by GR Griffin
From out of nowhere, four massive skulls appeared and floated in the air – all of them had their sights trained on the squad. They were skulls that none of them had seen before: long triangular faces with jaws of vicious teeth and crowns of thorny bone. All four jaws opened in unison, and from within their empty mouths, growing spheres of blue magic formed.
Sans creased his brow. His grin turning a shade evil. He slowly shook his head.
He blinked. The pupils disappeared, sending shivers up the soldiers’ spines. His warning was like a whisper from beyond the grave.
“D O N ‘ T E V E N T H I N K A B O U T I T .”
The leader of the squad swallowed. “Guys…” he addressed his crew who were equally as scared as he was. The cracks and blemishes evened out in his voice. “We’ve just received a, uh, anonymous tip that the guys we’re looking for are a few towns back. Does anyone object to that?” He waited for the response that he wished no one had the gall to protest. Luckily for him, his crew were on the same page. “Silence noted. Double time!”
All ten members of the Monster Military turned and ran, making the loudest exit known to man and monster alike. Sans gave them a simple wave goodbye and waited until they were a hundred paces before holstering his blasters, sighing as his pupils returned.
While all this happened, the ex-scientist and his brother were gazing at a figure between the two buildings.
“Oh, Fleck, is that you?” Papyrus asked.
From the alleyway, a short plump yellow figure with a straight face, a head of long brown hair and wearing a striped blue shirt emerged.
“My name is Fisk,” the little fella answered.
Papyrus squinted an eye socket. “Fisk? That’s nice, but we are looking for Fleck.”
Fisk paused. “My name is Fisk.”
“Yes, your name is Fisk. We are looking for someone named Fleck. Are you Fleck?”
“No… my name is Fisk.”
Papyrus caressed his chin. “Are you sure you are not Fleck?”
Fisk was hopping up and down, their face turning an irate shaded of orange. “My name is Fisk!”
“Papyrus,” Alphys said, “I know we haven’t seen Fleck in a day, but I’m fairly certain they’re not a pepper.”
Upon second inspection, it appeared that Fisk was not human at all, but a yellow pepper. A pepper that looked surprisingly like the human they were looking for.
“It would appear so.” Papyrus conceited, nodding in acceptance. “Apologies, little creature coincidently similar to Fleck who just happened to be there when Sans pointed, diverting our attention.”
Fisk turned and walked off. Their small legs carried them nimbly, as if they were floating on the ground “My name is Fisk.”
“Hey, wait a minute,” Alphys said, facing up front to find the road ahead deserted. None of the monsters in armour in sight, as if they had fizzled into the atmosphere. “Wh-where did those knights go?”
Sans shrugged. “Guess one of them left the stove on.”
“Then, can we please get back on track as to how we’re going to find the others?” Alphys asked, taking her glasses off and giving them a much needed clean.
Papyrus faced his sibling. “Brother, I don’t suppose you know a shortcut or two?”
Sans pondered a bit. “I guess I could find a few shortcuts around here…” He scratched his cranium and looked to a house on the right. “That’ll do. Let’s start over there.”
* * *
Lord Grill was lucky that some of his attire had survived the blast – the ones he was wearing, at least. He sure wished that there was something else that survived other than cinders and fire, but the explosion took no prisoners.
He laid on that couch, thinking that night would be restless. The room he had been shoved in was right next to the one allocated to that crazy lady, Undyne. He had received assurance that there was no conceivable or inconceivable way that her room could catch fire, yet that did nothing to quell his doubts. Although, the exertion and stress, all in one day, was easily the most exercise he has had in fifty years. He closed his eyes for one seconds and was off like a light.
The next morning, he woke up to find that the foundation was still standing and in a non-combusting state. He never used to believe in miracles, until now.
Breakfast had been set up in the dining room. Plenty to eat and plenty of choice. Master D. Mind and his wife were the two occupants in the whole two hundred room mansion, so it made no sense to have one of those exceedingly long dining room tables with two seats at either end. Nope. They had two, one for each of them, which made passing the peas all the more awkward.
