Southern Love

by Synithia Williams

  She bit her lip and inwardly counted to five. “If that’s what you need to do, fine.” She spun to walk down the hall but Jared reached for her hand. When she turned around he gently pulled her back.

  “Stop. I don’t want to fight you.” His voice was soft. “I’m not calling anyone else.” He leaned down to look her in the eye. “For anything. You got that? I’m only calling you.”

  Her heart rate to speed up and her stomach fluttered. That’s all it took from him, a few soft words and those soft eyes and she was pudding in his hands. “Jared, I’m not asking you to do that. I think it’s time — ”

  “It’s not time,” he interrupted. “You don’t want this to be over.”

  “I don’t, and that’s exactly why it’s time.”

  “Because of him?” He motioned down the hall in the direction Kevis had taken.

  “Not just because of him. Because I’m starting … ” Her voice trailed off.

  Excitement filled his dark eyes. “Starting to what?”

  “I’m starting to ca — ”

  “Jared, what are you doing here?”

  Tasha blinked rapidly. She’d almost told him she was starting to care. With a sigh of relief, she turned to see who’d saved her from herself. A tall, handsome guy with tan skin, high cheekbones any woman would die for, and a slim but sculpted build walked up to them. He looked familiar but she couldn’t place where they might have met.

  “Devin, what’s up man?” Jared said without sincerity. He and Devin gave each other a one-arm hug.

  “A few of us doctors put together a basketball team. We’re playing tonight.” His eyes left Jared and turned to Tasha.

  Jared cleared his throat. “Devin, this is Tasha. She’s the assistant director at the Rec Commission.”

  Tasha smiled and shook Devin’s hand. “Nice to meet you. Although, you do look familiar.”

  Devin smiled warmly. “I get that a lot. Where are you from?”

  “I grew up in West Columbia.”

  He frowned as if he were trying to place her. “West Columbia. I had a friend in high school who used to hang out over there.”

  “Kenyatta’s best friend Angie is my sister. We may have met in passing through her and Malcolm,” Tasha said.

  He nodded. “Yeah, that may be where.”

  Tasha took the opportunity to escape. “Well, I’ll let you two talk. I’m going to watch the first game.” She looked at Jared. “I like the guy playing,” she said before walking away.

  CHAPTER 21

  Jared started to follow Tasha down the hall but Devin placed a hand on his arm. “Hey man, don’t even go there.”

  Jared turned to his friend. “Why not?”

  Devin let him go. “You had your fun, but it’s time to move on to the next one.”

  “I don’t have time for this,” Jared said going after Tasha.

  Devin followed. “I talked to Malcolm.”

  “Aw hell.”

  “He said you’re messing around with a good woman.”

  He cut his eyes at Devin. “So what, I can’t be with a good woman?”

  “Not if you’re only trying to sleep around. Look, Jared, we all know the type of guy you are.”

  Jared stopped at the entrance of the gym and frowned at Devin. “What type of guy am I?”

  “Don’t get pissed at me, man. You’ve never tried to hide you only want a woman for one thing. You clown me whenever I date a woman for an extended period of time and you questioned Malcolm about marrying Kenyatta. I don’t have a problem with your viewpoint, because usually you’re dealing with women who ain’t about nothing. But, when you start messing with virgins, you’ve got to admit that’s pretty messed up.”

  Jared turned and pointed at Devin. “Let’s get a few things straight. I’m not messing with virgins; I did one virgin a favor by being her first, at her request. Sleeping with her wasn’t even on my radar before she came to me with that. Second, she chose to keep this thing going. I can’t help it if honey got hooked on a brotha. I’ve been upfront with her from the start, so both you and Malcolm can quit acting like I’m hanging around the playground picking up young girls.”

  Devin pushed Jared’s hand away. “I’m not trying to start nothing with you. I’m just letting you know that when you mess with a woman like that, their feelings get involved. She’s gonna end up hurt.”

  “How do you know that? For your information, I was thinking about keeping her around for a while,” Jared said and turned to scan the gym for Tasha.

