Cosmopolitan Girls

  “I’ve been,” I paused, “uhm, good.”

  “Humph, strangest thing, I dreamt about fishes. I was wondering if it was you.” I shook my head no, but Mama knew, just like all mothers do when their babies aren’t telling the truth. “I’m not happy about this abortion.”

  “Mama—” I tried to interrupt, but my mother shushed me.

  “No, Lindsay, I love you too much to dance around all this. You’re grown, but I birthed you. No more! Do I make myself clear?”

  “Yes, Mama,” I whispered softly.

  “Life is nothing to play around with.”

  I was hoping Mama was done, but she wasn’t.

  “I meant what I said about that Troy stuff. I don’t want another thought wasted on him. Do you read me?”

  “Loud and clear!” I started to cry.

  Mama wiped my face with a stiff napkin.

  “Perfect example of what I mean when I say you waste too much time on the little things.” She paused, then held my face in her hands. “Lindsay, your sister Faith needs us.”

  “What happened, Mama?” My heart skipped.

  “The MS has gotten worse.”

  “What did the doctors say?” I asked.

  “I don’t know. But we’re going to the hospital from here.”

  I sat still in the car. I couldn’t stop crying. Multiple sclerosis was a cruel joke on the body. Thoughts of Faith’s body shutting down, paralyzed to the point of being confined to a wheelchair, filled my head. I understood now more than ever that nothing is promised, and there are no guarantees in life.

  The entire family was in the waiting room when Mama and I arrived. Daddy was so happy to see me he actually lifted me up in the air when we embraced. Daddy was normally a man of few words, but not today.

  “I’m glad you’re home, baby,” he said, hugging me again.

  I had been so distant my family didn’t even expect me to show up, which reinforced what had become clear to me—that I was definitely going down the wrong path. My nieces and nephews greeted me with innocent and tentative affection. My brother-in-law Richard’s face was emotionless. He had to be strong for the kids, but his bear hug told me just how much he was hurting.

  Holding two cups of coffee, Angie entered the waiting room. She wasn’t her usual big-mouthed, brassy self. Today she was weary and softspoken. She looked at me as if she had seen a ghost. I had to be the strong one for a change. We hugged and held each other tight for several minutes.

  “I’m sorry I’ve been such a jerk,” I said.

  “It’s okay. Little sisters are usually jerks,” Angie joked, “but I still love you.”

  Faith was diagnosed primary-progressive. Angie and I stood, one on either side of her bed, each holding one of her hands. Faith was trying hard to speak.

  “Finally, a way to shut you up,” Angie said.

  “I guess Dr. Chang’s magic tea didn’t work too well, and neither did the good folks at Hannah’s Herbal. Man, I’m zero for two with you,” I joked.

  Faith’s laughter triggered a domino effect. We all started laughing and crying all at the same time. Faith had to make us stop because laughing hurt.

  “Look what I have to do, just to see you,” Faith said sarcastically.

  “Yeah, well my facial was canceled, and I had nothing else to do,” I joked.

  Faith lay helpless. Angie got quiet. She always clammed up when she was nervous or scared, sometimes she just burst into tears, and she was on the verge.

  I couldn’t believe how selfish I’d been all this time. My sisters had taken my side in all my complaining and bitching about Robert and held on for dear life through all my relationship roller-coaster rides. Not once had I even asked, How’s your life? Or, How was your day?

  I was trying my best not to break down as I slowly ran a brush through Faith’s thick and wavy hair. Faith motioned for Angie to sit down.

  “I remember when you were a little girl and me and Angie used to brush your hair. Funny, huh?” Faith paused. “Angie and Lindsay, I trust you with everything I own, including my babies. I want you to make sure they’re taken care of if something happens to me.”

  I stopped brushing. I didn’t want her talking like she had been given a death sentence. Angie stood up and grabbed my hand, placing it between hers and Faith’s. Faith wanted both of us to understand that her quality of life was going to change now because of her sickness. The room had become too morbid for me. I quickly changed the subject.

  “Guess what y’all? I finally stood up to Robert, and I’m gonna start relaxing more and making time for myself and my family,” I said, trying to hide my fear.