There were not enough chairs to seat all of them so some improvising was in order. Anything that could be sat on was pulled into the dining room. Stools. Rocking chairs. Beanbags. Chests. If it was strong enough to support someone’s weight, then it sufficed.
Lord Grill scanned the faces around the tables, finding his servants, his guards, even his wives there. They had been liberated from his oppression, as they phrased it, yet still stuck around for reasons outside his comprehension. Likely, it was because they had nowhere to go. Amongst all the face, there was no sign of Undyne’s anywhere. She had either already left, or she was hidden somewhere around the complex. Both possibilities were equally terrifying.
Master D. Mind, the master of the household, approached him, “Lord Grill? A moment in private?”
Grill followed D. Mind into his living room. The fireplace was empty and devoid of all traces of ash and burned materials. It looked like it had never been used, yet the feeling of warmness dawdled in the air. The books on the shelves were alphabetised and every ornament was spotless.
“What is it?” Lord Grill queried.
Master D. Mind stepped over to the coffee table and grabbed a sheet of paper lying next to a glass ashtray. The grey ash filled to the brim was the accumulation of never being touched for fifty years. Ironic considering that everywhere else was immaculate. “I got this through the door this morning.” His voice was strained tight and kept low, as if this was a matter to be worried about.
Lord Grill took the sheet of paper and wasted no time looking at it. After what he had witnessed yesterday, there was no possible way that anything could frighten him anymore.
At least that was until he glanced the human on it.
A human named Fleck, wanted for one million cloud coins. They read that name and were instantly horrified that they recognised it. The description made it worse. The crazy lady’s words rang in his ears.
“Is… something wrong?” Master D. Mind asked, noticing the look on the fellow lord’s face.
Lord Grill shoved the poster in Mind’s chest. “Destroy this poster. Right now.”
Master Mind glanced down at Grill’s hand against his chest, then back up at his face. “Grill?”
The bear’s fingers closed shut, scrunching the paper within. “You can’t let that demolitions expert see this.”
“You have one of those?”
“I’m talking about that terrifying fish monstrosity, you dolt!”
“Her? I thought you said she was your renovation agent.”
“That’s what I just said.”
“No, it wasn’t.”
“Look, just destroy this before that crazy fish does to your mansion what she did – she’s right behind me, isn’t she?”
Master D. Mind didn’t even need to glance over Grill’s shoulder. “Since ten seconds ago.”
“How does she look?”
“A little miffed for some reason.”
Already, Grill could feel Undyne’s presence, her gravity, her short temper, her very glare crawling on his back like all his sins in gluttony, greed, sloth, and lust. The one and only thing standing between her and the poster was himself. His plump body might as well have been made of glass.
“You can’t let me see what?” Undyne’s question made his’s spine freeze. What a surprise. Most people did not think he had one.
; It was a split-second, do or die decision. Without thinking, Lord Grill shoved the wanted poster into his mouth and chewed on it like his life depended on it.
“By god, Grill…” Mind marvelled. The taste and texture of the paper was exactly how Grill imagined it: crumply, dry, waxy, and tasteless. “At least chew with your mouth closed. Mind you manners whilst in Mineyor Manors.”
Undyne leaned over his shoulder and noticed his rapid jaw movement. “What’s that you’re eating just now?”
“What’s what?” Lord Grill mumbled, acting stupid.
Undyne grabbed his arm and span him around. “That piece of paper in your mouth.”
Grill slurred, “What paper,” and then swallowed it whole. It felt like some of it got stuck halfway down. He smiled and shrugged, trying to play it all innocent. “I don’t see any paper.” He quickly changed the subject. “Did you enjoy your breakfast?”
Undyne hummed suspiciously. “Tasted a little funny, but…”
“Then now would be an excellent time to start looking for that friend of yours.” Lord Grill went to wrap his arm around Undyne’s shoulders in a friendly and non-romantic way.
