he hadn’t worn a condom.
“Russ! Oh, my god, you didn’t…” The words wouldn’t come. I just pointed at his flaccid member, causing him to look at it himself, puzzled. Then he got it.
“Oh, shit, Kitten, I’m sorry! Look, it just, I don’t know. Can you forgive me? I haven’t been with anyone since Denise, and I got tested after she left. I’m clean. And you must be, too. You said it had been three or four years, right?”
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