  “What’s a while?”

  Jared shrugged. “I don’t know, man, a while.” His eyes landed on Tasha seated in the bleachers. The guy from earlier, he hadn’t gotten his name, was stretching out his legs on the bleacher in front of her. “She’s cool, all right. We’ve always been cool; I just never hooked up with someone I respected before. I like it.” He frowned when Tasha laughed at something the guy said.

  “You like it, or you like her?”

  Jared shrugged again. “Her, I guess. Who the hell is that dude?”

  Devin turned to follow Jared’s gaze and grinned. “That is Dr. Kevis Flynn. He’s an ER doctor, moved here from Charlotte. That dude has every female doctor, nurse, and orderly at the hospital panting after him.”

  “So he’s a player?”

  “Nah, he’s straight and narrow. Nice to all the ladies, but not running through them. I hear he’s on the lookout for a wife.”

  Jared’s frown deepened. “Where’d you hear that?”

  “Some of the nurses were gushing about how he mentioned being ready to settle down and have kids.”

  “Damn, that’s just what I need.” Jared wanted to spit fire when Tasha laughed again. Was the dude a comedian or something?

  “What you mean?”

  Jared sighed. “Me and Tasha agreed to do our thing until she met someone else. The good doctor over there just asked her out. I tried to block, but she just went around. He’s exactly the kind of man she’s looking for.” And I’m exactly the type of man she doesn’t want, he thought.

  “Are you looking to marry and have kids?” Devin asked.

  “Hell nah!”

  “Then it’s time to move on. Kevis is a good dude. Let the chips fall.”

  Jared shook his head. “No, I’m not ready.”

  “Then you better lay something on the line that’ll make her stay.” Jared opened his mouth to interrupt but Devin kept going. “And I’m not talking about sex. If you like her, tell her.”

  “I already did.”

  Devin did a double take. “Hell must have frozen over. I never thought I’d see the day when you told a woman you liked her.”

  Jared pushed Devin’s shoulder. “I ain’t said I love her or anything like that.”

  Devin smiled. “Sorry, man, but love is probably the only thing that’ll keep a girl like that.”

  Jared frowned and turned back to Tasha and the good doctor. She would expect something like that. He liked her — a lot — but love? He didn’t even know what love was.

  “I’m not telling you to say it just to get what you want either,” Devin said.

  Jared nodded. “I don’t play dirty like that. I’ll find another way to keep this going.”

  Devin shook his head. “What you want may not equate to what’s good for her.”

  “Damn, y’all act like I’m Lucifer or something. I’m not going to kill the woman.”

  Devin laughed. “I know. But you will crush her heart. Think about what I said, man. I gotta warm up.”

  Jared watched Devin as he walked over to Tasha and Kevis. They said a few words and then Kevis joined Devin on the court to warm up. Good looking out, he thought. Devin would have his back, even if he didn’t agree with him.

  Tasha glare
d at Jared before turning her body away from him. He guessed she figured out what Devin was doing. Jared walked to the other side of the gym. He passed his mentee, Tony, who was flirting with Tasha’s front desk helper, Latiffa.

  “What’s going on, Tony?” Jared reached out to give Tony a one-arm hug.

  “Nothing much, Jared. Just came to watch these old dudes ball,” Tony said with a laugh.

  “Yeah, well, remember this old dude can still whip your ass on the court,” Jared replied.

  “I been lifting, man. Don’t underestimate.” Tony flexed his biceps and Latiffa’s eyes lit up.

  Jared shook his head and kept walking. He sat in the bleachers directly across from Tasha. The fact that she kept her eyes trained on everyone in the gym except him told him she knew where he was.

  The game started after a few minutes. The team of doctors quickly took the lead against their opponents. Jared would have been happy for Devin, if the good doctor wasn’t on the team. Jared scowled after Kevis scored a three point shot, kissed his fingertips, and pointed at Tasha, who smiled back. Did he look that stupid when he’d done the same motion to women in the stands? The good doctor was laying it on thick.