“Touch me and I’ll kill you,” she spoke with the same tone one would use when ordering takeout.
Grill promptly pulled his arm away and used his same arm to stroke the tuff of hair on his head. “Okey dokey,” he responded with all smiles and whatnot. The one agenda on his list was to send her packing as far away from him as possible. “Shall I escort you to the front door?”
Undyne was already making her move across the living room. “I’ll escort myself.”
From across the room, the door that Undyne was approaching squeaked open – the hinges still needed tending to – and out appeared Mistress R.E Mind.
“Honey,” she addressed her husband, “I don’t want to alarm you but I found this wedged under the doormat outside.” She showed a wanted poster. “I don’t suppose you’ve seen this already, have you?”
Undyne stopped and fixated on the paper in her hand. “Wait a minute. That looks like…”
Before she could make out anything else, Grill charged forth, snatched it away, and threw it greedily into his gob.
“Goodness me,” the mistress exclaimed, taken back.
“What the freaking heck?” Undyne barked. “Hey, I was reading that!”
With his jaw working wildly and the sweat forming under his fur, he said with a full mouth, “You were reading nothing. It was a figment of your imagination.”
Undyne rounded her shoulders and threw hands out in front of herself. “For Pete’s sake, you’re chewing on it right now!”
Lord Grill swallowed it whole. It may or may not have undammed the first one in his pipe. “Not anymore.” He followed up with an impatient tap on his broken wristwatch. “Every second you stay here is another you’ve wasted.”
“I…” Undyne clenched her fists, then relaxed them. Without saying another word, she stepped past both Grill and the mistress of the mansion and out into the hall.
The lord of the demolished Bjornliege Manor followed her out and watched with unfaltering concentration as she approached the entrance, pulled it open, then shut it behind herself. With her finally gone, he collapsed against the nearest wall, exhaling the biggest breath since yesterday.
Both Master D. Mind and Mistress R.E. Mind stood by the door frame. “What was all that about?” the husband asked.
Just as Lord Grill went to answer, the front door burst open. “WHO’S THE WISEGUY?” Undyne roared. A poster clenched in her fist. Just beyond those walls, outside that door, there was one plastered on every palm tree. Her steel glare went straight to the disgraced bear lord. “You!”
He wanted to run, but his leg would not permit him. He wanted to hide, but there was not a space anywhere in the Oasis that could shield a girth as generous of his. He wanted to cry for his mommy but she had passed on – to the island on the left.
Undyne was in his face. The anger sizzled off her scales. Her eye shooting tiny spears in his direction. “So… you’d be the first to know if a human appeared in these parts, huh? You better talk fast. Are you the one behind this?”
“No, no, absolutely not!” Grill waved his furry hands, jiggling the abundance of fat in his forearms. “I just learned about this now.”
“Who then?”
“It was written by Master Scribe Rickard, Emperor Zeus’s personal transcriber. He’ll be at Castle Highkeep, like always.”
“Then I guess I know where I’m going.”
Undyne span on her heels to leave, but was stopped by Grill. “W-wait!” he fretted. “Castle Highkeep is heavily guarded and Zeus himself is the fiercest warrior in all the lands. If you plan on giving him a piece of your mind, even you might be in for a big surprise.”
“Might I make a suggestion?” Mistress R.E. Mind spoke up, leaning out from the doorway. “The poster says that your friend is over in the Plain-plain. That’s not too far from here. If you go there, you may be able to find your friend yourself.”
Undyne stopped for a moment and thought about it. What was more important, finding Fleck or finding the monster who also wants Fleck? It was not just Fleck she had to worry about, but there was also Papyrus. And…
Alphys…
If anything happened to her, then she might just lose every shred of sanity she had. It was not just about the human anymore, but the ones she cared for. If anything bad happened to Fleck, their parents would be heartbroken. She held too much respect for Asgore to ever want to see him distraught.
The decision came to her. Castle Highkeep, and this Zeus guy, were not going anywhere. Fleck was out there somewhere, and she needed to find them.
