He was too much to resist and she gave up trying. Kissing Luke was opening her mind and her heart and for the first time since her divorce, she was seeing a different world.
“Yes. Oh, yes,” she murmured, then wrapped her arms around his neck and surrendered to the magic of his lips.
Chapter Eight
This time there was nothing gentle about the kiss. It was hungry and urgent, driving the desire between them to a boiling point. Without breaking the contact between their lips, Luke began to guide her across the room to the couch. When the backs of her legs bumped into the soft leather, she tottered precariously on her high heels, but Luke’s strong hands were anchored on her shoulders, preventing her from falling.
He eased her downward, until she was partially lying against the cushions, then quickly levered himself onto the small space next to her. With the heat of his upper body draped over hers, she instinctively shifted her legs, until they were both lying prone, their arms and legs tangled, their lips welded.
Somewhere in the back of her mind, she realized something wild and sweet and totally unexpected was happening between them and she wanted to hold on to the moment forever. She wanted to bottle the heated passion and take it home with her. Because this would end. And memories would be the only thing she’d be left holding.
The stark thought pricked at her dazed senses until finally it broke through and she realized she had to put an end to their reckless passion.
Wedging her hands between them, she pushed until Luke pulled back. He was breathing hard, while confusion flickered in his green eyes.
“Paige, what—”
She scrambled to a sitting position and swiped at the hair that had fallen onto her face. “I’m sorry, Luke,” she said as she tried to regain her breath, along with her senses. “This is…it’s all going—too fast. I’m not ready for…this.”
He sat up and scrubbed his face with both hands, then leveled a meaningful look at her. “It certainly felt like you were ready for it.”
Confused and guilty, she stood with her back to him. “Okay, you’re right,” she said quietly. “My body is saying I’m ready. But my mind just isn’t there yet. This is not something… Since my divorce from David I’ve not wanted to make love to another man.”
“Because you still love him?”
His voice sounded strained, as though it was costing him to ask the question, and Paige wondered if he could actually care about what she was feeling and thinking.
“No. Because I misjudged him so badly. I don’t trust myself anymore. Not where men are concerned.”
“I misjudged my ex-wife badly, Paige. But I can’t let that keep controlling my life.”
She heard a creak of leather and then he was standing in front of her, his hand gently cupping the side of her face. The touch made her quiver with longing and for a moment she wanted to toss all caution out the windows behind them.
“Oh, Luke,” she said in a beseeching voice, “I never expected to be feeling these things. Not with you. But I—”
Before she could say more, he interrupted, “When I invited you here, Paige, it wasn’t with intentions of luring you into my bed. But once we started kissing—well, I think we both got carried away.”
That was an understatement, she thought ruefully. A few more minutes wrapped in his arms and she would’ve been begging him to make love to her. “I’m wondering, perhaps we shouldn’t see each other anymore—outside of work, that is.”
“That wouldn’t take away this urge I feel to have you in my arms,” he said, his voice gruff with emotion. “Besides, this thing that’s going on between us is too special to run from, Paige. We need to see where it takes us.”
Down a dangerous road, that’s where it was going to take them, Paige thought. But it was too late to turn back. Too late to tell herself that she didn’t want this man with every fiber of her being.
“Maybe.”
Her one-word reply was full of uncertainty, but it didn’t seem to bother him. Instead of prodding her for more, he leaned his head down to hers and kissed her cheek.
“Come on,” he murmured, his lips curved into a wry grin. “Let’s go to the kitchen and I’ll make coffee. We can drink it out on the patio and then I’ll show you the fishing pier before I drive you back to Carson City. And I promise to keep my hands off you—for the remainder of the evening.”
Her fingers played with the opening of his shirt and the urge to touch his bare skin was so great it actually hurt. Could be that she was the one who needed to keep her hands and her heart to herself.
“All right,” she agreed. “Let’s go.”
