He rejoiced and inwardly groaned when she sat next to him on the small leather sofa. She sat sideways, one knee curled up on the chair, the other leg stretched out in front. “What’s up, Devin?” she said resting her elbow on the back of the chair and supporting her head in her hand.
Her lips curved in a teasing smile, tempting him to kiss her. The scent of her perfume drifted over him, and although it excited him, he preferred the way she’d smelled earlier, when the scent of his body wash mingled with hers. Despite himself, his dick grew hard and he leaned toward her. Desire — remembrance — flashed in the brown depths of her slanted eyes before she looked down, hiding it with her lashes. But it was enough to send hunger rushing through him.
He didn’t know what to do. He wasn’t used to sex-only relationships. Should he follow her lead and act as if it were nothing, when all he wanted to do was rush her out of Jared’s house and find out what she was thinking before losing himself within her silky walls again?
He didn’t know how long he stared at her before he became aware of someone standing over them. He turned to face Jared’s raised eyebrow and knowing smile.
Jared waved a brown beer bottle in his face. “Want one?”
“Yeah, sure.” He snatched the beer from Jared.
“Can I get one?” Shayla asked. She looked at Tasha, “Unless you mind. I don’t want to leave you the only one not drinking.”
Tasha crinkled her nose. “I hate beer. Please, don’t mind me.”
Jared handed Shayla a beer. Devin stared as she screwed off the top and her lips wrapped around the edge of the bottle. She drank slowly, her lips tugging and pulling along the rim. When she finished, her tongue glided around the edge before she licked the moisture from her lips and smiled. What was his asinine reason for stopping her from doing the same thing to his dick earlier? Right now, his need to control the sex seemed unimportant with the thought of her lips wrapped around him.
He tore his eyes away, looking anywhere but at her. He caught Malcolm watching them and glared back. Malcolm smiled and looked away. When he looked at Jared, his friend was grinning. A “go for it” look in his eye. Damn, he’d have a hard time escaping their jokes later.
He shifted in his seat and stared at the announcers talking on the big screen television. “When will the game start?”
Jared laughed. He sprawled back in a recliner, Tasha beside him in a matching one. “We got a few minutes. So, Shayla, tell us about Devin in high school.”
Devin groaned and shook his head. “No, Shayla, don’t tell him anything about me in high school. He’ll only use it to blackmail me later.”
“Damn right,” Jared said.
Shayla laughed and shifted closer in the chair. “Well, Devin was always the sensible one.”
“Boring,” Malcolm said, “he’s the sensible one now. Tell us about the non-sensible things he did.”
Shayla grinned. “I wish I could give you more, but I can’t. If you were about to make a dumb decision, or had made a dumb decision, he wasn’t afraid to point it out.”
Malcolm sighed. “Always was, and always will be, the voice of reason.”
Devin pointed at Malcolm with his beer bottle. “Hey, you appreciate my honesty.”
“Most of the time,” Malcolm said with a smile.
“Boring,” Jared said.
Shayla held up her hand holding the bottle. “He wasn’t boring. He had fun and partied with the rest of us, but he knew when to throw in the towel and say ‘that’s enough’. He kept our clique out of a lot of jams … most of the time.”
Jared shook his head. “Okay, you gotta give me something. I’ve been looking for dirt on this brotha for years.”
Devin faked a wounded look. “I’m hurt.”
“Well,” Shayla said. “He did wear braids.”
Jared laughed. “What? Dr. Jones with cornrows?”
Malcolm joined in. “Hell yeah, I remember. You had braids our first year of college.”
Devin rubbed his head. “Hey, man, quit laughing. I might bring them back.”
Shayla reached over and ran her hand along his head sending heat through his body. His hair was long enough for her to pinch it between her fingers, reminding him he needed a haircut. “I like your hair longer.”
He met her eyes and she slowly lowered her hand, her fingers brushing against his earlobe as she pulled away. “It was always soft when I braided it.” Her words were spoken quietly, he doubted they heard it across the room, but it was as if she’d screamed the way they bounced within his head.
“What are y’all whispering about over there?” Jared asked.
Devin cleared his throat and looked at his friend. Jared and Malcolm shared a glance and Devin bit the inside of his lip. They were going to dig into him for every detail about his relationship with Shayla. While he’d happily offered advice to them when needed, he wasn’t thrilled with the idea of receiving any. He trusted his friends, but baring his innermost feelings with them wasn’t what he did. He was the giver of guidance, not the recipient.
Shayla scooted away. “I was just telling Devin that it’s time to come clean about his secret.”
Malcolm sat forward. “What secret?”
Devin raised an eyebrow and looked at Shayla. “Yeah, what secret?”
She grinned. “About your hip hop dance lessons.”
Devin groaned and rolled his eyes as Malcolm, Jared, and Tasha burst out laughing.
“I can’t believe you remember that,” he said.
Shayla pushed his shoulder lightly. “I remember everything. And you can’t expect me to forget driving with you to Columbia twice a week for hip hop dance lessons.”
“Wait a second,” Malcolm said. “Why were you taking hip hop dance lessons?”