  “Good, I’m so proud of you, and I’m going to ask God to bring you a good man,” Faith replied with a weak smile.

  I was blown away by Faith’s selflessness. Faith was sick, laid up in the hospital, but still praying for us. I touched Faith’s face. Being with my sisters made me really understand the importance of living each day like it’s your last. With all of life’s uncertainties, the only guarantee is family.

  Chapter 41

  Emancipation Night

  I sashayed into the Shark Bar glowing, hidden behind a large crystal vase of roses with a huge smile on my face. I was about to shock the socks off Charlie with my new look. A chopped-off layered bob. Maria had had a fiesta on my head as she cut, snipped, and teased my once bland and basic do. I was a new woman draped in a lavender pashmina.

  “Would you look at what the cat dragged in,” Charlie said, twirling in her chair.

  “I like to be fashionably late.”

  Charlie pulled out the barstool and relieved me of the flowers.

  “Oh no, you didn’t!” she screeched at the sight of my hair.

  “I needed a change.”

  Charlie was awestruck and Stevie stood lockjawed.

  “There you go. Now you know only white girls pull some mess like this. Cutting their hair off when they need a change.”

  “But that hair is hot, Mami!” Stevie flirtatiously gave his two cents.

  “Okay, okay. I’ll give it to you. The hair is fly.” Charlie raised her glass.

  My metamorphosis was complete. I’d truly gone and gotten a new attitude. Stevie busied himself so Charlie and I could catch up.

  “That time off with your family did you a world of good. You look great.”

  “It was an eye opener.”

  “How’s your sister Faith?”

  “She’s making it. I’m gonna go check her out again next weekend. The doctor’s started her on steroids, but I hope they don’t keep her on those long. She’s a fighter. In the meantime, it’s in God’s hands.”

  “I’ll keep her in my prayers,” Charlie said, trying to peek at the card attached to the flowers. “And the flowers—”

  “A thoughtful gesture from Robert! He was really concerned about my family too.”

  Stevie grabbed a nearby martini glass and tapped a knife lightly against its rim.

  “To Charlie’s first script being completed, a welcome back to Lindsay and her rocking new look, and a speedy recovery to her sister.”

  Charlie interrupted. “I’ve got an announcement. I guess I was being a little too hard on Miranda. I thought she was giving me the runaround, but we finally sat down and it turns out she’d been working things out with HR all this time.”

  “HR?” I said.

  “Yep, to make sure my bonus check was substantial.” Charlie whipped out her bonus check. “Pladow! To getting my drinking partner back! Drinks on me!”

  My cell interrupted. Stevie knew the drill. He reached to turn down the music.

  “Don’t you dare, Stevie.” I casually answered, “Hello?”

  “Lindsay, it’s Robert. I know it’s your personal time, but I’m just calling to make sure your first day back was a good one.”

  “As a matter of fact, it was a great one!”

  “I’m glad to hear that.” Robert gave a thoughtful pause. “By the way, do you or your family need any
thing?”

  “No, but thanks, and the flowers are beautiful.”

  “Oh and FYI, I decided to get rid of Mark Peters. You figure it out.”

  “Are you saying?”

  “Come on, Lindsay, what’s my biggest peeve? If you know the answer to something, don’t ask a stupid question.”

  “Robert, don’t go there.” My voice tightened up.

  “I’m joking. Where’s that great Lindsay sense of humor?” Robert chuckled.

  “I’m sorry I snapped at you.”

  “Look, Lindsay, I just want you to be sharp, be the best.”

  “Robert, you think I don’t want to be the best?”

  “I know you do, and you will be. One last thing . . . I think you’re ready.”

  I gave Charlie and Stevie the thumbs up.

  “No, Robert, I know I’m ready!”

  I gleefully hung up and spun around on my stool. Stevie snapped two rosebuds loose, placing one in my hair, then the other in Charlie’s.

  “Tonight, we dance!” he declared.

  A small group of people leaving the restaurant made their way from the back. Troy stood squarely in the middle. He spotted me right away, and rushed over like we were buddies.

  “Lindsay, I thought that was you.”

  “Yes, it’s me. How are you, Troy?” My face was expressionless as I emphasized his name.