*
Monday night, during an unusual lull in the ER, Luke was sitting in his small office catching up on patient notes, when a light knock sounded on the door and Chet Anderson walked in.
Turning away from the computer screen, he watched the director of nursing pull up a heavy wooden chair and take a seat.
“This is a surprise,” Luke said. “It’s nearly ten o’clock. You must be working overtime.”
He let out a weary breath. “A lengthy meeting with the board of directors.”
Linking his hands at the back of his neck, Luke tilted his chair backward. “So can we expect any changes around the hospital? For a long time, they’ve been talking about adding on two more wings. Any news about that?”
“The funding for that project is still in question. But we are getting some new imaging machines for the lab. And they voted to give two doctors a raise in salary.”
“Good for them. I’m sure they deserve it,” Luke said.
“One of them was you. That’s why I came by. To give you the news. Congratulations.”
Totally bemused, Luke stared at him. “Me? I’ve not asked for a hike in salary.”
“Whether you’ve realized it or not, the doctors and nurses here at Tahoe General are always being evaluated. You’re appreciated around here, Luke. It was a unanimous vote that you deserved a raise.”
How ironic, Luke thought. He was greatly appreciated here at Tahoe General, but back in Baltimore at Oceanside Medical Center, he’d just been an underling with plenty to learn about the pecking order.
When Luke didn’t make an immediate reply, Chet asked, “What’s the matter? I thought most people liked getting a raise.”
Luke shrugged. “It’s great, Chet. Thanks for taking the trouble to give me the news in person.”
Chet grimaced. “Well, you hardly look happy.”
“I was just thinking,” Luke admitted. “About Oceanside and the time I spent there. First as an intern and then a resident. Those days seem like a long time ago and mostly I try to forget them.”
Chet thoughtfully stroked a thumb along his jawline. “I can understand that,” he mused. “From what you’ve told me, you have a lot of unpleasant memories associated with that place and Dr. Weston. The misdiagnosis and his threats for you to keep it quiet. And your subsequent divorce from Andrea. But I thought you were putting all of that behind you.”
Yes, Luke had fled Baltimore with those haunting memories chasing his heels. And since then, Chet was the only other person with whom he’d shared his past.
“I am. At least, I’ve pushed most of it to the back of my mind,” Luke told him. Then he added bitterly, “But I’ll never forget Curtis. I’ll never forgive myself for not going over Weston’s head. At least, the teenager wouldn’t have ended up brain-damaged and spending the rest of his life in a wheelchair.”
Chet shook his head. “Luke, you’re blaming yourself needlessly. From what you’ve told me, Weston was a longtime resident of the hospital and you’d only been there a few short years. If you’d tried to override Weston’s diagnosis, you would’ve probably been fired. What good would that have done Curtis, or you?”
Luke rose from the chair and walked over to the single window that overlooked a small courtyard. The concrete benches shaded by several evergreens were as empty as his insides. “You make it sound simple, Chet. Bu
t it isn’t. It’s all unforgivable. And why? Because I didn’t have the guts to do the right thing. I was more concerned about climbing my own ladder and keeping my wife contented. In the end I ruined Curtis’s life and my marriage. Even worse I caused my parents to die. So you see, getting a raise is nice, but I hardly think I deserve it.”
Rising from the chair, Chet walked over and slapped an encouraging hand on the back of Luke’s shoulder. “One of these days, Luke, you’re going to realize you’re beating yourself up for nothing. Eventually you’re going to understand that you’re not Superman. You can’t stop bullets or speeding trains with one hand. Or make everything right in the world.”
Chet started out of the room, then paused at the door. “I take it you and Paige have mended fences. She hasn’t asked to be transferred anymore.”
Paige. Just hearing her name was enough to make him feel all fuzzy and soft inside. And he almost hated himself for the weakness. He had no business letting his feelings get out of hand for the sexy nurse. No. They might be compatible at work. But after that, the similarities ended. Ultimately, she didn’t want his type of life. And he didn’t want hers. It was crazy to think anything between them could last. Yet he wanted her more than he’d ever wanted any woman.
