Retreat (Getaway #1)

by Jay Crownover

  “Brynn is a redhead and I love her like a sister, but she’s broken my little brother’s heart more than once and she doesn’t even know it. Redheads are easy to love but are hard to keep ahold of, which is why you went from distracting to dangerous as soon as you opened that smart-ass mouth of yours, Sunshine. I don’t have the time or the patience to deal with the kind destruction you are capable of.”

  I reared back and almost slipped in the pool of water he had left underneath him. He reached out to grab me. When he had me in his grip, he pulled me to his bare chest. My hands landed on the hard muscle and curled into the smattering of hair there.

  “I’m not here to destroy anything. I’m trying to rebuild something.” And I was making pretty good headway. And it was partly due to the way he fired me up after I’d allowed myself to be frozen in my own self-blame and regret. Like Em said, he made me burn and I was made up of stuff that was dying for him to blaze his way through it.

  “Women like you don’t have to try and destroy things, Leo. You just do, because men like me aren’t strong enough to stay away and we end up wanting things the other isn’t capable of giving.”

  Those were probably the most honest words anyone had ever spoken to me. They were so sweet in a twisted and tragic kind of way. It was better to be wanted knowing it wasn’t going to be perfect or thoughtfully planned. I’d been wanted because I made it so easy to and that hadn’t worked out at all. I much preferred being desired because I was a challenge, and as much of a risk as I thought he was. I didn’t want a manufactured, faultless man. I wanted this one. One who was real, flawed, and so far out of my comfort zone I couldn’t even see safety and security anymore. I still wanted to run but now it was toward him and the way he made me feel.

  I kissed him because he could be sweet, even if he hadn’t meant to be.

  The first touch of my lips to his ignited my blood and made my head swim. I could feel the strength in his big body and the coiled tension that locked in all of his muscles as I pressed against him.

  I kissed him because he was in front of me, almost naked, still wet, and outrageously sexy.

  That sexiness went up a million notches when he took a step into my space and walked me backwards into the tin wall behind me. I heard it rattle but couldn’t think beyond that because one of his hands wrapped around my jaw and forced my mouth open as the other tangled in my hair. I couldn’t move. There was nowhere to go . . . and I’d never been happier to be trapped in my entire life. I could feel his wakening erection pressed against my stomach and it made me groan. He took the opportunity to slip his tongue between my parted lips.

  I kissed him back with slippery tongue and nibbling teeth because I’d just watched him get off while thinking about me and I wanted the next time it happened to be because of me. I wanted to own his pleasure and his desire. I wanted to come with him and feel what it was like to have all that power and passion unleashed on me and inside me.

  I curled my hands around his sides and let myself get lost in the moment. I’d never been as aware of the parts of me that made me distinctly female as I was with Cy pressing into them. I could feel the rasp of my aroused nipples against my shirt. I could feel my inner thighs quiver and my center clench hard and fast. I was dizzy and I was wet between my legs. He must have been able to feel the effect he was having on me because he shoved one of his legs between mine and leaned more fully into my chest. My pointed nipples rasped against his damp chest hair and my hips moved of their own volition against the rock-hard thigh that was pressed into my softest spot. I wanted to be wanton and wild. I wanted to rub myself against him until the throb between my legs went away. My heart couldn’t beat without knocking into his and every breath I took tasted like him.

  I kissed him with every ounce of longing and passion I had because he let me and didn’t run away. I’d never had the thing I was scared of chase after me. I’d never had the challenge I was working my way through refuse to let me quit, even when it might be the best option.

  I kissed him because I wanted to know what kissing him was like and because I was fairly certain no one else would ever kiss me the way he did.

  His scruff was abrasive against my face, his hand was hard where it was around my jaw, but his thumb was a gentle caress against my cheek as he tilted his mouth over mine in every direction. His lips were light but insistent as they brushed across mine and his tongue was tender and soft as it slicked across mine teasingly. His softness was contrasted by all parts of him that were hard and I liked all of it; if the truth be told, I wanted more of it.