Devin’s face burned with embarrassment and he threw Shayla a ‘you will pay for this’ look that was only met with a grin. “For half a second, I thought I wanted to dance like … ”
He didn’t finish. Jared and Malcolm both leaned forward. “Like who?”
“Usher,” Shayla said with a laugh. Everyone broke out in laughter again. He held his hands out as if he would choke her. She shrieked with laughter and batted his hands away. He joined in and sat back, taking their barrage of jokes before the game finally started.
He wanted to take Shayla over his knee for telling, but had to admit she’d effectively distracted everyone from their relationship and eased the tension between them. She didn’t like football, but she cheered for the Atlanta Falcons with Jared and Tasha, against him and Malcolm who cheered for the Carolina Panthers. She was the life of the party, telling jokes, making people laugh and have a good time.
She didn’t curl up against his side like she had at the club. The way she’d done when they were growing up. He missed it.
He stared as she jumped up and gave Jared and Tasha high fives after Atlanta scored. How did she do it? The tears in her eyes after they had sex were real, so was the longing. He’d hurt her when he said they couldn’t be together, yet she still teased and joked with him as if his words meant nothing. The same way she’d played along as Tony’s willing girlfriend after he took advantage of her.
His jovial mood evaporated. He knew the real Shayla, or had known her, but after Homecoming was forced to interact with the public Shayla. The Shayla who wanted to please the crowd and went along for the ride. She’d rather pretend as if the people close to her hadn’t hurt her than acknowledge how much they did.
He used to think he’d never hurt her; that he had her best interests at heart, but he didn’t. He’d wanted her, known it was wrong to have sex with her after she’d just described the way Tony used her, but still he’d thrown better judgment to the wind and took what she offered. Then planned to move on and forget that having her in his arms was like having a piece of him
he didn’t realize was missing replaced. It had slipped out the moment he’d seen her in Tony’s arms after Homecoming and slid back the moment she rounded the bend in Hangman’s Woods.
Angry at himself for having sex with her in the first place, and angry at her for acting as if what happened hadn’t mattered, he jumped from the couch.
“Jared, I’m going to the kitchen to see if you have anything worth snacking on. Shayla, come with me.”
Her mask slipped, uncertainty flashed in her eyes, but only for a second. She smiled and shrugged. “Sure.”
Jared laughed, oblivious to Devin’s mood. “Go on and dance your way downstairs.”
He rolled his eyes as Jared, Malcolm, and Tasha laughed. It would take a miracle to get Jared to not tease him about it. He jerked his head toward the door and Shayla walked out with him on her heels. She let him lead the way down the stairs and into the kitchen. Once there, she breezed past him and looked in the fridge.
“What do you want? It looks like he’s got salsa and … ooh pineapple. You still love pineapple don’t you?”
He crossed the room to stand behind her as he tried to figure out an answer. He wanted to know how she felt about him, about what they’d done. He wanted to know how she could sit beside him as if it were nothing, when just being in her presence caused him to forget all of the reasons why Shayla Monroe was bad news. Instead, he opted to ask a question that protected his feelings.
“I want to know why you became Tony’s girlfriend.”
She slowly stood, but didn’t face him. Her fingers gripped the door of the refrigerator. When she didn’t answer he continued. “Did you really not care so much about what he was doing, that you just went along with it? Do you really care so little for yourself?”
She pulled out a bowl of what he recognized to be Jared’s homemade salsa and faced him with a sigh. “It was easier to be Tony’s girlfriend than the easy girl who sleeps around at parties.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Come on, Devin, just because you stopped talking to me afterward doesn’t mean you didn’t know what was going on. Suddenly, I went from being the girl whose father slept around to the girl who was just like her father. Guys assumed I was an easy lay. I was fighting off the advances of two of your teammates when Tony came down the hall and told them to back off because I was his girl. They stopped. Everyone stopped. It was easier to go along with — ”
He spun away. “It was easier … it was easier. That was always your excuse and I’m sick of hearing you say that.” He turned back. “It was easier to just lie there and let Tony handle his business than say no. It was easier to offer me sex this morning than let me console you.”
“I don’t need consoling.” She marched toward him. “I don’t need you, or anyone, feeling sorry for me and trying to tell me how to handle my life. I get by just fine.”
“No you don’t. You get by pretending as if you haven’t been royally screwed over. Don’t pretend with me, I know the real Shayla.”
“Really, because you have a messed up way of showing it. You’re constantly judging me.”
“I don’t judge you, Shayla, I want to help you.”
She scowled. “I’m not your damn charity case.”
He rubbed his eyes with frustration. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Then how do you mean it, Devin? Now that you know what happened you suddenly want to sweep in and make things better?”
“I just … want to be a friend.” She sucked her teeth and turned away. “But you make it impossible to do that!”
Tasha came in the kitchen followed by Jared. She had a frown on her face as she looked between the two. “Is everything okay? We could hear you shouting upstairs.”
Shayla flipped her hair over her shoulder. “It’s all good. Look, Tasha, I’m gonna head out. I’ll give you a call later.” She walked over to Tasha and held out her hand. Tasha glared at Devin before pulling a set of keys out of her pocket with a sigh.