“Don’t worry. Paige and I are…getting along,” Luke said.
Chet chuckled. “I’m glad. Maybe she’s decided you’re a good guy in a white hat, after all.” He lifted a hand in farewell. “See you later, buddy.”
Good guy? No. If Paige knew about his life before Carson City, she’d most likely be calling him a coward and hypocrite. And the hell of it was, he’d have to agree.
With a heavy sigh, he turned back to his desk, but before he could take a seat, his name came over the intercom.
“Dr. Sherman, you’re needed in treatment room one. Dr. Sherman, treatment room one.”
Shaking away his dismal thoughts, he hurried out of the office and back to the only place he felt at home.
*
The next day, Paige was carefully pouring goat milk into mason jars when Gideon walked into the kitchen and took a seat at the table.
“I see you’ve already finished the milking,” he commented as he pulled off his cap and ran a hand over his graying hair. “Going to work early this afternoon?”
She’d gotten four hours of sleep this morning and now she was hurrying to finish her chores. All because of Luke. He was starting to change her life and Paige wasn’t at all sure that was a good thing.
“No. I’m going to have lunch with Luke.”
“Dr. Sherman, eh. Hmm. Things must be getting serious between you two.”
Even though she tried to ward it off, a pang of doubt rushed through her. “Not really, Grandfather. I don’t think Luke is the getting-serious kind. He went through a bad marriage—like me. He’s wary—like me.”
Gideon scowled at her. “Then why are you bothering with the man?”
Why indeed? She certainly didn’t need to jump into an affair that would more than likely flame out in a few days or weeks. And then where would she be? Trying to work with an ex-lover would be worse than awkward.
“I’m not sure, Grandfather. There’s something about Luke that…well, I like. I think the years we’ve worked together has forged a kind of bond between us. And above all, he is a good man.”
Gideon’s blue eyes gently scanned her face. “I’d sure hate for you to leave me. But you need a good man in your life and children. Even if this Luke isn’t the marrying kind, you’ll eventually find one who is.”
The faint, melancholy note in his voice had Paige groaning. Quickly, she put aside the pail of milk and skirted the table to wrap an arm around her grandfather’s shoulders. “Listen, Grandfather, there is no man on this earth that is going to take me away from you, or this farm. If he wants me, he’s going to have to want the whole package. To live here with me and you—as a family. Otherwise, he can forget having me for a wife.”
He gave her hand a loving pat. “Now, Paige, before you make a decision like that you need to do some thinking. I’ve already lived most of my life. You’re just getting started. I can take care of myself. You don’t need to hang around here for my sake.”
Making a scoffing noise, she gave his shoulder a gentle shake. “You’re confused, Grandfather. I’m hanging around here for my own sake. Because this is where I want to be.”
“Hmm. It’s well and good you feel that way, darlin’, but take a hard look around you. We don’t live like doctors and lawyers and such.”
“Thank God.” Paige returned to the opposite side of the table to pour up the remaining milk. “I had that kind of life, Grandfather. I don’t want it again. Not ever.”
“You had a life of luxury with David. You didn’t get dirt under your fingernails then like you do now.”
Paige laughed shortly. “I had fake fingernails then. And a fake husband.”
Gideon folded his arms across the bib of his overalls as he thoughtfully eyed his granddaughter. “And this Luke—you think he’s the real thing?”
Paige twisted the lid on the last jar of milk, then swiped a strand of fallen hair off her forehead. “He might have his secrets. We all do. But he’s real.”
So real that the mere thought of being alone with him again was making her heart beat with eager excitement.
“If that’s the way you see him, then he’s okay with me.”
She tossed him a doubtful look. “Do you really feel that way, Grandfather? After misjudging David so badly, how can you trust me to have it right about Luke?”