  I was trailing my other hand over the contours of his defined pecs, fully intending to work my way to the inadequate knot holding the towel at his waist when he pulled back, curled his hand lightly around my throat so that he could feel my pulse racing, and lightly set me away from him with a frown. I liked how my mouth made his shiny and red. I liked the heat in his cheeks and the fire in his eyes. I liked the way his pulse kicked at his neck and the way his dick jerked in obvious annoyance at the now chilly space between our bodies.

  He pushed his hands through his hair and gave his head a shake. “Lane’s going to come looking for me or your girl is going to come looking for you. This is bad timing and without a doubt a really bad idea for both of us. I’m gonna go and let you get cleaned up while I still have enough blood above the belt to make good decisions.”

  He made his way over to a rickety looking ledge that held his clothes after stopping to pick up the stuff I dropped and placing it there as well. I turned my back to him as he dropped the towel and started to get dressed. I pulled my own clothes off and reached for the water, shrieking in surprise when I felt how cold it was. If I had known I was going to be bathing in ice water, I would have jumped in the lake earlier when I was thinking about it and rinsed the stink off then.

  I took the frigid spray right in the face and shivered as it ran over my scalp and through my hair. I jumped when Cy’s rumbling voice reached me over the sound of the water.

  “I could definitely more than like you, Leo, and there is no question, I more than like what you look like without your clothes on.”

  I let my gaze roll over him and noticed he was looking down at his cock, the thick flesh lifting and elongating more and more as we both took note of his reaction to me. He was standing in the same spot I had been in earlier with his boots in his hand and the expression he had on his face was similar to the one I had worn while I watched him only harsher and more intense. When his gaze shifted to me I swore I could feel the impact of it like a physical touch. I was aware that I would never be asked to walk in a Victoria Secret’s fashion show but I’d never had a problem with the way I looked. The expression on Cy’s face as his eyes drifted over every curve, every dip, every dimple and mark that mapped out a life lived in this skin, made me feel like something extraordinary. His look, the way his entire face tightened in hungry, appreciative lines made me feel like something more, made me feel like I deserved to be worshiped and maybe even loved. If that was how he looked at his girl, then I never wanted to be anything else.

  I lifted a shoulder and let it fall. “I guess if we’re going tit for tat that means I also get to think about you thinking about me while I take my turn . . . relaxing.” I grinned at him because the way he made me feel and the things he made me want to do to myself were anything but calm and restful. “You can stick around and watch—or come back over here and help—because that would only be fair.”

  His eyes sparked with threads of molten silver as he swore low and long under his breath.

  I wasn’t the type of woman who would typically take control of her own pleasure in front a man. I was too rigid, too worried about what the other person might be thinking. But today was the day I climbed a mountain and kissed a man who was all wrong for me so I had bold and brazen running through my blood in a way it never had before. I wasn’t typically open enough to share what I liked, and I wasn’t ever transparent about what I was feeling but in thi
s moment with him, when it felt like we were the only two people in the entire world, I wanted to give him everything. With Cy, there was no fear and I didn’t have to guess what he was thinking. Every emotion and every ounce of desire and encouragement was stamped clearly across his darkly handsome face. He was going to call my bluff and we would both just have to suffer the consequences.

  Eyes locked on his I trailed a single hand down between the valley of my breasts. The icy water had made my skin pebble up and my nipples tighter than they were when I had kissed him. I caught one of the velvety peaks between my fingers and gave it a little tug before rolling my thumb around the softness to soothe the delicious ache. I let out a little groan of pleasure, eyes going to half-mast as I heard him swear again.

  Tossing my head back I shifted my legs so they were open just enough to tease him with all the wet and wanting he had awoken inside of me. I curled my other hand under the curve of my breast and let it skate over the ridges of my ribs and across the soft plane of my stomach. It wasn’t the cold water that made me shiver. It was the way Cy growled my name. It sounded like both a promise and a warning.