She dropped them in Tasha’s hand. “Let me know you got home okay.”
Shayla nodded. “Sure. It was good seeing you, Jared.” Then she was gone.
Jared walked over. “Devin, what was that about? I thought you two were vibing upstairs.”
Devin shook his head and patted Jared on the shoulder. “I’m gonna bounce, man. I’ll holla at you tomorrow.” He hurried past his friend and out the door before Jared could ask any questions. Shayla’s car was just disappearing out the driveway when he got outside. He could follow her and explain, but what would it serve. Shayla wasn’t his charity case, and she didn’t want his advice. No need getting his heart any more wrapped up in her than it already was.
Chapter 13
Still shaken up after her conversation with Devin, Shayla put on her running clothes and escaped to Hangman’s Woods as soon as she got back to Helena. Even though she was angry that Devin considered her a charity case, she was mindful of her promise to him to leave the woods before dark. Her run was short due to this, but the brief time she spent surrounded by the silence was enough to calm her.
She’d been more shaken than angry. He’d hit a nerve when he’d accused her of taking the easy way out. Her “it’s easier” motto had gotten her through too many hurtful situations. It was easier to pretend as if the emotional pain she suffered didn’t bother her. As if she were immune to the fact that so many people she wanted in her life didn’t feel the same. She’d only gotten the attention of those who wanted to use her, and because she’d craved attention, she’d taken whatever she could get.
Tasha was right, she needed therapy. She was completely screwed up. But didn’t it make her crazy if she saw a therapist? It was tough telling the few people she did trust how she felt, and even now found it easier to breeze over the difficult situations in her life than go into detail. Maybe it would be easier, to confide in someone who was supposed to judge her and tell her why she made such bad decisions?
One problem: her lack of a job, and therefore lack of a way to pay a therapist. That idea would have to go on hold until there was a break in that department. She had enough savings to cover her living expenses, but not regular visits to a shrink.
The sun was falling beneath the skyline when she finally left Hangman’s Woods. There weren’t any crazy looking people hanging around when she left. Devin probably made it all up as another way to “help” her. As she jogged the remaining distance back to her home, the sky darkened and there was a chill in the air. She shivered as a breeze cooled the sweat on her back. Her pace increased on the last block to her house. When she stopped in her driveway another shiver went down her spine, but this one was in trepidation.
Her mom looked up from where she sat on Shayla’s porch. Her lips were twisted in a frown. She shook her head as her gaze skimmed over Shayla.
“Do you have to run around town almost naked?”
Shayla suppressed an eye roll. “I’m not almost naked. A sports bra and running pants are perfectly decent.” She said stretching her legs.
“You could run in a sweat suit.”
“I don’t think so. Even though it’s cool now, it was warm when I started. Try that suggestion again in February.” She continued to stretch and Marcella watched in silence. A few minutes later, Shayla met her mom’s gaze, who quickly looked away.
“Did you come here just to talk about my clothes?” It was a redundant question. After her show in Club Voracious, her mom could only be there to lecture her.
Marcella shook her head. “No, I came because you missed church today. I know why you missed. I had to hear it all day about Devin dragging you … drunk … from that club.”
“Would you rather he had left me drunk at the club?”
“I’d rather you didn’t embarrass me like that. I shouldn’t be surprised. Your daddy used to go out and get drunk like t
hat.” Her mom looked at her briefly. “You look and act just like him.”
Another breeze drifted through the trees. Crossing her arms to ward of the chill, Shayla walked up the stairs. “Let’s go inside, it’s getting cold.”
Her mom stood, but shook her head. “No, I’m not coming in. This will only take a minute.” She reached into the pocket of her house coat and pulled out a blue sheet of paper. “They’re looking for volunteers for the church’s fall festival. I signed you up.” She shoved the paper in Shayla’s hand.
Shayla quickly scanned the paper, a flyer outlining the volunteer needs for the annual fall festival. It was held on Halloween night as an alternative to trick-or-treating. Spending a night helping kids bob for apples and do the latest line dance wasn’t her idea of fun.
“I’m not doing this.”
Marcella’s eyes hardened. “Yes you are. You’ve barely been home two weeks and already people are talking. I won’t let you drag my name through the mud.”
“Your name?”
“Yes, whatever you do reflects on me. This will give you something to do besides go clubbing with your friends, drinking to excess, and seducing Devin Jones.”
Shayla furiously tapped her toe. “I’m not seducing Devin Jones.”
“Good, because he deserves a good woman. Someone like Kia, who won’t embarrass him. Believe me. I know how hard it is to be tied to someone who doesn’t give a damn about how they make their family look.” Her gaze scathed coldly over Shayla.
The comment could refer to her or her father. They’d both had caused a fair amount of embarrassment and pain for her mom. Marcella hated the ties to both of them. Swallowing the pain, Shayla lifted her chin. She gave her mom what she hoped was a look of boredom.
She held out the paper. “Don’t worry yourself. Devin agrees with you and everyone else in this town. We’re not getting together.”
Southern Love Page 60