  Jared pulled out his cell phone. Time to remind Tasha of what they had.

  I’m still hungry, he texted.

  Tasha pulled her phone from her hip and read his text. He smiled when her lips parted as she took a deep breath.

  Burger King is open. Go get a whopper.

  I’m not hungry for a whopper. I’m hungry for you.

  I’m not going to be your booty call whenever you get horny.

  You’re more than a booty call, Tasha.

  Really? You could have surprised me.

  Don’t trip. We have fun even when we aren’t having sex. Remember the game the other day?

  He watched her smile and shake her head. Yeah I remember.

  Come on girl. Don’t break up what we got going.

  What do we have going?

  Why we got to label it? All I know is I’ve never done this before but I like it. I like you.

  I like you too *sigh*

  So are you going to feed me?

  We can’t do this forever.

  But we can do it now. Let me taste you.

  Jared looked across the gym. Tasha looked up from her phone at him. She smiled briefly before turning back to the game. He kept his eyes trained on her, willing her to say yes. His heart speed up when she finally got up and walked out of the gym. A few seconds later, his phone buzzed.

  Meet me in my office.

  Hell yeah! Jared caught Devin’s eye and lifted his chin with a smile. Devin shook his head. Jared didn’t care what his friend thought. He was going to handle his business.

  CHAPTER 22

  Tasha groaned with a mixture of desire and self-loathing when Jared leaned down to kiss the side of her neck. The satin sheets were strewn across his bed from where he’d thoroughly explored every inch of her body. For the second time in two days, she regretted her actions. The night before he’d tasted her so meticulously she’d practically begged him to fuck her on the wall of her office. There was no other word to describe what she’d wanted him to do. Instead, he’d left her panting, soaking wet, and horny as a teenager, while he walked out with a cocky look in his eye. She was too embarrassed to go back to the game, so she’d briskly given the maintenance crew instructions for closing up.

  It wasn’t hard to figure out why he’d left. Even though he’d been just as turned on as she, he’d wanted to leave her wanting more. More from him and no one else. And dammit, like a junkie she’d run over after work today so he could finish what he started. It was crazy, reckless, stupid, and every other adjective out there used for bad judgment.

  She tried to push him off. Instead, he slowly slid out of her and she gasped at the pleasure and loss.

  He rubbed his cheek against hers. “I could do this every day.”

  Her heart thumped repeatedly. She pulled his head up so she could look into his eyes. “Do you mean that?”

  He froze. His mouth opened and closed regret clear in his eyes. He hadn’t meant those words the way she’d taken them.

  She tried to smile, but it was more of a grimace. “Of course you do. What man wouldn’t want to have great sex every day?”

  He didn’t stop her when she slid away from him and sat on the edge of his bed. She pushed her thick hair out of her face and stared at the wall. If he didn’t want to commit to her now, why would he if her fears were confirmed? Even after he’d left her wanting him, her last thought and prayer the night before was for her period to come in the morning. It hadn’t. Jared’s expression confirmed what she’d already known. He was content to sleep with her every day, but that was all. What would he say if she was pregnant? What would she say? She couldn’t imagine facing her parents, her father’s church members, or even herself in the mirror. Jared was always clear he didn’t want marriage or kids. She had only herself to call a fool if she was pregnant.

  Jared’s hand brushed her back and she jumped. “What’s wrong, Tasha?”

  As if he didn’t know. She wanted to yell at him for being so callous. For not caring about her the way she cared about him. Instead, she shook her head. “Nothing.” She hopped off the bed. She pulled the sheet with her and wrapped it around body. “I’ve got to go.”

  “You don’t have to go.”

  She whipped around to face him. “I can’t stay here.”

  “Why not? You can’t possibly tell me you feel like driving after what we just did.” He smiled.

  “No, you don’t understand. I can’t stay here.”