  I circled the indent of my belly button with my index finger and sighed when I let my fingers skip lower. It was a shock to my overheated senses when my chilly touch met liquid heat. My folds were slippery and almost too sensitive to touch. My clit was throbbing and begging for any kind of attention. When my touch brushed across the aching little point of pleasure, my entire body jolted and I couldn’t stop the low moan that ripped out of my chest. I was caught up in a hurricane of sensation, the contrast of hot and cold making my head spin and my body already primed and ready to let go from watching Cy work himself over. All it was going to take was a few flicks of the wrist, a twist of my fingers, and maybe another sharp tug on my nipple to get me off. I was certain there had never been a time in my life when I’d been this aroused and it had everything to do with the man watching me like he would die if he had to look away.

  His chest was rising and falling like he couldn’t get enough air. His eyes were so sharp I could feel them cutting into my skin. His face had a hot flush to it and his mouth was parted just enough that I could see the straight line of his teeth sinking into the inside of his lip.

  This wasn’t fun for him like it had been for me. This was torture.

  I let my eyes drift closed and whispered, “I’m soooo close. It never happens this fast for me.” My voice was breathy and I barely recognized my own words. I wasn’t a woman who ever sounded that aroused, but because of Cy I was.

  I slid my thumb around my clit and gasped as the contact set off an entire fireworks display of sensation under my skin.

  “Holy fuck.” The words sounded like they were ripped out of the man watching me. I heard twin thuds as the boots he was holding hit the floor. As soon as I managed to get my heavy lids open all I saw was man.

  I yelped as his hand once again circled around my neck as he pushed me back into the wall. The trickle of water coming from the shower could barely get between us; that’s how close he was to me. He didn’t seem to mind that he was getting just as wet as I was.

  His mouth hit mine with punishing force. Biting and bruising. His fingers tightened around my throat but his thumb skated up and down the long line of my neck chasing the chills he caused. His knee pushed mine farther apart and his free hand covered mine. I couldn’t breathe. I could think. I couldn’t even move.

  All I could do was feel.

  And what I felt was enough to flip my entire existence upside down.

  He pressed my fingers harder onto my clit and used his to start an intoxicating circular motion. Once I was so wound up and shaking from head to toe, he pulled his lips from mine and moved them to my cheek. It was the sweetest kiss I’d ever received and it almost made me fall over when it was combined with the sudden invasion of his fingers inside my fluttering opening.

  My back bowed. My eyes rolled back in my head. My lungs stopped working and I was pretty sure my knees turned to water. The only thing keeping me upright was his hold on my throat and the way he had me pinned with his unwavering stare.

  It didn’t take much. He pumped his rough fingers into the slippery desire that was waiting for him and hooked one like he knew exactly how to get to spot the would set me off. Pleasure rushed out of me, surprising in its intensity. I’d never had an orgasm that left me feeling like I couldn’t function anymore. Never felt satisfaction so potent and strong.

  I put my hands on Cy’s wet shoulders and blinked up at him like I was an owl. I felt like he turned me inside out and I wasn’t sure if I should thank him or swear at him. I didn’t get the chance to do either because as soon as he saw I wasn’t going to wilt into a useless pile of woman at his feet he released me like my skin was made of burning ember.

  “Like I said, I’m not strong enough to stay away.” His words were clipped and almost angry. None of the passionate heat and approval that had been shining out of them when he had his hands on me could be found, just frustration and simmering fury.

  He turned away, running a hand over his wet shirt and the damp fly of his jeans. I wasn’t sure if that was from me or the crappy shower but I honestly kind of wanted it to be from me. The door closed with a little click behind him and I turned back to the shower.

  I should be hurt at his rude dismissal, but I wasn’t. I didn’t have to guess what he meant by his parting words because he meant exactly what he said. It was the wrong place and the wrong time, and we were most definitely the wrong two people, but he wanted me and he couldn’t stay away. Cyrus Warner had just as many control issues as I did, which was why we both liked to test the other’s limits and neither one of us liked to fail.