His wrinkled face moved into a faint smile. “You learned your lesson, honey. I know you’ll get it right this time.”
This time? If she had as much confidence in herself as her grandfather seemed to, then she might have the courage to think about having love and marriage in her life again. As it was, Paige wasn’t sure she could ever trust her heart to Luke, or any man.
*
Although the terrace was equipped for a number of guests to dine comfortably, Luke rarely ate any meal outdoors. With only himself for company, it never seemed worth the bother of carrying everything to and from the kitchen.
But today was different. With Paige sitting across the glass-topped table, he was glad he’d made the extra effort. The day was picture-perfect with only enough breeze to whisper through the pines and cool the summer sun. The sky was an endless azure blue, but even its vibrant color couldn’t compare to the fire in Paige’s hair or the silver gray of her luminous eyes.
“This isn’t the Green Lizard,” he said, “but I thought a quiet lunch would be nice before we had to hit the ER this evening.”
Smiling, she spread a spoonful of crab salad onto a club cracker. “I never expected you to have such culinary talents. The table looks lovely and the food is delicious.”
“I confess—my housekeeper made a trip to the deli for me and, uh, helped me with the table. Actually, when I decided to put everything out here on the terrace I wasn’t thinking. This is the second time in a row I’ve made you eat outside.”
“I’m glad. Winter will be here soon enough and then we’ll be cooped up for months.” She picked up a glass of iced lemonade and took a long sip. “I didn’t see your housekeeper when I arrived. Is she here for only part of the day?”
“Normally she comes by in the late afternoons just before I leave for work. She takes care of most everything for me. Even the laundry. At times, she even listens to my complaining and griping.”
A faint smile curved her lips as she leveled a pointed look at him. “The woman must be a saint, or is her hearing impaired?”
Luke chuckled. “Loraine is an older woman but her hearing is still intact. When she first came to work for me I think she had me pegged as a first-class jerk.”
She wrinkled her nose at him. “Oh, my. I wonder where she got that idea.”
Sheepishly, he sliced through a wedge of tomato. “I don’t have a clue. But once she pointed out that we weren’t at
boot camp and I wasn’t her drill sergeant, we got along just fine.”
“Wow. Was she a nurse before she got into housekeeping? We could use her in the ER.”
Luke chuckled again and he realized it felt good to be able to laugh. Especially at himself. He didn’t know how Paige had done it, but she’d pulled him out of the dark place he’d been hiding in. For the first time since his divorce and the subsequent death of his parents, he wanted to live again. Really live.
“No. Loraine doesn’t have any nursing skills. Unless you count raising six children.”
“That counts for a lot of things.”
She might not realize it, Luke thought, but the few times the mention of children came up in their conversation, her voice always took on a wistful note. She would make a wonderful mother, he realized. And she deserved to have children of her own. But children meant marriage and a family. And Luke didn’t want to think of any man getting that close to Paige.
What do you think she’s going to do, Luke? Just hang around with you and let her life slip by while you try to find enough courage to be a husband and father? Paige is a beautiful, passionate woman. When she finds the right man, she’s going to put you in her rearview mirror.
Clearing his throat, he tried to shove away the mocking voice in his head. “So how is your grandfather doing?”
She smiled, her eyes sparkling. “He’s great. This afternoon he and Samson are going to walk down to the timothy field and check for weeds.”
“Samson? Is that a hired hand?”
Paige chuckled as she bit off a chunk of dill pickle. “No. Samson is our dog. The dog we had before him died about two years ago. So Grandfather and I went to the pound and found Samson. He’s a mongrel mix—something between a collie and a Labrador. He’s smart and loving and most of all he doesn’t try to harm the goats or chickens.”
“I see. So what about timothy? Who or what is that?”
She gave him another smile and Luke could only think how she made everything around him come alive. The birds, the sky, the green of the pines and the sparkle of the lake. When Paige was near, everything seemed more vivid and precious.
Her Kind of Doctor Page 10