  Stevie and Charlie stood close like guards. Troy felt their cold stares and leaned into me.

  “Can I have a moment with you?”

  I calmly nodded, reached for my drink, and led Troy to a neutral area a few feet away from the bar. My body language told him he was on my territory.

  “I hope she doesn’t give in to him. Look at him, the devil himself,” Stevie said to Charlie.

  “She won’t. I’ll kill her if she does.”

  I couldn’t freak and give in to him. I had to face my fear. “How’ve you been?”

  “Good, actually great,” I abruptly replied.

  In an instant all the crap I’d gone through, right up to the moment the anesthesia took me out, flashed before my eyes. Just thinking about it made me furious. Troy leaned back, sensing my anger. He tilted his head and I was caught mid-blink. Troy looked me up and down, inside and out. “You look great, Lindsay, and I really like your new hair-style.” Troy began to seduce me with those eyes of his. He was penetrating my mind speaking his syrupy sweet bullshit.

  “Baby, I’m sorry things ended so nastily with us.”

  I started to crumble. I took the last sip of my Cosmo, searching for a way back. Troy motioned to Stevie, who growled under his breath, bucking up. Troy was confident, pointing to my empty glass.

  “How about it?”

  “Actually, no. Thanks, I’ve had enough.”

  I was doing my best to hold it together. Resisting his offer was smart, but I was still stuck on his eyes. He tried to stroke my hair, but I jumped back. The spell was broken. He had invaded too much of my personal space. Then Troy did the ultimate. He laughed, just like he did the day I told him about the baby. He laughed real good and said, “Yo, was that stuff about being pregnant true?”

  “What!” The disgust on my face showed exactly what I was thinking, There is no end to this loser’s audacity.

  “It’s just I thought you were lying.” Troy had crossed the line for the last time.

  A boost of strength surged through me and I was ready to knock him out, but something else happened. I was reminded, “You may not change the world, but you can maintain your own dignity and integrity.” That damn book was haunting me with another lecture. I shook it off, but inside my body a showdown between good and evil had erupted. Voices in my head were screaming back and forth, Go for it! Do it! Then, No! Don’t play yourself girl! In an instant I grew up, just like that. I decided to go out with class. I faced my demons like a woman.

  “Are you out of your mind thinkin’ you could have that much nerve saying something so cruel to me? Have you no shame? It was your child too!”

  I didn’t give Troy a chance to utter a word. I wanted to be adult, but I was no punk.

  “You are one sick man. The old Lindsay would be tearing you a new one right about now, but you’re not worth it,” I said, without raising my voice, but Troy could feel my anger and my power. “One day you’re gonna get all you deserve and more, and when karma strikes . . . I feel sorry for anybody with you. So take your lies and get out of my face! Consider yourself lucky. I’m too damn busy to be bothered.”

  I turned my back and proceeded to walk toward Charlie and Stevie. The next thing I knew, Troy was putting his hands on me. He grabbed me by the arm, trying to force me to face him.

  “Don’t you ever turn your back on me!”

  My heart raced. “Negro, you must be crazy. My own father never put his hands on me.”

  Stevie must have overheard me, because like a flash of lightning, he hopped over the bar and snatched Troy up by the collar. All I saw were feet dangling and swinging in the air. I brushed myself off. By that time Charlie had rushed over, and damn near tried to kill Troy. Charlie grabbed everything that was movable—ashtrays, glasses, forks, even napkins. Stevie threw Troy out.

  The patrons in the Shark Bar dispersed. Various looks of amazement were glued to their faces. Stevie and Charlie had saved the day, and some people started to clap. Stevie called out, “Show’s over, people.”

  He put his arms around Charlie and me, making sure we were safe.

  “Thank you, Stevie, for saving the day,” I said humbly.

  “Like Superman!” Charlie said, cracking up.

  We were laughing so hard tears were pouring from our eyes.

  “I guess I did good, huh?” I said, between the chuckles.

  “You did great!” Charlie cheered.

  “I’m finally over him. Turning the other cheek is new for me. Redemption is a good thing.”

  “Retribution is better! I’m proud of you, girlfriend,” Charlie said.

  I grabbed a nearby barstool and jumped on top of it.