  If this was what failing felt like, I couldn’t wait to do it again. When I thought I was making good decisions, I ended up with a busted heart and shattered self-esteem. Bad decisions already had proven to be way more fun.

  One thing was for sure, he had already made good on his word to make this a vacation I would never forget.

  Not So Fancy Meeting You Here

  “How long were you married?” I asked the question to Cy’s back after a couple hours of pervading silence.

  I wasn’t sure why I thought the fact that we had seen each other in all our glory, and shared kisses that were defining and delicious, meant that he would put Mr. Personality to rest and be a little bit more approachable. He had started out the morning ride as grumpy and withdrawn as he always was. I wasn’t sure how I ended up in line behind him for the ride today but since I was so close, I could feel his silence like a cloak settled around my shoulders. I had no clue what he was ruminating on, but whatever it was didn’t seem to be very pleasant. In hindsight, my question probably wasn’t the best opportunity to turn that dark disposition in a different direction.

  His head whipped around so he could look at me and I winced at the scowl stamped across his rough features. “Why do you want to know?”

  I wanted to know because he’d had his tongue in my mouth and his hands all over my body. I wanted to know because he always spoke the truth but his eyes kept secrets. I wanted to know because I wanted to know him the way he seemed to already know me.

  I frowned back at him. “I have a hard time picturing anyone wanting to let you go, even though you have being grumpy down to an art from.” I was surprised by my own honesty—and he seemed to be, as well. His features lightened a fraction and some of the storm that was always raging in his eyes cleared right before it darkened to the point they were almost black. He was no longer thunderous, he’d passed that and moved onto something darker and infinitely scarier. I didn’t think he would answer, and when he did I wasn’t prepared for his honesty to gut me, or for the way it made my heart ache for him. His story made my own seem silly and insignificant by comparison and I suddenly I knew the bruises on my heart were nothing compared to the scars sashed on his.

  “She didn’t want to let me go and I didn’t want her to let me go. We loved
each other and she was my everything. But I was stuck here. She didn’t want to stay in Wyoming. She loved me but hated my life and the responsibilities that came with it. She wanted me but not the responsibilities and obligations that came with me. I would have given up anything and everything to make her happy, but she wanted me to give up the one thing I couldn’t.” There was no bitterness in his tone just sad acceptance of the fact that sometimes love wasn’t enough to keep two people together no matter how much they truly cared for one another.

  It sounded like the worst rock and the hardest place ever to be caught between. When it was a fight between love and loyalty there never really ended up being a winner.

  “Didn’t she know who you were and where you came from before she agreed to spend the rest of her life with you?” Cy didn’t strike me as the bait and switch type. I couldn’t exactly nail down what he was, not a cowboy and not a suit for sure, but who he was as a man had been crystal clear from the very start. A man who took care of his family and protected those who mattered to him.

  Cy turned around so he was once again facing the trail up ahead of us. His deep voice easily carried to me as he snorted and then replied, “I told you I met her in college. I went away for school. They were the only four years I spent away from the ranch and away from my family. I came back during breaks with friends, but that wasn’t the same as working a breeding season or getting the herd ready for auction. It wasn’t the same as all of us busting our asses together to make it through the winter.” I saw him shift in the saddle and watched as he ran a hand over his meticulously styled hair. “I never wanted to stay in Wyoming. When I was growing up, I resented the hell out of the isolation and the hard work. All I wanted to do was get laid and have a good time like every other teenager in America.I never got the opportunity and it pissed me off. I was always a solid student and scored high on all my college placement tests. I wrote a sob story entrance essay about my mom leaving us when we were young and how hard our life on the ranch had been, which got me into Boston University. I jumped at the chance to get as far away from home as I could. I felt guilty as hell, leaving Dad alone with Lane and Sutton, but I had to take a shot and see what the rest of the world was like. I was looking for the greener grass and had a shit attitude about it.”