  He frowned and reached for her but she took a step back and held up her hand. “Stop, Jared. Just stop it. Stop acting like you want me here. Stop telling me you like me, and calling and texting me when you want me. I know you think nothing is wrong with doing those things, but it is.”

  His thick arms flexed as he crossed them and leaned against the headboard. “Why don’t you tell me why letting you know that I want you is wrong?”

  She glared in response to his calm voice. “You’re acting like we’re together, when we’re not.”

  “I’m giving you what you want. You asked me to treat you differently from my usual women. That’s what I’m doing.”

  “That’s the problem.”

  He rolled his eyes. “You’re making no sense.”

  “I know.” She paused and took a deep breath. “Look, I’m not cut out to do this. I ignored the consequences.”

  His eyes narrowed. “What consequences?”

  She looked away. “I have to think about the future and what I want.” Her gaze returned to his. “Right now all I want is you.”

  He jumped off the bed so quickly she jumped. He reached for her hands and pulled her close. “You’ve got me. We can do this for as long as you want.”

  “Will you marry me?”

  He dropped her hands and stepped back. “I’m not talking about marriage, Tasha.”

  “Well, I am. I want a husband and kids. I don’t want to be someone’s jump off or baby momma.”

  He screwed up his face. “You’re not my jump off, and you’re damn sure not going to be a baby momma. We protect ourselves from that.”

  “It’s not one hundred percent,” she whispered.

  He shook his head. “It’s been foolproof for me so far. Besides, if we ever had an accident I’d take care of it.” She flinched and he cursed. “Tasha … ”

  She held up her hand. “No, I needed to hear that. I’ve never asked you to hide who you are. Just like I can’t hide who I am. I can’t do this anymore. I’m caught up, Jared. I’m falling so damn hard for you and I can’t afford to stay.”

  He rubbed the back of his head and looked away. That simple m
ovement broke her heart. He didn’t feel the same. She was even more naïve than she’d thought.

  “I’m gonna get my stuff and go,” she said.

  “Look, why don’t I call you tomorrow and we’ll talk?”

  “There’s nothing to talk about.” She turned and snatched her clothes from the floor. When she had everything, she headed for his bathroom. She dressed slowly. Her eyes trailing to the door as she waited for the knock, for him to tell her he still wanted her to stay. If he said he felt a smidgeon of what she felt for him then she’d keep this up. She would even tell him about her fears. If he cared, he couldn’t possibly hurt her by “taking care of an accident.”

  The knock never came. Her feet were like lead as she left the bathroom. He looked at her before getting off the bed and sliding into a pair of basketball shorts. He walked over and kissed her cheek. “I’ll call you tomorrow. We’ll talk.”

  Tasha stiffened. He expected her to come running back to his bed. And she’d been the stupid fool who gave him that impression. She’d been running to his bed for weeks. Every time she said she was through she came back. There was no reason for him to believe she was done.

  She looked into his eyes. “Don’t bother calling. Tomorrow’s Friday. I have a date.” His eyes turned cold and she walked out.

  CHAPTER 23

  Instead of going to Atlanta on Friday, Jared waited until that night to pull out his cell and call Malcolm. He’d used work as an excuse to get out of helping with last minute preparations and arrive later, but as the day wore on and he thought about smiling in the faces of his mom and Mr. Carter, he couldn’t bring himself to go.

  If Tasha were coming, it would be different. In the six weeks since Charleston she’d become a fixture in his life. After a day of training, putting out fires for his business, and working deals with Cassandra, it was nice to come home and have someone there to talk to. She’d push him to talk whenever he tried to change the subject. No one else did that. She’d listen and offer advice without being pushy or opinionated. He’d never had that before.

  Her consistent refusal to come to his mother’s party impressed and irritated him. When other women would jump at the chance to meet his family, she’d insisted it would give the wrong impression. He didn’t care what his family thought. He wanted her in his life. At what capacity he wasn’t sure. Every time he thought about the dreaded L word, he broke out in a sweat. He’d choked the night before when he should have admitted that he cared too. How could he possibly admit to something stronger?