  “What are you doing, fool?” Charlie said, trying to pull me down.

  “Hold on. I have a pact we need to sign off on.”

  “Let’s hear it.”

  “It’s our new mission. From now on we both have to promise to put ourselves first,” I announced.

  “Hear! Hear! No more sacrificing and settling when it comes to our happiness.”

  “And, when it comes to a man, it’s give and take! Love is a two-way street.”

  “It’s all about us from now on!”

  “To being fierce, fabulous, and fearless!” I said, ending my speech.

  “All right!” Charlie said, helping me down. We sealed our pact with a hug.

  “Enough of all this sentimental stuff. Let’s get this party started!” Stevie said with a sly grin.

  “Let’s do this!” I said.

  “It’s Friday and we just got paid,” Charlie sang as she flashed a twenty and placed it on the bar.

  The Shark Bar was closing, but the night was young. Stevie pushed two freshly filled glasses toward us.

  “New one tonight, raspberry. This one’s on me.”

  “Thanks!” We gladly accepted. We were more than willing to be his guinea pigs.

  Stevie placed both elbows down on the bar and positioned himself directly in the middle of us.

  “You know I’ve seen and learned a lot just by listening to you ladies, especially after what happened tonight. I know exactly what you’ve been going through. I’ve been dying to put my two cents in ’cause, girlfriends, men are definitely a trip!” Stevie chirped in a high-pitched tone.

  Charlie and I both stood perplexed, mouths agape. He gave us a look as if to say we’d better not choke. Then he hit the stereo volume as “Lady Marmalade” pumped in. Charlie and I shrugged our shoulders. Stevie gave two snaps.

  “Hello, don’t get brand new on me. Getting all shy now.”

  All our fantasies of screwing him blind went up in sm
oke. Stevie literally “came out” from behind the bar. He grabbed Charlie’s hand and they started dancing. Then Charlie started chanting.

  “Scan-dal, scan-dal!” Charlie shoved a drink in my hand, and began to dance around Stevie, and I was sputtering, trying to figure out how I never noticed.

  “How could he deny the female race with all that body?” I asked.

  “Chill out! You’re overanalyzing things. Just get over it, there will be others. Plus we can still pretend and dream about Stevie being our boy toy.”

  I gave up and joined in, and we all chanted.

  “Scan-dal, scan-dal!”

  It was going to be a long night. Stevie danced back over to the bar and began setting up more Cosmos.

  “Sorry, girl, I never did find that killer dress,” I said.

  “I guess it was a sign,” Charlie said, patting me on the shoulder. “By the way, I still have the ring, but I was thinking about giving it back!”

  “Fool! Do you know what kind of pendant two and a half carats could make?”

  I shook my head. It was going to be a very long night.

  Cosmopolitan Girls’ Acknowledgments

  Very Special Thanks to our agent extraordinaire, Marie Dutton Brown, for your guidance, and helping to shape and breathe life into Cosmopolitan Girls.

  Extra Special Thanks to Janet Hill, our friend and editor. You truly understood the lifestyle, the realities and fantasies, the happiness and heartaches of today’s “Cosmopolitan Girls.” Again, thank you for your unparalleled vision and commitment.

  Special Thanks to Calvin Chu for a wonderful cover.

  This book would not have been a reality without the tireless support and effort from the following individuals and organizations: Alan Haymon; Tavis Smiley; Tynisha Thompson and Khalid Williams of Marie Brown Associates; Laini Brown; Patrik Henry Bass of Essence magazine for your enthusiasm and early support; Sherry Bronfman; Patti Webster; Karen Lee; Norma Augenblick; Keith Clinkscales and Leonard Burnett of Vanguarde Media; Mc-Clean Greaves, Dan Ivy, Peter Baker, and the fantastic staff at the Hudson Hotel; the gracious staff of LaSamana for comfort and peace; Two Bunch Palms; Saundra Parks of the Daily Blossom; Jeffrey Scales; Emmett Dennis of Blue Flame Marketing; Ira Jones of First Civilization; Jabari Asim; Jamale Ridgway; and Emily Bosco of Absolut, our honorary Cosmo Girl, for all your support.