Undyne, in a move that surprised the bear, flashed a sincere smile toward the owners of the manor. “That sounds like a good idea. Thanks for letting me crash the night. You guys are awesome.” She cocked her head around to meet the grizzly lord one more time. “And Grill? You still make my skin crawl… but thanks for the information,” she said. Before Grill could respond, Undyne stuffed the poster into his open mouth. “See you around, punk.”
Undyne made her exit, slamming the door with the same amount of force as when she opened it.
Three people remained: Lord Grill, Master D. Mind, and Mistress R.E. Mind; all left speechless, especially Grill. With a third wanted poster stuffed in his mouth, he realised that it did not taste too bad after all.
* * *
Bub returned to his home to find it empty, except for all the trash. The guest of honour had disappeared, most likely having gone off to look for that special somebody of theirs. He wished that the party would never end, but nothing good could last forever. He had watched too many boxsets to think otherwise.
He was sure going to miss Alphys. She was the most fun these parts had seen in a long time, with her mad karaoke skills.
“Director Bubsworth,” a voice echoed from the entrance. An aged foreman from the mines addressed him, holding a file bunched thick with paper. He was a pod of peas, his fancy green jacket holding his body together. “We’ve got a problem.”
“Don’t tell me, Peabody,” Bub started with a huff, “Canary Condor had the bread dream again?”
“Yes, but this is beside the point,” Peabody explained. “It involves the mines.” He opened the file up, flicking through sheets of data, charts and tables, spanning back years. “I’ve have a thorough look through our records, keeping track of operations, the amount taken out, yadda, yadda, yadda, and I’ve made a discovery.”
Bub folded his stalk arms. This had better be good.
Peabody raised his round head. “The mines are long overdue their refill period.”
No surprise to him. Sometimes, it can take a little extra to warrant the change. “By about how long? A week? A month?”
Peabody frowned hard. “Try a year, Bubsworth.” This piece of news knocked the gruff out of his sails. “If the records are correct, then the mines are on the verge of depletion
. Yet they are not refilling as they have done since the beginning. Plus, we’ve received reports of cave-ins on several dig sights.”
“How many?”
With a few more page flips, Peabody found his answer. “Eleven in the past week as opposed to one every five years. Some minor bumps and bruises, but nobody seriously injured.”
For the first time in a while, Bub felt concern in his mostly easy and uneventful life. “What does any of this mean?
Foreman Peabody closed the file and pressed it against his body. “I wish I knew, Bub. I wish I knew.” Bub heard it in his voice: he was afraid for what the future would hold. Change was coming, it could be smelled in the air, it was written in the stars, but he did not like to think what awaited them. For change was necessary, but never easy.
The closet door opened suddenly. Sans held the doorknob. His company, Alphys and Papyrus, behind him.
This place was a dump. Litter everywhere. A single room with one sofa, a jumbo television, and the front door lying on the floor. It looked familiar somehow. Alphys would have hated to have spent the night in that cesspit.
Oh, wait. She did.
“Sans, we’re coming out of the closet again,” Alphys said. “Oh, hey, Bub.”
Papyrus looked disgusted about something. “That… There’s something about that statement that sounded so wrong…”
“Oops,” Sans replied with his fingers tightening on the doorknob. He had already taken this shortcut. “This might take a while…”
“Hold on a sec.” Alphys stopped Sans from shutting the door. “Thanks for, uh, not eating me, Bub. Y-you’re a swell guy. Um, take care of yourself. And clean up a little around here – if you want to, that it.”
Finally, Sans closed the door, shutting everyone inside. New shortcut.
Chapter 18: Out of the Frying Pan
Another day, another cloud coin. The train director of Winter’s Edge, armed with his trusty azure clipboard and azure pen, stepped onto the platform, ready to tick off each item as it was accounted for. Escaping the confinement of his office was the best part of his job. He always looked forward to the next train arrival, just so he could feel the tingle of sun on his scales.